It's your favorite time of year! You know the drill by now. Every time you watch a HORROR MOVIE during the month of October, add the name of the movie and a SEVEN WORD REVIEW (no more, no less) in the comments section of this post.
As is our tradition, we'll be reading many of our favorite seven word reviews on the podcast(s) each week. We'll try to get to as many as we can, but there are just too many good ones!
Some clarification: You do NOT have to watch a movie every day. They do NOT have to be movies you have never seen. You do NOT have to watch ONLY horror movies (though we don't know why you wouldn't). The goal is just for all of us to work together and get as many seven word reviews as possible.
I know it's tempting to foster discussion based on what everyone is watching, but that's going to throw the count off. Please keep the SMC threads dedicated only to seven word reviews. Each weekend we'll have an open thread where everyone can discuss what they've been watching. Sound good?
Have fun! Be scared! Hide the bodies.
The Beast with a Million Eyes (1955) - The plot with every freaking known cliche!
ReplyDeleteMirrors 2008
ReplyDeleteI watched to save Patrick the hassle!
Drag Me To Hell (2009) dir. Sam Raimi
ReplyDeleteWhite Phillip teaches me to eat deliciously.
From Beyond (1986)
ReplyDeleteThe freshly plucked eyeball is the tastiest.
GREEN ROOM (2016)
ReplyDeleteWorst decision WASN'T "Nazi Punks Fuck Off."
Figured I'd start with a turd, that I always hope that I will find a redeeming quality in (Einstein's definition of insanity).
ReplyDeleteA Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)
Reboot? Nope. Reimagining? Nope. More like retarded
First red flag: even Saxon said no.
Why is Freddy standing on Apple boxes?
Jump-bores, micronaps, CGWhy? Eat shit Michael Bay
Oscar nominee Mara gives film's worst performance
Effective Haley wasted under ball sack makeup
Somehow insomnia promoting movie induces aggressive drowsiness
Duel (1971)
ReplyDeleteRemember kids, to always pass with care.
Blood Rage (1987)
ReplyDeleteI can't believe
it's not
Cranberry Sauce!
Christine (1983)
ReplyDeleteIt's automatic, systamaitic, hydromatic, go go go.
Halloween (2007): Broken home, broken child, and broken logic.
ReplyDeleteHalloween (1978): Huh. So He's driving a station wagon.
ReplyDeleteThe Shining (1980): Room service for 237, beer goggles please
ReplyDeleteWishmaster (1997): Walked out halfway through. Just kidding Adam.
ReplyDeleteThe Exorcist (1973) (Theatrical Cut)
ReplyDeletePower of Scary Movie Month compels me...
The Exorcist (1973) (Extended Director's Cut)
ReplyDelete... to watch horror movies all month long.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
ReplyDeleteThat hospital REALLY cares about its patients.
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)
ReplyDeleteI'm 33. Still needed help spelling chianti.
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Micheal Myers
ReplyDeleteChild actress is not Jamie Lee Curtis.
The Masque of the Red Death (1964)
ReplyDeleteLushius, Extravagant, Extraordionary and that's just Price.
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)
ReplyDeleteWarning! This Found Footage May Cause Boredom
Island of Lost Souls (1932)
ReplyDeleteHouse of Pain..., Bela Lugosi..., It's #ScaryMovieMonth!!!!!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974): More people are killed with a hammer.
ReplyDeleteThe Witch (2015) Who let the titty pecking crow in?
ReplyDeleteThe Witch (2015): Black Phillip's The Year of Living Deliciously.
ReplyDeletePieces (1982)
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck did I just watch!?!
Anvil - The Story Of Anvil (2008)
ReplyDeleteBecause unrealised dreams are scary at 40!
Ha ha, yes!
DeleteThe Fly (1986)
ReplyDeleteAw what a sweet couple... oh shit!
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949): Half of this Disney movie kinda qualifies.
ReplyDeleteThe Woman in Black (2012)
ReplyDeleteThat was the train to Hogwarts, right?
Rock a Die Baby (1989)
ReplyDeleteMaybe the worst Horror anthology ever made.
Halloween 3 Season Of The Witch (1982)
ReplyDeleteI wanna see Atkins fight Michael Myers
From Dusk Til Dawn (1996)
ReplyDeleteI say 'From Smiles Til Grins'
Pieces (Mil Gritos Tiene la Noche) (1982) (with FTM! commentary)
ReplyDeleteWait, what? So that's not Bud Spencer?
Pieces (1982)
ReplyDeleteMike Pence helps make investigations great again.
JeruZalem - Take these broken wings, and fly again....
ReplyDeleteDaybreakers 2009
ReplyDeleteDo pushups for child vampire suicide awareness.
