Abe Forsythe's LITTLE MONSTERS (2019, 93 min.) at Brooklyn's Alamo Drafthouse for the first time (advanced screening with director/actor Q&A).Lupita Nyong'o versus Aussie zombies... no contest!orBest lil' Darth since Volkswagen Superbowl commercial.
This brand-new zombie flick is also streaming on Hulu starting today!
Shin'ichirĂ´ Ueda's ONE CUT OF THE DEAD (2019, 96 min.) at New York City's IFC Center for the first time. Also available for streaming on Shudder.Walk-offs at end of first act... SUCKERS!orJapan's profanity-filled weekend afternoon live TV rulz!
Rick Rosenthal's HALLOWEEN II (1981, 92 min.) on Blu-ray.Slippery wet blood? Game over, Alex Rogan.
Urban Legend (1998, dir. Jamie Blanks)Rebecca Gayheart's eyes are trying to escape.
The Faculty (1998, dir. Robert Rodriguez)The abusive couple need their own movie.
Pulse (2001)AKA: How to setup your internet connection.orHmm I should buy some red tape.
THE DEVIL’S BRIDE, AKA, THE DEVIL RIDES OUT (1968)Religious persecution of the worst kind, shame!ORCharles Gray’s best role, Mocata or Blofeld?
THE BLOOD ON SATAN’S CLAW (1971)Young people have no respect at allOrDo you have weird patches of hair?OrGoes farther than I expected it to.
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)Extraordinary central performance. Also starring John Malkovich.
City of the Living Dead (1980)This wind has a real maggotty factor...
The Boy (2016)So, swimming with rocks in pockets...bad?
Ravenous (1999)F, marry, play. Carlyle, Pearce, Oregon Trail.
Basket Case (1982)Wish Kuato could've helped Belial chill out
Revenge (2017)Oh no. Holy shit. Oh wow. Yes!
Curse of Chucky (2013, dir. Don Mancini)"Chucky's my favorite villain."- Mark Jones, probably
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013, dir. John Luessenhop)Beware the redneck. And those other rednecks.
Blood Vessel (2019, Justin Dix)Vampires on boat, solid and scrappy movie.OrAn international array of Australian accents displayed
"Rogue" (2007, Dir. Greg McLean)Pleasant Outback croc spotting? I'd Radha not.
Transylvania 6-5000Only interesting as a Cronenberg casting tape.
Spellbinder (1988)Plot holds water like a burlap sackOrScientology buries this and not Battlefield Earth?
BOOK OF MONSTERS (2018) Getting a leg up on the police.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Everyone's chewing scenery, Walken's chewing the actors
Bliss (2019, Joe Begos)Where everyone knows your blood type ..... NORM!
The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015)Sally Draper! She is using the "Voice"orBramford's annual "Lacerations for Satan" pledge drive
TALES OF TERROR (1962, dir. Roger Corman)Nothing to see here. Nothing but brick.
THE SENTINEL (1977, dir. Michael Winner)Models really do have to sacrifice much.
Hideaway (1995, dir. Brett Leonard)Killer possesses Goldblum - death found a way.
Psycho II (1983)No neverending psychobabble at the end -- yay!
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)Still missing: Paul, and Amy Steele's career.
The Perfection (2018) Whiplash. Cellist. Levetiracetam. Flashbacks. Brother from Wings.
The Sixth Sense (1999)At least Toni Collette keeps her head.
Housebound Kind of the horror version of Interstallar
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995, theatrical cut) dir. Joe ChappelleWhere is Paul Rudd's Dorian Gray painting?
Jaws (1975)Movie is too good for seven words.
The War of the Worlds (1953 dir. Byron Haskin)Science saves us? No: god! *Rolls Eyes*
The Body (2018)You've never catch me eating Casu marzu.
Pet Sematary (2019)Twisted sister was better in the eighties.
The Old Dark House (1932)Rude houseguests are scarier than any monster.
Frailty (2001)Daddy, daddy, with an ax. Hmm, WWJD?
The Blair Witch Project (1999)Josh? Josh? Josh! JOSH! JOSH! JOSH! JOOOSSSSHHHH!
Tammy and The T-Rex: The Gore Cut (1994)Movie directed by a bag of cocaine
The Fog (1980)Last night a DJ saved my life.
Fantastic!
The Evil Dead (1981)Ted Rami should've also played the cabin.
