'MADE IN GERMANY' TWOFER:THE VOICES (2014, PLEX, AJ Muller: 6/3/2015)Iranian director Marjane Satrapi directs a German production of a most American genre: the serial killer movie. Ryan Reynolds plays a hapless factory worker nursing a childhood trauma he tries to escape by not taking his meds. Dark and bloody comedy hijinks ensue, most involving Jerry having conversations with animals (particularly his foul-mouthed cat and whimsical dog) and stuffing his fridge with body parts. Having Reynolds play the lead gives "The Voices" a very "Deadpool" vibe even though the talented cast (Gemma Arterton, Anna Kendrick, etc.) play the tongue-in-cheek-material straight. Your mileage (and tolerance for the musical closing credits) may vary. 2.5 Unopened Pizza Boxes (out of 5)STUNG (2015, Hulu, Michael Giammarino: 6/10/2016)Another attempt to pass rural Germany as America, which mostly succeeds because the bulk of the story's confined to a single middle-of-nowhere location. Guests and workers at an outdoor party are attacked by wasps whose stings turn humans into giant mutant wasps. The survivors (including Lans Henriksen earning his paycheck the hard way) have to not only survive but try to prevent the giant insects from spreading. It's "Eight Legged Freaks"-style giant creature feature antics, but unrated and only serious when it has to without sacrificing tension. Not crazy about the young leads, but they're more tolerable than Clifton Collins Jr.'s impersonation of a nerdy Willem Dafoe. 3 Giant Newborn Larvae (EWWW! out of 5)But we're not done yet!THE BEASTMASTER (1982, DVD, Matt Sollenberger: 6/9/16)For a sword & sorcery 'B' movie that isn't lacking good actors playing fun characters (John Amos' Seth, Rip Torn's Maax) or sexy leads (Marc Singer's Dar, Tanya Roberts' Kiri) "The Beastmaster" doubles down on making its animal co-stars integral to the narrative. Whether you laugh or feel saddened when Dar's animal friends sacrifice themselves to save their masters' life will determine whether Don Coscarelli pulled off the feat. And even if he fails, enjoy this for the "Conan The Barbarian"-lite dose of Southern California-set shenanigans that it is, back when an early 80's 'PG' flick could show multiple boobs and freaky life-sucking creatures. 3 Black-Painted Tigers (out of 5)THE PLAGUE DOGS (1982, A.Prime, Cosmo Wallace: 6/20/2015)The filmmakers behind "Watership Down" burn off their remaining cinematic nightmare fuel that traumatized generations of UK children. Two old dogs at a secret experiment facility escape, and their attempts to survive in the wild trigger a chain of events among the never-seen, always-heard "white coats" that reaches the highest corridors of British parliament. The juxtaposition of the constantly-near-death dogs' very posh personalities (from thespians like John Hurt and Nigel Hawthorne) with some truly nasty-for-a-children's-cartoon moments (bloody shootings, implied drowning and cannibalism, etc.) never feels gratuitous, just the logical place a story this bleak and mature could end up. Sampling hidden-in-plain-sight gems like this is what Junesploitation! is all about. 5 Well-Meaning Sarcastic Foxes (out of 5)
RAZORBACK (1984, dir. Russell Mulcahy) on my DVR“There is something about blasting the sh*t out of a razorback that brightens up my day.” An entertaining dose of ozploitation animal mayhem. Out in the Australian Outback, a giant boar is wandering around killing the humans it encounters. Call it a giant boar slasher film. Though the boar is not a great special effect (a lot of smoke and creative editing is used to hide it), Razorback is well put together as a film. The beauty and atmosphere of the cinematography especially elevates it. Australia has some picturesque places. The characters are also engaging, including the obligatory Outback crazies. Although not the best watch for those who are sensitive about the killing of animals, there is at least nothing in the film that is very graphic.
I'm glad to know it holds up! I watched this easily 25 years ago & have been wanting to see it again ever since. it stayed with me, at least in part because i've become an australiophile since then, mostly because I had lots of fun.
I love that Razorback is a firm Aussie classic.
Monkey Shines (1988, George A. Romero)Do I think when my cat is giving the same dolful gaze that Ella gives he is plotting my death? Absoutley.I don't think Monkey Shines is a perfect movie, but it really worked for me. Romero was such an empathetic and warm director, that even when the movie is patchy those qualities always shine (as in a Monkey Shine) through. You feel compassion and understanding for all the characters including Ella.I don't know it just worked for me. Everytime I watch a Romero movie, I always wonder why I don't watch them more often.Shakma (1990, Hugh Parks and Tom Loagan)Shakma isn't having any of this, and especially non of that.I didn't connect with this movie as much as I wanted to. Even though I am always happy to see Roddy McDowall and Amanda Wyss, who both bring an easy charisma to the movie. But for me the pacing was off or watching it straight after Monkey Shines was a mistake because I didn't find it as interesting. But on the next watch who knows.
Shakma (1990, dir. Hugh Parks & Tom Logan)Medical students use their lab building to play a role playing game run by their professor (Roddy McDowall). Over. Meanwhile, a super-aggressive baboon they've been experimenting on gets loose and starts attacking them one by one. Over. They got the baboon to play the role of the aggressor really well and at times there's real tension here. Over. Unfortunately, Christopher Atkins isn't what I'd call leading man material. Over. Plus for the first half of the movie, almost all dialogue is delivered through walkie talkies and each line ends with "over", which gets real annoying real fast. Over and out.Fun fact: There are two legendary sci-fi franchise actors in Shakma. Roddy McDowall was in Planet of the Apes, and Shakma is played by the same baboon Jeff Goldblum transported in The Fly.Bee Movie (2007, dir. Simon J. Smith & Steve Hickner)What? We're supposed to watch bee movies during Junesploitation, aren't we?
