'DEAD (HIGH-DEF PHYSICAL MEDIA) FORMAT STILL (BARELY) WALKING!' QUINTET!John Heard in Paul Shrader's CAT PEOPLE (1982, HD-DVD). Also streaming on Peacock.No wonder Kevin's father was so distracted.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tim Burton and Mike Johnson's CORPSE BRIDE (2005, HD-DVD). Also streaming on HBO Max.Johnny Depp's phoned-in performance doesn't steal show.ORChristopher Lee's phoned-in performance steals show? Duh!
Glen Morgan's BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006, HD-DVD). Also streaming on Pluto, IMDB TV, VUDU.Billy's "Simpsons"-inspired origin story nobody asked for.
Zach Snyder's DAWN OF THE DEAD: UNRATED DIRECTOR'S CUT (2004, HD-DVD). Theatrical cut streaming on AMC+, Philo, Spectrum.Endless abandoned malls available for inevitable do-over.ORPre-credits sequence, best zombie mini-movie ever made?
Bong Joon Ho's THE HOST (2006, HD-DVD). Also streaming on Amazon Prime, Hulu, TUBI, Pluto, PLEX, etc.Korean Katniss Everdeen shows creature who's boss.ORBuilding blocks for "Parasite" already in place.
Candyman (1992)NOT THE BEES, NOT THE TOILET BEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!
Friday the 13th (2009)No telekinesis, heart eating, or vengeful paramedics?
The Fog (1980)No 'stach Tom Atkins is just weird
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)Do you think Chucky would fancy Annabelle?
May (2002, Dir. Lucky McKee) Frankenstein is good, but May is Bettis.
Scanners (1981 - David Cronenberg)Let's play game of stare'n'shake - mental piƱata.
The Mad Magician, dir John Brahm, 1954Magician always reveals secrets when killing you.
My Bloody Valentine (1981)I get it, I hate Valentine's, too.
The Pit and the Pendulum, dir Roger Corman, 1961The Pendulum swings sharply with pure Steele
FEAR STREET PART ONE: 1994 (2021) Well, actually, he's called R.L. Stine's monster.
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (1982) watched with 3D glassesMovie needed way more corn popping shots
The Witch (2015)Dir: Robert EggersChris Evans has nothing on Ralph Ineson.
The Return of Godzilla (Gojira) (1984, dir. Koji Hashimoto)Of course the superweapon's called Super X.
Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)Dir: Jack ClaytonHold on. Jason Robards. Regret. Magnolia prequel?
FEAR STREET PART TWO: 1978 (2021) Fun fact: CPR heals multiple stab wounds.
ANGST (1983)Another good horror movie dog this month!
Orphan (2009)Like drinking champagne out of a urinal.
House of Wax (2005)Gotta admit, the house has good bones.
It (2017)These kids bullied a clown to death
Friday the 13th (2009)If camo cargo shorts were a movie.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019, dir. Ruben Fleischer)Continues proud tradition of comedy sequels sucking.
Contracted (2013)I'd recommend but that would violate HIPAA.
FEAR STREET PART THREE: 1666 (2021) Police cars, ambulances, surprisingly easy to steal.
Halloween (2007)Boy, the Babysitter's Club sure got DARK.
Sinister (2012)Realtor advice: remove the murder tree branch.
Son of Frankenstein (1939)Son cannot outrun his father's long shadow.
BRIDE OF BOOGEDY (1987) Vincent Schiavelli improves every movie he's in.
The Cave (2005):Could the budget only afford 90's sunglasses?
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987):Hypnosis conductor probably shouldn't be hypnotized too.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988):That Christian Slater impersonator really loves karate.
Village of the Damned (1960, dir. Wolf Rilla)Kids have glowing eyes, stiff upper lips.
Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire (2000):I so totally buy into this world.
Evil Town (1977, dir. Curtis Hanson, Larry Spiegel, Peter S. Traynor)Why I only go to Nice Town.
Alone in the Dark (1982, dir. Jack Sholder)Crazy Palance finds girl into gun play.
The Collector(2009, Dir:MArcus Dunstan)Equally offends both Cat and Dog peopleorSo mean spirited surprised it wasn't French
The Dark and the Wicked (2020)The devil made them all do it.
Alone in the Dark (1982)Palance is a punk Pleasance issa runt
The Candyman (2021)Is this an unofficial sequel to Mirrors?
