Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing in HORROR EXPRESS (1972, 88 min.) on Amazon Prime for the first time.Low-budget Spaniard "The Thing" aboard Hammer-like train.orDracula, Van Helsing, Kojak versus rubberless "Thing."orWTF's Telly Savalas doing here? Who cares?
HELL FEST (2018, 89 min.) in theaters for the first time.Perfect third-flick-in-a-week AMC A-List time-wasting #SMM burnout..orTony Todd's Baron Samedi act's a showstopper!
THE TWILIGHT ZONE MOVIE (1983, 101 min.) on DVD for the first time.Spielberg's underwhelms. Miller's rocks. Dante's/Landis'? KILLER!
The Dark Half (1993, Dir. George A. Romero) Joe Hallenbeck's wife sure does get around.
Ju-On: The Grudge (2002)I can’t even hide under my comforter!orJust burn it down. It is easy!
The Grudge - unrated (2004) That boy and house seems peculiar familiar.orBuffy where did all your friends go?
The Grudge 2 (2006) I’m beginning to think this isn’t Buffy.
Marrowbone (2017)"Anya Talor-Joy loves a broken boy."
Cargo 2017Hobbit goes walkabout because wife hated beard
From Beyond (1986)Eyehole brain slurping this year's acai berries
Phantom of the Opera (1989)Soup de la decapatation a touch saltyor Englund's face a roadmap to gory gothic
Red State (2011)Surely these folks would get presidential pardons.
FTW. Best review so far this month.
Don’t Answer the Phone (1980) Everything gross about 1970s in one movie.
Night of the CreepsMe: Don't worry, dear. He's gotta survive .
The Devil Rides Out (1968)Like Christopher Lee, this movies is immaculate
HALLOWEEN II (1981) Michael Myers haunts world's most empty hospital.
Haha I didn't even think of that.
Green Room (2015)Patrick Stewart is best when he’s evil.
Piranha 3DD (2012)These Jaws knockoffs also roar when attacking
Creep (2014)When found footage meets mumblecore makes mumble-kill
Aliens (1986)When will mom on mom violence end?!?
orDifferent Aliens, Predator too(2), same Bill Paxton
You made me realize how much I want to do an Aliens / Serial Mom double feature.
Jennifer's Body - 7 Hashtag Review#lesbigay #maggotrock #freaktarded #hellotitty #manscara #dillhole #wetty
Trouble Every Day (2001)Most effective abstinence video I've ever seen.
Practical Magic (1998)Feels made for United Airlines domestic travel.
mine is -I am upset by this adam riske
Tragedy Girls (2017) Social media is the real killer. Metaphor!
Demon Wind (1990)Wow, that magic act was sure random.
Survival of the Dead (2009)I'd totally shoot the kids. Just sayin.
Maggie 2015Well... not so sunshiny anymore, little miss!
I haven't seen this movie, but that made me laugh!
The Devil Rides Out (1968, dir. Terence Fisher)Here starring Christopher Lee as Peter Cushing!
Holidays (2016)Jesus Christ that's a creepy Easter Bunny
Cemetery of Terror (1985)Mexican zombie slasher movie somehow made boring.
Night of the Demons (1988)How? Only applesauce would make less sense.
Lifeforce (1985)Space vampires create zombies, happy October everyone!
Dracula: Prince of Darkness (1966) don’t hide secret torture chamber with rug
Murder Party (2007)I've been to worse parties, for sure.
Orca: The Killer Whale (1977)TFW you realize Richard Harris was 46...
The Blood on Satan's Claw (1971, dir. Piers Haggard)Favorite new-to-me movie so far.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) - first watchBrian Cox is just fantastic in everything!
yes he isthough i didn't care for the last third of the movie
XX (2017)Mothers and children and birthdays and monsters
The Predator (2018)STEREOTYPES!! GET YOUR NIFTY, FREE STEREOTYPES, HERE!!
Bad Moon (1996, dir. Eric Red)Why wouldn't a dog like a werewolf?
Mortuary (1983)Paxton always did throw some killer parties.
The Hitcher(1986) Taking tug of war to another level.
Creepshow 2: The Hitchhiker (87)Uber needs better background checks.
What We Do In the Shadows (2015)"What We Do In the Moonlight" please.
The Thing (82)Identify theft is a scary thing.
The Visit(2014) Granny has no tan lines....can't unsee.
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005, dir. Paul Schrader)Less gore equals worse movie. That's math.
