Bella Lugosi in INVISIBLE GHOST (1941, Amazon Prime) for the first time.'Poverty Row' wannabe thriller pays Bella's bills.
QUEEN OF BLOOD (1966, Amazon Prime) for the first time.More coherent and realistic than Hooper's "Lifeforce."and/orRathbone, Saxon, Hopper vs. space Mata Hari.
ZOMBEAVERS (2014, Netflix Instant) for the first time.Someone really likes "Creepshow 2's" raft segment.
Robert Wiene's THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI (1920, Amazon Prime) for the first time.Could... these intertitles ... scroll... any... S-L-O-W-E-R...? AAARGGHHH!and/orSoundtrack by freebasing studio jazz musicians rehearsing.
The Sixth Sense (1999)A boy cries and a psychologist dies.
Chernobyl Diaries (2012)In Soviet Russia, garbage writes Oren Peli.
Maniac (2012) Neither twisted nor psychological. It's total camp.
Critters 2 (1988)Miss June is bustin' out all over.
Sleepwalkers (1992)Kitty Krause crushes Krige's cat- sensitive kitty!
The Suckling (1990)Of course abortion hangers are still usable!
Waxwork II: Lost in Time (1992)Same shit happens to same wax twice.
Contracted Haunted lesbian vaginas should not prepare food
Se7en (1995)Sounds like something Keyser Soze would do.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2Leatherface introduces marital aid to the relationship.
The Case of the Scorpion's Tail (1971) - come for mysterty, stay for the women!
The Dead Zone (1983) - walken trying to look creepy, he succeeds!
Wolf (1994) Werewolf Jack Nicholson is... just Jack Nicholson?
Santa Sangre (1989)Little boy has bad day, murders people.
KAIRO/PULSE (2001)AOL will do anything to keep subscribers.
Chillerama (2011)Lowbrow... unlike my name, which screams CLASS.
Jack Frost 2:Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (1996)A faithful adaptation to Jane Austen's novel.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)Thought provoking struggle of garbage vs recycling.
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)I left the antique store for THIS?
Psycho (1998)So bad, it'll make you question masterbation.
Dark Touch (2013) Hope child actors are in therapy now.
Killing season (2013)No horror except for Travolta`s facial hairorTen minutes slowly cawling end credits - aarghh
Copykill (1995)Not leaving the house doesn´t mean safety
Interview With the Vampire (1994)Moral of the story: Tom Cruise sucks.
Black Rock (2012)Hot, Hottie, and Hotterson battle my boner!
Girly (1970) The most polite horror movie ever made.
The Child (1977)The remake should star Lights Camera Jackson.
Christmas Evil (1980)All I Know is kill Moss Garcia.
The Unnamable II: The Statement of Randolph Carter (1993)Touching love story between man and monster.
Communion/Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)Also known as the Suddenly Susan prequel.
Dawn f the Mummy (1981)Molotov. Dynamite. It's all the same thing.
Dead Kids/Strange Behavior (1981)Rachael the Replicant dopes kids into killers.
Friday the 13th Part III (1982 Dir. Steve Miner)Is that a dog blowing a man?
Scream 2 Favourite Film nerd Dies, Not Cool Guys!
Satan's Little Helper (2004, Dir. Jeff Lieberman) 1st time viewing...Katheryn Winnick; little David Schwimmer's awkward boner!
Trilogy of Terror (1975)That Zuni doll would kick Chucky's ass.
House of the Dead (2003)Not the worst zombie movie out there.
HalloweeNight (2009) Dir. Mark PoloniaThe least sexy "sexy nurse" costume ever.
The Pact (2012)My uncle just slept on the couch.
Halloween Night (1988) Dir. Jag MundhraLasers, Music Videos, Satanic Grandpas, Pitchforks, hairdo's.
Wolfcop (2014)Exploding dicks, alcoholic werewolf, and shapeshifting dickheads.
Carnage (1984) Dir. Andy Milligan(Couldn't resist - a 7 word review ahead of it's time - the tagline for the movie)"See home appliances slice and dice...People!"
What We Do in the Shadows (2014)Made me hate Werewolves more then Cursed.
Videodrome (1983) Death to Hulu, long live new flesh!
Tremors 5: Bloodline (2015)Did somebody ass blast Jamie Kennedy's face?
Cheerleader Camp (1988)I wish that I didn't own this.
The Final Girls (2015)I always chug vodka in movie theaters.
The Stendhal SyndromeWorst Father of the Year goes to...
Subspecies (1991)What's that they say about long fingers?
Goosebumps (2015)Jack Black is back in black, Jack.