The Abominable Dr. Phones (1971, dir.Robert Fuest)Price's "The Murders in the Ru(b)e Goldbmorgue"
Did you mean Dr. PHIBES? šš
Omg. I blame Dr. Phone for that flub.
Man. Dr. Phone rides again.
Necromancer 1988 (Junesploitation Horror Redux, 80s Horror)Ra's al Ghul as a sexual position?
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers 1988 Man, Rachel's boyfriend is confused, dazed even!
HAPPY DEATH DAY (2017) You got the most murderous little babyface.
Saint MaudIt will always be Maude to me.
The Collection(2012 Dir: Marcus Dunstan)Traps less clever but better than firstorTrade you 2 Ravers for 1 mercenary
Re-Animator (1985)Think I might start dramatically breaking pencils.
From Beyond (1986)Resonator summons cosmic horrors and bisexual lighting.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)Heard the chicken is to die for!
Aftermath (2021)Strange most people like double walled construction
Jeepers Creepers (2001)I want that horn for my car.
Children of the Corn (1984)Maybe he who walks behind the corn?
HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U (2019) How many multiverses can a multiverse verse?
Count Dracula (1979, dir. Jesus Franco)Count Pornstache and His Low Energy Players!
Hatchet III (2013)Wanted more Danielle Harris and Derek Mears
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)Larry Talbot's impatience makes me so anxious.
THE LOST BOYS (1987) Came for vampires, stayed for Dianne Wiest.
Thir13en Ghosts (2001) Dir. Steven Beck M4tth3w Li114rd'5 "gh0st f4ce" cur3d my c4t4r4ct5.
Stop stabbing my eyes!
The Wolfman (2010)What light through yonder window breaks? MOON!
Till Death (2021) Dir. S.K. Dale10 Best Lifehacks for Old Wedding Dress.
Ghostbusters (1984)Need fewer Ghostbusters Gatekeepers, more Ghostbusters Keymasters.
HOUSE OF WAX (2005):We need more schlock auteurs like Collet-Serra.
Society (1989)If fist doesn't fit, you must acquit.
Frankenstein’s Daughter (1958)Part 50’s horror and part Beach Party!
Psycho (1998) Dir. Gus Van SantWade, it's Arbogast. Aw jeez...it's Marion.
The Special (2020)Insert "Dick in a Box" joke here
THE WITCH (2016) "Dost thou want triple chocolate chip cheesecake?"
Phobia 1980Hutch in Salem's Lot, both showed promise.
Halloween Kills 2021No one mentioned zesty popcorn, I checked!
Trick 'r Treat (2007)So that's how Logan got his scars.
The Perfection (2018)This movie makes my tummy feel funny.
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)My God Julie Adams, what a woman.
The Funhouse (1981)Lil Frankenstein learns its per-nut not per-night.
Candyman (1992)Between Candyman and Bulls, '92 Chicago's year.
Friday the 13th (Sean S. Cunningham, 1980)The Bacon kill is an all timer
Body Snatchers(1993, Dir Abel Ferrara)Underseen take on classic is must seeorFerrara killed it in the early nineties.
The Lost Boys (1987) dir. Joel SchumacherSecretly wants to be Grease 2 remake.
Creep (2014)There's a little peachfuzz inside us all.
Old Dir. M. Knight Shyamalan 2021 Don’t trust someone promising a secret beach
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
'DEAD (HIGH-DEF PHYSICAL MEDIA) FORMAT STILL (BARELY) WALKING!' QUINTET!
ReplyDeleteJohn Heard in Paul Shrader's CAT PEOPLE (1982, HD-DVD). Also streaming on Peacock.
No wonder Kevin's father was so distracted.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteTim Burton and Mike Johnson's CORPSE BRIDE (2005, HD-DVD). Also streaming on HBO Max.
DeleteJohnny Depp's phoned-in performance doesn't steal show.
OR
Christopher Lee's phoned-in performance steals show? Duh!
Glen Morgan's BLACK CHRISTMAS (2006, HD-DVD). Also streaming on Pluto, IMDB TV, VUDU.
ReplyDeleteBilly's "Simpsons"-inspired origin story nobody asked for.
Zach Snyder's DAWN OF THE DEAD: UNRATED DIRECTOR'S CUT (2004, HD-DVD). Theatrical cut streaming on AMC+, Philo, Spectrum.
