Hellraiser (1987) die. Clive BarkerAcupuncturist needs to calm the hell down.
Saw (2004)Witness Jigsaw perform elaborate Mortal Kombat fatalities.
Grace (2009)I wanna watch Carly Fiorina watch this.
Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari (1920):I know the path to cure you.
The Howling (1981)Like most things, needed more Dick Miller.
John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness (1987)Quantum physics would help launch that fucker.
Monster Squad (1987)Most adorable utterance of "chicken shit" ever.
Halloween (Original)Two cars on the road, one's Myers!
Halloween IIThat hydrotherapy tank was really the tits.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael MyersMichael does cops' daughters by the book.
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael MyersMute telepathic children make the best victims.
Carrie (1976)Spacek is strangely hot in piggy red.
The Thing (1982)Scariest Wilford Brimley performance until Hard Target
ZOMBIE HIGH (1987, Amazon Prime) for the first time.OMG! 'High School' is 'College' spelled backwards!and/orMinimum carnage, "Maximum (Patrick Bateman douchiness) Overdrive."
Tommy Lee Wallace's HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982, DVD).No Ileana Douglas ice skating? No sale!
House of the Devil The house couldn't handle one more lightbulb?
A Nightmare on Elm street (1984)Mr Wes Craven, you will be missed.
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)Pretorius acquires miniatures, Frankenstein is not impressed.
A Cold Night's Death (ABC Tuesday Night Movie of the Week, Jan. 1973) Dir. Jerrold FreedmanAtmospheric, blisteringly snowy, isolated location, nostalgia abound.
The Visit (2015)Some asshole told me the Shyamalan twist™
The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960)Google Image Christopher Lee's Sideburns in this...
Sleepaway CampShould've splurged for the ribbed, vibrating curler.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch Why's my dick covered in motor oil?
In the Mouth of Madness: Blue is Actually the Most Crazy Color
It Follows (2014)Ripoff of "Horrible Slow Murderer" from 2008.
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)At least they kept the camera still.
From Dusk Til Dawn (1996) I'm stuck between two...here they both are.A truck hauling crossbows? Only in Mexico.andSex Machine might secretly be Simon Belmont
The Prophecy (1995)The Bible, if Christopher Walken was God.
Creep (2014)Another reason not to trust Craigslist classifieds.
Saw (2004)The sequels will make more sense, right?
Discopathe (2013) - nice killscenes in dumb movie. Also: disco
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) - very ineffective anti drug commercial. Great movie.
Paranormal Activity (2007)Even demon girl likes Katie Featherston's bewbs.
Scream Dream (1989) Her name's "Michelle Shock." Best movie ever?
Saw II (2005)Imagine the needle pit is instead lollipops.
Devil (2010)Totally unrealistic. Satan always takes the stairs.
The Visit (2015)Shocking side effects of Werther's Original exposed!
The Quatermass Xperiment (1955)Shut up, alien! We are still filming!
The Blair Witch Project (1999) - 2nd viewing16 years later still a horrendous bore
The Innkeepers (2011)Cute girl, empty hotel rooms? I'm sold!
Creepshow (1982)Danson should be dancin', not Ed Harris
Scream 2 (1997) Ghostface is the Olyphant in the room!
Cabin In The Woods (2012)"I'm never gonna see a Merman. Ever."
Saw II (2005)Five more of these? I don't know...
Deathgasm (2015)Metal, metal, Kiwi, metal, gore, metal. Fun.
Creep (2015)Pete from The League turned stalker, psychotherapist.
Silence Of The Lambs (1991)Watch or you’ll get the hose again.
Bless The Child (2000) She has power over cartoon CGI rats.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)Emancipation of vampire heads from their bodies.
They Live (1988)NO INDEPENDENT THOUGHT: SLEEP CONSUME OBEY CONFORM
Possession (1981)The worst way you can cuckold someone.
The Nightmare (2015)Remember when documentaries used to be factual?
Pulse (2001)See it! Both Shudder and Riske approved.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)Saxon to the rescue! Or is he...?
Night of the living dead (1968)Romero's zombie original still the undead hordes
Friday the 13th part 2 1981 Once seen, Never forgotten, Brown Shiny knickers!
Cujo (1983)Sit, Cujo, sit -- good dog OH SHIT
American Psycho (2000, Mary Harron)City unveils new line of ALF-inspired ATMs.
Bad Milo (2013)Creator's of The Puffy Chair produce turd.
Ed Wood's Orgy of the Dead (1965) Behold, the unrelenting terror of interpretive dance!
Almost Mercy (2015)Staring Jason and a defense specialist cheerleader.
Maniac! (1980)"Joe Spinell seduces Bond girl. Seems legit."
