James Whale's FRANKENSTEIN (1931) on TCM.Befriending monster, very sink or swim proposition.
James Whale's BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935) on TCM.Inspiring rebellious goth/punk youth since 1935.
The Asylum's ZOOMBIES (2016) on Netflix Instant for the first time. "Jurassic Park" plus zombie monkeys equals MEH!
Insidious (2010): The Further seeks body. All welcome; BYOB.
Phantasm: Remastered (2016): Get your balls out of my face!
The Woman in Black (2012): More like, "Want My Time Back", right?
Hush (2016): Lady is deaf. Luckily, killer is moron.
Swamp Thing (1982): Who wore it best? Seaweed wrap runway!
Night of the Living Dead (1968) first viewingFollowing zombie attack, stay out of windows
Darkness Falls (2003)Sets up rules, then breaks them all
Friday the 13th Pt 2The pre-sex crotch perfume of horror movies
Phantom of the Opera (1925)Or The Phantom in the Friend Zone
Stage Fright (2014):Once again, it was a mercy killing.
Slither (2006)Michael Rooker still kinda looks the same
The Hunger (1983):The studio really fucked up that ending.
The Thing(1982)See it if you haven't, its brilliant.
The Loved Ones (2009)How protective are your ribbed condoms now?!
Carnival of Souls (1962) bad script. Bad driving.
The Blob (1988) Kevin Dillon's '80s hair is my everything.
Phantasm: Ravager (2016)For the fans. Guess I'm not one.
Blood Diner (1987) The Man With Two Brains meats Frankenstein.
HolidaysNever go anywhere with a talking rabbit
The Omen (1976):Atticus Finch would have handled this better.
XtroDaddy you're home, take me with you.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)Fun movie to watch with the kids.
Return of the Living Dead (1985)Those brains actually do look quite delicious
'Black Sunday aka The Mask of Satan aka Revenge of the Vampire' (1960)I'll pass on the Italian facial exfoliation
'Phantom of the Paradise' 1974Like 'Rocky Horror' without the loose air
X-Ray (1982) aka Hospital MassacreDid Barbi Benton ever reached her deductible?
Peelers (2016, Spooky International Horror Film Fest)The baseball puns are fucking overwhelming. Strippers.
Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)80s mentally challenged acting = douche chills.
Body Parts (1991)Boo hoo! Alex Murphy had it worse.
The Funhouse (1981) Want spinoff sequel starring the two-headed cow.
Take my money!
The Burning (1981)Bedtime checklist: pajamas, flammable sheets, gas can.Alfred still won't get any at Ridgemont.At least all the rapists get killed.
Wolf Creek (2005)D'ya come from the land down under?
The Battery (2012)I'd prefer the zombies over this douchebag.
Trick or Treats (1981) Attention, teenage girls: Never babysit on Halloween.
Tales from the Hood (1995)One of my favorite horror films ever.
Hannibal (2001):You guys think Clarice kept his hand?
Angst (1983)Aka: Murder, Murder, Murder, and More Murder!
Brides of Dracula (1960)Cushing crushes comically conventional Count with crucifix!
Body Parts (1990)Give my left arm for a Blu-ray.
The Midnight Hour (Re-watch as it has become an October tradition, Made for TV, Aired on ABC, Nov.1, 1985)Possibly the best Halloween movie ever, period.and Slo-mo kill to a Smiths song. Incredible.
That flick scared the SHIT OUT of me as a kid. Love it.
Mr. Jones (2013)Dating Game: Mr. Jones, meet Blair Witch.
Sarah Jones is so freakin' hot. Sorry to comment on seven word reviews, I just can't contain myself with her. I really liked this flick too.
Now I don't feel so bad for creeping her acting history afterwards. Enjoyed the movie too, did some interesting things with the genre.
Phantom of the Megaplex (2000) Wasn't expecting a dragon to show up.
Quarantine (2008)Total shocker: remake didn't improve on original...
Young Frankenstein (1974)Garr hot. Wilder great. Feldman hilarious. Blucher!!!
The Legacy (1978)Lucas saw this and went...this guy.
The Blob (1958)Shouldn't have poked it with a stick.
Psycho III (1986)Poor Norman Bates can't catch a break.
also:Black humored, badly ADR'd, ironic one-liner dispensary.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)No scares, plenty stupid...Leatherface confirmed cross-dresser
28 Days Later... (2002)Horny dudes are the LITERAL monsters here.
The Burning, new 4k remaster on the big screen, epic Hang on! 70s bush in the 80s
Hell Night (1981) Is surfing monologue taught in acting classes?
