take a bullet for her. Because life is precious. And God, and the Bible. But enough about me and my FAMILY OF THREE ... trailerz wait for no baby! Except for last week! Sorry about that!
Release date: April 21, 2013 (a Sunday? Weird)
Patrick shared this trailer with me yesterday (I'm a little out of the loop), and my first thought after watching it was, "Oh great -- I think this is garbage, but Patrick, because he's in L-O-V-E with Zoë Bell, will be blinded by her beauty!" Then he sent a follow-up email stating: "Looks horrible! 'I WANT SABRINAAAAAA!' Yes, prisoner girl. So do I." PHEW! For better Bell action, check out this behind-the-scenes clip of her doubling Uma Thurman in a Kill Bill fight sequence.
Only God Forgives
Release date: July 19, 2013
This is a red band trailer (for language? Violence? It's pretty tame) so, you know. Be careful out there. The new movie from director Nicolas Winding Refn (he of Drive fame) stars Ryan Gosling (he of Young Hercules fame), and, what can I say? It looks pretty F-ing incredible. I don't often blindly praise previews (cowardly, sarcastic put-downs is more my thing), but there's nothing about this that doesn't look awesome. If I have ONE criticism, it's this: will the now-popular Gosling -- who is inarguably attractive and charismatic and wonderful to behold -- ever play a character who's not a total badass? Not really a complaint, just an observation.
A Single Shot
Release date: TBA
Sure, Ryan Gosling gets all the hype (and the ladies [and most men]), but is there a better actor working today than Sam Rockwell? HOWEVER, if I didn't know better, I'd swear this was a trailer for a foreign film, what with the near-complete lack of dialogue, random assortment of juxtaposing shots and stark imagery. Looks good, is what I'm saying! Or, maybe I'm just trained to think it looks good because it has the right pacing, mood, overlaid text full of fawning reviews by erudite critics, festival laurels and SAM ROCKWELL'S FACE.
Grown Ups 2
Release date: July 12, 2013
No comment. Wait, one comment: STOP IT. Anyone else have anything to add? #dodougsjobforhim
Release date: May 31, 2013
I'm surprised that a group of strangers was able to penetrate House Lannister. Pretty interesting concept (reminds me of "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson), which, in my humble opinion (IMHO?) goes off the rails a bit when it becomes a neo-horror movie (shades of Sinister?). But, I hope I'm wrong, because, like I said, I think this is a cool idea for a film. I'm also glad to see that Ethan Hawke -- once one of the biggest up-and-coming names in Hollywood -- has really found his niche in movies like this (e.g., Daybreakers, Richard Linklater's Before series, etc.).
Pineapple Express 2
Release date: Never!
April Fool's! Four days late! Sorry!
Release date: Aug. 2, 2013
OK, I'll bite -- this looks like a lot of fun! Two of the most charismatic actors around (along with the always foxy Paula Patton) in a buddy cop/heist dramedy. The plot synopsis courtesy of IMDb: "A DEA Agent and an undercover Naval Intelligence Officer who have been tasked with investigating one another find they have been set up by the mob -- the very organization the two men believe they have been stealing money from." ZOINKS! I feel like they don't make them like this anymore, and that's a shame.
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
Release date: Aug. 16, 2013
Did you hear the news that Jack the Giant Slayer could lose up to $140 million for its studios? I didn't see it (I thought it looked pretty ugly), and I'm assuming most of you didn't either (if the box office is to be believed). Which brings me to next question: did anyone see Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief? No? No one? Me neither, and I'm guessing I won't see its sequel either. NEXT!
Not Another Not Another Movie
Release date: TBA
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Release date: June 17, 1970
RIP Roger Ebert.