Poltergeist (1982)That clown's clearly of Native American descent.
Drag Me To Hell (2009)That's one way to button things up.
Anaconda (1997)Jenny from the block battles big snakes.
Frogs (1972)Sam Elliott sans mustache meets the Battletoads.
House on Haunted Hill (1959)A complicated way to deal with rats.
The Devils (1971)Hot priest ends up getting much hotter.
Strait-JacketThis movie will really wig you out.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)Now certain that skinless people aren't sexy.
Creepshow 2 (1987, dir. Michael Gornick)Get consent, THEN get eaten by blob.
ᵇˡᵘᵇ
The Bat (1959) Bats who punch you in the throat.
Pumpkinhead (1988)Serious Twist: Prime Lance Henriksen was shredded.
Spellcaster (1992)Adam Ant apparently absent as actors assemble.
The Carpenter (1988)Wings Hauser is consistently bringing the wood.
CHOPPING MALL (1986, dir. Jim Wynorski)The dedication of robot mall walkers... inspirational!
Ghoulies (1984)Hooray for the vaguely memorable poster design.
GWEN (2019, dir. William McGregor)THE WITCH meets... a bunch of movies!
Summer of '84 (2018)Boy suspects madman is from Mad Men
Murder Party (2007)Art Students? Someone kill me now please.
Alice Sweet Alice (1976) Cat food is felinophile's least grotesque quality.
THE RUINS (2008) Disneyland’s Tiki Room takes a weird turn.
A Nightmare on Elm street 5: The Dream Master (1988)You thought Aquaman's lame? Dreaming's my superpower.
Blood Tide (1982, dir. Richard Jefferies)Starring Sleepaway Camp's Robert Earl Jones's son!
The Twilight Zone (1983)Spielberg does quite the cheesy Spielberg impression
Creepshow 2 (1987)Was Saturday Morning Cartoon animation THAT popular?
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995, director's cut) dir. Joe ChappelleAh yes, the power of the druids.
HOWLING 2Sat through THIS only for Sybil's chest?
Poltergeist (1982, dir. Tobe Hooper)Family suffers ghosts; oldest daughter suffers FOMO.
IT COMES AT NIGHT (2017) This is a strange episode of Inuyasha.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)Have this thumbing pain in my forehead
Dawn of the Dead (1979, dir. George A. Romero)One of the best movies ever made.
CASTLE OF THE CREEPING FLESH (1968) Are these real people or 1960s automatons?
Videodrome (1983) dir. David CronenbergJames Woods triumphs...one way or another.
C.H.U.D. (1984)Is it weird this made me hungry?
Hereditary (2018)Why can't they afford some nice cloaks?
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)“Larry, you’re a werewolf. Also, not 31.”or...Never schedule werewolf surgeries during full moon.
Little Monsters (2019)Every little kid deserves a Miss Caroline.
Little Monster (2019)Only issue? Swifty stuck in my head.
Little Monster (2019)Players gonna play play play. Help Me.
Insidious (2010) Dir. James WanDamn, I thought Dalton would be bigger.
Phenomena (1985)Argento primate ranking: Inga > Lachrymarum's baboon familiar.
Return of the Living Dead (1985)Smart ass zombies can use the radio.
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)The Cow in Twister was more dignified.
A Quiet Place (2018)Who thought getting pregnant was good idea?
Abe Forsythe's LITTLE MONSTERS (2019, 93 min.) at Brooklyn's Alamo Drafthouse for the first time (advanced screening with director/actor Q&A).
ReplyDeleteLupita Nyong'o versus Aussie zombies... no contest!
or
Best lil' Darth since Volkswagen Superbowl commercial.
This brand-new zombie flick is also streaming on Hulu starting today!
DeleteShin'ichirĂ´ Ueda's ONE CUT OF THE DEAD (2019, 96 min.) at New York City's IFC Center for the first time. Also available for streaming on Shudder.
ReplyDeleteWalk-offs at end of first act... SUCKERS!
or
Japan's profanity-filled weekend afternoon live TV rulz!
Rick Rosenthal's HALLOWEEN II (1981, 92 min.) on Blu-ray.
ReplyDeleteSlippery wet blood? Game over, Alex Rogan.
Urban Legend (1998, dir. Jamie Blanks)
ReplyDeleteRebecca Gayheart's eyes are trying to escape.
