Hide and Seek (2005, Dir: John Polson)Oh shit, daddy is method acting again.
Frankenstein (1931)Little girl worse swimmer than Jason Voorhees.
this is gold
1922 (2017)Different well than The Ring; same problem.
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)Young ladies murdered by drill guy. Meh.
Curtains (1983)Actresses check in but don't check out
1922 (2017)Dern farm's cursed. I've lost everythin'. Rats!
Attack the Block (2011)American version: aliens land, all instantly shot.
Psycho II (1982)Hitchcock would have been proud.
Black Christmas (1974)Fellatio? I barely know her.
Daughter of Darkness (1990) Wasn’t expecting Sloane Peterson: The College Years.
Blood Feast (1963)Like bad community theater of the damned
Fright Night (1985)Who doesn't know how to kill vampires?
Ghost Watch (1992)WNUF Halloween Special before it was cool.
The Love Witch (2016)Choose Elaine Parker: Making Chemistry Sexy Again!
Frankenstein (1931)Old mill burned down by Antifrank protesters.
That’s really funny
*bows deeply, then falls off balcony and flops loosely against blades of windmill*
Creep (2014)Found Footage with Jump Scares: The Movie!
Village of the Damned (1995)Town suffers neck injuries from phoning in.
Prevenge (2016)Look Who's Talking remake? Better than original.
House on Sorority Row (1983) An ending as familiarly illogical as F13
HA! That clown things was bananas, in all the right ways
Blair Witch (2016)Witch runs out of victims, invents time-travel.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)Does the chili stay in the trophy?
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)Was it really the chem department’s fault?
Cabin Fever (2002)Poo water makes you CRAZY, MOIVIN GLAVIN!
Pet Sematary (1989)Yeah I wasn't planning getting kids anyway...
I wasn't planning on getting kids anyway....
Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984)Come for Price, stay for ghost sex.
Jurassic Park (1993)Best creature feature ever. OrFirst CGI heavy film, still the best.
YOU'RE NEXT (2011)Obvious influences from misheard EVE 6 lyrics.
Hahaa!!! Thats the goods
THE GUEST (2014)Dan Stevens can Be Our Guest anytime!
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)Man was his only weakness, all along.
Gerald’s Game (2017)Who, who, who let the dogs in?
Ghost House (1988) Scariest part: Gratuitous Simon Le Bon reference.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)Torture pillar would liven up any room!
Darling (2015)I want more low-fi, arthouse horror films.
Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)This actually happened to my friends cousin.
The Cottage 2008We're you staring at her tit's again?
Leprechaun in the Hood (2000)I’m so so so so so so sorry
The Bad Batch (2016) A Girl Walks Home Alone: Fury Road.
House of the Devil (2009)When'd she change into a red shirt?
Get Out (2017)Guess who's coming to invasive brain surgery
Friday the 13th part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)Jason takes his time getting to Manhattan.
House on Willow Street (2016)There's at least 50 more relevant titles.
The Witchfinder General (1968)Price's AsonOfABitch, but still rocks a hat.
Scream (1996)Blue balls drives crazy guys to murder.
Halloween (1978) with John Carpenter & Jamie Lee Curtis's commentaryFun hearing JLC getting scared by it.
The VVitch (2015)When Puritans stay pure, purity becomes putrid.
1922 (2017) Not King's dialogue. Didn't say "ayuh" enough.
Freddy vs Jason (2003)Finally technology allows for pinballing with Jason
The Burning (1981) Dir. Tony MaylemCropsy....not the only degenerate on set.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)No Witches, No Michael Myers, No Problem.
Wishmaster (1997)When designing Genie, look to the Armadillo.
Crimson Peak (2015)Love is a beautiful... what was that?
Candyman (1992)He's coming, hook, fur coat, and stingers
Sleepaway Camp (1983)I bet your mom was a doer.
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)Even murder investigation sex can become robotic.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre II (1986)Does Stretch qualify for horror's greatest shorts?OrHopper brings chainsaw to chainsaw fight. Smart!OrBill Nye is really different at home
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)Why is the killer bothering with this?
Lord of Illusions (1995)Merch stand was slow after Swann died.
Misery (1990)Ankle scene still horrific after Gerald's Game!
Still worse, I think. Gerald's Game's incident was sort of a victory.
Night of the Creeps (1986) Dir. Fred DekkerI'm not a beta! You're a beta!Beta's all vote for crooked Hillary! Losers!I'm an alpha! Say it. Say it!
Halloween (1978)Wait, this isn’t a Garry Marshall movie...
I love this so much.
Damn, did Ross just win the month?
Life (2017) Never seen an alien with purple underwear.
Psychos in Love (1987)When you want romance with your gore.
Suspiria (1977) Why do witches need razor wire anyway?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1972)Genius Hooper makes Texas seem less disturbing.
Dance of the Dead (2008)I wish my prom had zombies too.
The Monster Squad (1987)Who'ld thought Dracula so adept with dynamiteThe Creature was in it for twinkiesWolfman can reallly sneak up on youThe mummy unravelled easily, he"s all cottonFrankenstein's monster ready did go all Noonan
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)Groundskeeper gets 30 year pass on misogyny.
Alien (1979) What this story needs is a sequel.
Aliens (1986)What this story needs is a sequel.
Alien 3What the? This sequel needs a story.
Killer Clowns From Outter Space (1986)Scary Clowns less scary then actual clowns.
Corpse Bride (2005)Never got its due at Hot Topic.
Demon Night (1995)Puppet makes bad puns; Hollywood B-list murdered.
The CubeFinally a real world application for math.
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)Sorry Nightmare 4,I prefer this resurrection.
TrollGood scary movie outshined by shittier sequel.
Day of the DeadProfitic tale of Donald Trumps second term.
Halloween IIITom Atkins antics jumpstart feminism’s third wave.
Leprechaun Anyone notice how ridiculous this premise is?
The Gate (1987)Now everybody! Hold me closer tiny demon..
The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)No matter the creature, I always sympathize.
Freddy vs Jason (2003)Franchise fan service vs franchise fan service.
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