Friday, March 15, 2013

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (March 15)

The first preview featured after the jump is Somebody Up There Likes Me, starring Parks and Rec's Nick Offerman. Why am I telling you this in my usually off-topic-yet-always-hilarious preamble? Because the official trailer, while serviceable (more on that below), is actually less interesting than the two YouTube "promos" featuring Offerman (and very special guests) acting the fool -- while high -- with irreverent, funny, new wave results. Take a look at them here and here. The second one's better, specifically the close-up of Alison Brie saying, "Pussy." Director Bob Byington's might be onto something.  

Somebody Up There Likes Me
Release date: TBA

OK, so the trailer is ... fine? Feels like most other indie comedies out there, which I guess is the point. But if they're hoping I drive to the theater based on the concept that it's, "Like a Todd Solondz film directed by Wes Anderson," I might have to disappoint. The last bit of business ("I would like to see you in just panties") is pretty great though, if only for that perfectly timed reveal. Good work!

Kick-Ass 2
Release date: Aug. 16, 2013

Probably the biggest preview "dropping" this week (look at me, all industry), but it's slightly NSFW (for language), so, you know, HEADPHONES. On this site, I might be the least biggest fan of Matthew Vaughn's original Kick-Ass, which is to say we're all "fans" of the film -- me just less-so. I mean, I got it, I just didn't "get it," you know? Sure, it was interesting and had a great cameo (#nospoilo), but it also left me a little cold. WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE! Now, re: Kick-Ass 2 ... this, I don't get. The tone is all over the place -- it looks ugly-yet-slick (in a bad, CG way), cartoonish-yet-violent. And I'm not sure Jim Carrey is helping matters much. Where's the subtext? Where's the self-awareness? Where's the satire? Yes, it's just a trailer, and they're obviously marketing the movie to the largest audience possible. But I really hope there's more to it than just ... this.

Scary Movie 5
Release date: April 12, 2013

Yep! It doesn't matter if there's absolutely NOTHING funny in this husk of a franchise -- they're still gonna make them, and 12 year olds are still gonna watch them. And with big name stars like Ashley Tisdale (did I spell that right?), Simon Rex (Mr. "Dirt Nasty" himself) and Charlie Sheen (RIP), it's gonna make money! Which they need, because I'm guessing the theme song to Beetlejuice isn't cheap.

The Bling Ring
Release date: June 14, 2013

I've really come around on Sofia Coppola. I actively disliked The Virgin Suicides the first time I saw it, but, after some close friends smacked me upside the head with REASON, I've come around. Since then, I've only grown to like her films more with each viewing. Lost in Translation is a masterpiece! Marie Antoinette is a delight! And I'm probably the only person here who genuinely loves Somewhere. LOVES IT (this guy). It's great! You just have to have the right frame of mind! Which is what I didn't have in 1999! Anyway, here's the teaser for her newest movie, which features my GIF of the week (note to Patrick: new feature?).

Generation Um...
Release date: May 28, 2013

Keanu Reeves! In his first starring role since Henry's Crime! What the hell is Henry's Crime? I have no idea! Also, great title! I am just kidding of course! Because that's a horrible title!

The Story of Luke
Release date: TBA

The IMDb plot summary for this movie reads: "Sheltered by his grandparents, Luke, a young man with autism, is thrust into a world that doesn't expect anything from him. But Luke is on a quest for a job and true love. And he isn't taking no for an answer." Sounds about right, except I don't want to talk about Luke. I want to talk about Seth Green, who, apparently, still acts in projects that aren't Robot Chicken. And he probably shouldn't, because he's pretty terrible in this trailer. Which isn't fair, I suppose. Because he's only reading the lines written for his character, and maybe it's the character that's garbage? But still, his PERFORMANCE. Not very good. Honestly, I never understood his success or popularity (and would probably be flabbergasted by how much money he made from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV show, the Austin Powers movies, Family Guy, etc.). Although I would like to see him reprise his role as Mick in Idle Hands. You know, guilty pleasure, and all. So I guess what I'm trying to say is: stick with cartoons. Or Star Wars fanboy projects. Because this feels weird.

InAPPropriate Comedy
Release date: March 22, 2013

It's official: THIS is the worst thing ever, right? Like, the absolute dumbest, most pandering, insulting, unfunny piece of nothing ever filmed, right? Or, OR ... is this ... brilliant? Made to look SO STUPID, but ultimately, really funny and inventive? Like, borderline genius? No? No, not that at all? The first one? Yeah, that's how I'm leaning too.


  1. Doug!
    I might be more excited to see The Bling Ring than 3/4 of the summer blockbusters this year. Sofia Copolla is great and crazy underappreciated. And Somewhere is awesome - she somehow is able to make Stephen Dorff sitting in a lobby fascinating.

    1. Some time in the future, please join me for a double-bill of The Bling Ring and Spring Breakers.

    2. Tell me about it. I'm down. Did you see Doug's GIF of the week? Talk about the face that launched 1,000 ships...

    3. Face that launched a 1,000 faps you mean!

  2. Dear Scary Movie franchise,

    I know you are profitable, but profitable doesn't always mean good, so please stop and let your creators come up with something else fresh, original and hopefully much funnier and/or scarier. I grew tired of you after about the second one.


    John, a frustrated moviegoer

    1. But John, weren't you always hoping for someone to parody Mama (a movie I forgot while I was in the theater watching it)?

    2. Haha, I don't even want to see the original, serious version of that movie, much less a parody I would likely hate of a movie I don't care about. I'll pass, thanks. :)

    3. Dare I say that #4 - the Cruise War of the Worlds/The Grudge/Million Dollar Baby/The Village/Saw mashup - had some laughs?
      Especially if you hate that version of WotW as much as I do.

  3. And in other trailer news the teaser for the Alan Partridge Movie was released.

  4. Is that Emma Watson in that GIF? She has never done anything for me...until now! Yowzers.