I think transformer movies Stockholm syndromed me. Battleship looked like a transformers movie only choreographed and paced 10x better with a coherent plot and characters that were not annoying or racist. I ended up loving the movie based off of those expectations.
Still do enjoy battleship after multiple viewings.. I wish transformers were as good as battleship...
Stir Of Echoes (1999, Dir: David Koepp)
ReplyDeleteA classic case of who-Dunn-it.
He he.
DeleteExcellent!
Glad to see the Dunnster getting a mention.
The Sorcerers (1967, dir. Michael Reeves)
ReplyDeleteKarloff turns mod into hypnotized thrill killer.
Happy Death Day (2017)
ReplyDeleteMovie's fun, just didn't sing for me
The Awakening (2011, dir. Nick Murphy)
ReplyDeleteMiddling, insulting, star-studded English ghost mystery.
One of my favs of 2011!
DeleteI never want to see another movie where somebody turns out to have been a ghost the whole time, ever.
DeleteHaha!
DeleteDon't Breathe (2016)
ReplyDeleteSo cops clearly don't look downstairs anymore.
THE BRIDES OF DRACULA (1960)
ReplyDeleteThe man was chained for a reason.
Or
Can a vampire be guilty of bigamy?
DR. BLACK, MR. HYDE (1976)
ReplyDeleteBlack scientist turns white; bad consequences follow.
Without Warning (1982)
ReplyDeleteAlso without plot, logic or a budget.
Interesting similarities to Predator, though. Also, Palance!
DeleteSilent Madness (1984)
ReplyDeleteBelinda Montgomery versus psycho killer… in 3-D!
"Hey, Cinderella!"
Delete"Yes?"
(axe swooshing sounds)
Suspiria (1977)
ReplyDeleteHeard behind me at a midnight screening
"How the fuck've I lived before this"?
Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 (1987)
ReplyDeleteGreat effects. Awesome score. So much hair!
The Sentinel (1977)
ReplyDeleteCrazy women has impeccable sense of style.
Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)
ReplyDeleteSo many seven words, so little time...
(but i'll go with this:)
Friday five the Howling two of series!.. ;)
Chopping Mall (1986)
ReplyDeleteBygone era mall security had huge budget
The Lost World (1925)
ReplyDeleteGrandaddy of both Kong and Jurassic Park
Long Time Dead (2003)
ReplyDeleteSomething's been dead for a long time.
This made me giggle!
DeleteNear Dark (1987)
ReplyDeleteHey look, it's the cast of Aliens!
Bone Tomahawk (2015)
ReplyDeleteThe way that man screams is terrifying.
Hard for me to hear over my own screaming.
DeleteClue (1985)
ReplyDeleteSee, Battleship, see?! It CAN be done!
I think transformer movies Stockholm syndromed me. Battleship looked like a transformers movie only choreographed and paced 10x better with a coherent plot and characters that were not annoying or racist. I ended up loving the movie based off of those expectations.
DeleteStill do enjoy battleship after multiple viewings.. I wish transformers were as good as battleship...
Battleship was fun. I don't understand the hate it gets.
DeleteThe Snowman (2017)
ReplyDeleteMichael Fassbender's character is named "Harry Hole."
Death Spa (1989)
ReplyDeleteA cross between HAL and Mary Lou
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965)
ReplyDeleteMany strong candidates for the ultimate British-off.
The Dark Half (1993)
ReplyDeleteStephen King likes to write about writers.
Or....
Hey! They stole that from Venture Brothers....
Dracula 2000 (2000)
ReplyDeleteYa'll be haters, movie's legit for real.
The Majorettes (1987), *done in Gene Shalit's voice*
ReplyDeleteMore like The MINORettes, I say!
Oh no! It's no good? I've been wanting to see it since Jackson recommended it.
DeleteAlso, Gene Shalit always shoots himself after a quippy review. Always.
I know where Jackson's coming from...it does take a left turn into some survivalist action near the end. But oh boy you have to work to get there.
DeleteWhatever else anyone says about this movie, I've got two words that prove them wrong: Tiffany Brissette.
DeleteThe Devil's Honey (1986)
ReplyDeleteSome sexy sax sex then sign off.
Amityville II: The Possession (1982)
ReplyDeleteAn excellent day for divorce, Italian style
Alternatively:
DeleteEntire family is Janet Leigh in Psycho
Sombre (1998, dir.)
ReplyDeleteArtful but trite 'intellectual' serial killer shenanigans
but
The 'Brown Bunny' of sexual psycho psychodramas.
aw christ, that's dir. Philippe Grandrieux.
DeleteHalloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
ReplyDeleteBrady is a sub-Kevin Dillon in 1988.
Cabin In The Woods (2012)
ReplyDeleteWhat's real? Are the woods even real?
Hell House LLC (2016)
ReplyDeleteThere's Paranormal Activity at Blair Witch Hotel.
The Blackcoat's Daughter (2017)
ReplyDeleteGruesomely great. You just got Shipka-ed, lady.
Lifeforce (1985)
ReplyDeleteNo joke. Just see this movie now.
Tales of Halloween (2015)
ReplyDeleteRuins candy more: blood or being prechewed?
Final Destination 5: The Final Destination (2011)
ReplyDeleteWait? That's the real title, isn't it?
American Mary (2012)
ReplyDeleteClients less demented than professors.
Hush (2016)
ReplyDeleteThat house had a lot of windows.
The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015)
ReplyDeleteDads never express themselves clearly.
