Saturday, February 14, 2015

What is the Sexiest Movie Ever Made?

Happy Valentine's Day! Let's get freaky.

With Valentine's Day taking place today and 50 Shades of Grey peeling money away from sweaty-palmed suburban moms nationwide, it seems like as good a time as any to talk about sex in the movies. What's your pick for the sexiest movie of all time? Is it just one scene that achieves that status, or is it more the whole movie?

And in case you're thinking about posting an hilarious "joke" response, I'll save you the trouble:
a) A movie that is clearly not sexy.
b) A pornographic movie.

Got that out of the way! Now, let's hear your real answers and then all take a cold shower.

30 comments:

  1. Body Heat is mine. That movie is dripping with sweat and sexuality in every scene and the whole thing is about the tension and heat building and building between Kathleen Turner and William Hurt until it explodes. Very hot stuff. Love that movie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a big #MovieShame hole in my life. Gotta catch up with it at some point. I bought the DVD at a closing Hollywood Video (RIP) years ago and still haven't watched it.

      Delete
    2. Yea you should totally watch it. It's like a much sexier version of Double Indemnity if you like those types of noir movies where a femme fatale just trys to ruin a dudes life with a scheming plot lol

      Delete
  2. Wow, a nipple! F This Movie's finally living up to its name. :-)

    This is one of the aspects of his personality that I always admired about Roger Ebert, his acknowledgement that eroticism and being sexually aroused were normal things we wanted in movies that should be championed and celebrated (and criticized when it failed, like he and Siskel did when the then-hyped 1989 Zalman King flick "Wild Orchid" came out). My personal favorites:

    --Blue is the Warmest Color (2013): seems obvious, but the erotic as hell sexual scenes are the middle part of a cinematic sandwich in which character development and the follow-up to the relationship running its course (both given ample time to breath by the nearly three hour running time) provide a full cinematic course. Come for the sex, enjoy hanging out with Adèle and Emma to feel like you've known them all your life.

    --Arabian Nights (1974): the third chapter in Pier Paolo Pasolini's 'Trilogy of Life' is the one that comes the closest to being humanistic and in love with its characters (while the previous ones were content with making most of them targets of ridicule),. Thus its numerous sex scenes feel joyful and even make you feel good and/or sorry for its characters as they encounter happiness and/or obstacles to achieving it.

    -- Sister My Sister (1994): an English movie about notorious real-life French maids in the 1930's that scandalized the nation. Best cinematic depiction I've seen of sexual repression gradually turning people batty, followed by an even stronger descent into madness after the forbidden sexual affair unleashes the equivalence of folie a deux (with minimal-to-no nudity).

    --A Teacher (2013): Everything "The Boy Next Door" should have been but wasn't, done more tastefully and on a shoestring budget. Short too (75 min.) and streaming on Amazon.

    -- Bound (1995): Hard to believe the Wachowski siblings behind $100+ million movies broke into the industry with a small little crime noir that knew how to push the sexual buttons of most men (and a few women) by having Gina Gershon and Jennifer Tilly (and/or their doubles) doing it. Great little flick, and even better lesbian sex scene.

    --Empire of Passion (1978): While Nagisa Ôshima's 1976 "In The Realm of the Senses" (the "Nymphomaniac" of 70's arthouse cinema) did such a good job depicting sexual debasement it effectively neutered its own sexuality, Ôshima's follow-up ("The Postman Always Rings Twice" with ghosts in feudal Japan) is a more balanced mix of eroticism, horror and the follow-up guilt that catches up with people who murder for a forbidden passion. An underrated gem that mixes genre tropes to great effect, and is as erotic as hell when they're doing as it is bloody when the truth catches up with Tojoyi and Seki.

    There must be others, but I can't think of them and that cold shower is shouting my name. I might be back. ;-P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. J.M... interesting... Sister my sister and Passolini? You wanna tell us something? Empire of passion does sound like a dynamic watch though so might watch it.

      Delete
    2. Hey, I held back! I almost included Roeg's "Bad Timing," Sjöman's "I Am Yellow/Blue" and Léa Pool's "Lost and Delirious" (a great prospect for your LBGT viewing Gabby, check it out) but I held back. Cut me some slack, Jack. ;-)

      Delete
    3. Haha don't hold back! I own Lost and Delirious, Peccadillo Puctures are great.

      Delete
  3. I'm not sure what this says about me, but all the stuff between Diane Lane and Olivier Martinez in Unfaithful gave me the vapors.

    For me, the sexiest thing is banter. Bogie and Bacall in anything (but particularly The Big Sleep) are a good example of the kind of thing that revs my motor, so to speak. That kind of interplay is way sexier to me than graphic sex scenes.

    That being said, the lingering topless shot of Adrienne Barbeau in the international cut of Swamp Thing changed my life forever, so I'm also completely full of shit. Happy Valentine's Day everybody!