The Devil's Rain (1975)Legitimately unnerving and creepy. Great cinematography/lighting.
Knock knock (2015)There's no such thing as free pizza.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)Michael Bay will never be J.J. Abrams'Member Leatherface! Yeah, yeah I 'member! - 'member berries from South Park
Xtro (1982)Billed "Woman In Cottage"?!?!? Call your agent.
The Dark Half (1993):Cantankerous creation causes swirling sparrows ravenous ripping.
Dead of Night (1945)You rarely hear "subconscious thingamajigs" these days.
THE FUNHOUSE (1981)Showing my girl because it fucking RULES.
The Shallows(2016)"Stay outta the high grass"...wrong movie.
Jennifer's Body (2009)"Succubus?" More like, "Succu-bi!" am I right? #DoucheyWink
The Blob (1958)Wish I was a teen in 1958.
Xtro (1982)Pour the Kool-Aid. I've joined the cult.
yep!
Have not seen it for 34 years. Afraid it won't live up to expectations.
Tusk (2014)I am the walrus ... no wait seriously?
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)*Carl* the hunchback? That's a stupid name!
Lights out (2016)At least their electric bill is $5.
Don't Torture a DucklingFulci's got some issues with Donald Duck.
Damien: Omen II (1978)Damien Thorn's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Yes!
The VVitchA goat's never even offered me margarine
It FollowsCheckmate: just have sex with the monster
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)I love it. Love it. Love it.
Vamp (1986)So Grace Jones is playing herself, right?
Darling (2016)Those eyes. Oh... holy fuck, those eyes!
Misery (1990) - Stephen King MarathonAnd Misery The Pig never worked again.
The Neon Demon (2016)You are what you eat... except beautiful.
The Descent"Why don't you just ask for directions"orThrill seeking women terrorize cave dwelling community.
Friday the 13th (1980)At least Michael Myers stalked via Steadicam.orPoor Kevin Bacon just wanted to dance.or Most suspenseful coffee-making scene put to film.
The Neon Demon (2016)Did witches really have to kill bitches?
The Shining (1980) dir. Stanley KubrickAll work? YOU'VE DONE ZERO WORK! #entitled
True. What a waste! He could've gotten just as much done in an cubicle. #officedaydreamer
In the Mouth of Madness (1994) What kind of name is "Sutter," anyway?
The Phantom Carriage (1921):Could be called "It's a Wonderful Death".
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)Liebesman displays Bay like talent, except shittier
Black Friday (1940)Lugosi goes Christmas shopping in dark closet.orLugosi's a fine actor, no hypnosis required.
Wolfman (1979) [you tube]Where? When? Why? Did enjoy "Plywood Manor"orHairy guy inherits curse...gets (impressively) hairier.
The Babadook (2014)Love conquers all, even child abuse sometimes.
Cat People (1942)A bit disappointing. More melodrama than horror.
Coraline (2009): She has such a cute button . . . eyes?
Monkey Shines (1988)Romero movie just doesn't feel like Romero.
Evil Laugh (1988)Joey from Friday V directed, references Jason.
We Are What We Are (2013)But they still won't eat their vegetables.
Rush Week (1989)Way overlooked college slasher! Great tension.
At the Devil's Door (2014) dir. Nicholas McCarthyAll my irrational fears about parenthood confirmed.
2001 Maniacs (2005)Unbelievably campy, likable cast, solid effects, boobs
Night Ripper! (1986) (yes, exclamation point is in the title on on the title card!)My fascination with SOV Horror continues. Fantastic!andCan't write quips for an obscure movie.
Sorry, fixing errors from earlier post
Friday the 13th part VI: Jason Lives (1986)Horshack told you not to, but no...
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)Lovecraft through Carpenter...pure and utter bliss!
Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla (2013)Goodie, another "obsessive loner goes psycho" movie. :(
The Mothman Prophecies (2002)The internet told me this was scary :(
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Final Conflict (1981) aka The Omen IIIA boring conclusion to the Damien trilogy.
Hellions (2015)Might have something to do with Samhain.
Jaws (1975)Anytime is a good time for Jaws.
Even watching at a beach house pre- night swim? Yeah, right!!!
Kiss of the Vampire (1963)Actually, the vampires don't do much kissing.
The Greasey Strangler Basically a 90 minute Adult Swim show
Housebound (2014)Exfoliating facial scrub good but cheese grater.
Return of the Living Dead (1985)Brainssssssssssssssss!!! Brainsssssssssssss!!! Brainssssssssssssssss!!! Brainsssssssssssss!!! Sorry...I'm tired.
NIGHT OF THE COMET (1984)Watch it. Celebrate it. Love it. Repeat.
