Wednesday, September 26, 2012

F This Movie! - F Everything!

Patrick and Doug get ready for Scary Movie Month by debating Resident Evil vs. Underworld, attempt to plan their October watching and play a few rounds of horror-themed Best/Worst.



Download this episode here. (32.8 MB)

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Also discussed this episode: ParaNorman, Damsels in Distress

5 days until Scary Movie Month!!

44 comments:

  1. Revisiting The Hostel/II podcast from last year has me really anticipating Scary Movie Month. Horror's one of those genres that I always feel I've missed big chunks of because one can't just stick to the classics to get a complete feel for it.

    Also, apologies for not commenting for a while (I'm still here!) The recent review of the Master and follow-up discussion were excellent.

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    1. OK... not so recent. The film only made it to my city last week.

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    2. Welcome back! Don't ever scare us like that again.

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  2. My terrible taste and I love the hell out of those Resident Evil movies.
    The audio commentaries are some of the funniest and most clueless things in existence.
    Some gems:

    "Broad range of acting here"

    "Milla is really a thinking actress"

    "I really think Milla brings a great performance to this movie. She brings... an honesty, an integrity. She really makes you believe the world of the film."

    "Linden took his role and really made it a full, fleshed-out, three-dimensional character"

    and my favourite:
    "There's really a struggle between the science division and the military division of Umbrella. Kind of like church and state."

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    1. This is great -- now I have to check out these commentaries!

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    2. Me too. But I can't tell if you saying "great" is sincere or sarcastic.

      My favorite thing about Milla Jovovich? The fact that she is sentient.

      Just kidding! It's Kuffs.

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    3. If you're really gonna listen to the commentaries, I definitely recommend the cast commentary for the second movie. Sienna Guillory is really analyzing her character and talking about the amazing story (which is adorable and sad) while Milla Jovovich is pretty noticeably drunk and talking with a German accent. It's glorious.


      Another great bit from the first:

      Paul Anderson: "All these flashbacks were digitally graded, which is why the colours are so great. We went in and took each individual frame and colored them separately. We took a lot of color out and--"
      Milla Jovovich: "Okay, can I just say, like, who cares about that? You just saw my nipple!"

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  3. Also: Patrick, you haven't seen Silent Hill?
    I totally recommend it for scary movie month. (I just admitted to loving the Resident Evil movies so I'm sure you can't wait to take my advice.)
    It doesn't make a lot of sense but it's really pretty. I'd almost say it's ~visually amazing~.

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    1. I disagree, "Silent Hill" is a storytelling mess; character motivations and the story only make sense if you've played through the original PlayStation videogame (a classic, as close as a videogame has come to given me an "Exorcist"-like experience). Heck, I played a few "Silent Hill" games (PS2 and XBox) and the movie's story was still muddled as hell to me. Every human actor except for Sean Bean (who still struggles) might as well be an automatron robot, particularly the women (Laurie Holden, etc.); they're like Bresson mannequins that wondered into a horror movie "set" (i.e. green screen projecting some shoddy 2nd rate CGI background/effect).

      The only good thing about the movie is its depection of "Pyramid Head" ('nuff said to not spoil it) but that can only carry this dud of a "horror" flick so far. I'd rather watch "Ultraviolet" on an endless loop than "Silent Hill" ever again, and I freaking hate "Ultraviolet."

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  4. I'm starting scary movie month with the Hannibal Lecter series, and ending with all 10 Michael Myers films!

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    1. That's brave, sir. Will that include Hannibal Rising? YIKES.

      Be sure to keep us posted in the Scary Movie Challenge. And listen to our Halloween podcast from last year when you get through all those movies.

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    2. My first movie for Scary Movie Month (SMM)(TM), is LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. If anyone needs me, I'll be under my bed. For a while.

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  5. I feel your pain Brother Doug - the pain of wearing tight pants while Kate Beckinsale is on-screen - no actually, I mean the pain of having a spouse who is not into horror movies. But that's okay, I just stay up later than her, turn off all the lights, put on my headphones (makes it extra creepy because you can't hear things sneaking up on you) and watch them ALONE IN THE DARK. I don't watch Alone in the Dark though, cuz wow that's a bad movie.

