Saturday, June 18, 2016

Junesploitation 2016 Day 18: Teensploitation!

It's high school the way we remember it...although it never happened quite like this!

88 comments:

  1. SKY HIGH (2005, 100 min.) on Blu-ray.

    There were few precious teens anywhere near this movie set (tons of 20/30-something actors, though, just like 95% of teenage anything in American movies/TV), but 2005's "Sky High" is technically a teenage superhero action movie. You know, back when "X-Men 2" and "Spider-Man 2" were the superhero movie templates to emulate, and "The Revenge of the Sith" really felt like the end of "Star Wars" as we knew it. It has a most important and valuable message for kids about segregation. As in 'there's average crappy schools with dull/boring teachers like yours, and there are awesome schools for important and special kids with cool teachers like 70's Wonder Woman, half the cast of "Kids in the Hall" and Ronald Reagan from "Fargo" Season 2 ('Sidekick!). You know teens, they need to learn their place in the world from movies and pop culture ASAP. :-P

    And who better to steal a modern-day teen movie that former teenage actor Kurt Russell (star of "The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes" at age 18)? His Commander character is the highlight of "Sky High." Along with Jetstream (Kelly Preston) the Stronghold parents have limited screen time, but you feel like you've known them and lived through some of their adventure solely by the actors' chemistry. It descends into "Power Rangers" silliness toward the end and Michael Angarano's Will Strong sucks as the lead (#TeamRonWilsonsploitation!), but "Sky High's" never less than a joyous ride. And holy F, then-21 year-old Mary Elizabeth Winstead ("10 Cloverfield Lane") played Gwen Grayson? Mind blown.

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  2. Better Off Dead (1985)

    Just your normal average teen movie. Nothing to see here.

    KIDDING. This movie is bizarre and crazy and completely awesome. So glad to have finally seen it! Now if you'll excuse me I have to go find my food as I believe it has crawled away...

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    1. Go that way as fast as you can!

      If something gets in your way, TURN....

      Love it

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    2. Love it also! I am so glad I have this on DVD :)

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  3. Matinee (1993)

    I've been feeling a bit under the weather lately. The doctor says it might be radiation poisoning so perhaps I'm in the early stages of becoming MANT! (one can only hope, I can threaten to destroy humanity if I don't get my sugar demands).
    In all seriousness while I find Gremlins 2 to be my favorite Joe Dante film I think this is his best done film. A perfect blend of old time monster movies, Cuban missile crisis paranoia, and teenagers having to go through all of it. If you haven't seen this movie before move it up to the top of your list, it covers War, Bugs, and the apocalypse just to name a few Junesploitation spots.
    Also on a small side note, if you want to go to a place where movies like MANT could have played check out the Sci-Fi Dine in at Disney Hollywood Studios in Orlando, its a treasure trove of 50's and 60's cheese and you can eat in a car.

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    1. Watched this for the first time last year, love it more every subsequent viewing. Arrow announced a 2 disc blu, but I think it's region 2 only.

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  4. The New Kids (1985)

    Sean Cunningham, a film or two after Friday the 13th, directs the story of a teenage brother and sister (Lori Loughlin!) who, following the death of their parents, are sent to live with their uncle in Florida. Almost immediately, the two are tormented by a local gang of drug dealing, dog fighting hoodlums led by the most terrifyingly rapey James Spader to ever grace the screen (... I think? Not sure if he's been rapier. Just a guess).

    Becky (er... Abby?) and her brother must defend their uncle's pride and joy, Santa's Funland - petting zoo, amusement park, gas station! - and their own dignity, safety, and buttholes from the seemingly unstoppable band of miscreants.

    Pretty fun watch. Super 80s movie with multiple awesome montages and a stupidly cliche score. I don't believe a sequel ever existed, but the final shot really left me wanting a "murderer kills guests of local roadside attraction" flick.

    Fun fact: written by father of Jake and Maggie -- Stephen Gylenhaal!