The House by the CemeteryThings Fulci Hates: Donald Duck, Eyes, Children
DREAMSCAPE (1984)Snake Man shoulda eaten Tommy's stupid face.
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)Texarkana texarcannot stop living in the past.
My little eye 2002Danny's smelling knickers and making pussy bread
The Blair Witch Project (1999)Bear Grylls would have made it out.
The Omen (1976)Yep. What I thought it would be.
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956)Usually classics are classics for a reason.
The Witch (2015)Dammit, shoulda seen it in the theater!
CreepshowDoes this even need reviewed? Come on!
Green Room (2015)Never listen to Nazis after a murder.
James Whale's FRANKENSTEIN (1931) on TCM.
ReplyDeleteBefriending monster, very sink or swim proposition.
James Whale's BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935) on TCM.
ReplyDeleteInspiring rebellious goth/punk youth since 1935.
The Asylum's ZOOMBIES (2016) on Netflix Instant for the first time.
ReplyDelete"Jurassic Park" plus zombie monkeys equals MEH!
Insidious (2010): The Further seeks body. All welcome; BYOB.
ReplyDeletePhantasm: Remastered (2016): Get your balls out of my face!
ReplyDeleteThe Woman in Black (2012): More like, "Want My Time Back", right?
ReplyDeleteHush (2016): Lady is deaf. Luckily, killer is moron.
ReplyDeleteSwamp Thing (1982): Who wore it best? Seaweed wrap runway!
ReplyDeleteNight of the Living Dead (1968) first viewing
ReplyDeleteFollowing zombie attack, stay out of windows
Darkness Falls (2003)
ReplyDeleteSets up rules, then breaks them all
Friday the 13th Pt 2
ReplyDeleteThe pre-sex crotch perfume of horror movies
Phantom of the Opera (1925)
ReplyDeleteOr The Phantom in the Friend Zone
Stage Fright (2014):
ReplyDeleteOnce again, it was a mercy killing.
Slither (2006)
ReplyDeleteMichael Rooker still kinda looks the same
The Hunger (1983):
ReplyDeleteThe studio really fucked up that ending.
The Thing(1982)
ReplyDeleteSee it if you haven't, its brilliant.
The Loved Ones (2009)
ReplyDeleteHow protective are your ribbed condoms now?!
Carnival of Souls (1962) bad script. Bad driving.
ReplyDeleteThe Blob (1988)
ReplyDeleteKevin Dillon's '80s hair is my everything.
Phantasm: Ravager (2016)
ReplyDeleteFor the fans. Guess I'm not one.
Blood Diner (1987)
ReplyDeleteThe Man With Two Brains meats Frankenstein.
Holidays
ReplyDeleteNever go anywhere with a talking rabbit
The Omen (1976):
ReplyDeleteAtticus Finch would have handled this better.
Xtro
ReplyDeleteDaddy you're home, take me with you.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
ReplyDeleteFun movie to watch with the kids.
Return of the Living Dead (1985)
ReplyDeleteThose brains actually do look quite delicious
'Black Sunday aka The Mask of Satan aka Revenge of the Vampire' (1960)
ReplyDeleteI'll pass on the Italian facial exfoliation
'Phantom of the Paradise' 1974
ReplyDeleteLike 'Rocky Horror' without the loose air
X-Ray (1982) aka Hospital Massacre
ReplyDeleteDid Barbi Benton ever reached her deductible?
Peelers (2016, Spooky International Horror Film Fest)
ReplyDeleteThe baseball puns are fucking overwhelming. Strippers.
Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)
ReplyDelete80s mentally challenged acting = douche chills.
Body Parts (1991)
ReplyDeleteBoo hoo! Alex Murphy had it worse.
The Funhouse (1981)
ReplyDeleteWant spinoff sequel starring the two-headed cow.
Take my money!
DeleteThe Burning (1981)
ReplyDeleteBedtime checklist: pajamas, flammable sheets, gas can.
Alfred still won't get any at Ridgemont.
At least all the rapists get killed.
Wolf Creek (2005)
ReplyDeleteD'ya come from the land down under?
The Battery (2012)
ReplyDeleteI'd prefer the zombies over this douchebag.
Trick or Treats (1981)
ReplyDeleteAttention, teenage girls: Never babysit on Halloween.
Tales from the Hood (1995)
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite horror films ever.
Hannibal (2001):
ReplyDeleteYou guys think Clarice kept his hand?
Angst (1983)
ReplyDeleteAka: Murder, Murder, Murder, and More Murder!