    Looking forward to Scary Movie Month big time - have a long list of ones I've missed over the past decade and the Universal Monster movies I haven't seen before (tip - order from Amazon UK - $50 shipped as opposed to over $100!). Not to mention that for some reason I love it when you guys F scary movies so yeah, should be a great month!

    P.S. Anyone who hasn't seen the original Night of the Living Dead and you don't plan to because you don't think it will hold up to the modern horror you're used to - watch that shit - I had similar doubts but watched it for the first time about a month ago and it is actually REALLY good.

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    1. I couldn't agree more about the original NotLD. It's the best!

      I watched a few movies on my laptop last year. And, yes, while the sound is more creepy (especially with quality headphones), the picture suffered. It still looks better on a big TV (or, if you're Patrick, on your enormous basement home theater system).

      But I'll watch scary movies anyway I can next month. Anything to contribute to the Scary Movie Challenge.

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    2. Oh no, laptops are for emergency movie watching only - you need to hook yourself up with some wireless headphones through your home theatre (in my case probably not nearly the "theatre" as Patrick's) receiver - then you can have ear-molesting sound and the big screen for your movies at all hours of the night! Not to mention a heightened sense of claustrophobic anxiety when you're watching scary ones!

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  6. I actually like the first Resident Evil and Underworld movies. Resident Evil is brainless(pun, sorry) action but watchable as long as no one talks, same thing for Underworld. Unfortunately, their sequels shitted the bed by trying to be smarter and more complex than they needed to be, and what's worse than W.S. Anderson and Wiseman dumb is W.S. Anderson and Wiseman smart.

    Also, you can blame foreign r's for the success of the sequels. The international grosses for all the Resident Evil films are at least double the domestic gross(Afterlife made $230 million internationally while just $60 million U.S.). Same thing for the last Underworld.

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  7. Hey Patrick, I can sort of recommend Knightriders to you, but only sort of. It's a little longer than it should be, but it has a few interesting ideas behind it. Not sure if it's on Netflix instant. I would watch it before making a purchasing decision.

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    1. "Knightriders" has one of the best commentary tracks I've heard in a no-name cult movie, almost worth the purchase of the DVD if you like to listen to George Romero and his crew of regulars talk about making movies for themselves (a nice contrast to the 'happy' tone of the "Dawn/Day of the Dead" commentaries). The stories of the shit Ed Harris pulled on them to get into character will make you see then-young Ed (about to break big with "The Right Stuff" a few years later) as a 'douchy' type of actor dude. Very, very uneven movie though, so I'd definitely watch before I buy (which is a tall order because it's so freaking long).

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  8. Wow... so much I could comment on.

    I'll keep it short though.

    Yes, I agree with you about the lameness of many film sites. It can almost turn you off of movies altogether.

    I dislike the Resident Evil movies, minus the third one (by the director of Highlander no less) I, too, find Underworld boring, but it looks pretty. About all I can say about those.

    Believe it or not, I own My Soul to Take on blu ray. It was so awful when I netflixed it that I had to buy it to see all the extras. Wes Craven is a hero of mine, but my god, that was hideous--but in a sort of amazing way.

    Unlike John Carpenter's The Ward. However, one underrated film I like of Carpenter's is his remake of Village of the Damned. There are definite problems with it, but there are moments as good as anything he has done too.

    Plus, having Superman and Luke Skywalker together is pretty sweet.

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    1. "It was so awful when I netflixed it that I had to buy it to see all the extras."

      I love this so much.

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  9. The Underworld movies are based on a "graphic novel". The second one and the prequel are decent. The last one is a really bad vacuous attempt to turn the series into Resident Evil (or maybe Twilight).

    Speaking of which, if you had a chance to get rid of a film series why wouldn't you immediately go for Twilight!

    And I'm making my list for SSM....does Black Swan count as horror? :-)

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    1. I've seen the first three movies in both series, and I would agree that the second two Underworld movies are "better" than the first. And I'll agree with Cameron that the first movie is shot well. And then I'm tapped out.

