Monday, May 27, 2013

F This Movie! - Fast & Furious 6

All roads lead to Patrick and Doug.



Download this episode here. (39.9 MB)

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Also discussed this episode: Chernobyl Diaries (2012); Star Trek Into Darkness (2013); The Hangover Part III (2013)

38 comments:

  1. Urgh, Hangover 3. What a terrible waste of time that was. If Patrick hasn’t pursuaded you yet and you are on the fence about whether to see this movie, let we outline their animal scenes to convince you.
    The Giraffe scene isnt a trailer bait and switch, misdirection or last minute cut, it’s a full blown, bloody stump, head through a windshield decapatation, which we see all of. Bradley Coopers' response to hearing about this "It’s a fucking giraffe, who the fuck cares!".
    A chicken is smothered to death while the "protagonists" all sit around and watch with no expression on their faces. 
    Dogs are drugged with  suggestion that they will be killed, and when a character finally voices a half hearted objection to killing these animals the response he gets is "What are you? P.E.T.A.? Don’t be such a pussy!" and then the dogs a subsequently killed (thankfully this time off camera).
    All of these are presented as jokes. JOKES! Fuck this world. Never felt such strong negative feelings towarda a movie before. F! This Movie!
    Worst part of it. There was a guy in front of me at the cinema that was losing his shit over it. Couldn’t stop laughing.

    Hate, vile hate. Fuck you Hangover people.

    On a more pleasant note im up to Fast and Furious (4) looking forward to 5 in the next day or two then I'll be going to see 6 this weekend hopefully. Is been ... fun.

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    1. Don't lose heart. Fast & Furious is the weakest in the series, but Fast Five makes up for it.

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    2. Oh no. I kinda meant that sincerely. They are fun movies, just not much more to say than that. I actually really liked the street racing in 4, how they didn't close off the roads. Made it different enough. But the cave/tunnel stuff was a bit weak. Too much like watching a movie sequence in a video game, unlike 2 which was like a movie of a video game (GTA The Movie would be 2F2F). Latter good, former bad

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    3. If I understand correctly, "F! This Movie!" is for movies you love, and "F This Movie!" is for movies you hate.

      Or maybe it's the other way around in Australia? :)

      I started thinking that just MAYBE Hangover 3 might surprise us, but from Patrick's review and now yours, it seems pretty clear that ain't happenin. Oh well, I never even saw the first sequel.

      Hoping to see Furious 6 tonight and looking forward to the rest of the podcast!

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    4. I'm no animal rights activist, necessarily, but I do have a heart, and those animal moments you mentioned sound like some of the worst, most distasteful movie moments I've ever heard, Brad. Shame on you, The Hangover!

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    5. That is the right reaction John.

      Sol, my above f this movie is meant to be which ever one means "Fuck this stupid movie up is stupid fucking ass". I'll get the hang of the lingo eventually.

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  2. I agree with Patrick that Fast & Furious 6 for being one of the stupidest movies of all time that actually does a good job of getting all the little details right. There is a big difference between a good stupid movie & bad stupid movie. The Fast & Furious franchise is just as ridiculous or makes as much sense as the Transformers franchise but the TF have such unlikable characters, horrible humor, lousy dialogue & action scenes where you can’t tell what the hell is going on, that they come off as “bad stupid”. Look at how obnoxious Tyrese comes off in the TF movies, while he’s very funny & self-deprecating in the F&F 2, 5, & 6. I hate Ludicris in everything & even he comes off as funny and likable in the series.

    The old school pro wrestling fan in me got a big kick out of the Rock & Vin Diesel doing their version of The Road Warriors “Doomsday Device” finisher on the monster henchman. It probably got the 2nd loudest cheer from the theater crowd I was with. The “leap” (I don’t want to spoil it) got the #1 reaction.

    As for Gina Carrano, her line readings were bad, & maybe there was a reason why Soderbergh altered her voice for Haywire. At least she was used for her strengths & her fight scenes did deliver. The F&F series know what to give their audiences.

    I’ll have to see F&F6 again to see if it’s better than Fast Five. Six has bigger action scenes & ambition, but Fast Five appeals to be more for some reason.

    Forget about money vs. family as the real message of Fast & Furious 6 is this. Remember kids, it doesn’t matter if it’s the USA or the UK, RICH WHITE PEOPLE ARE RACIST!

    One more thing: I have zero interest in World War Z. If you’re going to do CGI zombies, then you better have top notch realistic CGI. It basically the same mistake that Will Smith’s I Am Legend did with using CGI for the “Zompires” then going with practical makeup effects.