Brides of Dracula (1960)
ReplyDeleteCushing crushes comically conventional Count with crucifix!
Body Parts (1990)
ReplyDeleteGive my left arm for a Blu-ray.
The Midnight Hour (Re-watch as it has become an October tradition, Made for TV, Aired on ABC, Nov.1, 1985)
ReplyDeletePossibly the best Halloween movie ever, period.
and
Slo-mo kill to a Smiths song. Incredible.
That flick scared the SHIT OUT of me as a kid. Love it.
DeleteMr. Jones (2013)
ReplyDeleteDating Game: Mr. Jones, meet Blair Witch.
Sarah Jones is so freakin' hot. Sorry to comment on seven word reviews, I just can't contain myself with her. I really liked this flick too.
DeleteNow I don't feel so bad for creeping her acting history afterwards. Enjoyed the movie too, did some interesting things with the genre.
DeletePhantom of the Megaplex (2000)
ReplyDeleteWasn't expecting a dragon to show up.
Quarantine (2008)
ReplyDeleteTotal shocker: remake didn't improve on original...
Young Frankenstein (1974)
ReplyDeleteGarr hot. Wilder great. Feldman hilarious. Blucher!!!
The Legacy (1978)
ReplyDeleteLucas saw this and went...this guy.
The Blob (1958)
ReplyDeleteShouldn't have poked it with a stick.
Psycho III (1986)
ReplyDeletePoor Norman Bates can't catch a break.
also:
DeleteBlack humored, badly ADR'd, ironic one-liner dispensary.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)
ReplyDeleteNo scares, plenty stupid...Leatherface confirmed cross-dresser
28 Days Later... (2002)
ReplyDeleteHorny dudes are the LITERAL monsters here.
The Burning, new 4k remaster on the big screen, epic
ReplyDeleteHang on! 70s bush in the 80s
Hell Night (1981)
ReplyDeleteIs surfing monologue taught in acting classes?
The Devil's Rain (1975)
ReplyDeleteLegitimately unnerving and creepy. Great cinematography/lighting.
Knock knock (2015)
ReplyDeleteThere's no such thing as free pizza.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
ReplyDeleteMichael Bay will never be J.J. Abrams
'Member Leatherface! Yeah, yeah I 'member! - 'member berries from South Park
Xtro (1982)
ReplyDeleteBilled "Woman In Cottage"?!?!? Call your agent.
The Dark Half (1993):
ReplyDeleteCantankerous creation causes swirling sparrows ravenous ripping.
Dead of Night (1945)
ReplyDeleteYou rarely hear "subconscious thingamajigs" these days.
THE FUNHOUSE (1981)
ReplyDeleteShowing my girl because it fucking RULES.
The Shallows(2016)
ReplyDelete"Stay outta the high grass"...wrong movie.
Jennifer's Body (2009)
ReplyDelete"Succubus?" More like, "Succu-bi!" am I right? #DoucheyWink
The Blob (1958)
ReplyDeleteWish I was a teen in 1958.
Xtro (1982)
ReplyDeletePour the Kool-Aid. I've joined the cult.
yep!
DeleteHave not seen it for 34 years. Afraid it won't live up to expectations.
DeleteTusk (2014)
ReplyDeleteI am the walrus ... no wait seriously?
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDelete*Carl* the hunchback? That's a stupid name!
Lights out (2016)
ReplyDeleteAt least their electric bill is $5.
Don't Torture a Duckling
ReplyDeleteFulci's got some issues with Donald Duck.
Damien: Omen II (1978)
ReplyDeleteDamien Thorn's A Series of Unfortunate Events
Yes!
DeleteThe VVitch
ReplyDeleteA goat's never even offered me margarine
It Follows
ReplyDeleteCheckmate: just have sex with the monster
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
ReplyDeleteI love it. Love it. Love it.
Vamp (1986)
ReplyDeleteSo Grace Jones is playing herself, right?
Darling (2016)
ReplyDeleteThose eyes. Oh... holy fuck, those eyes!
Misery (1990) - Stephen King Marathon
ReplyDeleteAnd Misery The Pig never worked again.
The Neon Demon (2016)
ReplyDeleteYou are what you eat... except beautiful.
The Descent
ReplyDelete"Why don't you just ask for directions"
or
Thrill seeking women terrorize cave dwelling community.
Friday the 13th (1980)
ReplyDeleteAt least Michael Myers stalked via Steadicam.
or
Poor Kevin Bacon just wanted to dance.
or
Most suspenseful coffee-making scene put to film.
The Neon Demon (2016)
ReplyDeleteDid witches really have to kill bitches?
