Friday, October 2, 2015

Scary Movie Challenge VI (Day 2)


123 comments:

  1. Hellraiser (1987) die. Clive Barker
    Acupuncturist needs to calm the hell down.

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  2. Saw (2004)

    Witness Jigsaw perform elaborate Mortal Kombat fatalities.

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  3. Grace (2009)

    I wanna watch Carly Fiorina watch this.

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  4. Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari (1920):

    I know the path to cure you.

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  5. The Howling (1981)

    Like most things, needed more Dick Miller.

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  6. John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness (1987)

    Quantum physics would help launch that fucker.

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  7. Monster Squad (1987)

    Most adorable utterance of "chicken shit" ever.

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  8. Halloween (Original)

    Two cars on the road, one's Myers!

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  9. Halloween II

    That hydrotherapy tank was really the tits.

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  10. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

    Michael does cops' daughters by the book.

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  11. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

    Mute telepathic children make the best victims.

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  12. Carrie (1976)

    Spacek is strangely hot in piggy red.

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  13. The Thing (1982)

    Scariest Wilford Brimley performance until Hard Target

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  14. ZOMBIE HIGH (1987, Amazon Prime) for the first time.

    OMG! 'High School' is 'College' spelled backwards!

    and/or

    Minimum carnage, "Maximum (Patrick Bateman douchiness) Overdrive."

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  15. Tommy Lee Wallace's HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982, DVD).

    No Ileana Douglas ice skating? No sale!

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  16. House of the Devil

    The house couldn't handle one more lightbulb?

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  17. A Nightmare on Elm street (1984)

    Mr Wes Craven, you will be missed.

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  18. Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

    Pretorius acquires miniatures, Frankenstein is not impressed.

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  19. A Cold Night's Death (ABC Tuesday Night Movie of the Week, Jan. 1973) Dir. Jerrold Freedman

    Atmospheric, blisteringly snowy, isolated location, nostalgia abound.

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  20. The Visit (2015)

    Some asshole told me the Shyamalan twist™

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  21. The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960)

    Google Image Christopher Lee's Sideburns in this...

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  22. Sleepaway Camp

    Should've splurged for the ribbed, vibrating curler.

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  23. Halloween III: Season of the Witch

    Why's my dick covered in motor oil?

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  24. In the Mouth of Madness:

    Blue is Actually the Most Crazy Color

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  25. It Follows (2014)
    Ripoff of "Horrible Slow Murderer" from 2008.

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  26. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)

    At least they kept the camera still.

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  27. From Dusk Til Dawn (1996)

    I'm stuck between two...here they both are.

    A truck hauling crossbows? Only in Mexico.
    and
    Sex Machine might secretly be Simon Belmont

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  28. The Prophecy (1995)

    The Bible, if Christopher Walken was God.

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  29. Creep (2014)

    Another reason not to trust Craigslist classifieds.

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  30. Saw (2004)

    The sequels will make more sense, right?

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  31. Discopathe (2013) - nice killscenes in dumb movie. Also: disco

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  32. The Cabin in the Woods (2012) - very ineffective anti drug commercial. Great movie.

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  33. Paranormal Activity (2007)
    Even demon girl likes Katie Featherston's bewbs.

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  34. Scream Dream (1989)

    Her name's "Michelle Shock." Best movie ever?

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  35. Saw II (2005)

    Imagine the needle pit is instead lollipops.

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  36. Devil (2010)

    Totally unrealistic. Satan always takes the stairs.

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  37. The Visit (2015)

    Shocking side effects of Werther's Original exposed!

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  38. The Quatermass Xperiment (1955)

    Shut up, alien! We are still filming!

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  39. The Blair Witch Project (1999) - 2nd viewing

    16 years later still a horrendous bore

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  40. The Innkeepers (2011)

    Cute girl, empty hotel rooms? I'm sold!

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  41. Creepshow (1982)

    Danson should be dancin', not Ed Harris

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  42. Scream 2 (1997)

    Ghostface is the Olyphant in the room!

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  43. Cabin In The Woods (2012)

    "I'm never gonna see a Merman. Ever."

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  44. Saw II (2005)

    Five more of these? I don't know...

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  45. Deathgasm (2015)

    Metal, metal, Kiwi, metal, gore, metal. Fun.

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  46. Creep (2015)

    Pete from The League turned stalker, psychotherapist.

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  47. Silence Of The Lambs (1991)

    Watch or you’ll get the hose again.

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  48. Bless The Child (2000)

    She has power over cartoon CGI rats.

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  49. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

    Emancipation of vampire heads from their bodies.

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  50. They Live (1988)

    NO INDEPENDENT THOUGHT: SLEEP CONSUME OBEY CONFORM

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  51. Possession (1981)

    The worst way you can cuckold someone.

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  52. The Nightmare (2015)

    Remember when documentaries used to be factual?

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  53. Pulse (2001)

    See it! Both Shudder and Riske approved.

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  54. Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

    Saxon to the rescue! Or is he...?

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  55. Night of the living dead (1968)
    Romero's zombie original still the undead hordes

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  56. Friday the 13th part 2 1981

    Once seen, Never forgotten, Brown Shiny knickers!

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  57. Cujo (1983)

    Sit, Cujo, sit -- good dog OH SHIT

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  58. American Psycho (2000, Mary Harron)

    City unveils new line of ALF-inspired ATMs.

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  59. Bad Milo (2013)
    Creator's of The Puffy Chair produce turd.

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  60. Ed Wood's Orgy of the Dead (1965)

    Behold, the unrelenting terror of interpretive dance!