Devils Backbone - Nothing witty to say - its just amazing
ReplyDeleteNightbreed 1990
ReplyDeleteTurns out David Cronenberg is a dick!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
ReplyDeletePardon, but there's engineer in my chili.
The Omega Man (1971)
ReplyDeleteIs this a madhouse? IT'S A MADHOUSE!!!
The Invitation (2015)
ReplyDeleteNorm Gunderson is a real wet blanket.
The Exorcist (1973)
ReplyDeleteDude, those bells are, like, totally tubular.
Pieces (1982)
ReplyDeleteSaw this twice now, thank you FThisMovie!
Body Bags (1993)
ReplyDeleteA who's who of Scary Movie Month
Craven's a natural, Raimi's a bit stiff.
DeleteThe Shining (1980)
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you have another drink, dad?
Slither (2006)
ReplyDeleteAnd there's no goddamn fuckin' Mr. Pibb!
Torso (1973)
ReplyDeleteTITS MUSTACHES BONE SAWS TITS DOLLS TITS
In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
ReplyDeleteThis Weekend! Hobbs End RibFest! Apocalypse Monday!
The Fury (1978)
ReplyDeletePrepare mentally to have your mind blown
Graveyard Shift (1990)
ReplyDeleteRats - why are they Brad Dourif's enemy?
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeleteMy only weakness is that Elsa Lanchester.
28 Days Later - Brendan Gleeson with the dead eye stare
ReplyDeleteHauntedween (1991)
ReplyDeleteAMAZING! Frat haunted house goes terribly wrong.
I'm Not a Serial Killer (2016)
ReplyDeleteMorgue can bring your true self
The Death Kiss (1933)
ReplyDelete"Don't get the doctor, George. He's dead."
The Windmill (2016) (watched 1am last night but still wanted to post)
ReplyDeleteReally uneven. Practical effects. Faces get blasted.
Rubber(2010)
ReplyDeleteWhen rubber meets the road things die
Dawn of The Dead (1978)
ReplyDeleteThe priest has one leg? Never noticed.
Pieces (1982) (With Ftm commentary)
ReplyDeleteThese aren't my keys!? (Wha waaahh) Krendel!!!
Trouble Every Day (2001)
ReplyDeleteDEAR GOD!! Fuck it, I still would.
28 Weeks Later (2007)
ReplyDeleteMagic blood saves day, everyone still dies
The Fog (1980)
ReplyDeleteIt's a Halloween salad, with spectral dressing.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1986)
ReplyDeleteCourse correction: Freddy's Revenge latently gay. Gasp!
Pieces (1982)
ReplyDeleteHere's when waterbeds went out of fashion.
Elvira Mistress of the Dark (1988)
ReplyDeleteLike a 90 minute sexual harassment video.
Blue Sunshine (1978)
ReplyDeleteWhoa, this acid tastes just like cancer.
The Manitou (1978)
ReplyDeleteMy back fetus itches...and hates whites.
Critters (1986)
ReplyDeleteHow does this movie have three sequels?
The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014)
ReplyDeleteGrandma loses her mind, goes full Spano.
Pet Sematary (1989)
ReplyDeleteThank God no one buried Zelda there.
The Shallows (2016)
ReplyDeleteSteven Seagull is my new spirit animal.
Honeymoon (2014)
ReplyDeleteWe watched this in a cabin - mistake
Baskin (2016): The makeup on Mickey Rooney was amazing.
ReplyDeleteTerror Train (1980)
ReplyDeleteOne conductors battle against a college virgin.
Trick r Treat 2007
ReplyDeleteSo much Cleavage I need some tissues!
Sleepaway Camp (1983) (With Ftm commentary)
ReplyDeleteWhich one of you brought corn water?
Children of the Corn (1984):
ReplyDeleteKing Joffery panders to the Religious Right.
The Gift (2015):
ReplyDeleteI shoulda listened to Brad Jones sooner!
The Lazarus Effect (2015)
ReplyDeleteDon't they know Sometimes dead is better?
Victor Frankenstein (2015)
ReplyDeleteIgor instead of Fritz? But Fritz rules!
WNUF HALLOWEEN SPECIAL (2013)
ReplyDelete80s kids: WATCH THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
The boy (2016): I should've watched people under the stairs
ReplyDeleteThe Curse of the Plywood (2015)
ReplyDeletePiece of plywood stalks nudists? I'm in!
The Amityville Horror (1979):
ReplyDeleteMargot Kidder was a stone cold fox.
Fright night 2 1988
ReplyDeleteHoly shit! I forgot about RollerSkating Vampires
The Purge: Anarchy (2014)
ReplyDeleteNice to see Carpenter still making movies
Idle Hands (1999)
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, I just get hairy palms.