The Shining (1980) dir. Stanley Kubrick
ReplyDeleteAll work? YOU'VE DONE ZERO WORK! #entitled
True. What a waste! He could've gotten just as much done in an cubicle. #officedaydreamer
DeleteIn the Mouth of Madness (1994)
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of name is "Sutter," anyway?
The Phantom Carriage (1921):
ReplyDeleteCould be called "It's a Wonderful Death".
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
ReplyDeleteLiebesman displays Bay like talent, except shittier
Friday the 13th (1980)
ReplyDeleteAt least Michael Myers stalked via Steadicam.
or
Poor Kevin Bacon just wanted to dance.
or
Most suspenseful coffee-making scene put to film.
Black Friday (1940)
ReplyDeleteLugosi goes Christmas shopping in dark closet.
or
Lugosi's a fine actor, no hypnosis required.
Wolfman (1979) [you tube]
ReplyDeleteWhere? When? Why? Did enjoy "Plywood Manor"
or
Hairy guy inherits curse...gets (impressively) hairier.
The Babadook (2014)
ReplyDeleteLove conquers all, even child abuse sometimes.
Cat People (1942)
ReplyDeleteA bit disappointing. More melodrama than horror.
Coraline (2009): She has such a cute button . . . eyes?
ReplyDeleteMonkey Shines (1988)
ReplyDeleteRomero movie just doesn't feel like Romero.
Evil Laugh (1988)
ReplyDeleteJoey from Friday V directed, references Jason.
We Are What We Are (2013)
ReplyDeleteBut they still won't eat their vegetables.
Rush Week (1989)
ReplyDeleteWay overlooked college slasher! Great tension.
At the Devil's Door (2014) dir. Nicholas McCarthy
ReplyDeleteAll my irrational fears about parenthood confirmed.
2001 Maniacs (2005)
ReplyDeleteUnbelievably campy, likable cast, solid effects, boobs
Night Ripper! (1986) (yes, exclamation point is in the title on on the title card!)
ReplyDeleteMy fascination with SOV Horror continues. Fantastic!
and
Can't write quips for an obscure movie.
Sorry, fixing errors from earlier post
DeleteFriday the 13th part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
ReplyDeleteHorshack told you not to, but no...
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
ReplyDeleteLovecraft through Carpenter...pure and utter bliss!
Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla (2013)
ReplyDeleteGoodie, another "obsessive loner goes psycho" movie. :(
The Mothman Prophecies (2002)
ReplyDeleteThe internet told me this was scary :(
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Final Conflict (1981) aka The Omen III
ReplyDeleteA boring conclusion to the Damien trilogy.
Hellions (2015)
ReplyDeleteMight have something to do with Samhain.
Jaws (1975)
ReplyDeleteAnytime is a good time for Jaws.
Even watching at a beach house pre- night swim? Yeah, right!!!
DeleteKiss of the Vampire (1963)
ReplyDeleteActually, the vampires don't do much kissing.
The Greasey Strangler
ReplyDeleteBasically a 90 minute Adult Swim show
Housebound (2014)
ReplyDeleteExfoliating facial scrub good but cheese grater.
Return of the Living Dead (1985)
ReplyDeleteBrainssssssssssssssss!!! Brainsssssssssssss!!! Brainssssssssssssssss!!! Brainsssssssssssss!!! Sorry...I'm tired.
NIGHT OF THE COMET (1984)
ReplyDeleteWatch it. Celebrate it. Love it. Repeat.
The House by the Cemetery
ReplyDeleteThings Fulci Hates: Donald Duck, Eyes, Children
DREAMSCAPE (1984)
ReplyDeleteSnake Man shoulda eaten Tommy's stupid face.
The Town That Dreaded Sundown (2014)
ReplyDeleteTexarkana texarcannot stop living in the past.
My little eye 2002
ReplyDeleteDanny's smelling knickers and making pussy bread
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
ReplyDeleteBear Grylls would have made it out.
Black Friday (1940)
ReplyDeleteLugosi goes Christmas shopping in dark closet.
or
Lugosi's a fine actor, no hypnosis required.
The Omen (1976)
ReplyDeleteYep. What I thought it would be.
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956)
ReplyDeleteUsually classics are classics for a reason.
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956)
ReplyDeleteUsually classics are classics for a reason.
DREAMSCAPE (1984)
ReplyDeleteSnake Man shoulda eaten Tommy's stupid face.
The Witch (2015)
ReplyDeleteDammit, shoulda seen it in the theater!
Creepshow
ReplyDeleteDoes this even need reviewed? Come on!
Green Room (2015)
ReplyDeleteNever listen to Nazis after a murder.