Thursday, June 27, 2013

Junesploitation Day 27: Monsters!

They came to Earth to feed on human flesh!

Junesploitation is almost over, but not before some big ass monsters have had their say!

15 comments:

  1. Hey! I own Night of the Lepus on MGM MOD disc; the movie is even better than the trailer promises! "Oh my God, these things are multiplying like... like... rabbits."

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  2. War of the Gargantuas (1966)

    I should say up front - I love Japanese monster movies. So perhaps you should use the "Adam Riske demerit system" and adjust your expectations accordingly. The movie features a big green monster (who looks like the Jolly Green Giant after a straight year of heavy meth use) feasting on people like they're green peas. The movie gains unexpected depth with the appearance of the Green Meanie's big brown brother. "Brownie" tries to both protect Greenie and keep him from fucking shit up, which goes about as well as you'd expect. This movie will resonate for anyone who has felt responsible for an asshole relative. Russ Tamblyn is indeed in this movie, and could not look more disinterested if he tried. There's more I'd like to say, but the woooooooooords get stuck in my throat...

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  3. Pulgasari (1985)

    A North Korean giant monster movie produced by Kim Jong-il (yes that Kim Jong-il) and directed by abducted South Korean director Shin Sang-ok. I have been wanting to see this movie for some time and now the stars have aligned thanks to Junesploitation and Youtube.

    Taking place in ancient Korea the film is essentially about a metal munching Godzilla-like monster (as he feeds on metal he grows larger and stronger) who helps a peasant rebellion overthrown an evil tyrannical king. Pulgasari will also help fell trees and gather wood.

    This film is ridiculous, campy, and over-the-top in every way. I remember a film once being discussed during an F This Movie podcast as if aliens created it based upon their interpretation/understanding of human culture and filmmaking. While I don’t remember the film being discussed that day that description would aptly fit Pulgasari. Not only is the film itself crazy but more so the real-life backstory for the films creation. Abducted directors and actors forced to make films by the North Korean government; there is a great “making-of” documentary in there.

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  4. Frankenstein Conquers the World (1965)

    I chose Frankenstein Conquers the World for Monsters day because, A) its called Frankenstein. Conquers. The. World. and B)...well there isnt a B because the A was so great. (arigato Mr Mayall).

    So, during WWII the heart of Frankenstein's Monster is captured and taken to Hiroshima, because its immortal, then the bomb gets dropped, something, something, a kid is seen talking around the site a few days later, something something, 15 years later we have a constantly growing immortal Frankenstein's monster (referred to as Frankenstein), who is hunted by the army and then fights a random fire breathing monster that appears.

    Crazy! A slower build up than I was expecting, and the monster fight was saved just for the very end, but it was a good intro into Kaiju movies for me. Not much of a winner in its own right but enough silly fun that Im prepared to search the genre a but more.

    Gatewaysploitation

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    1. Typos. Jeez. Proof reading is for chumps.

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  5. Guillermo Del Toro's MIMIC: THE DIRECTOR'S CUT (1997/2011) on Blu-ray for the first time.

    ACAROPHOBIASPLOITATION! I'm not sure Del Toro's original vision for this $25 million 'B' movie (as both seen and described in his director's cut) was that good or interesting to begin with. The giant bug creatures are meant to be be a cross between a human and a poe'd cockroach ("Jurassic Park" meets "Aliens" set in Gotham's sewers) but the creatures behave more like movie psychos, killing some characters viciously and letting others live at the whim of the script. Between Josh Brolin's laughable CDC Police tough guy act, the trying-too-hard bad soundtrack, the autistic kid, the dodgy CGI, the guy from "Roc" doing the supporting black character routine and Mira Sorvino/Jeremy Northam being weak audience surrogates/leads "Mimic" never had a chance to live up to its potential even before the notorious meddling by the Weinsteins. Only Giancarlo Giannini, F. Murray Abraham (cameo), the design of the creatures and Del Toro's stylish touches (the movie looks gorgeous) lift "Mimic" from forgettable to passable. Great bonus features on the Blu-ray though, in which no punches are pulled and Guillermo shits on the Weinsteins as much as lawyers will allow him to.

