Monday, April 17, 2017

F This Movie! 382 - The Fate of the Furious

Patrick and Adam Riske turn their backs on family.



Download this episode here. (41.8 MB)

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Also discussed this episode: Meet the Deedles (1998), Five Came Back (2017), 13th (2016), Take Me Home Tonight (2011), Win It All (2017), Inserts (1975)

46 comments:

  1. I really like the running thread of mothers not telling fathers about their children in these movies. This is, what, the third time in four movies? I really hope there's a scene in 9 where Tyreese learns Ludacris is his son.

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    1. Do you think Cipher is pregs too?

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    2. Yes, she was immaculately conceived by Dom's natural charisma and charm. Part 10 is going to be a family drama about the ethics of raising a child that you are supernatrually responsible for. Eventually, Dom accepts responsibility and Cipher moves into the spare bedroom. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be really great.

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    3. And then the family forms a circle and shoots Care Bear rainbows out of their stomachs at her and she turns into a good guy. The End.

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    4. Early word had it that the cold open to 9 is the gang visiting Han's grave while Jason Statham waits in the car, nervously chewing gum.

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    5. And he's playing "Sorry" by Beyonce

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  2. Haha that would be gold. Someone needs to get these ideas to big Vin. Maybe the next one will be super topical, and we find out the whole crew has CTE from all the concussions they've sustained from getting into a weekly car accident (and the Rock's days Miami), and they've all just forgot that Han was even dead.

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    1. I want Han to have an identical twin brother who goes after Jason Statham.

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    2. Sean Seoul-Oh? Driving home from the theater yesterday I did have a thought of Dom escorting Deckard to a car to be driven to the airport, except that Lucas Black was hiding in the backseat waiting for him. "Hello, Deckard" then he just garrotes him to death.

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  3. Cipher felt like a more inept version of Blofeld in Spectre. It's just that where Blofeld is revealed to have successfully (and ridiculously) set up the all the events of the previous few Bond movies, Cipher reveals that she just keeps having her plans disrupted by Dom & Crew like she's the Dr. Claw of the F&F franchise.

    Also by the end of F&F 10 I expect Cipher and the corpse of Johnny Tran to be at the BBQ. Also maybe throw Liam Hemsworth in there if Scott Eastwood can't make it for some reason.

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    1. I am all for a Silver Medal Hemsworth over Clearance Bin Eastwood.

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    2. Not looking forward to the Pacific Rim sequel I take it?

      Even Scott Eastwood's picture on IMDB seems baffled as to why it's there.

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    3. The only modern-day Kaiju movie I need is Colossal. I'm not much of a Pacific Rim guy.

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    4. Is it true that you called Rob the Scott Eastwood of Fthismovie when he showed up at F This Movie Fest, and then told everyone that he was a terrible tradeoff for Doug?

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    5. Don't invent a wedge between Rob and I. Our friendship is strained as much as it can bear right now. The dude made me watch Table 19!

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    6. At the very least, I'm the Ramsey of FTM. And I didn't like Table 19 either!

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    7. Table 19 will forever be your cross to bear. It's your G-D's eye device.

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    8. Nah, if Rob's the Ramsey of FTM, it means I have to LIKE Ramsey. Boo! (Although, Rob is VERY pretty....)

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  4. Aw, you guys sound so disappointed. I only saw Fast the Furious 1. I was kinda-sorta babysitting a kid a little younger than myself. I was "supervising". So I was like NOT SURE I should be taking him to see it but I came out thinking "okay that's fine, you can watch that." I understood the family-barbecue appeal could even be good for him. The relationships seemed genuine, the women were valued. I was crushing a little on that manic character, Jesse (just looked up his name again), which, looking back, I understand; that's the kind of character teenage girls will crush on. I agree with you that it felt (the first one) authentic and informed by different cultures. Sad that it became so generic.

