Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)"Sawyer Family Recipe" chilli contains actual families
Jess Franco's FEMALE VAMPIRE (1975) on Amazon Prime for the first time.Rack-focus trophy wife's tits, bush. Print. Repeat.orDAMN! Blew my Junesploitation '17 load prematurely.
The Innkeepers (2011)Sara Paxton is just so damn adorable!!!
Anthony C. Ferrrante's SHARKANDO 3: OH HELL NO! (2015) on Netflix Instant for the first time.Slightly less plausible than potential Trump presidency.
Rawhead Rex (1986)Irish Power Rangers monsters are way meaner!
SCOUT'S GUIDE TO THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE (2015) on Amazon Prime for the first time.At least "Milk Money" had Ed Harris.
The Black Cat (1941)"What a puss! Like a lemon rinse!"
The Witches (1990)Pretty terrifying for a kids movie. Yikes.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)Actually, last summer, jerk murdered her friends.
Phantasm: Ravager (2015)They should have called it Phantasm: Reggie-ver!
You're next (2011)Brutal murders still have time for punctuation.
The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942):Guys, it'll be different this time, promise.
Repulsion (1965)Crazy good, non repulsive, Catherine Deneuve performance.
The Vampire Lovers (1970)Figuratively and Literally goes for the Boob.
DemonsThis movie pushed all my buttons simultaneously.
Pieces ( with Commentary )What's this Trumpence shit? Kence 4 life.
City of the Living Dead"Help! Zombies!" " I was thinking Kendall could..."Coming up next in my marathon.The Fly '86 for the first time cos I suck!In all seriousness, I love horror despite my large viewing gaps and have had a great few days. Not a bad movie in the bunch. Even Dressed to Kill which I didn't love, mostly due to my expectations, fuelled by Blow-Out, PotP and Carrie, has grown on me in the last 6 hours!
Southbound (2015)Demon Crossing, 10 miles. Toll? Your soul.
You´re next (2011)A very different kind of family reunion
The Fly 1986 for the first time.Excuse me, gotta pick up my jaw.
Dead Ringers (1988)Lesser Cronenberg, but two great Irons performances.
Maniac (1980)Nothing says first date like Clams Casino
Mist - Bug bite turns you into Rosie O'Donnel
Green Inferno - So bad, so very very very bad.
Maniac (2012) - Frodo makes you dead as a Dodo.
The Thing - Ah ah ah ah staying alive....bugger(CPR chest compressions should be given to the tempo of the chorus to Staying Alive....)
An American Werewolf in London (1981)Fantastic movie...really ends with a bang!
'Don't Go in the House' (1979)Gives new definition to the "burning bush".
The Mind's Eye (2015) :Begos is Carpenters and Cronenbergs love child
Let Sleeping Corpses Lie AKA The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue (1974)Great police work saves the day again.
Hellraiser 4: Bloodline18th century France is not in space.
Hellraiser 5: InfernoOk, love buddy cops. Where is Pinhead?(oh Jesus, I'm half way through. 3 was actually good, but this is getting ridiculous. If I don't see it through now, I never will. Onwards and upwards, as they said in the Last Battle, although C.S. Lewis probably wouldn't approve of ANYONE marathoning the Hellraiser series.)
Pieces with F This Movie commentaryHuman Cigarette Christopher George, Human Dynamo Kendall.
Shrew's Nest (2014)With great sewing skills comes great responsibility
Halloween H20Michael Myers 5 minutes for icing...JGL.
'Rabid' (1977)Rose is the "bone claws" of vampires
'Shivers' (1975)Tim Allen, star of Canadian condo infomercials
Odd Thomas (2013)Quoting one of the greats - "It's fine"
The Chosen (2015) Choose not to watch this generic crap.
They Look Like People (2015)... Yet they smell like Cool Ranch Doritos.
House of Dark Shadows (1970)Character development: Please watch the television show
Late Phases (2014)The Last Starfighter retirement plan kinda sucks.
The Grotto (2014) The filmmakers' excuse for vacation in Italy.
Christine (1983)Climb a tree! Cars can't climb trees!
Wolf Creek (2005) Head on a stick? What's .... Oh. Ohhhhhh.
The Witch (2016)Hmm I vvonder vvho the vvitch vvas.
Blood For Dracula (1974)European virgins are as common as vampires
Dracula (1931)Can't wait for the final showdown! Oh.
Blair Witch (2016)Coming around the corner, don’t freak out.