Deathgasm (2015)As they say, death cerntainly does cum.
Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)Cloning, mutation, telekinesis... The series gets interesting.
Halloween (1978)They schould make a sequel! Oh wait...
Dark Summer (2015)Watch stupid guy repeatedly reject gorgeous girl.
Scream (1996)"They've got 900 numbers for that shit"
Peter Jackson's THE FRIGHTENERS: DIRECTOR'S CUT (1996, HD-DVD).Jeffrey Combs = discount "Fifth Element" Gary Oldman.
Carrie (1976)Ya know, Carrie's mom was kinda right.
J. Lee Thompson's HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (110 min., DVD)."Red Herring: The Movie." And royalty-free now!
John Elias Michalakis' I WAS A TEENAGE ZOMBIE (1987, Hulu's Criterion Channel) for the first time."The Toxic Avenger's" sound editor proudly presents...
Apollo 18 (2011)Stanley Kubrick should've faked this moon landing.
The Babadook (2014)Gloomy, scary, and, surprisingly, heartwarming.orNever open an unfamiliar picture book
Halloween (1978)Schroeder from Peanuts favorite movie ever
The Roommate (2008) Stars Daneel Harris, not Danielle Harris. Dammit!
Halloween (1978) Dir. Cohn Jarpenter at Monster Mania! in Hunt Valley MDWho keeps a pumpkin on their nightstand?
Dude Bro Party Massacre III (2015)So much bro, so much massacre. Perfect.
The Ring (2002)What's a tape? What's a home phone?
Cannibal Ferox (1981)Not what I meant by nipple piercings.
Cannibal Holocaust (1980)Natives seem to love Debbie Does Dallas.
Devil Hunter (1980)Franco's script notes: "Rack focus to bush."
Don't Go In The Woods (1981)At least pony up for Michael Berryman.
Driller Killer (1979)Miserable? Wait till you work with Madonna.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)Should I have known the word "somnambulist"?
Byzantium (2012, Dir. Neil Jordan) Go figure, even the vampires are sexist.
Claw bath toy tie-in was ill conceived
What movie is this review for?
A Nightmare on Elm street(1984)
Trick 'r Treat (2007)Why I'm never, ever moving to Ohio.
Eight Legged Freaks (2002)Suggestive web-shooting on young, naked Scarlett Johansson...
Unfriended (2014)Communicating with other teenagers seems fucking exhausting.
The Girl Next Door (2007) This movie can go straight to Hell.
The Visit (2015)Shit gets real deep after nine thirty
Psycho 2 (1983)A good sequel to a horror classic.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)Was the right angle not invented yet?
Theatre Of Blood (1973)Douchey critics pay the ultimate bloody Price
It Follows (2014): Finally, it pays to be a slut.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) (with Director/DP/Cast commentary)Loved having Wes talk me through it.
The Wicker Man (2006)NOT THE BEES knees but will do
The Thing (1982)Featuring MacReady's big mahfuckin helicopter-drivin' hat.
Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)More fun than wearing an angora sweater!
The Visit (2015)The best part was Grandma screaming, "Yahtzee!"
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)Loomis has a lot of boundary issues.
Pet Cemetery (1989) at Monster Mania! MD dir. Mary LambertUmpteeth viewing, large pepperoni on the way!
Creep (2014)Wait, that was nothing like "My Life".
Deadtime Stories (1986)Horror anthology effectively put me to sleep.
The Evil Clergyman (1987)Combs and Crampton are horror's Hanks/Ryan.
Djinn (2012)Wishing Tobe Hooper's genie movie was better.
Pet Sematary (1989)Jesus Christ. Can I unsee Zelda, please?
Saw III (2006)Villains learn: Jigsaw kills victims then monologues.
Poltergeist (1982)Ghost teach a family how to love.
Horror of Dracula (1958)I can't be the first to say this, but it's still true:Dracula is one Bad Ass Mother Sucker!
Abbott and Costello Meet FrankensteinNight with kiddos I will never forget
It Follows (2014)IT obviously doesn't stand with Planned Parenthood.
Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)Tatiana Maslany actually plays ALL the werewolves.
Shocker (1989)We have Edison to thank for this.
The Guest (2014)This count? ...why, hell YES it does.
Christine (1983)Underrated Carpenter adapted from underrated Stephen King.
Idle Hands (1999)"No Kevin Costner speeches -- let's just GO."
Tales of TerrorThrice the Price, three times the joy
It Follows (2014)Every background actor gives me the creeps.
Psycho (1960)Bates motel Yelp reviews would be terrible
Black Sheep (2006)Before "Zombeavers" sheep once ruled New Zealand!