Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Riske Business: The Hall of Kick-Ass, Vol. 1
Instead I want to say "thanks" to the celebrities I’ve met who provided me with a great memory or a chuckle, and welcome them into the brand new Hall of Kick-Ass!*
And here are the first inductees:
Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Demon Knight, Zodiac) - I got an autograph from Charles Fleischer at an autograph show that I was at with my best friend Jon and his then-girlfriend. My friend went to the bathroom when I was getting the autograph, so it was just me and his girlfriend. Charles Fleischer asks “Are you two a couple?” and she said “No, I’m his best friend’s girlfriend. Jon is in the bathroom right now.” Charles Fleischer said “Cool, is he coming back?” and I said “Yeah, there he is right now.” As Jon walked over, Fleischer came out from behind his table and said “Jon, this a**hole is fu**ing your woman.” It was meant to get a big laugh. It did not. Oh Fleischer!
The Princess Bride, Bordello of Blood) – I went to have Chris Sarandon sign a poster for Bordello of Blood. Sarandon looks at it, and then at me, and says “I wasn’t in this.” I said “Yeah, your name is there on the poster.” Sarandon replied “Huh, so it is.” This man once was married to Susan Sarandon. Incredible.
Point Break, A League of Their Own, Free Willy) – Lori Petty did not seem like she wanted to be signing autographs. I originally was let down when I met her, since it was a ho-hum experience, but as the day went on I walked past her table a couple more times and noticed something: she was being musically waterboarded by pop star Taylor Dayne. Let me explain. Lori Petty’s table was right next to Taylor Dayne’s. Taylor Dayne was playing "Tell It To My Heart" on a boom box really loud and on REPEAT! I get it, Lori Petty. It’s not your fault. P.S. Taylor Dayne has a kind of great song in the movie The Shadow, making it the only great thing to come from that movie. It’s like if Meat Loaf sung a Bond theme. Don’t believe me?
Update: "Original Sin" has become the official song of the Hall of Kick-Ass.
Kill Bill) – Michael Madsen was super nice! What a pleasant surprise! When I met him at a Tarantino-themed movie event, I mentioned to him how much I liked Free Willy. My sister was with me and said “Ugh, I can’t believe you mentioned Free Willy.” Madsen looks up and says “What’s wrong with Free Willy?” in Michael Madsen voice. He and I then had a nice minute or so chat about how Free Willy is wonderful to which he finished by saying “The first one is, the second one isn’t, they didn’t even have a real whale. Politics.”
Bubba Ho-Tep) – Reggie Bannister is very nice and very much a California hippie. He kept me at his table for 20 minutes telling me about Napa Valley music festivals and how he and his wife do competitive chili cook-offs while I mostly stood there and nodded, adding nothing to the conversation. He seemed lonely, and now he will never be again because he’s in the Hall of Kick-Ass.
Top Gun, Willow, Tombstone) – I was a little intimidated to meet Val Kilmer since I heard he can be grumpy. These are lies. He was awesome and very funny! I bought an 8x10 photo from Willow for him to sign. The photo is of his character, Madmartigan, carrying Warwick’s Davis’ Willow on his shoulders. When he saw I picked that photo, he said “Can I put a work joke on here?” So he wrote Actual Size and drew an arrow pointing at Warwick Davis. It’s my favorite autograph.
*Also I would like to immediately induct Billy Campbell (The Rocketeer), William Sadler (Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey), Alex Winter (Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey) and Vanessa Williams (New Jack City) into the Hall of Kick-Ass for their support of F This Movie Fest 2. We love you all. Thanks for being kick ass!
Your turn! Who have you met that is awesome and worthy of joining the Hall of Kick-Ass? Please, pretty please do not leave ‘so and so was a jerk’ comments. If you do, you missed the Dunst’s point.