      I would argue that the RE and Underworld movies basically just ARE Twilight for a different audience.

      Black Swan counts as horror if you ask JB.

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    2. I've only seen the prequel and parts of Evolution, but I found the former to be an extremely unpleasant viewing experience. Maybe it was due to the headache I got rolling my eyes the entire time.

      I didn't necessarily agree with critics reducing Avatar to a Dances with Wolves knock-off (although, that doesn't mean I didn't find the story to be trite) but Underworld 3 really feels like Spartacus-lite, but dark.

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  10. PS - "Damsels in Distress" sounds like a reboot of "Sucker Punch"...

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  11. You know, I have the first two movies from each of the two series ("Resident Evil" on DVD and "Underworld" on BD) unwatched and unopened in my giant kevyip pile(s).

    Since I want to listen to this podcast (can't right now because I'm assuming there are spoilers for both series) and, in honor of me participating in Scary Movie Month for the first time (unless you count listening to the "Sleepway Commentary" track almost a year ago, i.e. my gateway to the podcast and this upside-backwards-down 'F This Movie' world), I'm going to watch these four movies, post my 7-word reviews for each and then decide whether to keep watching sequel #3 and up or not. I'm a huge fan of the Capcom videogame series ("Resident Evil 2" is one my top-5 games of all time) so the "RE" movies start with a slight advantage.

    As an unabashed Whit Stillman whore (with a cinematic man crush on Chris Eigeman, i.e. the funniest actor when Whit puts him in one of his movies) I was there opening night when "Damsels in Distress" premiered in NYC a few months back. I felt like a 'noob' Woody Allen fan that went to see "To Rome with Love" to chase the "Midnight in Paris" high. I didn't even get the consolation of Chris Eigeman, instead had to settle for Zach Woods doing an impression of THE Chris Eigeman character (Rick DeWolfe).

    Turns out Stillman's 13-year hiatus from directing wasn't interrupted by his next big thing. He only did it because he needed to get a pleasant trife out of his system (and probably because money was on the table and available to make "Damsels" in 2011). I didn't hate "Damsels in Distress" and actually laughed and chuckled often (which is a lot more than the half-filled opening night crowd did, they hated it) but it's main purpose now is to remind me how great "Metropolitan," "Barcelona" and (to a lesser extent) "The Last Days of Disco" are. Ironically I think "Damsels in Distress" is a great introduction to Whit Stillman for those that haven't seen or "gotten" his particular filmmaking niche. Some of us old-time fans can't help but compare this with "the original trilogy."

    :-P

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    1. If it makes any difference, we don't spoil anything from either movie/series. At all.

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    2. Oh, really ?
      (computer shutting down, off to hear the podcast). :-)

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  12. FYI, it may just be me but iTunes downloaded last years F Everything show, instead of the new one.
    I can be slow so feel free to throw fruit if it is me.

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  13. One thing I thought was weird was when I streamed this podcast directly from fthismovie.net, it shut off two times (in different places) and had to be reloaded again to play.
    The first time happened on a PC. The second on an iMac.
    Bizarre.

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  14. Hey all!

    For SMM I'm planning on at least the first 3 of the Nightmare on Elm Street series followed by Cry_Wolf, which has sat on my shelf unwatched for at least three years. And then I'm thinking Freddy vs. Jason.

    On a related note I've never seen District 9 but I heard it described as a horror film. Is this true fax or delusional lies?

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    1. To answer your District 9 question: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nvuEw9XcuU

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    2. Heheh - in case Emeric's link is too subtle, there's far more to laugh at than be scared of in District 9 - there's a fair bit of gore but it's definitely not horror. That being said I would highly recommend it (hmmm...good movie to F, perhaps?) - sure the apartheid metaphor is a tad on the nose, but it's super-entertaining -great story, acting and effects - I think Patrick and the gang would recommend it as well.

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    3. I second that emotion. Every part.

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    4. Also -- glad to hear you're joining us, Dawn. Good luck with Cry_Wolf. I was...not a fan.