Bram Stoker's Legend of the Mummy (1998)Mummy movies fucking suck. They just do.
Strange Behavior (aka: Dead Kids) (1981)Hope my son loves me that much..
Dead Alive(1992) When attachment issues lead to detachment tissues.
The Dead Zone (1983)Why didn't Christopher Walken shake Trump's hand?
Wishmaster (1997)"Just wanna take another look at you"
I imagine you lighting individual candles as "These Eyes" is playing softly in the background. The Blu-ray menu is up and the play option is highlighted as you sit in your recliner recliner AND....end scene! Lol
Ummmm...could you imagine something else instead???
Haha!! Ok so you just get home from a long day of being an awesome film critic. You open the door and you see a line of gin and tonics leading to what you can only guess is your bedroom. You follow the trail and what do you find!? Andrew Divoff as the Wishmaster in your bed and he says, " Wish granted!" END SCENE
Jason XSpace: the perfect temperature for crop-top sweaters
The Blob (1988) Kevin Dillon is better in Viking Quest
Friday the 13th Part II (1981) Dir. Steve MinerSorry, but Mark really shouldn't work here.
The House That Screamed (1970) Hard to scream with stiff upper lip.
SCREAM (1996)What else can I say...a game-changer.
Edge of the Axe (1988)Matter of time until Scream Factory Blu.
Mayhem (2017)I'd kill that guy without red eye.
Necronomicon: Book of the Dead (1993)Everything I hate about 90's horror films.
Lords of Salem (2012)"Nothing funny. I just love Rob Zombie."
Phenomena (1985, dir. Dario Argento)Don't uncover that mirror, Kiefer might appear!
The Monster Squad (1987)"Wolfman's got nards! And an identity crisis!"
What we do in the Shadows (2014):I hope Katherine is a basghetti fan.
Graveyard Disturbance (1987) Family that eats together REALLY eats together.
Someone’s Watching Me (1978) Eerie topicality is written on bathroom window
I Bury the Living (1958) Stop putting pins in the goddamn map!
Friday the 13th (2009) Dir. Marcus NispelMaster Electrician Jason defeated by "mom trick"
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2007)Micah sort of had it coming right?
The Blob (1988)Careful, it’s growing! It’s Kevin Dillon’s hair!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Part 2Secure beer rooms need steel walls too
Battle Royale (2000)This new Apple Choker doesn't look safe.
Happy Death Day (2017)You should die for refusing a cupcake.
Lifeforce (1985)George Lucas correct; no bras in space.
Trick 'r Treat (2007)Comic books? All I saw was pulp.
From Hell (2001)Captain Jack Sparrow and Hagrid's "before" picture.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)Dance, Leatherface, Dance! Show frustration through choreography!
The Prowler (1981)Savini at the height of his powers
Urban Legend (1998)No university keeps abandoned buildings for decades.
The Bad Man (2018)Living doll has cure for clown headache.
HANDS OF THE RIPPER (1972)Sucks to be Jack the Ripper's daughter. OrHorror and costume drama? It's Hammer time.
Hard Rock Zombies (1985) Best adaptation of Scooby Doo I've seen.
The EndlessLet's not do the time warp again.
Curse of Chucky (2013)Death chili chili chili chili more deathOrHey guys, we need another final scene!
Hell FestAdam, go to Hell Fest with me!
They have the mazes at Fright Fest. I'm calling your bluff and making you go now.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)"Shhhhh! You had me at double scoops."
Cult of Chucky (2017)So much red on white. Kinda great.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016) Dir. André ØvredalAnother egregious misunderstanding of basic fire code.
Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1953)Abbott and Costello conclude nonconsecutive Karloff collaborations.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)Find you someone who dances like Glover
He Knows Your Alone (1980)Better title: Till Death Do Us PartHalloween called, it wants it's score back.Looks like detective raided Barry Manilow's wardrobe.Guy from Larry Crowne makes acting debut. Another better title: That Thing You Die!The killers sweaty dude mask truly terrifies.
Paranormal Activity 3I think I’m done with found footage.
Land of the Dead (2005)Holy shit that movie was so mentalist.
The Masque of the Red Death (1964, dir. Roger Corman)Double Price for the price of one.
Suspiria (1977)Breathing problems are natural at that age.
Lord of Illusions (1995)“Watch this sword trick. I’ll be Bakula.”
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)Skipped date for autopsy? Totally not weird.