The Faculty (1998, dir. Robert Rodriguez)
ReplyDeleteThe abusive couple need their own movie.
Pulse (2001)
ReplyDeleteAKA: How to setup your internet connection.
or
Hmm I should buy some red tape.
THE DEVIL’S BRIDE, AKA, THE DEVIL RIDES OUT (1968)
ReplyDeleteReligious persecution of the worst kind, shame!
OR
Charles Gray’s best role, Mocata or Blofeld?
THE BLOOD ON SATAN’S CLAW (1971)
ReplyDeleteYoung people have no respect at all
Or
Do you have weird patches of hair?
Or
Goes farther than I expected it to.
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
ReplyDeleteExtraordinary central performance. Also starring John Malkovich.
City of the Living Dead (1980)
ReplyDeleteThis wind has a real maggotty factor...
The Boy (2016)
ReplyDeleteSo, swimming with rocks in pockets...bad?
Ravenous (1999)
ReplyDeleteF, marry, play. Carlyle, Pearce, Oregon Trail.
Basket Case (1982)
ReplyDeleteWish Kuato could've helped Belial chill out
Revenge (2017)
ReplyDeleteOh no. Holy shit. Oh wow. Yes!
Curse of Chucky (2013, dir. Don Mancini)
ReplyDelete"Chucky's my favorite villain."
- Mark Jones, probably
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013, dir. John Luessenhop)
ReplyDeleteBeware the redneck. And those other rednecks.
Blood Vessel (2019, Justin Dix)
ReplyDeleteVampires on boat, solid and scrappy movie.
Or
An international array of Australian accents displayed
"Rogue" (2007, Dir. Greg McLean)
ReplyDeletePleasant Outback croc spotting? I'd Radha not.
Transylvania 6-5000
ReplyDeleteOnly interesting as a Cronenberg casting tape.
Spellbinder (1988)
ReplyDeletePlot holds water like a burlap sack
Or
Scientology buries this and not Battlefield Earth?
BOOK OF MONSTERS (2018)
ReplyDeleteGetting a leg up on the police.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
ReplyDeleteEveryone's chewing scenery, Walken's chewing the actors
Bliss (2019, Joe Begos)
ReplyDeleteWhere everyone knows your blood type ..... NORM!
The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015)
ReplyDeleteSally Draper! She is using the "Voice"
or
Bramford's annual "Lacerations for Satan" pledge drive
TALES OF TERROR (1962, dir. Roger Corman)
ReplyDeleteNothing to see here. Nothing but brick.
THE SENTINEL (1977, dir. Michael Winner)
ReplyDeleteModels really do have to sacrifice much.
Hideaway (1995, dir. Brett Leonard)
ReplyDeleteKiller possesses Goldblum - death found a way.
Psycho II (1983)
ReplyDeleteNo neverending psychobabble at the end -- yay!
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)
ReplyDeleteStill missing: Paul, and Amy Steele's career.
The Perfection (2018)
ReplyDeleteWhiplash. Cellist. Levetiracetam. Flashbacks. Brother from Wings.
The Sixth Sense (1999)
ReplyDeleteAt least Toni Collette keeps her head.
Housebound
ReplyDeleteKind of the horror version of Interstallar
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995, theatrical cut) dir. Joe Chappelle
ReplyDeleteWhere is Paul Rudd's Dorian Gray painting?
Jaws (1975)
ReplyDeleteMovie is too good for seven words.
The War of the Worlds (1953 dir. Byron Haskin)
ReplyDeleteScience saves us? No: god! *Rolls Eyes*
The Body (2018)
ReplyDeleteYou've never catch me eating Casu marzu.
Pet Sematary (2019)
ReplyDeleteTwisted sister was better in the eighties.
The Old Dark House (1932)
ReplyDeleteRude houseguests are scarier than any monster.
Frailty (2001)
ReplyDeleteDaddy, daddy, with an ax. Hmm, WWJD?
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
ReplyDeleteJosh? Josh? Josh! JOSH! JOSH! JOSH! JOOOSSSSHHHH!
Tammy and The T-Rex: The Gore Cut (1994)
ReplyDeleteMovie directed by a bag of cocaine
The Fog (1980)
ReplyDeleteLast night a DJ saved my life.
Fantastic!
DeleteThe Evil Dead (1981)
ReplyDeleteTed Rami should've also played the cabin.