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    1. That rich white guy scene was so bad. I wish it would have been cut. I know this will probably get some laughs, but I expect more from these movies than that.

      Oh, man, that Road Warriors move. A great moment in a movie that's full of them.

      I still think Fast Five works better as a movie, but Furious Six has way more moments of awesomeness.

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  3. @Brad and John - I completely agree with you about the animal cruelty aspects in Hangover III. I think comedians and horror filmmakers run into this a lot. They're so wrapped up with pushing boundaries or shocking you that they become oblivious to what it's like as an audience member to watch these things happen.

    The stuff in the Hangover III though is worse than that of horror movies because it's in a mainstream comedy where you don't expect 'horror' things to happen. The cavalier attitude that Todd Phillips has with the animal material is disturbing and same with Warner Bros for not cutting those parts out of the movie. Surely, they saw it before the movie was released. Also, Ken Jeong should have known better than to say that PETA line and same with Bradley Cooper for his 'f giraffe' comment. Just because it's written doesn't mean they have to say it. Did everyone on the set of that movie lose their minds?

    I'm not an animal activist either.

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    1. I might have to do the unthinkable and jump to The Hangover Part III's defense here. HUMAN deaths are played for laughs all of the time aren't they? You guys a bunch of giraffe-lovers here or what?

      I have a feeling that the only reason these scenes come off so badly is because the movie itself is so not-funny. If you were actually caught up in the movie's comedic spirit a giraffe getting lethally clotheslined (sorta like the first teen that gets impaled on a tree in the hilarious Tucker and Dale Vs. Evil) might have been accepted as being gross-out funny. Instead, because the movie is so ambiguous about what kind of movie it's supposed to be, it comes off as a "horror" thing.

      So I guess I'm not defending The Hangover Part III so much as I'm defending comedy and the idea that killing animals should not necessarily be considered off-limits.

      I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I hate animals?

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    2. No, I think that's a fair point. It really is just about context. Because there are so few "jokes" in the movie, and because three of the 10 "jokes" involve animal murder, it comes off as needlessly cruel and hateful. Add to that the characters' reactions (pretty much "Fuck you, it's just an animal") and there's an overall tone that's icky.

      I can't think of an instance where killing an animal was funny in a movie (I'm sure there are some), but I'm with you -- NOTHING should be off limits, as long as it's done right.

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    3. Well, I haven't seen Operation: Dumbo Drop but I've always assumed it's a comedy about unconventional warfare in Vietnam.

      No, I can't think of a funny animal-killing in a movie either - comedy's "final frontier" perhaps? Let's give Todd "Captain Kirk" Phillips the credit he deserves! By making animal-killing 50% of the comedy in his comedic film, he was boldy attempting to go where no comedy has gone before. Now that he's failed I'm going to launch a Kickstarter campaign for my new movie LOL: They're Just Fucking Animals. I'll let you know how it goes.

      Alright, fuck Hangover III, it's clearly THE WORST, I'll be back to discuss Furious 6 later!

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    4. Doug, stop calling Patrick names.

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    5. The closest I come to an animal activist is that they don't have to suffer before they become food. And I don't eat veal or lamb because there's enough food out there that I don't have to rob a cradle...

      I hope the Humane Society and PETA get so far up the butts of the studio that released this film they can feel it in the back of their throats.

      Because that's one thing I think gets forgotten sometimes. Yeah, they filmed it and the actor(s) went along with it...but the studio let it be released with these scenes. They're just as much to blame.

      Now I have to try to remember which beer company Jeong just made a commercial for and perhaps write them a letter.

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    6. I agree that nothing should be off limits for comedy. The thing that really stood out to me here was that the over the top, unnecessary graphic giraffe decapitation happens in the first 5 minutes. So this is the opening big "gag" that sets the tone for the rest of the movie. The mood this moment got me into was of shock and disgust which I then carried with me through out the rest of the movie. Not the best mindset a movie should be trying to instill in their audience.

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    7. A Fish Called Wanda. That's the only movie I can think of where straight-up animal murder was genuinely funny.

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    8. Nice! Yes. Good call. Because that was about Michael Palin's horrified reaction (if I'm remembering correctly). The joke was not "Ha, a stupid animal is dead."

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    9. This whole conversation made me think of A Fish Called Wanda, as well. I agree that it's different in that movie. The fact that an animal died was not what made that funny or what we were supposed to laugh at, I feel.