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  15. For recent horror movies, I would recommend Insidious. I was shocked that the creators of the Saw movies could make such an effective, tense movie without any gore or torture porn crap.
    I was expecting a one hour detailed analysis on the Resident Evil & Underworld franchises. How dare you use the Milla Jovovich vs Kate Beckinsale cover? Shenanigans! Shenanigans!

    I’ve seen Resident Evil 1-4 & “only” Underworld 2 & 4. Resident Evil Extinction & Underworld Evolution are the only good movies of each franchise.

    RE: Extinction tried some new ideas with giving Alice some new powers & the Las Vegas desert setting was a big improvement over the enclosed areas & nighttime city settings of the previous ones. I was never a big Highlander fan but Russell Mulcahy handled the action scenes with impact & clarity. I really liked the surprises that Alice found in the ending so much that I was even looking forward to the sequel to see how she would use them. (It’s a shame RE: Afterlife flushed it all down the toilet in its 1st ten minutes. I finally gave up on the RE franchise after that cynical mess of a movie.)

    I loved every second of Underworld Evolution’s R-Rated hardcore action scenes. There’s no way it would’ve got an R-Rating back in the 80’s & 90’s without a ton of cuts. Evolution also features one of my favorite final bad guy death scenes. I know Beckinsale & Scott Speedman still have no chemistry (or much acting skills either) but Derek Jacobi, Steven Mackintosh, & Tony Curran are chewing up the scenery to make up for them.
    I missed The Rise of the Lycans & had the misfortune of renting UW Awakening. Awakening promised something new with a war between humans & vampires in the future but all we got was more of the same. Even the action scenes were poor & forgettable. I don’t want to even get into the cynical setup of a sequel ending.

    BTW, The Raft section of Creepshow 2 scared the crap out of me as a kid. I still don’t know how many nightmares I had of that living oil slick especially after that ending (“I BEAT YOU!”). Being an old school pro wrestling fan, I also remember it for the car radio playing Lex Luger’s WCW theme music. Go figure.

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    1. So after hearing the new RE was a (financial) hit I played catch up watching all of the RE films and I just got back from watching the most recent one.
      I didnt hate the first one, the second made me think it was a joke "movie-within-a-movie" a number of times through out (stripper heels and mini skirt woman bursting into the police station and recognised as the badass cop of the town then she releases the comedic relief of the film.......I swore I was watching outtakes from Last Action Hero), 3 was ok, 4 was trying to have some sort of commentary on the film business but Fails(producer is the selfish bad guy who is the lap dog of the big corporation, the innocent aspiring actress is easily devoured, the recognisable face survives with "Star Power"[not a joke] and Alice wins every confrontation by throwing more money at it......out of a shotgun). Number 5 was just a big dose of FAIL. It was as straight up videogame movie as you can get - direct expository describing the environment and where they need to go next followed by an action scene....and repeat. Very boring

      I also went to see Looper today.....DAMN, Great movie. You need to F that!

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  16. I really love these episodes where there are no particular movies being discussed and it's just two guys shooting the breeze. After all of these dozens of comments above I have little to add, so I'll just say that it is effin' weird to hear myself pop up on the podcast from time to time mentioned as "Heath Holland." I mean, I know that's my name, it just sounds weird. I don't think of myself as Heath Holland, just Heath. Could I just be Heath? I'm the only one, since Ledger died. Or perhaps Heath Hollywood? That's got a nice ring to it. Or I could just adjust to being called Heath Holland. After thirty plus years, it's starting to grow on me.

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    1. My bad re: using your full name. From now on, you shall be be HOLLYWOOD HEATH! Thus spaketh F THIS MOVIE!

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    2. Ooooo! That's so close to the name I wrestled under for years, Hollywood Heath Hogan. Brings back memories. Whatcha gonna do, brother, with this scary movie month runs wild on you!

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  17. BTW...the Best/Worst of John Carpenter...where does Dark Star fall in there? Does it get extra points for doing so much with so little money?

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  18. Here the download link is also not working ;-(

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