Poltergeist (1982)
ReplyDeleteThat clown's clearly of Native American descent.
Drag Me To Hell (2009)
ReplyDeleteThat's one way to button things up.
Anaconda (1997)
ReplyDeleteJenny from the block battles big snakes.
Frogs (1972)
ReplyDeleteSam Elliott sans mustache meets the Battletoads.
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
ReplyDeleteA complicated way to deal with rats.
The Devils (1971)
ReplyDeleteHot priest ends up getting much hotter.
Strait-Jacket
ReplyDeleteThis movie will really wig you out.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988)
ReplyDeleteNow certain that skinless people aren't sexy.
Creepshow 2 (1987, dir. Michael Gornick)
ReplyDeleteGet consent, THEN get eaten by blob.
ᵇˡᵘᵇ
DeleteThe Bat (1959)
ReplyDeleteBats who punch you in the throat.
Pumpkinhead (1988)
ReplyDeleteSerious Twist: Prime Lance Henriksen was shredded.
Spellcaster (1992)
ReplyDeleteAdam Ant apparently absent as actors assemble.
The Carpenter (1988)
ReplyDeleteWings Hauser is consistently bringing the wood.
CHOPPING MALL (1986, dir. Jim Wynorski)
ReplyDeleteThe dedication of robot mall walkers... inspirational!
Ghoulies (1984)
ReplyDeleteHooray for the vaguely memorable poster design.
GWEN (2019, dir. William McGregor)
ReplyDeleteTHE WITCH meets... a bunch of movies!
Summer of '84 (2018)
ReplyDeleteBoy suspects madman is from Mad Men
Murder Party (2007)
ReplyDeleteArt Students? Someone kill me now please.
Alice Sweet Alice (1976)
ReplyDeleteCat food is felinophile's least grotesque quality.
THE RUINS (2008)
ReplyDeleteDisneyland’s Tiki Room takes a weird turn.
A Nightmare on Elm street 5: The Dream Master (1988)
ReplyDeleteYou thought Aquaman's lame? Dreaming's my superpower.
Blood Tide (1982, dir. Richard Jefferies)
ReplyDeleteStarring Sleepaway Camp's Robert Earl Jones's son!
The Twilight Zone (1983)
ReplyDeleteSpielberg does quite the cheesy Spielberg impression
Creepshow 2 (1987)
ReplyDeleteWas Saturday Morning Cartoon animation THAT popular?
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995, director's cut) dir. Joe Chappelle
ReplyDeleteAh yes, the power of the druids.
HOWLING 2
ReplyDeleteSat through THIS only for Sybil's chest?
Poltergeist (1982, dir. Tobe Hooper)
ReplyDeleteFamily suffers ghosts; oldest daughter suffers FOMO.
IT COMES AT NIGHT (2017)
ReplyDeleteThis is a strange episode of Inuyasha.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
ReplyDeleteHave this thumbing pain in my forehead
Dawn of the Dead (1979, dir. George A. Romero)
ReplyDeleteOne of the best movies ever made.
CASTLE OF THE CREEPING FLESH (1968)
ReplyDeleteAre these real people or 1960s automatons?
Videodrome (1983) dir. David Cronenberg
ReplyDeleteJames Woods triumphs...one way or another.
C.H.U.D. (1984)
ReplyDeleteIs it weird this made me hungry?
Hereditary (2018)
ReplyDeleteWhy can't they afford some nice cloaks?
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)
ReplyDelete“Larry, you’re a werewolf. Also, not 31.”
or...
Never schedule werewolf surgeries during full moon.
Little Monsters (2019)
ReplyDeleteEvery little kid deserves a Miss Caroline.
Little Monster (2019)
ReplyDeleteOnly issue? Swifty stuck in my head.
Little Monster (2019)
ReplyDeletePlayers gonna play play play. Help Me.
Insidious (2010) Dir. James Wan
ReplyDeleteDamn, I thought Dalton would be bigger.
Phenomena (1985)
ReplyDeleteArgento primate ranking: Inga > Lachrymarum's baboon familiar.
Return of the Living Dead (1985)
ReplyDeleteSmart ass zombies can use the radio.
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991)
ReplyDeleteThe Cow in Twister was more dignified.
A Quiet Place (2018)
ReplyDeleteWho thought getting pregnant was good idea?