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    10. For instance, you can see here that Palin is clearly broken up over the dogs' deaths each time. It's not like he was saying or thinking "whatever, it's just an animal." Big difference, if you ask me.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qguwpiDbMws

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  4. Leave it to Hangover III to be the line where I decided that I'm not in favor of blanket first amendment rights. Except for blankets - they can say whatever they want.

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  5. In space no one can hear your drift - Fast and Furious 9 tagline

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  6. The odd thing is, I was just reading about Chernobyl tourism last night. There are still some residents of the city of Chernobyl and there is a certain amount of tourism of the Chernobyl zone in the past few years (especially to the abandoned city of Pripyat, which if you've played Call of Duty is the abandoned city with the Ferris wheel, and it's where Chernobyl Diaries is set). Wouldn't be my first choice of a vacation but I can see the appeal of visiting there. A guide accompanies you to make sure you don't take anything or vandalize it, as well as making sure you don't enter the buildings (which 27 years on are starting to fall down).

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  7. Anyone on here good at Photoshop? One of us should create a Fast and Furious sequel poster set in space for Patrick.

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  8. Fast and Furious 11 quote from the future Vin Diesel-"The things I am going to do for my space colony"

    As for funny animal deaths in movies I think I got a good one- the horse in Animal House that one was hysterical, and also they actually didn't shoot the horse. Overall though yeah animal deaths almost always equal tearjerker time.

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    1. They also showed remorse (yeah, quite a bit was because they'd be in trouble but...) over the horse dying. Not "Fuck it, it's just an animal."

      You know, one of the first signs of sociopathic behavior is animal abuse. I wonder what the director and cast would say to having mental evaluations?

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  9. boondock saints when the cat blows up.

    Have not seen hangover III...
    it might be that people here are a little too extreme with the animal activist attitude. it is just a movie im sure they did not slam a giraffe into a car.

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  10. First things first - one of the brilliant comments I was going to leave was about how the "Rich Racist White Guy" scene was SO Michael Bay. Bearded minds think alike...

    So yeah, just watched the movie tonight and just finished the podcast. I wish I could have just been there for your discussion because I was just giddily thinking I KNOW to everything you were saying about it. Loved THE HELL out of it. Patrick, I am forever in your debt for recommending this franchise to me. Like you say, they just know what they're doing somehow. I walk out of Star Trek NO COLON Into Darkness feeling like my intelligence has been mildly insulted. I walk out of Furious 6, one of the dumbest things ever, and I just feel so pumped and so happy and I just want to watch them all over again.

    Some random thoughts in no particular order:

    It's funny you guys mentioned the diverse theatre - I definitely noticed the same thing too. I'm going to give the movie +1 for that cuz there's just something cool about a movie that brings so many different types of people together. Also, I must've been with a smarter (*cough*Canadian*cough*) crowd than you - there wasn't a lot of laughter at the dumb jokes and then we ALL laughed at the Diesel-Rodriguez rescue.

    And damn it, I was just thinking about how much I liked that Gisele character (for her PERSONALITY) and then 15 minutes later she's dead. And it sucks that Han is dead too - fingers crossed for another bout of amnesia. And why the hell wouldn't Lucas Black come back for FF7 - he doesn't seem too busy.

    Poor Jordana Brewster does look like a gross skeleton. She should drink more pop - which is what Canadians call carbonated corn syrup beverages just like you Chicagogodancers.

    Also, I was fortunate not to have really seen, or at least retained, the trailers for this as every set piece was a surprise for me. And oh man, were they great.

    Anyway, I could go on and on - movie was great, podcast was great, I'm great - thanks guys!

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    1. Cool! So glad you like it AND the entire series. The movie is impossibly entertaining.

      Gisele's personality is the same reason I like Gina Carano.

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    2. Oh yeah, forgot to touch on Gina Carano (snicker) - sigh, I really want to like her, Patrick, she is such a gorgeous She-Hulk and kicks ass and everything but, omg she can't read a line to save her life and it diminishes my crush. Even the way she moves around (when not kicking ass) looks forced somehow. Goddamn I hope she gets better.

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    3. Yes. Her acting in Haywire didn't really bother me, but it turns out that whoever dubbed her voice deserves the credit. She is shockingly bad in F&F 6 whenever she speaks. I will continue to love her.

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    4. I had no idea Canadians called it pop. And that's why a.) I love Canada, and b.) I love you.

      I bet you're so happy that POP is my takeaway from your eight paragraph response to our podcast, eh?

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    5. Heheh - no worries Doug, I often latch on to the most insignificant part of something someone says and run with it - it's like a weird sort of focused ADD. Anyway, keep that "soda/pop" thing to yourself - it's how we covertly identify Americans (think 3-fingers scene from Inglourious Basterds) and now that you know, you'll pretty much be able to slip past our defenses and steal our beavers at will.

