In trying to keep up with SMM, whilst also avoiding spending Nov/Dec apologizing to my wife for neglecting the family, I've brought her along side me for some of them.
In her first viewing of "Big Trouble in Little China" (1986) I compiled her seven-word review by synthesizing her commentary through out the movie:
Christopher Lee in TORTURE CHAMBER OF DR. SADISM (1967) on Amazon Prime for the first time.
ReplyDeleteMore like "Count Dooku's Shameless Paycheck Grab."
Little Shop of Horrors (1986):
ReplyDeleteFirst time seeing original ending. It's depressing.
Eaten Alive! The Rise and Fall of the Italian Cannibal Film (2015)
ReplyDeleteGerman producers requested sodomy scenes? Not surprising.
Curse of the Fly (1965)
ReplyDeleteSequels don't come much stranger than this.
Universal Horror (1998 documentary)
ReplyDeleteA better Branagh movie than his Frankenstein.
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteReally, it is not #scarymoviemonth without it.
In A Valley of Violence (2016)
ReplyDeleteTi's Western? Most laughs Since "Blazing Saddles"!
Murders in the Rue Morgue (1932)
ReplyDeleteApe carries lady up building before Kong!
Aliens (1986)
ReplyDeleteMore Aliens than in Alien - less Spaghetti.
Let the right one in (2008)
ReplyDeleteNot really scary, still very good horror.
Lifeforce (1985)
ReplyDeleteOffer space vampire a biscuit? Deservedly bitch-slapped.
The Devil's Carnival (2012):
ReplyDeleteIt's rough and the songs aren't great.
Halloween (1978):
ReplyDeleteClassic movie. Sleep. Then back to musicals.
Bride of Frankenstein
ReplyDeleteWant to be JB's neighbour in Monsterland.
Friday the 13th Part III
ReplyDeleteStill don't know if Debbie actually pregnant
Why are you trying to diminish Jason's good work?
DeleteI say he gets a twofer!!!
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken (1966)
ReplyDeleteThis is Universal horror in the sixties.
Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008)
ReplyDeleteToo early to request the #SMM2017 Commentary?
The Mist(2007)
ReplyDeleteWhen hope seems lost....wait five minutes.
Fender Bender (dir. Mark Pavia, welcome back!! 2016)
ReplyDeleteSometimes it pays not to have insurance...
or
Not trust Bill Sage since Mysterious Skin.
* trusted
DeleteBefore I Wake (2016)
ReplyDeleteButterflies, prettiest of all harbingers of doom
Tokyo Gore Police (2008)
ReplyDeleteFilmmakers: "We're totally extreme! Script? What script?"
Saw (2004)
ReplyDeleteMom called it "psychologically taut".
He Knows You're Alone (1980)
ReplyDeleteThank God they used the correct "you're".
Wishmaster (1997)
ReplyDeleteWish they'd make some sequels... SWEET! ... Oh.
Ghosts of Mars (2001)
ReplyDeleteUgh! What the hell am I watching?
The Shallows (2016)
ReplyDeleteGossip Girl Should've stayed in the city
Bone Tomahawk (2015)
ReplyDeleteCrunch, Quiet, Crunch, Quiet, Quiet, Crunch, Bang!
Funny Games (1997)
ReplyDeleteMade to condemn those who love violence.
Funny Games (2007)
ReplyDeleteMade to reward those who hate subtitles.
The Tall Man (2012)
ReplyDeleteJessica Biel: too hot to be appreciated.
The Damned (2013)
ReplyDeleteDamned if I'll ever watch this again.
Anguish (1988)
ReplyDeleteA prequel to the Dark Knight Rises.
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)
ReplyDeleteReggie's journey to get his dick wet.
Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998)
ReplyDeleteThese boobs aren't fake! They're actually balls!
In trying to keep up with SMM, whilst also avoiding spending Nov/Dec apologizing to my wife for neglecting the family, I've brought her along side me for some of them.
ReplyDeleteIn her first viewing of "Big Trouble in Little China" (1986) I compiled her seven-word review by synthesizing her commentary through out the movie:
"Kurt Russell! Mortal Kombat? Seems pretty racist..."
...needless to say, she liked it.
Anguish (2015)
ReplyDeleteNetflix, why's this tearjerker drama under "Horror"?
Lights Out (2016)
ReplyDeleteI can't decide: Yankee Candles or Suicide?
The Burbs (1989)
ReplyDeleteRumsfeld, a neighborhood watch kind of guy.
Rosemary's Baby (1968)
ReplyDeleteThat cop should break all the news.
Cabin in the woods
ReplyDelete£5 on Redneck Zombie torture family, #BrexitBudget
Wishmaster 2 (1999)
ReplyDeleteIt's pure Andy but the picture disappoints.
Subspecies (1991)
ReplyDelete"Well, hello, Angus Scrimm!" *pause* "Um... bye!"
The Exorcism of Molly Hartley (2015)
ReplyDeleteFriedkin and Blatty better call their lawyers.
The Crazies(2010)
ReplyDeleteThis virus also causes black friday madness
Last House On The Left (1972):
ReplyDeleteLeast funny buddy cop movie ever made
Freaks (1932)
ReplyDeleteAn eggcellent way to end a movie.
House of Exorcism (1974)
ReplyDeleteTaxidermy rabbit gives the movie's best performance.
The Wolf Man (1941)
ReplyDeleteWanna go out?
No!
8:00 it is!