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    1. Sleepaway Camp (1983)

      Wow! I am ashamed it took me this long to catch up with this incredible work of 80s art. I guess having the ending spoiled for me put me off for some time... but it still paid off. If you're yet to see this film, SEE IT NOW. Otherwise, you WILL have the ending spoiled for you (the internet is a dark and awful place) like my dumb ass.

      Other thoughts:
      That director was such an incredibly awful person I cannot see that writing as another but parody.
      On that front, who the fuck would ever leave a child alone with that chef?!
      Best 80s beefcake? Possibly. And he's NOT a bad guy?!?!
      Agreed, Meg is quite the pecker head.

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  5. Teen Wolf (1985)

    Michael J Fox stars as a teenage werewolf who is not hunted by the local village folks because he's really good at sports. Also the basketball coach is a complete jackass who doesn't even give a shit about his team until they start winning, is he betting money on the other team? Seriously this coach needs to be put under investigation.
    Save for a solid performance from Michael J Fox who when he isn't the teen wolf is almost playing George Mcfly the rest of this movie isn't all that memorable what with a bunch of actors I don't remember seeing in anything else and a score that I will assume is from a drunk John Carpenter its still kinda enjoyable. This movie was released just about a month after BTTF, I wonder if this movie only did as good as it did because BTTF screenings were sold out and adults tricked their kids that Teen Wolf is the Michael J Fox movie you wanted to see.
    Last quick note, has anyone ever tried to surf on top of a truck? Seems insanely dangerous to me. I'll stick to skateboarding behind random drivers thank you

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  6. License to Drive (1988)

    I wanted to love this movie more than I did. The pacing wasn't great, for me, and I kept dipping in out of the movies vibe. The whole Heather Graham in the trunk was a little like sweet preclue to Very Bad Things. But the drunk guy was fun. I tended to happier with parents Richard Masur and Carol Kane. But I cannot watch anything Kane is in now without hearing Lillians gorgious New York voice from Kimmy Schmit 'all my cats are piling up in one corner.'

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    1. I can't remember much about this one, except that I really loved it. Gotta love the Corys!

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    2. It is still one of my favorites. I think you have to see it as a kid to really appreciate it. I will get in my time machine and tell kid Lindsay to watch it...and then I'll go back and kill baby Hitler.

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    3. Thanks Brent that would be great! Can you also tell her to watch Lost Boys before shes 20. And always kill baby Hitler (in 1940s radio voice)

      I shoudn't complain to much I got spend about 90 minutes with the Corys.

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    5. The Lost Boys is my favorite movie so they have a lifetime pass for me(RIP Corey Haim).

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    6. I wanted to watch Lost Boys last night, but it dropped off, I think it was Netflix, but it could have been another service. Every time I watch it I like it a little more, so I was hoping this was the time I would completely embrace it.

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    7. It's not for everyone but I love it.

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  7. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

    Both my movies steal a car. This is not my most shameful movie shame, but it is up there, so I am really glade I could finally sit down and watch it. I really liked it. I wasn't expecting it to be as unusal - not surreal but because the movie is mostly in Bueller's head you can go into all sorts of untidy pockets. I loved the chemistry between Boderick and Ruck, and Jeffery Jones getting on the bus is a favourite moment of Junesploitation along with Sam Neill trying to drive out of Hobbs End In The Mouth of Madness and Charles Durning trying to sit on a desk in To Be or Not to Be.

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  8. BMX Bandits (1983)

    Teenaged Nicole Kidman! The most incompetent criminal duo in cinematic history! Really long scenes of cars chasing bikes! It's the 80s, so the bikes are bmx, and the criminals are trying to recover their... walkie talkies. Brian Trenchard-Smith elevates the silly material with some fairly effective scenes. Ride on!

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    1. Does Angel Summoner make an appearance?

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    2. The Angel Summoner & BMX Bandit theme song has been playing in my head non-stop since I first read that.