    I saw Paul Walker in real life, in his car, and I was in my car, kind of stuck in traffic going different directions at a beach park. AND UM he was kind of checking me out! I was like HELLO Paul Walker, are you kind of checking me out? Well, I did look cute that day and I was like only 20, so. :)

    The way you're disappointed reminds me of how disappointed I was in Snow White & The Huntsman's 2nd movie. It lost it's interesting stuff because it like totally lost its roots. (Also, Charlize Theron was AWFUL. She's really hit or miss for me.) It's so sad that that's what happens with sequels. I'm sorry for our loss :(

    Yes, Scott Eastwood is dull and uninteresting. But perhaps you don't understand how hot he is. I mean, he belongs in SO many music videos.

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    1. What? You kinda saw Paul Walker?

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    2. Are you sure it wasn't Walker's disembodied face on someone else's body? They did that in Furious 7, and it was very convincing.
      ;)

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  5. Oy, that turn of Statham. Zero sense at all to that whole plot point and it made me more and more annoyed as the movie goes on. (That said, I like the turn to tech thriller, but that's a matter of personal taste.)

    As for Scotty Eastwood, he's like the definition of innocuous to me and I'd rather have had back Nobody's assistant from 7.

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    1. Yeah! Nobody's assistant in Furious 7 was worth bringing back. That actor was Paul Walker's stunt double in the movie too. Now he's on Fuller House so....yeah.

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  6. I think I liked it a bit more than you guys, but I wasn't a massive fan either. Hoping it will grow on me like Furious Seven did. I loved the prison fight too, and the affection Dom and Letty had for each other in that opening scene just made me smile. And Charlize Theron is weird from like, her very first scene. Is that the only time they talk about fate in the movie? God the conversations about fate are dumb. Also, hacking scenes will never be cinematic, please stop, movies.

    Also that 4Dx guy story made me laugh so hard ahaha It's so perfect that Riske had already seen the movie.

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    1. Young John Connor hacking the ATM in T2 was acceptable. Any amount of hacking beyond that is too much, unless the movie is Tron.

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  7. that movie is the Spectre of the Fast&Furious series. somebody important is the brother of somebody else important in the series. and we bring back (almost) everything that was ever said and done in the series.

    also, the maori dance at the beginning was wrong on so many levels, it took me out of the movie.

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    1. I saw this as more akin to "Captain America: Civil War" than "Spectre", in that Cypher wasn't someone who claimed to be behind the scenes pulling strings the whole time, because of some longstanding beef with Toretto and his crew, but was more of an unintended consequence of recent prior actions. Cypher was more like an "always bad" Baron Zemo than a Blofeld. Regarding the entire Coach Hobbs scene near the beginning, I agree there. That was like a scene spliced in from a cuddly Dwayne Johnson movie, perhaps called "Disney's Red Dragons" or "Disney's Agent: Dad". And the moment I saw the close-up of Dwayne Johnson's face paired with the intense motivational speech, I thought, "He's talking to a bunch of kids right now." And, yep. This has been done enough that its a trope. I didn't dislike this movie. However, the two biggest issues for me were, (1) the "let bygones be bygones" attitude toward the Shaws for the deaths of Han and Gisele, and (2) the assumption by Team Toretto, right off the bat, that Toretto had "gone rogue". With the Shaws, I can maybe buy that Team Toretto and the Shaws came to view each other as pawns in a larger game, and therefore grudges shouldn't be held. But, with Dom's betrayal, and everything these people have been through, it's incredulous that everyone else's first thought is, "Dom's gone rogue," instead of, "Somebody's gotta be forcing Dom's hand. We need to find out what's going on, so we can fix this."

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  8. YES! Mr. Riske recommended watching the series in reverse order, which is what I've done (only 1 left to go).
    It must have been my instincts kicking in, and totally not because some idiot told me the first ones weren't very good.

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  9. I'm with you, Adam, on bad entries in beloved franchises. A guy I used to work with and I, Botha Star Wars nerds, idled away many a long evening quoting Jake Lloyd. "Are you an angel?" "Now this is pod racing!" It was always one of those two that would be first, and then we'd be off. Good times.

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  10. You know the Prometheus effect you guys mention? I had a ton of fun watching Fate, but as I listened to your (deserved criticisms) the movie fell apart before my very eyes. It was an hour of a smile slowly fading as I stared blankly into the distance.