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) Alexandra makes me do MY thing, cuz.
Long Time Dead (2002)Oh...My...God...Kill these people already!!!
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)The K is silent...you stupid fuckface.
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood )1996(Hey, babe. Wanna see a Republicans dick?
Crimson Peak (2015)Hitchcock, Argento, and Bava haunt that mansion.
Scream 3 David goes Dewey over Courtney's Bad Bangs!
Crimson Peak (2015)This film could really use Vincent Price.
Crimson Peak (2015)The origin story of "Flip This House"
We Are Still Here (2015)Smoke is now forever a bit creepier.
Tales from the Dark Side: The Movie (1990)Old lady death by face fucking cat
Late Phases (2014)No Elvis? No Kennedy? They're all screwed.
Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)Fell asleep three consecutive nights - fuck this!
Murder Party (2007)Attended a murder party once. Got hammered.You wouldn't believe who I sawed there. Hooked a foxy brunette, then nailed her.My buddy, Stan, got so fucking toasted. The DJ sucked, so we axed him.Things started to die down near dawn.By night's end, we were practically dead. We also stabbed a guy to death.
Land of the Dead (2005)Cheerleader zombie is my favorite. RIP Mouse.
Knock Knock (2015)Call me crazy, but...still worth it.
The Blob (1988)Those trunk bottles would all be broken.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) - with commentaryYour dad could be a leading man.
The Fog (1980)Rusty ghost pirate weapons require tetanus shots.
The Theatre Bizarre (2011)So, was "The Theatre Unwatchable" already taken?
Bella Lugosi in INVISIBLE GHOST (1941, Amazon Prime) for the first time.
ReplyDelete'Poverty Row' wannabe thriller pays Bella's bills.
QUEEN OF BLOOD (1966, Amazon Prime) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteMore coherent and realistic than Hooper's "Lifeforce."
and/or
Rathbone, Saxon, Hopper vs. space Mata Hari.
ZOMBEAVERS (2014, Netflix Instant) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteSomeone really likes "Creepshow 2's" raft segment.
Robert Wiene's THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI (1920, Amazon Prime) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteCould... these intertitles ... scroll... any... S-L-O-W-E-R...? AAARGGHHH!
and/or
Soundtrack by freebasing studio jazz musicians rehearsing.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
ReplyDeleteA boy cries and a psychologist dies.
Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
ReplyDeleteIn Soviet Russia, garbage writes Oren Peli.
Maniac (2012)
ReplyDeleteNeither twisted nor psychological. It's total camp.
Critters 2 (1988)
ReplyDeleteMiss June is bustin' out all over.
Sleepwalkers (1992)
ReplyDeleteKitty Krause crushes Krige's cat- sensitive kitty!
The Suckling (1990)
ReplyDeleteOf course abortion hangers are still usable!
Waxwork II: Lost in Time (1992)
ReplyDeleteSame shit happens to same wax twice.
Contracted
ReplyDeleteHaunted lesbian vaginas should not prepare food
Se7en (1995)
ReplyDeleteSounds like something Keyser Soze would do.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2
ReplyDeleteLeatherface introduces marital aid to the relationship.
The Case of the Scorpion's Tail (1971) - come for mysterty, stay for the women!
ReplyDeleteThe Dead Zone (1983) - walken trying to look creepy, he succeeds!
ReplyDeleteWolf (1994)
ReplyDeleteWerewolf Jack Nicholson is... just Jack Nicholson?
Santa Sangre (1989)
ReplyDeleteLittle boy has bad day, murders people.
KAIRO/PULSE (2001)
ReplyDeleteAOL will do anything to keep subscribers.
Chillerama (2011)
ReplyDeleteLowbrow... unlike my name, which screams CLASS.
Jack Frost 2:Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (1996)
ReplyDeleteA faithful adaptation to Jane Austen's novel.
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)
ReplyDeleteThought provoking struggle of garbage vs recycling.
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
ReplyDeleteI left the antique store for THIS?
Psycho (1998)
ReplyDeleteSo bad, it'll make you question masterbation.
Psycho (1998)
ReplyDeleteSo bad, it'll make you question masterbation.
Dark Touch (2013)
ReplyDeleteHope child actors are in therapy now.
Killing season (2013)
ReplyDeleteNo horror except for Travolta`s facial hair
or
Ten minutes slowly cawling end credits - aarghh
Copykill (1995)
ReplyDeleteNot leaving the house doesn´t mean safety
Interview With the Vampire (1994)
ReplyDeleteMoral of the story: Tom Cruise sucks.
Black Rock (2012)
ReplyDeleteHot, Hottie, and Hotterson battle my boner!