DON'T GO IN THE WOODS (1981)
ReplyDeleteBatter up -- it's Sleeping Bag Pinata time.
Pieces (1982) w/ Fthismovie commentary
ReplyDeleteShudder account has been justified early on.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
ReplyDeleteHeather's narration is scarier than the witch.
The New York Ripper
ReplyDelete"Essence of things lies in subtlety" "Bullshit"
Possession (1981)
ReplyDeleteDon't cry over spilt milk. Not pretty.
Hatchet II (2010)
ReplyDeleteA J'S decapitated while he Ray Js.
Video Violence (1987)
ReplyDeletePlease adjust tracking, then hit eject. Thanks.
Prom Night (1980)
ReplyDeleteCurtis scream underutilized, disco dancing utilized perfectly.
Tales from the Crypt (1972) and The Vault of Horror (1973):
ReplyDeleteNone of them knew they were dead.
La Cabina (1972)
ReplyDeleteRedbox' original business model was less successful.
The Relic (1997)
ReplyDeleteA likeable Sizemore performance? Surely you jest.
Hand of Death (1962) [youtube] - John Agar sucks....life out of people.
ReplyDeleteDracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteBetter than I remembered. Renfield's the man!
BLOODY BIRTHDAY (1981)
ReplyDeleteNot used to screaming "KILL THOSE KIDS!"
Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
ReplyDeleteFrank to Sandra: "Over here's the window..."
Scanners (1981)
ReplyDeleteBest head explosion in history of cinema
What We Do in the Shadows (2015) dir. Taika Waititi
ReplyDeleteHollywood is finally embracing alternative sandwich love.
Under the Shadow (2016)
ReplyDeleteWho knew Djinn's get under my skins?
The Amityville Horror (2005) [comettv] - Faux The Shining with more kids...blah.
ReplyDeletePIECES (1982)
ReplyDeleteCalling this crazy is selling it short.
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteThis guy is doing a terrible Dracu-Doug.
'We Need to Talk About Kevin' (2011)
ReplyDeleteDamn, WB. Flash's origin story is dark.
The Burning (1981) (With Ftm commentary)
ReplyDeleteReally want a Big Mac right now.
Eraserhead (1978)
ReplyDeleteMy brain has been Lynched...gang Lynched.
ParaNorman
ReplyDeleteWatched with my parents. Delightful horror homage!
The Neon Demon (2016):
ReplyDeleteOne helluva start to Scary Movie Month.
Final Destination (2000)
ReplyDeleteDEATH: Want to play Mousetrap? ME: Nah...
The Omega Man(1971) Moses versus Neville...who wins that fight?
ReplyDeleteThe Witch (2015)
ReplyDeleteRabbits and rams lead to flying fun.
Kuroneko (1968)
ReplyDeleteSamurai learn never to mess with pussy.
10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)
ReplyDeleteIncredibly tense thriller, and WOW THE ENDING
Jaws (1975)
ReplyDeleteActually alcohol does save lives, from sharks!
The Legend of Hell House (1973)
ReplyDeleteDramatic close-ups. Possession. Roddy McDowall slow burn.
The Hole (2009, Joe Dante)
ReplyDeleteKnew I was right in fearing pools
The Shallows (2016)
ReplyDeleteSeriously shark whale carcass right over there!
The Night Flier (1997) - Stephen King Marathon
ReplyDeleteRed eye flights may cause neck pains.
The House of The Devil (2009)
ReplyDeleteFor the next eclipse, I'ma stay home...
The Devil Inside (2012)
ReplyDeleteTo see ending, go to website. What???
Holidays (2015) dir. I'm not gonna name everyone (by segment)
ReplyDeleteValentine's Day - Markie Mark did it better in Fear.
St. Patrick's Day- Dad has great hair, like Markie Mark.
Easter - "I think we just found bunny Jesus"
Mother's Day - "Trying to birth the Antichrist?"
"Whaaaaat? Nooooo!"
Father's Day - Voiceover more wicked awesome if Markie Mark.
Halloween - Kevin Smith's writing as subtle as Entourage.
Christmas - Shamelessly rips off plot of Daddy's Home.
New Year's - I've had worse first dates............Markie Mark.
Blood Punch (2014)
ReplyDeleteProps, props, props, forshadowing for the daft.
From A Whisper To A Scream (1987)
ReplyDeleteOld Benjamin Button gives sister last bath.
Misery(1990)
ReplyDeleteIt's true...Misery surely does love company.
As Above, So Below (2014)
ReplyDeleteZed didn't die, baby. Zed didn't die.