    On the plus side, you clarified a problem I've had for the last 2 movies that I could not quite put my finger on: if I never see another command center in a Fast movie it'll be too soon

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  11. I was listening to this on the walk to work this morning when it got to Adam's description of the second viewing he had and his buddy in front who was disappointed that the brothers didn't turn on each other. When Adam relived the gent's reaction to Little Brian's I started laughing openly in the street like some sort of methed out psychopath. Fantastic podcast as always. I love that you are both always dropping the names of other film podcasts you are listening to whilst reigning supreme on the best one going.

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  12. I just watched all 7 movies (first time I've ever done a Fast marathon) and I am ready to go see Fast 8 this afternoon. Looking forward to listening to the show afterwards. I've avoided a ton of spoilers and reviews, trying to go in fresh.

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  13. Well they did the whole 'omg, they're doing Blofeld!' thing. I thought the movie was perfectly fine. It did it's job and was entertaining enough for me. I however did not care for the New York City scene, it took me out of the movie for a while. If you liked Furious 7, then you proabably really liked this one. I wasn't the biggest fan of Furious 7 and after watching it again this morning, I still did not like it. I found 8 a lot more interesting and put together than 7. After watching all 8 movies in the past 24 hours this is my order: 5-6-1-4-8-7-3-2

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  14. Loved it but I love you guys too so hey. It felt Brosnan era Bond and I liked that, and Tomorrow Never Dies is awesome. I thought the opening sequence was just enough of that old flare to keep me happy.

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  15. I'm a soft touch when it comes to these movies and yet...I don't know, I had fun for awhile, watching with that goofy Fast & Furious grin presumably brought on by millions of brain cells spontaneously combusting, but then the impossible happened and my credulity was stretched past its breaking point and I got a little bored. Kinda got back into it for the ending but still, overall a disappointment. SPOILER(?) - I saw the "Brian" thing coming a mile away but I still liked it.

    Most emotional part of the night was when I got in my car after the movie, turned it on and the radio was playing "See You Again" - I'm not one to chalk that up to anything more than a sweet coincidence but it made me tear up a bit. I really missed Paul Walker in this movie - I'm not sure my heart will ever be in the franchise the same without him. :(

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    1. I couldn't agree more with your comment. I'm more and more of a wreck every time I see that last scene in F7 and/or hear "See You Again". They really did that scene and song as perfect as they possibly could. After F8, I'm pretty much considering F7 the real end of the "saga". F8-F10 feel more like the reboot.

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    2. For sure. Something about Paul's energy brought such a nice balance to the overall vibe - they were Paul and Vin's movies. Now they're just Vin's movies and I found his schtick insufferable without Paul there to take the edge off.

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    3. Oh man, listening to the (great) podcast and have to comment on a great point. First, totally with you on The Rock, Adam. I went into it thinking, I fucking love The Rock and he's going to be what gets me through this in Paul's absence. Noooope. But then, Patrick, fantastic observation that The Rock is the physical manifestation of the franchise's "bigness". That just nails it. And when I was loving the movies, I was loving The Rock. Now that that bigness has pushed past my personal breaking point, The Rock has become the physical manifestation of what annoys me about the franchise.

      But who knows - I definitely liked 7 more on the second viewing, and there's no way I won't own F8 so maybe it will grow on me.

      And an aside - years ago I took over a former employee's cubicle and they had left a little sign on the wall that said "Happiness is the Management of Expectations" and I left it there because I think that's true. "I just want to go to work and come home and not be mad" might be the perfect mantra for a happy 21st Century American life.

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  16. Loved that we got a double dose of Adam Riske, one of my favorite guests. Thanks for the podcasts.

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    1. Thank you for listening and the kind words!

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  17. Spilner Toretto would definitely be played by a vine star.

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  18. Quick note... A google search into A.J. Langer found that she is now married to the 19th Earl of Devon(!!) in my homeland of the UK... Just thought i'd share...

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    1. I wonder if she and her husband ever socialise with Jamie Lee Curtis and Christopher Guest. If the conversation starts to drag, they can always talk about Grace Kelly or Rita Hayworth.

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