F This Movie!: June 2013

In the 21st century, there will be a new endangered species: man!

Spectacles of massive might beyond any ever known before!

June is almost over. And you are very sad. But cheer up! Only three more months till #ScaryMovieMonth! Because I blew my #Junesploitation trailer wad last week (ewww), here is a short collection of summer(ish) #HonestTrailers put together by the fine folks at Screen Junkies. Enjoy!

Your last round of Junesploitation picks. Everything will be back to normal soon.

Who will survive and what will be left of them?

by Patrick Bromley

The first time I saw this movie, I did not like it. I have watched it again, and I still do not like it. I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane.

They came to Earth to feed on human flesh!

Junesploitation is almost over. What have I learned?

Whatever the Dirty Dozen did, they do it dirtier!

By request, Patrick and Adam Riske take the field, fight the Beast and find the gay subtext in the 1993 baseball comedy The Sandlot.

The Beatles’ second film makes its Blu-ray debut today, and that brings with it some good news and some bad news…

If you're not back by midnight...you won't be coming home!

The opening sequence to A Hard Day's Night is one of the most iconic in film history. From the moment George strums that Fadd9 (huh?) chord, you know you're in for something special. But does the movie live up to the promise of those frenetic introductory scenes, or does it suffer from a bout of Apocalypse Now Syndrome? That's a question better addressed in Patrick and JB's recent podcast. I'm just here to humblebrag about my recent vacation.

by Adam Riske

The Bling Ring is a terrific movie and well worth seeking out. It has big ideas and something worthwhile to say about “the worst generation.” There is a lot of blame to go around – parents, dime-store philosophies, reality television, TMZ and other gossip rags, etc. The brilliance of The Bling Ring is that it’s done in a way that’s very funny and entertaining. It’s not at all heavy-handed. You’re in the thieves' shoes. You get the big party.

by Adam Riske

I doubt I’ll remember anything about Monsters University at summer’s end. However, it’s an entertaining and charming movie in the moment. Cute is the right word to describe it.

You can't keep a good band down!

Aussie films packed full of boobs, pubes, tubes...and a bit of kung fu!

Hammer is going to take this town apart!

For the last round of #Junesploitation trailerz, let's dive into some Fun Factz[tm]!

We are the future...and nothing can stop us!

We're nearly to the end of our Junesploitation picks, so watch them while you can!

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Or, in this case, like blood, sex and gunpowder.

Some men dream of conquering the world. Roger Corman created his own.

by Mark Ahn

Happy Junesploitation, everybody!

One is a fluke. Two is a trend. Three is a losing streak.

If you've got to fight, fight dirty!

I was bemoaning the lack of a moral center in this weekend’s disappointing Man of Steel; here is a movie that is 100% moral center.

Death walks behind. Hell waits ahead!

The third time is rarely the charm.

By sword. By pick. By axe. Bye Bye!

Patrick and Mark Ahn kneel before Zod.

Shine sweet freedom, shine your light on me.

Crime is a disease. Meet the cure!

We're almost at the halfway point, true believers. And, historically, this stretch is a little rough. We're already veterans of #Junesploitation, but there are still weeks to go. I like to call this our Bastogne period. The fun of basic training and the thrill of D-Day have worn off. Now it's the rough slog through winter. But cheer up! Pretty soon we'll be charging into Germany, securing Hitler's Eagle's Nest and taking morning swims in picturesque Austrian lakes. Light at the end of the tunnel, is what I'm saying.

A dude with a plan to stick it to The Man!

You guys are getting spoiled with all the stuff we're recommending.

This is the End is one of the year's most experimental Hollywood films and one of the summer's best surprises. What could have been an obnoxiously indulgent inside joke or a paid hangout for the stars (think Couples Retreat) is instead an ambitious and ultimately sincere comedy that celebrates a whole bunch of things, including the chance to make a $30 million movie with all your friends.

They haven't built the coffin that can hold him!

Il suo nome era Corbucci!

Be quick or be dead!

Patrick and JB discuss the new horror anthology sequel and remember when VHS was a thing.

This Peter Bogdanovich film has only sporadically been shown on television. It has NEVER been released on any tape or disc format. Boy, is it ever unsung! And Burt Reynolds sings!

So easy to kill. So hard to love.

This is the End is a movie I’m anticipating more than this week’s other new release, Man of Steel. I want to see them both, but This is the End is more important to the future of movies.

by Patrick Bromley

Did anyone do exploitation better than the Cannon Group?

We're Cannon Films, and we're dynamite!

Feel the heat. Taste the blood. Face 2000 chained women head on!

When murder and rape invades your home and the cops can't stop it...this man will. HIS WAY.

We're officially one week into #Junesploitation, and the feedback so far has been wonderful. Thanks to everyone who's participating! Just a word of caution: pace yourself -- you still have three weeks to go.

When there's no more room in HELL the dead will walk the EARTH!

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