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  9. Scream (1996)

    What is teensploitation without a slasher pic? I had a blast with this watch. Just the way Anderson set up little things like the tree in the first few shots or how Sydney's wardrobe door opened. It was the 90s so teens are more articulate than they would other wise be, but I grew up with that rapid paced dialogue. Scream will always be an important movie for me it was the first horror I saw in the theatre and also it was my first 15+.

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    1. Who's Anderson? Did you mean Williamson or Craven instead? Just curious.

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    2. You didn't know Wes Anderson actually directed Scream?

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    3. I'm still struggling to find the Bill Murray cameo in this one...

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    4. Whoops I meant craven!!!!!! That would be a very differnt movie

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    5. Sorry late here - it would be more daddy issues and claymation

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  10. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains (1982) (first time viewing)

    Bratty teenager becomes famous by being a bratty teenager, then comes her downfall because she's a bratty teenager. It was okay. If you want a better movie with Diane Lane playing a rocker chick then totally watch Streets of Fire....because it's completely awesome.

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  11. Class of 1984 (1982, dir. Mark Lester, on DVD) – First Time Viewing: I love movies that do not pull punches. This is one of them. My jaw actually dropped 3 different times while watching this insanity. Could not believe some of the places it goes. See this movie (5 out of 5 Griers)!

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    1. Dang it. You're making me want to blind buy this thing.

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    2. Oh I forgot to mention the Roddy McDowall freakout rampage scene. You should probably pull the trigger Daniel.

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    3. This is a worthy blind buy along with 90% of the Mark L. Lester filmography.

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    4. Face the music teacher teacher...

      I just saw this move as well and it was insane. I absolutely loved it. I would do it Daniel!

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    5. I was going to watch it this month! Super psyched now.

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    6. All time classic, you'll love it Brent!

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    7. Would love Patrick and Doug to do a podcast on 1984.

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  12. Train Station Pickups (1979)

    German tale of high school seniors getting mixed up in the drug and sex trade going on at the train station. This movie actually introduces the characters while they're going about the train station business before we ever see them in high school. Kinda took away the impact of them delving away from the straight and narrow. This movie gets into some moralizing, but nothing like its American counterparts. Some better than average dialogue elevates this one to mid level trash.

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  13. Suburbia (1983, Dir. Penelope Spheeris)

    I'd be hard-pressed to explain exactly why I really liked this film, but I did. The acting is objectively horrible because they cast real kids from the L.A. punk scene instead of professional actors. And the storytelling is hit or miss. Some scenes don't make sense, and I'm not sure I've ever seen an opening scene that is so bizarrely irrelevant. But, the movie has an authenticity and ease about it that makes it eminently watchable. I identified with the characters and their relationships, and that's about the best thing you can ask for. I might watch this again soon. It may not work for everybody, but I certainly enjoyed it.

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  14. The Swinging Cheerleaders (1974) Dir. Jack Hill

    Jack Hill being a real jerk teasing us with Colleen Camp.

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    1. So did they swing on swings or did they all have sex with each other?

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    2. They talked a lot. At least Colleen gave us Death Games!

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  15. They're Playing with Fire (1984)

    Our dear leader P-Bromz has mentioned the movie a couple of times on the podcast, so naturally I had to see it.

    Starring Eric Brown and Sybil Danning's breasts, the movie starts out as a typical 80's sex comedy, then turns into a mystery/thriller, and by the end it's almost a crazy slasher movie. Very weird stuff, but highly entertaining. And you only have to wait eight minutes until the first shot of Sybil's funbags. Also features Dominick Brascia, the star of Friday the 13th: A New Beginning.

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  16. Zapped! (1982)

    Charles in Charge of our days and our weed.

    After a shitty 80s Action movie, this was a welcome surprise. Scott Baio is in high school but has yet to go through puberty. He is growing weed and testing it on mice. Scatman Crothers has the best scene where he is so high that he hallucinates his wife chasing him down to kill him. You know how wives be nagging. My only problem with the movie is the terrible falling-in-love montage. Other than that, I really enjoyed it. I can see revisiting this a bunch more.

