by Adam Riske
I had a very difficult time watching Ride Along 2. I went to see it on Saturday morning and walked out after 40 minutes to look at posters in the lobby. The movie is so mindless, half-assed and pathetic (it’s barely a movie in that it tells a story) that everything in my body was telling me to get up and leave. I knew I was reviewing this movie so I returned to my seat about 5 minutes later. Then at the 70 minute mark I left for good. I couldn’t take it anymore. I went home and took a nap.
When I woke up from my nap I started to feel guilty. I couldn’t review the movie because I didn’t see major portions of it but I felt bad, like I didn’t give Ride Along 2 a fair shake. So I grabbed my gift card and went to a different theater (I couldn’t brave the chance of a movie theater employee recognizing me from the morning and thinking I was returning to Ride Along 2) and forced myself to sit and watch this movie in its entirety. I just wanted you to know I put a lot of effort into this review.
The plot in brief: They didn’t try so neither will I. It’s a buddy cop movie.
The key ingredient of a buddy cop movie is if you like (or at least are interested in) the buddy cops. In the case of Ride Along and Ride Along 2 (which is worse than the original, if you can even imagine that), I did not. Ice Cube is fine but he’s playing the straight man detective to Kevin Hart’s wacky rookie cop and all Ice Cube really does is scowl and dispense the occasional put-down. We’re almost not designed to like Ice Cube’s character because he’s such a stick in the mud. That could be forgivable if we like Kevin Hart’s character, but I, at least, do not. He’s so incompetent that it stretches the realm of disbelief in accepting that any police force would allow him to work for them.
I say “almost everywhere” because there are two good things about Ride Along 2 and that is the cinematography and the performance by Benjamin Bratt as the film’s (I can’t believe I just wrote the word “film” in reference to Ride Along 2) villain. Bratt is charismatic and seems to be having a lot of fun with his character and the movie is set in the beautiful and cinematic city of Miami, so every shot is at least beautiful to look at. So, I guess Ride Along 2 could have been worse (but probably not).
Generally I have a rule with reviews not to be toxic, unkind, ungenerous, poisonous, or show a lack of charity, but that was all before I saw Ride Along 2. It has to be hard to make a movie this bad. It just had to be entertaining and in that it completely fails. Ride Along 2 is dreadful. I hate this shit!
And yet there's an audience that will totally love this movie, as evidenced by the 34 million dollar opening weekend. I don't get it. I was getting upset when people were laughing at the trailers for it. I'm sorry you had to sit through it.ReplyDelete
Thanks for taking one more for the team, Adam. How does it compare to the typical Happy Madison production?ReplyDelete
It's a bit better than most Happy Madison productions.Delete
Last week I saw the aggressively unfunny trailer in front of the very wonderful and sometimes pretty funny "Creed". There was not a single laugh from the audience during that trailer.Delete
Every time I read a review like this, I´m very happy about my decades old decision to avoid nearly all movie comedies. I just can´t stand to sit in a theater for two hours to come away with one or two half assed jokes that work on me. If you ask me, most of those "funny" movies suck.
From time to time I watch some of those at home, usually stopping right in the middle because of finding them seriously unfunny.
And it´s not that I have no humor but it seems like I find things way funnier when they happen in a movie that´s not primarily going for laughs or is labeled as a comedy.
I have the same and it generally serves me wellDelete
I can't imagine watching this movie after seeing the first one. And you sat through it one and a half times? That just sounds like torture to me. I think I'm done with Kevin Hart movies. He's a funny guy who somehow manages to make aggressively unfunny comedies. It's baffling.ReplyDelete
I work at a theater, and I went on my break to watch 15 minutes of whatever. So I ask my coworker what to go watch, and as a joke I told her I'd watch whatever she said no questions, so she said RIDE ALONG 2. We were friends before that.ReplyDelete
Is there a worse time of year than the January-February time period for movies? I'd say possibly the last week of August/first week of September. Still, the beginning of the year really is a scrap heap for the most part.ReplyDelete
You should have seen 13 Hours. It's actually quite good. Much better than American Sniper.ReplyDelete
13 hours was good. Best Bay film in a while.Delete
I'll get around to seeing 13 Hours soon. I've heard good things.Delete
Ride Along 2 stunk. It wasn't funny and the story was terrible. All the would be funny parts were shown in the trailer. Speaking of the trailer. Tyrese would have been a nice cameo had that not of spoiled that in the trailer. Ride Along 1 was at least watchable and had a story that half way made sense.ReplyDelete
Yeah, I would have much rather watched a cop movie with Ice Cube and Tyrese the whole way through.Delete