      Confession: I have not yet seen Haywire - I know - totally non, non, non, non, NON-Haywire of me.

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  11. My important thoughts about Furious 6:

    I'm the same as Patrick and Doug in that I react to awesome/ridiculous scenes by laughing. So I laughed a LOT during this movie.
    An then when the Vin-Diesel-catches-Michelle-Rodriguez-in-mid-air thing happened I fell off my chair. Not figuratively. My body literally gave up and I rolled onto the theatre floor. It was worth it.

    For about two years now I've stopped watching trailers and this episode really vindicated that for me. I felt that -something- was coming after the tank set piece, but did NOT expect the team to take down a HUGE FUCKING PLANE. So I'm glad I didn't see the trailer first and thankful that this episode really justified that for me.

    Apart from looking like a skeleton, I felt bad for Jordana Brewster cause her character was so useless and weak. It's sad that even in a movie with so many ass kicking women, there has to be one that's helpless and gets kidnapped.

    Also, I just discovered THIS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpmncFKiXy0
    It's a short movie made for the Fast & Furious dvd WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY VIN DIESEL. It reveals so much about him.

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    1. That short film is included as a bonus feature on the Fast & Furious (part 4) Blu-ray. YIKES. He is all in on this thing. Where does Vin Diesel end and ART BEGIN?? I can no longer tell.

      Jordana Brewster's skeleton has been pretty marginalized since the first movie. Even in Fast Five, she mostly shouted out orders from a computer. Maybe they don't want to put her in an action scene for fear that her brittle frame would shatter.

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    2. Fun fact: Jordana Brewster has "Avian Bone Syndrome."

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  12. I just watched and loved Hangover III. It's a completely unhinged movie in much the same way as the Fast and Furious series is - it exists in its own cuckoo universe in which two relatively well-adjusted contemporary men encounter and must contend with a lunatic force of nature that tests their very sanity. The fundamental joke is that everything that happens in this movie (and let's by all means forget about Part II) happens because Stu caved in to Phil's pressure to irresponsibly splurge on the penthouse suite at Caesar's Palace, for no other reason than to have a wild, good time and not think about all the obligations of modern society for a few hours. The series asks us if men - or at least some men, namely Phil and Stu - are simply too unevolved as primates to permanently handle the pressures of conforming to the rules of a civilized modern society. Alan could never handle it all, and the tension throughout the series is that his presence and influence might just ruin them, too.

    And I know this is a late rebuttal, but Brad L is objectively wrong in several of his statements. When Chow suffocates his chicken, the others are horrified, and the joke of that scene is that they can't believe what cruel and savage fate led them to depend on this second lunatic's help for their friend Doug's survival. And I laughed, not because the of the fictional chicken death, but because of said characters' discomfort, and I'm not sorry for laughing. The dog drugging/deaths aren't played for laughs either - Stu's objection to killing them is whole-hearted, not half-hearted, and his successful effort to peacefully drug them is not any kind of gag. When we later learn they've been killed, the dramatic function of that moment is to heighten the tension of the face-off with the John Goodman character, not to take any kind of pleasure in innocent animals being killed. It isn't sadistic; it's intentionally absurd.

    As for the giraffe gag, it serves several purposes - it sets a tone of dangerous ridiculousness, it establishes the stakes of just how far gone Alan has become, and it throw the pitch for Phil's "so he killed a giraffe, who gives a fuck?" line. That last part is important because we're supposed to laugh at, and even worry a bit over, Phil for his immaturity - remember, his introduction in the first movie was completely unjustified stealing from his own students. Stu is the one who always needs to loosen up a bit, but Phil is the one who always seems a little too loose, and the comedy from his character derives from our fear that he might at some point go over the cliff - as in the scene in this third film, where he actually gets into the thought of Alan photographing him dangling off the side of the hotel.

    Humor is of course wildly subjective, and these movies (by which I mean the first and third) aren't for everyone, but I'm glad they exist. In a culture in which almost every movie exists in large part to glorify and enforce the boundaries set by contemporary society, these two flicks, in their own weird and loopy way, dare to try something different. I personally laughed many times during Hangover III... And as for the animal stuff, let he who has never laughed when Indiana Jones just grimaces and outright guns down marketplace swordsman down throw the first stone.

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  13. This Formula 6 racing flick's tire-spinning in a vacuum: the plausible's passed early on, the ludicrous is smoked down the stretch, and any lingering basic law of action-film gravitas is shredded by the finish line.

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