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  17. Over the Edge (1979)

    Directed by Jonathan Kaplan, who also directed such movies as Truck Turner, White Line Fever, Project X, The Accused, and perhaps unfortunately Bad Girls (I haven't seen it recently enough to judge). Teenagers living in a planned community out in the middle of nowhere and who aren't properly supervised or disciplined get up to various hijinks. Then things take a turn for the worse. I thought it was a pretty decent movie and it's also notable I guess for being Matt Dillon's first role.

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  18. The Craft (1996) dir. Andrew Fleming

    A really fun movie with some good performances that is undone mostly by cloudy character motivations rivaled only by Juice (1992).

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  19. The Legend of Billie Jean (1985)

    Apparently when Pat Benatar is playing live, she introduces her (really great) song "Invincible" as being from the worst movie ever made. It's not. Yes, the movie is a mess and hardly a masterpiece, but it's a kind of compulsively watchable over-the-top teen melodrama that we don't get much of anymore.

    The story follows a teenaged Texas girl who runs afoul of some predatory men and becomes an outlaw and a media sensation. Helen Slater is strong and likable in the lead, with an impossibly young Christian Slater (no relation) along for the ride as her brother. After Sudden Impact yesterday, it seems that women avenging male abuse is becoming a Junesploitation theme for me and just like my reaction to Sondra Locke in that movie, I find myself cheering the women on even as the law gets broken. After all, as this movie states, fair is fair.

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  20. PORKY’S II: THE NEXT DAY (1983)
    After defeating Porky, the teens wage their next practical joke war on society itself, taking down church leaders, politicians, and the KKK. There’s a scene early on where Pee-Wee and Wendy have a heart-to-heart about the night before, and it’s a beautifully-written, emotionally honest discussion. Too bad everything else is one boring, unfunny slog of a movie.

    ODDBALLS (1984)
    Aging comedian Foster Brooks, that guy who made a career out of pretending (or not?) to be drunk all the time, runs a wacky summer camp. This is Airplane/Naked Gun comedy, that’s all puns, sight gags, and double entendres. Wet Hot American Summer is basically the same movie, except that WHAS is 1) made with an eye toward nostalgia, and 2) actually funny.

    TUFF TURF (1985)
    I have no idea what I just watched! James Spader plays a teen genius/vigilante/rock musician who moves from the rich neighborhood to the tough (Tuff) part of town, where he falls in love and battles evil punks. Is this action? Is it a Ferris Bueller-style comedy? Is it a musical? Is it a Brazil/Blade Runner/Streets of Fire “city fantasy” movie? Did I dream this?

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    1. The vomiting scene with the fake breasts in Porky´s 2 is one of the most laugh out loud scenes I ever saw in a movie.

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  21. The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

    An escaped mental patient crashes a teen girls' slumber party wielding a power drill.

    Originally written as a parody of teen slashers, the producers in their infinite wisdom wanted to turn it into a straight-up slasher. So it's kinda both and neither. The movie really knows its audience, though. The first shot of tits comes in on the two-minute mark and the first kill by minute six, almost immediately followed by a group shower scene.

    That one shot at a low angle from behind the killer, with the drill hanging between his legs and a girl looking at him with a terrified expression before he plunges the drill into her... Probably no symbolism there.

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    1. One of my all time favs! I love that whole series.

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    2. It is one of my favorites from this month. Jay Leno really wanted to kill those teenagers.

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    3. The second installment crosses confidently into parody btw.

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  22. I'm not actually sure how or why I own this?

    Prom night 2008. (The bad one)

    On bluray too, It must of been cheap, I genuinely don't remember buying it, being a horror fan I watch a lot of rubbish hoping for that ruby in the sand, even a bad movie might have a moment, or a line of dialogue, or a jump scare I didn't see coming, a nicely shot scene, just something to give me a thrill, unfortunately this was as generic as can be and the best I can say is the transfer looked good and Idris elba is in it, that's all folks

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    1. I'm the only person on Earth who doesn't hate this one. I like it more than the original, but that's not saying much because I don't like the original at all.