ReplyDeleteEndless abandoned malls available for inevitable do-over.
OR
Pre-credits sequence, best zombie mini-movie ever made?
Bong Joon Ho's THE HOST (2006, HD-DVD). Also streaming on Amazon Prime, Hulu, TUBI, Pluto, PLEX, etc.
ReplyDeleteKorean Katniss Everdeen shows creature who's boss.
OR
Building blocks for "Parasite" already in place.
Candyman (1992)
ReplyDeleteNOT THE BEES, NOT THE TOILET BEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!
Friday the 13th (2009)
ReplyDeleteNo telekinesis, heart eating, or vengeful paramedics?
The Fog (1980)
ReplyDeleteNo 'stach Tom Atkins is just weird
Annabelle Comes Home (2019)
ReplyDeleteDo you think Chucky would fancy Annabelle?
May (2002, Dir. Lucky McKee)
ReplyDeleteFrankenstein is good, but May is Bettis.
Scanners (1981 - David Cronenberg)
ReplyDeleteLet's play game of stare'n'shake - mental piƱata.
The Mad Magician, dir John Brahm, 1954
ReplyDeleteMagician always reveals secrets when killing you.
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
ReplyDeleteI get it, I hate Valentine's, too.
The Pit and the Pendulum, dir Roger Corman, 1961
ReplyDeleteThe Pendulum swings sharply with pure Steele
FEAR STREET PART ONE: 1994 (2021)
ReplyDeleteWell, actually, he's called R.L. Stine's monster.
FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (1982) watched with 3D glasses
ReplyDeleteMovie needed way more corn popping shots
The Witch (2015)
ReplyDeleteDir: Robert Eggers
Chris Evans has nothing on Ralph Ineson.
The Return of Godzilla (Gojira) (1984, dir. Koji Hashimoto)
ReplyDeleteOf course the superweapon's called Super X.
Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)
ReplyDeleteDir: Jack Clayton
Hold on. Jason Robards. Regret. Magnolia prequel?
FEAR STREET PART TWO: 1978 (2021)
ReplyDeleteFun fact: CPR heals multiple stab wounds.
ANGST (1983)
ReplyDeleteAnother good horror movie dog this month!
Orphan (2009)
ReplyDeleteLike drinking champagne out of a urinal.
House of Wax (2005)
ReplyDeleteGotta admit, the house has good bones.
It (2017)
ReplyDeleteThese kids bullied a clown to death
Friday the 13th (2009)
ReplyDeleteIf camo cargo shorts were a movie.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019, dir. Ruben Fleischer)
ReplyDeleteContinues proud tradition of comedy sequels sucking.
Contracted (2013)
ReplyDeleteI'd recommend but that would violate HIPAA.
FEAR STREET PART THREE: 1666 (2021)
ReplyDeletePolice cars, ambulances, surprisingly easy to steal.
Halloween (2007)
ReplyDeleteBoy, the Babysitter's Club sure got DARK.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSinister (2012)
ReplyDeleteRealtor advice: remove the murder tree branch.
Son of Frankenstein (1939)
ReplyDeleteSon cannot outrun his father's long shadow.
BRIDE OF BOOGEDY (1987)
ReplyDeleteVincent Schiavelli improves every movie he's in.
The Cave (2005):
ReplyDeleteCould the budget only afford 90's sunglasses?
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987):
ReplyDeleteHypnosis conductor probably shouldn't be hypnotized too.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988):
ReplyDeleteThat Christian Slater impersonator really loves karate.
Village of the Damned (1960, dir. Wolf Rilla)
ReplyDeleteKids have glowing eyes, stiff upper lips.
Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire (2000):
ReplyDeleteI so totally buy into this world.
Evil Town (1977, dir. Curtis Hanson, Larry Spiegel, Peter S. Traynor)
ReplyDeleteWhy I only go to Nice Town.
Alone in the Dark (1982, dir. Jack Sholder)
ReplyDeleteCrazy Palance finds girl into gun play.
The Collector(2009, Dir:MArcus Dunstan)
ReplyDeleteEqually offends both Cat and Dog people
or
So mean spirited surprised it wasn't French
The Dark and the Wicked (2020)
ReplyDeleteThe devil made them all do it.
Alone in the Dark (1982)
ReplyDeletePalance is a punk
Pleasance issa runt
The Candyman (2021)
ReplyDeleteIs this an unofficial sequel to Mirrors?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Abominable Dr. Phones (1971, dir.