Vampires (John Carpenter, 1998)Karate Kid III's villain bursts into flames
Creepshow 2 (1987)Myers, Freddy, Leatherface, Pinhead, Jason... Chief Wood'nhead.
When a Stranger Calls (2006)Holy shit they paid by the minute!
The Uninvited (2011)Best possible version of "Pitch Perfect 3"
Child's Play 3 (1991)That barber's way creepier than the Chuckster.or:My favorite in the series. Judge me.
Retribution (1987)We need more movies about gangster possession
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Event Horizon (1997)Welcome to Hell, hello to Jason Isaacs.
Tales From The Hood (dir. Rusty Cundieff, 1995)Hashtag black dolls lives matter!! Too soon?orRacist politician? Not these days... Ohh wait...
Goosebumps (2015)Can't decide - entertaining trifle or ingenious commercial?
The Descent 2005 Fuck! I didn't know I was Claustrophobic
Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows (2000)Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows sucks!
The Gift (2015)I dont really like that monkey mask
Hellraiser 7: DeaderCan't think of anything more freaking "deader".
Cabin Fever (2016)Garbage. Stupid. Terrible. Mean. Tone Deaf. Fuck.
The ShiningHopeless,just see Bullshit conspiracy theories now
Trilogy of Terror (1975)Lassard is a better doctor than commandant.
Cronos (1993):This is why you read the instructions.
Patrick (1978)He's still waiting for his hand job.
Hellraiser 6: HellseekerThis is porn level acting. Without sex.
Ghoulies III: Ghoulies go to College (1991) I knew I should've majored in Ghoulie.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986): Leatherface just wanted to hear "Free Bird."
30 Days of Night (2007)Claugh wahab bagh mekhh ma oahb screeeeeeeee!
Southbound (2015)Amen? Right? We say amen after prayer?
The Tommyknockers (1993) Stephen King Marathon Tommyknockers, the leading cause of tooth decay.
Hush (2008)Annoying voices keeping it down 'Til Tuesday
Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator (1989) Suffers from lack of incinerators and stuffing.
Jaws: The Revenge(1987)About a shark struggling with deep resentment?
Hellraiser 8: HellworldThe ending is much better than expected.
Army of Darkness (1992)Oh to peek inside the Rami's minds?
The Monster Squad (1987)Who are you?.... We're The Monster Squad.
Creepshow(1982)Someone please get dad the goddamn cake
The Cabin in the Woods (2012) dir. Drew GoddardClever deconstructionism makes my husband's bulge turgid.
Hatchet II Wait, so how's there a Hatchet III?
Lake Mungo (2008)Dateline and Paranormal Witness have a baby.
Theater of BloodI, for one, would not've been murdered.
Phantasm: Ravager (2016)Those silver balls get bigger and bigger
Young Frankenstein Cloris Leachman: the best of all time.
Signs (2002):That's why I never finish my water!
Day of the Dead (1985)Rhodes makes some valid points, you know?
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)Anyone else hearing that Edith Piaf song?
Young Frankenstein (1974) Great seeing this on the big screen!
Dark Was the Night (2014)Marital problems? Call in a CG monster.
Sleepaway Camp (1983)Strangest aspect of movie: well done score.
The Reef (2010)Expecting cheesy fun. Got true story terror.
Haunted Honeymoon (1986)My honeymoon is soon. I'm a werewolf.
Attack on Titan the Movie: Part 1 (2015)Critically important: Kaiju fans don't miss this.
Hatchet III Okay seriously, how is this gonna work?
Dawn of the Dead (2004)Needs Schwarzenegger shouting "Get to the boat!"
Hellraiser 1987I'm doomed, I'm really bad at puzzles.
Night of the Creeps [Director's Cut] (1986):Everybody should answer the phone "Thrill Me!"
The Innkeepers (2011)Maid in Manhattan 2: Basement Romance
28 Days Later (2003)Hello? Hello? Hello? Oh shit! Run! Run!!!!
Bubba the Redneck Werewolf (2016)I know Wolfcop. You are no Wolfcop.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)This didn't kill Jack Black's career...crazy!
Green Room (2015)Oh shit, Patrick Stewart is a Nazi!
Gremlins (1984)Microwave dinner has a whole new meaning
976-Evil (1988)Give a call! Charges apply, boredom awaits.
THE PURGE: ELECTION YEAR (2016)Rich white men still suck, I guess.
Pieces: makes my balls hurt even more (see review of The Seperant and the Rainbow)