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    2. I think it's a good, suspenseful movie

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    3. Must be me, I found it bland, meh, I don't remember the original its been that long, I think Prom night 2 was the better film in my memory?

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    4. Prom Night 2 is a blast, and a sequel in name only.

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  23. Sixteen Candles (1984)- Watching this, I realized I've seen Can't Hardly Wait more times than Sixteen Candles, which is weird. I think of it as lesser-John Hughes (after Ferris and the Breakfast Club) but it's a really enjoyable and insanely problematic movie. Long Duk Dong is hilarious and terribly racist, Farmer Ted is endearing and funny and more than a little rapey, and my post-Say Anything man-crush on John Cusack makes it impossible to see him as a convincing nerd.

    Oh, and Joan Cusack steals every scene she's in.

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  24. NIGHT OF THE COMET (1984)

    Since I got my Scream Factory Blu I must have watched this 10x by now...so why not go to 11?

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    1. That is an excellent movie and an excellent Blu. "Dad would have gotten us Uzis."

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  25. Jesus Christ, I've been watching The Exterminator for like a full day. I've fallen asleep three times. It might be time to give up.

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    1. ABC Notebook: Teen Suicide (1985)
      Made for tv program about the situations that teenagers experience when contemplating suicide, with an intro and conclusion by Zach Galligan. Features background music by Yes, Hall and Oates, and Alphaville.

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    2. Girl Talk: Pilot (1989)
      Sarah Michelle Gellar and Soleil Moon Frye meet NKOTB backstage, and Brian Robbins tells them about what it was like shooting Head of the Class in Moscow.

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    3. That Teen Show: Teen Suicide (1981)

      Herve Villechaize explains Suicide is not the answer, a Q&A session with a girl who tried to kill herself 5 times, and a performance of "Winning" by Santana.

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    4. Teen Set: The Video (1990)

      Corin Nemec shows you how to make a Gumby sandwich, shows us his Bob Marley posters, David Faustino gets on a horse, Andre Gower takes his DMV driver's test, Jenny Lewis puts on some hats, and Corey Haim answers questions on stage on Knott's Berry Farm.

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    5. Corey Haim: Me Myself and I (1989)

      Corey answers the question, what does "Kissing mean to me?" puts up with a barely interested crew, and says "Yeah booooy" a lot.

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    6. These are definitive of the genre. Nice! I love the Girl Talk pilot!

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  26. Detention (2011)
    Wow! did not see that coming. Everything in this one worked for me after almost dismissing it after the trailer. Practically a different movie/tone from scene to scene and it all works. Plays with so many tropes and flips them while knowing what it's doing. Had a big smile from beginning to end.

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  27. Malibu High (1979, dir. Irvin Berwick)
    Drive-in trash in which a high school girl (Jill Lansing in her only acting role ever) is failing out and decides to fuck her teachers to get good grades. This leads to her becoming a full-fledged prostitute, which then leads to her becoming an assassin of sorts. The musical transitions are hilariously out of place, the dialogue often super entertaining in its weird badness (my favorite line is something like "Who do I look like? The late Howard Hughes?"). It feels long, but it's exactly what this month is about.

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    1. Crown International boyeeeeee!

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    2. I watched five minutes of it on YouTube before I realized "wait...I own this" and switched to the DVD. Junesploitation is melting my brain.

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  28. Final Payback (2001) Dir. Art Camacho

    Are you F-ing kidding me?! Here is all I have to say and let this sink it: PM Entertainment flick with Richard Grieco, John Saxon, Martin Kove, Priscilla Barnes, Corbin Bernsen, Laura Harring and Sherrie Rose. Need I say more?! Not Teensploitation but I'm stretching with Grieco being a teen star. This was ridiculously awesome.