ReplyDeleteRobert Fuest)
Price's "The Murders in the Ru(b)e Goldbmorgue"
Did you mean Dr. PHIBES? šš
DeleteOmg. I blame Dr. Phone for that flub.
DeleteMan. Dr. Phone rides again.
DeleteNecromancer 1988 (Junesploitation Horror Redux, 80s Horror)
ReplyDeleteRa's al Ghul as a sexual position?
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers 1988
ReplyDeleteMan, Rachel's boyfriend is confused, dazed even!
HAPPY DEATH DAY (2017)
ReplyDeleteYou got the most murderous little babyface.
Saint Maud
ReplyDeleteIt will always be Maude to me.
The Collection(2012 Dir: Marcus Dunstan)
ReplyDeleteTraps less clever but better than first
or
Trade you 2 Ravers for 1 mercenary
Re-Animator (1985)
ReplyDeleteThink I might start dramatically breaking pencils.
From Beyond (1986)
ReplyDeleteResonator summons cosmic horrors and bisexual lighting.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
ReplyDeleteHeard the chicken is to die for!
Aftermath (2021)
ReplyDeleteStrange most people like double walled construction
Jeepers Creepers (2001)
ReplyDeleteI want that horn for my car.
Children of the Corn (1984)
ReplyDeleteMaybe he who walks behind the corn?
HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U (2019)
ReplyDeleteHow many multiverses can a multiverse verse?
Count Dracula (1979, dir. Jesus Franco)
ReplyDeleteCount Pornstache and His Low Energy Players!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHatchet III (2013)
ReplyDeleteWanted more Danielle Harris and Derek Mears
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)
ReplyDeleteLarry Talbot's impatience makes me so anxious.
THE LOST BOYS (1987)
ReplyDeleteCame for vampires, stayed for Dianne Wiest.
Thir13en Ghosts (2001) Dir. Steven Beck
ReplyDeleteM4tth3w Li114rd'5 "gh0st f4ce" cur3d my c4t4r4ct5.
Stop stabbing my eyes!
DeleteThe Wolfman (2010)
ReplyDeleteWhat light through yonder window breaks? MOON!
Till Death (2021) Dir. S.K. Dale
ReplyDelete10 Best Lifehacks for Old Wedding Dress.
Ghostbusters (1984)
ReplyDeleteNeed fewer Ghostbusters Gatekeepers, more Ghostbusters Keymasters.
HOUSE OF WAX (2005):
ReplyDeleteWe need more schlock auteurs like Collet-Serra.
Society (1989)
ReplyDeleteIf fist doesn't fit, you must acquit.
Frankenstein’s Daughter (1958)
ReplyDeletePart 50’s horror and part Beach Party!
Psycho (1998) Dir. Gus Van Sant
ReplyDeleteWade, it's Arbogast. Aw jeez...it's Marion.
The Special (2020)
ReplyDeleteInsert "Dick in a Box" joke here
THE WITCH (2016)
ReplyDelete"Dost thou want triple chocolate chip cheesecake?"
Phobia 1980
ReplyDeleteHutch in Salem's Lot, both showed promise.
Halloween Kills 2021
ReplyDeleteNo one mentioned zesty popcorn, I checked!
Trick 'r Treat (2007)
ReplyDeleteSo that's how Logan got his scars.
The Perfection (2018)
ReplyDeleteThis movie makes my tummy feel funny.
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)
ReplyDeleteMy God Julie Adams, what a woman.
The Funhouse (1981)
ReplyDeleteLil Frankenstein learns its per-nut not per-night.
Candyman (1992)
ReplyDeleteBetween Candyman and Bulls, '92 Chicago's year.
Friday the 13th (Sean S. Cunningham, 1980)
ReplyDeleteThe Bacon kill is an all timer
Body Snatchers(1993, Dir Abel Ferrara)
ReplyDeleteUnderseen take on classic is must see
or
Ferrara killed it in the early nineties.
The Lost Boys (1987) dir. Joel Schumacher
ReplyDeleteSecretly wants to be Grease 2 remake.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCreep (2014)
ReplyDeleteThere's a little peachfuzz inside us all.
Old
ReplyDeleteDir. M. Knight Shyamalan 2021
Don’t trust someone promising a secret beach
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
ReplyDelete