The Pit and the Pendulum (1961)
ReplyDeleteToo much Luanna and not enough Barbara!
Phantasm: Ravager (2016)
ReplyDeleteBalls, balls, balls, b-b-b-b-balls, balls, balls.........balls
I am Not a Serial Killer (2016)
ReplyDeleteTakes one to know one, boy detective.
Cujo (1983)
ReplyDeleteRoll over Beethoven...good boy....uh oh
Ouija (2014)
ReplyDeleteWhat's good to say here? Lin Shaye
Ginger Snaps (2000)
ReplyDeleteSmart movie about a teenagers adolescent tail.
The Wolf Man (1941)
ReplyDeleteLon plus half-afro equals Benicio
1408 (2007) - Stephen King Marathon
ReplyDeleteDid he even think about the cleaners.
Misery
ReplyDeleteThe stuntman couldn't even walk through snow????
Lights Out (2016)
ReplyDeleteThis movie made my cat jump...twice.
Blow Out (1981)
ReplyDeleteNo way I’m wearing a wire, Travolta.
A Girl Who Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)
ReplyDeleteLonely Vampire? Find a skateboard and cat.
Mirrors (2008)
ReplyDeleteWait, what? C'mon! Is this a bit?
Intensity (1997 made for TV - 2 part Mini-Series)
ReplyDeleteTV movie?! One of the best, ever.
Don't Breathe (2016)
ReplyDeleteAre turkey basters ever actually used properly?
Unless you can come up with a better tool, don't criticize his methods.
DeleteFinal Girl (2015)
ReplyDeleteThe version of "Survivor" I'd actually watch.
Howl (2015)
ReplyDeleteEnglish werewolf movies rock. Oi! Oi! Oi!
The Shallows (2016) dir. Jaume Collet-Serra
ReplyDeleteTrump's feel good movie of the year!
-OR-
Third act gleefully presented by The Asylum.
Emilie (2015)
ReplyDeleteShould've used tampons to plug plot holes
* Emelie
DeleteThe Strangers (2008)
ReplyDeleteUnbearably tense, then bunch of stuff happens
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
ReplyDeleteGhoulies III aside, Kevin McCarthy's best film.
The Devil and Daniel Webster (1941)
ReplyDeleteToo much Daniel Webster, not enough Devil!
Xtro (1982)
ReplyDeleteWeird midget murder clown? Sure, why not?!
YES
DeleteThe Dark Half (1993)
ReplyDelete"He's my dark half. Hey, that's catchy..."
Fatal Pulse (1988)
ReplyDeleteEvery hairstyle from my 7th grade girlfriends.
Mirror Mirror (1990)
ReplyDeleteGuys, does this count as watching Mirrors?
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane
ReplyDeleteTrump should try to grab her pussy
Best review ever
DeleteBooya! :-D
DeleteThe Raven (1963)
ReplyDeleteCorman fabricates feature length Bewitched episode.
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDeleteAt 70 minutes, it feels like 90.
Bloody Birthday
ReplyDeleteAccording to my horoscope, this movie stinks.
Phantasm: Ravager (2016)
ReplyDeleteSlaughterhouse Five of Phantasm movies. Balls joke.
Evilspeak (1981)
ReplyDeleteApple - spreading Satanism since the early eighties.
Shock Waves (1977)
ReplyDeleteThis island hotel is to die Führer.
The Witch (2015)
ReplyDeleteKate Dickie breastfeeding never goes quite right
Poltergeist (2015)
ReplyDeleteAbsence of Sam Rockwell dancing; movie failure.
Absence of adding anything original: movie failure
DeleteTHE BATTERY (2012):
ReplyDeleteShould have sacrificed that chicken to Jobu.
Happy Hell Night (1992)
ReplyDeleteOnly Halloween themed Horror film of 1992?
Rock and Roll Nightmare (1987)
ReplyDeleteDemons in rubber masks hate hair metal.
Yor plays gladiator metal on the weekend.
DeleteTerrortory (2016)
ReplyDeleteAnthology builds and builds to blowjob joke.
Spoiler! :)
DeleteThe Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)
ReplyDeleteThe secret ingredient is surely more cocaine
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
ReplyDeleteThomas Jane would've just shot them all
Garfield's Halloween Adventure (1985)
ReplyDelete"Halloween's my middle name... Gar Halloween Field!"
It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966) rewatch
ReplyDeleteLucy's on her own TV Guide's cover!
Ghost of Mars (2001)
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say? Hey Beastmaster On!
BEYOND DARKNESS (1990)
ReplyDeleteGhosthouse was a better La Casa entry.
WITCHERY (1988)
ReplyDeleteLinda Blair. The Hoff. You'd watch it.
Bugs Bunny's Howl-oween Special (1978) 6/10
ReplyDeleteWait, does Daffy Duck have a son?
Hellraiser (1987)
ReplyDeleteGlad I never complated my rubix cube.
That's funny
DeleteInvasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
ReplyDeletePods finds their way across the Sutherland.
Wishmaster (1997) : Proving Adam wasted money on a ring.
ReplyDeleteThe Fog (1980)
ReplyDeleteTom Atkins...the ladies man strikes again!
THE HOUSE THAT DRIPPED BLOOD (1970)
ReplyDeleteAmicus anthology brings Cushing, Lee, and pastels.
Forgot to post this last night:
ReplyDeleteDog Soldiers (2007)
Guts hanging out? Grab some super glue.