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  29. I was talked into Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which was a mistake. It wasn't even Good-Bad, it was just no fun. It was very, very clunky. A mash up should be getting chocolate in your peanut butter, but this was more like putting asparagus in gravel.

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  30. I was talked into Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which was a mistake. It wasn't even Good-Bad, it was just no fun. It was very, very clunky. A mash up should be getting chocolate in your peanut butter, but this was more like putting asparagus in gravel.

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    1. I felt like I was barely watching a movie when I saw this.

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  31. Sixteen Candles (1984)

    I think I hated this movie. Sitting through the first 30 minutes was almost unbearable, I wanted to turn it off and watch something else which I never do. I like John Hughes enough, but the writing in this movie was awful. Even ignoring the racist and rapey jokes that would never fly today (and there were a lot of those), very little of the jokes worked, the characters were unlikable, and the music was obnoxious and out of place in that weird... every song is a quick little joke kinda way. Almost like each one was a bad skit. There were a few good (GENUINE) scenes like the one with Molly RIngwald talking to her dad on the couch and the very last scene, but besides that it was very very bleh.

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  32. Roller Boogie (1979, Dir. Mark L. Lester)

    What the hell just happened?
    Was roller skate disco dancing ever a thing? Was it a thing that was an Olympic event?? What a strange and curious movie this is, from the director that brought us Commando, thats right, COMMANDO, comes Roller Boogie. Think about combining Grease and Saturday Night Fever, except without memorable music, good dance choreography, interesting characters or any kind of narrative whatsoever.
    Still, I gotta admit I have a crush on Linda Blair, who is charming and pretty and effortless even when she and the movie around her is terrible.

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  33. Where have all the People Gone (1974) ABC movie Peter Graves and his two teenagers..see...it fits... survive some bad science event which causes 90% of people (not animals for some reason) to neatly die and their bodies to turn to dust ten years before Night of the Comet. The apocalypse - sanitized for your protection. The tv watching public wouldn't be ready for agonizing death and bodies in the streets until The Day After in 1983. But luckily we are following an upper middle class family who lives on the cliffs of Malibu and their solution to restarting society is to head for northern california.. nice work if you can get it. The idyllic apocolypse preppers dream about.

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  34. Class of Nuke 'Em High (1986, dir. Richard W. Haines & Lloyd Kaufman) - first viewing

    Thought I'd catch at least one Troma film before the month was up (I've only ever seen Toxic Avenger 1-3 and Terror Firmer on Patrick's recommendation last year). I was pleasantly surprised by, of all things, the pacing of this one - most all of the seemingly throwaway gags moved the plot forward in some way. That and the sincerity of the whole shebang kept the rampant crudity charming as opposed to obnoxious (although the biker antics did try my patience on the home stretch). Enjoyable.

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  35. Carnival of Souls (1962)
    A young woman is the lone survivor of a car wreck, and soon discovers that life has gotten very strange since the accident.

    This film is two very different things that come together to make one of the best movies I've seen all month. Half of the movie plays like a really good Twilight Zone episode. The strange happenings that fold out before her are handled in a very similar manner as the show. The film is also in black and white despite it being 1962, but that is done deliberately.

    The other half is very reminiscent of early silent horror. This is a very artistic choice that turns the last act of the movie into a Cabinet of Dr Caligari feel. Its scary, expressive, and quite beautiful throughout, and something I feel that I will return to again.

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  36. The Duff

    Surprised by how much I enjoyed the film, I like how they didn't go with the stereotypes of nerd, jock, popular, they went with how schools really are now which just made it feel more real. Mae Whitman is a fantastic lead, wish she was in more.

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  37. Suicide Club (2001)

    Oh jessssss....a ton of japanese schoolgirls start killing themselves. The scene with the train starts it off. The scene on the rooftop where everyone jumps, but a couple people don't.....I would be one of those people....pretty good movie, and I still don't understand Japanese film, or people. (My best friend is with a Japanese girl, and after years, I till can't read her, either in speaking or body language....so indecipherable)

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