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  61. Gavin Leahy OctoberOctober 2, 2015 at 4:08 PM

    Almost Mercy (2015)

    Staring Jason and a defense specialist cheerleader.

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  62. Maniac! (1980)

    "Joe Spinell seduces Bond girl. Seems legit."

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  63. Deathgasm (2015)

    As they say, death cerntainly does cum.

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  64. Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

    Cloning, mutation, telekinesis... The series gets interesting.

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  65. Halloween (1978)

    They schould make a sequel! Oh wait...

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  66. Dark Summer (2015)

    Watch stupid guy repeatedly reject gorgeous girl.

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  67. Scream (1996)
    "They've got 900 numbers for that shit"

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  68. Peter Jackson's THE FRIGHTENERS: DIRECTOR'S CUT (1996, HD-DVD).

    Jeffrey Combs = discount "Fifth Element" Gary Oldman.

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  69. Carrie (1976)
    Ya know, Carrie's mom was kinda right.

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  70. J. Lee Thompson's HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (110 min., DVD).

    "Red Herring: The Movie." And royalty-free now!

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  71. John Elias Michalakis' I WAS A TEENAGE ZOMBIE (1987, Hulu's Criterion Channel) for the first time.

    "The Toxic Avenger's" sound editor proudly presents...

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  72. Apollo 18 (2011)

    Stanley Kubrick should've faked this moon landing.

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  73. The Babadook (2014)

    Gloomy, scary, and, surprisingly, heartwarming.
    or
    Never open an unfamiliar picture book

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  74. Halloween (1978)
    Schroeder from Peanuts favorite movie ever

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  75. The Roommate (2008)

    Stars Daneel Harris, not Danielle Harris. Dammit!

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  76. Halloween (1978) Dir. Cohn Jarpenter at Monster Mania! in Hunt Valley MD

    Who keeps a pumpkin on their nightstand?

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  77. Dude Bro Party Massacre III (2015)

    So much bro, so much massacre. Perfect.

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  78. The Ring (2002)

    What's a tape? What's a home phone?

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  79. Cannibal Ferox (1981)

    Not what I meant by nipple piercings.

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  80. Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

    Natives seem to love Debbie Does Dallas.

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  81. Devil Hunter (1980)

    Franco's script notes: "Rack focus to bush."

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  82. Don't Go In The Woods (1981)

    At least pony up for Michael Berryman.

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  83. Driller Killer (1979)

    Miserable? Wait till you work with Madonna.

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  84. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

    Should I have known the word "somnambulist"?

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  85. Byzantium (2012, Dir. Neil Jordan)

    Go figure, even the vampires are sexist.

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  86. Claw bath toy tie-in was ill conceived

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    Replies
    1. What movie is this review for?

      Delete
    2. A Nightmare on Elm street(1984)

      Delete
  87. Trick 'r Treat (2007)

    Why I'm never, ever moving to Ohio.

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  88. Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

    Suggestive web-shooting on young, naked Scarlett Johansson...

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  89. Unfriended (2014)

    Communicating with other teenagers seems fucking exhausting.

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  90. The Girl Next Door (2007)

    This movie can go straight to Hell.

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  91. The Visit (2015)

    Shit gets real deep after nine thirty

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  92. Psycho 2 (1983)
    A good sequel to a horror classic.

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  93. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

    Was the right angle not invented yet?

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  94. Theatre Of Blood (1973)

    Douchey critics pay the ultimate bloody Price

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  95. It Follows (2014): Finally, it pays to be a slut.

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  96. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) (with Director/DP/Cast commentary)

    Loved having Wes talk me through it.

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  97. The Wicker Man (2006)

    NOT THE BEES knees but will do

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  98. The Thing (1982)

    Featuring MacReady's big mahfuckin helicopter-drivin' hat.

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  99. Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)
    More fun than wearing an angora sweater!

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  100. The Visit (2015)

    The best part was Grandma screaming, "Yahtzee!"

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  101. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

    Loomis has a lot of boundary issues.

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  102. Pet Cemetery (1989) at Monster Mania! MD dir. Mary Lambert

    Umpteeth viewing, large pepperoni on the way!

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  103. Creep (2014)

    Wait, that was nothing like "My Life".

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  104. Deadtime Stories (1986)

    Horror anthology effectively put me to sleep.

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  105. The Evil Clergyman (1987)

    Combs and Crampton are horror's Hanks/Ryan.

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  106. Djinn (2012)

    Wishing Tobe Hooper's genie movie was better.

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  107. Pet Sematary (1989)

    Jesus Christ. Can I unsee Zelda, please?

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  108. Saw III (2006)

    Villains learn: Jigsaw kills victims then monologues.

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  109. Poltergeist (1982)

    Ghost teach a family how to love.

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  110. Horror of Dracula (1958)
    I can't be the first to say this, but it's still true:

    Dracula is one Bad Ass Mother Sucker!

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  111. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein

    Night with kiddos I will never forget

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  112. It Follows (2014)

    IT obviously doesn't stand with Planned Parenthood.

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  113. Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)

    Tatiana Maslany actually plays ALL the werewolves.

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  114. Shocker (1989)

    We have Edison to thank for this.

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  115. The Guest (2014)

    This count? ...why, hell YES it does.

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  116. Christine (1983)

    Underrated Carpenter adapted from underrated Stephen King.

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  117. Idle Hands (1999)

    "No Kevin Costner speeches -- let's just GO."

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  118. Tales of Terror

    Thrice the Price, three times the joy

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  119. It Follows (2014)

    Every background actor gives me the creeps.

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  120. Psycho (1960)
    Bates motel Yelp reviews would be terrible

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  121. Black Sheep (2006)

    Before "Zombeavers" sheep once ruled New Zealand!

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