The Invisible Man (1933)
ReplyDeleteRude fake nose floats about town, tormenting
Pieces (1982):
ReplyDeleteIt's like Clue! Nevermind, it's that guy.
Cat People (1942)
ReplyDeleteFear of emotion portrayed by stuffed panther.
The Shining (1980)
ReplyDeleteJack Nicholson's crazy? That's so unlike him...
Ringu (1998, Japanese original)
ReplyDeleteConcept ripe for remake. To be continued...
Insidious (2010)
ReplyDeleteLipstick Demon was my nickname during college.
Young Frankenstein (1974)
ReplyDelete"To the lumber yard!" Kemp is gold.
Pieces (1982)
ReplyDeleteMike Pence's fear of women fever dream.
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeleteStill was better than my senior prom.
The Shallows (2016)
ReplyDeleteThe ballad of the unkillable Mr. Seagull.
The Descent (2005)
ReplyDeleteAn Alternate title: The Caves Have Ears
Most Likely to Die (2016) dir. Anthony DiBlasi
ReplyDeleteNo pun here. This movie is shit.
AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON (1981)
ReplyDeleteA naked American man stole my balloons.
Stephen King's Cat's Eye (1985)
ReplyDelete"Cat's Crash Fever" aka. "Ciggy Tar Lust"
DARLING (2016)
ReplyDeleteHilarious light-hearted remake of breakfast at Tiffany's
Horrors Of Malformed Men (1969)
ReplyDeleteSpectacular sequences of nonsense save this mess
The Fog(1980)
ReplyDeleteWeather report is in, death by fog.
Maniac Cop (1988)
ReplyDeleteWait... New York only has one? Ludicrous!
Tusk (2014)
ReplyDeleteJohnny Depp is unrecognizable as an iceberg.
The Descent 2
ReplyDeleteIconic blood pool is sequel's shit joke
TOURIST TRAP (1979)
ReplyDeleteThis sex doll infomercial killed my boner.
Pieces
ReplyDeleteMike Pence is a real dick...shadow.
The Grudge (2004)
ReplyDeleteLike Ju-On with mostly boring white people.
Shakma (1990)
ReplyDeleteShock the monkey? No. Incinerate the baboon.
Final Destination 3 (2006)
ReplyDeleteCame for M.E.W. Stayed for U.V. death.
Pieces (1983)
ReplyDelete"Bad chop suey"...Get it? GET IT????
Flesh For Frankenstein (1973)
ReplyDeleteAlways fuck life in the gall bladder.
Cat's Eye (1985)
ReplyDeleteOn edge, a ledge, high kitty milage
Cabin Fever(2002)
ReplyDeleteThe dissolving of friendships....quite literally yikes!
GHOSTHOUSE (1988)
ReplyDeleteCrazy, but more crazy woulda been welcome.
#31DaysOfHorror
ReplyDeleteHouse on Haunted Hill (1999)
Funhouse ride. Good scares, great KNB effects.
The Conjuring 2 (2016)
ReplyDeleteDemons, stealing Marilyn Manson’s look since 1980
Darling (2015)
ReplyDeleteDisney princess kills in black and white
Tokyo Gore Police (2008)
ReplyDeleteThis could've been avoided with peripheral vision
Final Destination 2 (2003)
ReplyDeletePointless, non-sensical mythology but kinda fun anyway.
The Mummy (1932)
ReplyDeleteI thought Brendan Fraser was in this?
The Sacrament (I tried to do this from my phone last night, so I'm sorry if this is a duplicate)
ReplyDeleteNo Jonestown For Old Men ... and fire!
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeleteMonster good. Tiny people in jars weird.
Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
ReplyDeleteFreddy got (drug filled hypodermic syringe) fingered.
Rosemary's Baby - This is why I don't want kids.
ReplyDeleteBone Tomohawk - This film truly releases your inner everything
ReplyDeleteOr even Bone Tomahawk
DeleteFirst thought regarding the reply: "What kind of douchebag needs to correct the spelling of Tomahawk right there?"
DeleteSecond thought: "Oh ..."
Child's Play (1988)
ReplyDeleteSAFETY RECALL NOTICE: May cause unnecessary sequelization
Neon demon - the fashion business is shallow, didn't know
ReplyDelete31 (2016)
ReplyDeleteNo way Midget Hitler survived previous games!
The Hitcher (1986)
ReplyDeleteWas Jennifer Jason Leigh taller after 1986?
Tales From the Darkside: The Movie (1990)
ReplyDeleteI didn't know Gargoyles are hopeless romantics.
The Devil's Backbone (2001)
ReplyDeleteWhat a weird sequel to Doctor Strangelove...
Scream: Edvard Munch would be so proud
ReplyDelete