The ABCs of Death (2012)
ReplyDeleteReally pushes the "50% good segments" rule
Leprechaun in the Hood (2000)
ReplyDeleteMy friendship with Mike is in danger.
Just do the Hellraiser movies. :D
DeleteThe Monster Club (1981)
ReplyDeleteThe only monsters are humans and musicians.
Alison's Birthday (1981)
ReplyDeleteMovie séances never end well, do they?
Get Out (2017)
ReplyDeleteOnce you go black please go back.
Darling (2015)
ReplyDeleteMoody woman and moody movie. Very enjoyable.
Sometimes They Come Back (1991)
ReplyDeleteTeacher? Dead brother? GREASERS? It's Stephen King.
From Beyond the Grave (1974)
ReplyDeleteNo graves or mention of spacial relation.
Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)
ReplyDeleteTime to invest in better water filtration...
Carnival Of Souls (1962)
ReplyDeleteScary ghost or Mr. Linden? Ghost, please.
House On Haunted Hill (1959)
ReplyDeleteHouse for sale: great location, not haunted
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeletePoor Tommy, his hair couldn't save him.
The Golem (1915)
ReplyDeleteThat kid’s lucky there was no lake...
Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
ReplyDeleteChocolate bars have never seemed less appealing.
The Thing (1982). Arrow 4K! Holy crapping crap! The best!!
ReplyDeleteI recommend the commentary.
DeleteBlackwater Valley Exorcism (2006)
ReplyDeleteYeah... I just played with my cat.
Needful Things (1993)
ReplyDeleteWhat's that shop do for Black Friday?
The VVitch
ReplyDeleteDamn I chopped a lot of wood
The Invitation
ReplyDeleteExpensive wine is overrated,
Gimme a Budwieser
Inferno (1980)
ReplyDeleteMoral, don't be a dick to cats
Jigoku (1960)
ReplyDeleteGlad to see overactors go to hell.
Die Watching (1993)
ReplyDeleteThis director likes blondes more than Hitchcock.
The Wolf Man (1941)
ReplyDeleteChaney as wolf and Ankers as fox.
God Told Me Too (1976)
ReplyDeleteRichard Lynch's chest vagina is my kink.
One of the best chest vaginas.
DeleteRight up there with Woods' in Videodrome.
Also, neat Andy Kaufman cameo.
The Phantom of the Opera (1925)
ReplyDeleteSometimes you just need a classic film.
Bad Taste (1986)
ReplyDeletePeter Jackson... Peter Jackson directed this thing...
Tenebrae (1982)
ReplyDeleteForget switchblade combs, I wanna blood razor!
Chatroom (2010)
ReplyDeleteNakata's British internet fear thriller. Somewhat interesting.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920): My sanity was pierced by the walls.
ReplyDeleteThe Babysitter (2017)
ReplyDelete"So THATS the origin story of McG!"
Shivers (1975)
ReplyDeleteIt's like my freshman dorm but sluttier.
1922 (2017) Dir. Zak Hilditch
ReplyDeleteRat death scene directed by Paul Verhoven.
Piranha 3D (2010)
ReplyDeleteFace versus boat propeller, propeller always wins.
Alien - Took thirty years and Prometheus to appreciate.
ReplyDeleteAliens - In 2183, marine quotes 1980 AC/DC lyric.
Prometheus - Excellent visuals, sound, documentary. That is all.
Alien: Covenant - Blu-ray extra features are better than movie.
Phantasm (1979)
ReplyDeleteLater: "Shotgun Hammer" wins local science fair.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
ReplyDeleteI'd be done. Cabbage makes me sleepy.
Green Room (2015)
ReplyDeleteNazi punks DO need to fuck off.
The Devil's Candy (2015)
ReplyDeleteI know a devil's tough but sweet...
30 Days of Night: Dark Days (2010)
ReplyDeleteIt’s got bite! ... ... just kidding, it sucks.
Poltergeist (1982)
ReplyDeleteThis house is clean...well, tomorrow. Promise.
Happy Death Day (2017)
ReplyDeleteRun Tree! Branch out, leave that college!
The Witch (2015)
ReplyDeleteFirst re-watch and still think it's great!
Because it is great
DeleteThe Shining (1980)
ReplyDeleteLike THE REVENANT, only this bear finishes.
This wins. This wins the whole month.
DeleteFright Night (1985)
ReplyDeleteI was feeling the club this year.
Cujo (1983)
ReplyDeleteNot horror…it’s clearly a dogachological thriller.
Stephen King's IT (1990)
ReplyDeleteExpectations exceeded, loved the cast, solid storytelling
The Thing: Terror Takes Shape (1998 documentary)
ReplyDeleteRob Bottin's enthusiasm for filmmaking is infectious.
IT (2017)
ReplyDeleteMixed bag, had me, then lost me
Tales of Halloween (2015)
ReplyDeleteFlaming dog shit bear trap, I lol'd.
Sleepaway Camp 2: Unhappy Campers (1988)
ReplyDeleteAlly lands stud: star soccer player / saxophonist.
House of the Devil (2009)
ReplyDeleteWhy I stay home during an eclipse.
Masters of Horror: Jenifer
ReplyDeleteThis tv series doesn't get enough love.
The Innkeepers (2011)
ReplyDeleteSomeone dies in your hotel? Burn it.
Wishmaster (1997)
ReplyDeleteLoving Lil Lemmon's double gold chain chokers.
Tales of Halloween (2015)
ReplyDeleteMore like, Tales of Awesome Horror Cameos
Terminator
ReplyDeleteDuring love scene, theater patron exclaims, "Sperminator!"
(True story)