    ReplyDelete
  4. For me, Out of Sight was really sexy but it gave me blue balls. Speaking of blue, Blue is the Warmest Color is pretty sexy too. However, my #1 sexiest movie has got to be the second half of Mulholland Drive. Man, oh man. I saw that for the first time in college (at the campus art house theater) and remember walking back to my frat house thinking "man, I'm horny right now". Luckily there was a party going on that night :-) He shoots, he scores.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Man, this is a tough question. To me, "sexy" doesn't mean sex scenes or an erotic movie necessarily. I feel that the score/soundtrack/sound design, atmosphere and palate of a film can make it super sexy. More recently, I think the film "Amer" is incredibly sexy based on the sound design, colors and the way the film is cut. Something like Goddard's "Breathless" is so "cool" and Jean Seberg is so cute and lovely that it feels sexy to me. "Last Year at Marienbad" as well because of lush cinematography and gorgeous black and white. The beautiful Delphine Seyrig doesn't hurt either. As I write this I realize that I just mentioned three French films unintentionally; just an interesting observation. A few others that come to mind are "Lost Highway", "Stealing Beauty" and "Malena" (I mean c'mon, I gotta include a Bellucci film).

    What should have been the ultimate sexy movie was "Aria". With those directors and that cast (even the smaller names) this should have been a home run. Somehow - the film is boring as hell and doesn't feel sexy or erotic at all.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Barbarella is more camp than sexy, but thirty year old Jane Fonda is all kitten, and the excessive machine is a pretty thinly veiled metaphor.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "9 1/2 Weeks". Everything in this flick between Kim Basinger eating various stuff while blindfolded to her and Mickey Rourke having their rendezvous in the rain, gets me all hot and bothered up whenever something like that happens to me in real life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, for some of us, having to look at Mickey Rourke would ruin one's appetite for anything....

      Delete
  8. I'm gonna choose scenes, I over used the pause button for Demi Moore in Striptease, and also for Cybil Danning in The Howling 2, you all know the scene. It still gives me hot sweats, Nurse 3d is a very sexy movie, Sucker punch? and maybe Freddys revenge if your into that type of thing,

    The funniest thing is the movie they want us all to think is the sexiest none us us will mention, hint, its playing at the cinemas now, dont watch this cynical grey movie ;)

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Wild Things" is pretty steamy, though I haven't seen it since the 8th grade. Oddly enough, Patrick, it was your very own father who recommended it to me!

    But as for the older me, Scarlett Johansson's nude scene in "Under the Skin" is the essence of sexy. The way it's paced, the lighting, her subtle movements... Doesn't get any better than that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Only ones that come to mind is the swimming pool scene in "Black Widow" ('87), parts of "Dirty Dancing" and the whole movie "Secretary"

    Because we're talking sex....not romance?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Interesting pattern emerging here, I am going to try and suggest everyone who put lesbian scenes please watch The Celluloid closet, then tweet me your reactions and honest opinions on why you put those. I am not accusing anyone, I genuinely want to start discussion :) www.outsidetheframe.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, I saw Alain Guiraudie's "Stranger by the Lake" in theaters last year and enjoyed it as much as Andrew Haigh's "Weekend" (2011) when it was streaming a while back. I've done my part supporting the boys, but as a heterosexual male I can understand why so many (presumably hetero) readers of F This Movie also gravitate toward lesbian sex films for their personal favorites. It's like a certain brand of American chewing bubblegum says: double the pleasure, double the fun. :-) "Celluloid Closet" is awesome, one of the most illuminating and eye-opening documentaries about Hollywood ever made.

      Delete
  12. Instead of going for an all-time selection im just picking from 2014. Personally i found the film Venus in Fur incredibly sexy. I think JB posted saying what he found sexy was banter, i completely agree, and Venus in Fur is full of passionate, and playfully seductive banter. I also found The Guest a sexy film in a very different way. Its more of an action move that has the sex appeal of its central character.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anyone remember Madchen Amick and Spader gettin' it on in Dreamlover? Back when unrated versions meant something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 100%! She was legit! Spader got lucky with his sex scenes throughtout his career.

      Delete
  14. The piano scene in Stoker comes to mind.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Okay, bear with me...

    I'm going to say The Constant Gardener. There's not a lot about it that's particularly sexy, I grant you. However, I absolutely love the way Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz interact in it. They portray an intimacy between a married couple that feels completely authentic, and I find that incredibly sexy.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Every Xenia Onatopp scene in Goldeneye. Made a man out of me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hell Yeah. She just ouses sex. She was the same in The House on Haunted hill. Scary sexy

      Delete
  17. I remember I watched Unfaithful with my parents and had to put a pillow on my lap to hide the wood.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Olivier Martinez turned you on that much huh?

      Delete