Glossary

Allentar -- The actor in every post-Manhattan Woody Allen film that inexplicably acts and sounds just like him. See: John Cusack in Bullets Over Broadway or Kenneth Branagh in Celebrity. (Thanks to Adam Riske)

The Book of Eli Effect -- A film from early in the year that just gets better and better as one slogs through the shit of the rest of the year.

BWF -- Bruce Willis Face.

The Chris Farley Show -- A podcast devoted to nothing but gushing praise.

The Coming Attractions Conundrum -- Phenomenon of sitting through trailers and wishing one of them was the film actually playing next.

Deus ex Monstera --  Plot contrivance in which all of life's problems are worked out thanks to the presence of a monster.

E-Quaid-Er -- The measure by which we judge whether or not an actor/actress is any good: are they better or worse than Dennis Quaid, an actor who will neither help nor harm a movie.

The Full Spano -- Full frontal nudity.

The Goonies Derivation -- Revisiting a beloved film from one's childhood to see if it still holds up. (Thanks to Dawn Hunt)

Haverick -- The fictional animal that Doug created as a child, inspired by his love of Pete "Maverick" Mitchell in Top Gun.

The Kurt Russell Rule -- Kurt Russell rules.

PornNOTgraphy -- Porn in movies which isn't porn; strippers that do not get naked. See: Bryan Cranston's addiction to "online porn" (read: girls in swimsuits) in the PG-13 Larry Crowne.

Shock and "Awwww" -- The reaction to seeing the World Trade Center photographed in any movie made prior to September 11, 2001.

"The List" -- The annoying list of films (both deserving and not) that film school students hold pretentiously sacred, including A Clockwork Orange, Fight Club, Donnie Darko and The Boondock Saints.