Girly (1970)
ReplyDeleteThe most polite horror movie ever made.
The Child (1977)
ReplyDeleteThe remake should star Lights Camera Jackson.
Christmas Evil (1980)
ReplyDeleteAll I Know is kill Moss Garcia.
The Unnamable II: The Statement of Randolph Carter (1993)
ReplyDeleteTouching love story between man and monster.
Communion/Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)
ReplyDeleteAlso known as the Suddenly Susan prequel.
Dawn f the Mummy (1981)
ReplyDeleteMolotov. Dynamite. It's all the same thing.
Dead Kids/Strange Behavior (1981)
ReplyDeleteRachael the Replicant dopes kids into killers.
Friday the 13th Part III (1982 Dir. Steve Miner)
ReplyDeleteIs that a dog blowing a man?
Scream 2
ReplyDeleteFavourite Film nerd Dies,
Not Cool Guys!
Satan's Little Helper (2004, Dir. Jeff Lieberman) 1st time viewing...
ReplyDeleteKatheryn Winnick; little David Schwimmer's awkward boner!
Trilogy of Terror (1975)
ReplyDeleteThat Zuni doll would kick Chucky's ass.
House of the Dead (2003)
ReplyDeleteNot the worst zombie movie out there.
HalloweeNight (2009) Dir. Mark Polonia
ReplyDeleteThe least sexy "sexy nurse" costume ever.
The Pact (2012)
ReplyDeleteMy uncle just slept on the couch.
Halloween Night (1988) Dir. Jag Mundhra
ReplyDeleteLasers, Music Videos, Satanic Grandpas, Pitchforks, hairdo's.
Wolfcop (2014)
ReplyDeleteExploding dicks, alcoholic werewolf, and shapeshifting dickheads.
Carnage (1984) Dir. Andy Milligan
ReplyDelete(Couldn't resist - a 7 word review ahead of it's time - the tagline for the movie)
"See home appliances slice and dice...People!"
What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
ReplyDeleteMade me hate Werewolves more then Cursed.
Videodrome (1983)
ReplyDeleteDeath to Hulu, long live new flesh!
Tremors 5: Bloodline (2015)
ReplyDeleteDid somebody ass blast Jamie Kennedy's face?
Cheerleader Camp (1988)
ReplyDeleteI wish that I didn't own this.
The Final Girls (2015)
ReplyDeleteI always chug vodka in movie theaters.
The Stendhal Syndrome
ReplyDeleteWorst Father of the Year goes to...
Subspecies (1991)
ReplyDeleteWhat's that they say about long fingers?
Goosebumps (2015)
ReplyDeleteJack Black is back in black, Jack.
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
ReplyDeleteAlexandra makes me do MY thing, cuz.
Long Time Dead (2002)
ReplyDeleteOh...My...God...Kill these people already!!!
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
ReplyDeleteThe K is silent...you stupid fuckface.
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood )1996(
ReplyDeleteHey, babe. Wanna see a Republicans dick?
Crimson Peak (2015)
ReplyDeleteHitchcock, Argento, and Bava haunt that mansion.
Scream 3
ReplyDeleteDavid goes Dewey over Courtney's Bad Bangs!
Crimson Peak (2015)
ReplyDeleteThis film could really use Vincent Price.
Crimson Peak (2015)
ReplyDeleteThe origin story of "Flip This House"
We Are Still Here (2015)
ReplyDeleteSmoke is now forever a bit creepier.
Tales from the Dark Side: The Movie (1990)
ReplyDeleteOld lady death by face fucking cat
Late Phases (2014)
ReplyDeleteNo Elvis? No Kennedy? They're all screwed.
Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
ReplyDeleteFell asleep three consecutive nights - fuck this!
Murder Party (2007)
ReplyDeleteAttended a murder party once. Got hammered.
You wouldn't believe who I sawed there.
Hooked a foxy brunette, then nailed her.
My buddy, Stan, got so fucking toasted.
The DJ sucked, so we axed him.
Things started to die down near dawn.
By night's end, we were practically dead.
We also stabbed a guy to death.
Land of the Dead (2005)
ReplyDeleteCheerleader zombie is my favorite. RIP Mouse.
Knock Knock (2015)
ReplyDeleteCall me crazy, but...still worth it.
The Blob (1988)
ReplyDeleteThose trunk bottles would all be broken.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) - with commentary
ReplyDeleteYour dad could be a leading man.
The Fog (1980)
ReplyDeleteRusty ghost pirate weapons require tetanus shots.
The Theatre Bizarre (2011)
ReplyDeleteSo, was "The Theatre Unwatchable" already taken?