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  6. Van Helsing (2004)

    I risk the wrath of JB, but this is one of my greatest guilty pleasures. There's not much I can say for it, not even that I feel its heart is in the right place. It's ridiculous, overacted, and overwrought with CG (my favorite is the commentary track where Stephen Sommers has to explain to us where the real ends and the digital begins like we couldn't tell). I suppose it just takes me back to a simpler time when I was so excited for it to come out, and expected it to be a loving tribute (you remember, right? When I was a middle school aged jackass who only bought full frame DVDs?). You can't really invest yourself in any bit of it, but it's still one of my favorite mindless action flicks. And dare I say I found A LINE this viewing that I think is actually pretty spectacular?

    VELCON: I would rather die than help you!
    DRACULA: Don't be boring. Everyone who says that dies.

    Maybe it's just me.

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  7. BUG BUSTER. Katherine Heigl and Randy Quaid (together at last?) are in a small town overrun with killer insects – basically a butt-pants remake of ARACHNOPHOBIA with Quaid in the John Goodman role. It’s a horror-comedy with the “comedy” half sputtering and meekly dying on screen. The movie tries to convince me it’s clever by constantly mentioning other horror movies. When there’s a scene reminiscent of JAWS, for example, the character just have to have a line where they say, “This is just like JAWS.” That’s the only type of joke the movie makes, and it gets tired after a while. Speaking of tired, James Doohan is in this, and the poor guy looks really old and really, really worn down. I wanted to tell him, “It’s OK, you can go take a nap if you want.” (SoVeryTiredsploitation!) Skip this crap and just watch ARACHNOPHOBIA again.

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  8. Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

    I love the Universal Monsters, and I love Abbott & Costello, so for me this was pretty much a slam dunk. I can imagine that a lot of monster fans don't like it because it trivializes the creatures, but it's funny, charming, and most importantly during a month like Junesploitation, SHORT. It's great to see Lugosi and Chaney Jr poke fun at their images, and it's gratifying that the movie plays the monsters fairly straight, they're never portrayed as buffoons, it's only Abbott & Costello that go for the laughs. Fun stuff.

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  9. Godzilla 1985 (1985)

    Maybe it's because we've been at this for 27 days. Maybe it's because this movie is garbage. This one was rough.

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    1. Scary Movie Month II: Exploitation Boogaloo! :-)

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  10. Godzilla Against Mechagodzilla (2002)

    The big green lizard is back and the Japanese army is ready this time. When they are faced with monsters they created monsters.. yep this is basically a warm up for Pacific Rim and I had more fun with it that I expected. Lots of miniatures, men in Godzilla suits, and one of my fav lines in a Junesploitation film this month "They can bring back Godzilla why can't they bring back my mom" Also SPOILERS AHEAD the end of this movie they don't even defeat Godzilla they basically just tire him out and he trots off as though it's the end of the business day like the Wile E Coyote and Sheepdog Warner Bros Cartoons "Well see you tomorrow Godzilla" "Have a nice night Mechagodzilla." Fun lizardsploitation

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  11. The Mighty Peking Man (1977)

    I thought this was going to be a simple retelling of King Kong in the style of Godzilla - and sometimes it is (especially the last third) - but it's mostly a whole lot weirder than that.

    I resisted the temptation to RE-watch a movie I really like (The Host) for this and I'm glad I did - it was surprisingly exploitation-y for a monster movie.

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  12. The Thing (1982)

    I'm super tired so all I'm going to say is parts of this were very icky ...

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  13. I watched the Gamera Movies, but I watched the MST3k Versions. I cheated, I totally cheated, but I also totally enjoyed them.

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