I see what you did there with 'B' Movie. :-D
I kinda love that DreamWorks basically greenlighted Seinfeld's pun.
At one point in his career Seinfeld's puns were considered worthy investment. It took this and the TV show "The Marriage Ref" (a reality show in 2010) for the suits to realize stand-up specials and reruns of "Seinfeld" are all he's good for... until the inevitable reunion special to cash-in on nostalgia happens.
Burning Bright (2010) Tubi.tvPretty simple premise. College-bound sister and autistic brother get trapped in a house with a tiger. It's pretty tense, and they used a real tiger which has to count for something (well multiple tigers actually but all playing the same tiger). Briana Evigan (Step Up 2: The Streets) carries herself well as the action pretty much revolves around her.
Slept on movie.
Tyger! Tyger! burning brightIn the forests of the night,What immortal hand or eye Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?- William Blake
Eaten Alive (1977) dir. Tobe HooperWhen people talk about Hooper, this is usually the one they go to bat for the least. And honestly, I have no idea why, I found it gripping!It taps into the insanity and violence that's permeated every corner of the culture in the aftermath of Vietnam. We see trauma seep itself into areas of the country furthest from the decision makers, and find how people express that trauma differently.Characters babble their ideologies incoherently, no matter if they're the local sheriff, the local kook, the local casanova, or the rich oilman from Houston. And there are no pre-murder kiss-off lines, just killers rambling their fixations to their victims horror. Even the regular shit kicker at the local dive doesn't have anything slick to say when he's starting shit, he just gets in his targets face and mumbles. The death of the hotel ape doesn't even happen cathartically, it just slowly slumps over in the red Texas humidity and expires.Each person has to find their own ways to survive this madness and I found the imagery to be extremely pleasing, even if the croc puppet wasn't. Trigger warning for sexual and animal violence, but I'd say this is a great early Tobe.
This movie rules, but I might be biased.
You hit the underlying themes on the head. I was not expecting it to be so affecting when I watched it. I also love the staged, artificial quality of the production, the lighting, etc. Imagine seeing this movie done as a really elaborate stage play and how intense sitting in that audience would be.
Jennifer (1978)The only thing I knew about this one beforehand was that it was described on Shock Waves by Rob Galluzzo as “Carrie, but with snakes.” To Rob’s credit he did also mention that it’s nowhere near as good as Carrie, but that didn’t quite prepare me for just how deeply not good as Carrie it was. It’s not even as good as The Rage: Carrie 2, and the best thing that movie has going for it is the older brother from Home Improvement getting his meats shot off with a spear gun.This is a remarkably dull movie, the kind where characters only speak in exposition and every drop of motivation is spoken aloud in the dialogue. Plus for a movie about a girl who can psychically control snakes there’s shockingly little snake action and no scares whatsoever. At least it has Bert Convy and his fascinatingly immobile hair, I’ll give it that much.
Bert Convy rules, but I might be biased. ;-)
Freshwater (2016) Prime I found this from a search for Creature Features. When I saw that it starred Zoe Bell, I was in. Even though Freshwater lacks a certain competent smoothness, I appreciated the lowfi vibe, and I think that it benefited from not being able to really show any of the gator attacks. Also, while the film does follow the expected path of an animal attacks film, to its benefit, it does occasionally stray.
47 Meters Down: Uncaged (2019 dir. Johannes Roberts)There isn't a shark movie I don't like, and this is no exception. Pretty fun and entertaining throughout. Some of the shark action looks really good, some of the CGI looks awful. You'll never convince me a talented filmmaking team couldn't create practical/mechanical effects that look way better than this for a 10th of the cost of the cartoonish CGI.
Freshwater (2016, dir. Brandy Berry)Watched this solely for My Girlfriend Zoe Bell. It's pretty rough in spots, with SyFy-level production values and filmmaking. As Rollerwriter mentions above, it does have a few twists in store, which keeps it interesting. I recommend going on the Amazon page and reading a bunch of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman fans lose their shit over Joe Lando's participation.
Jaws 3-DThe idea that both of Brody’s sons survive Jaws and Jaws 2 and still get jobs at Sea World is about as good as Buck Henry’s Graduate sequel pitch in The Player.
Mighty Joe Young (1998)First time watch. I liked it. It's a bit long but the set pieces and special effects are good. Plus it stars Bill Paxton and Charlize Theron!
Crocodile2000, dir. Tobe HooperStreaming on TubiTVI have a near-Bromley level of love for Hooper and this is one of the very few titles of his I’ve not seen. You know the saying “don’t meet your idols”? I’m gonna say my experience with this one was “don’t meet your idols at the creative bottom of their careers” and leave it at that. Kinda wish I had watched ‘Shakma!’ instead.
I know basically all of my reviews thus far have been fairly meh to negative about what I’ve watched so far but it’s hard not to be in a constant funk with what’s going on in the world right now. There are some titles I have lined up for later this month I’m excited about, but I’m beginning to think I should shift gears away from things I haven’t seen and just go to comfort food things that I know will make me happier. We’ll see. Love you guys, pay attention, help where you can, stay safe.
Alligator (1980)A legit blast. Its loved for a reason. I'm sure it was planned as a Jaws rip off but the script cast and direction all make it so much more.
Might be a perfect movie
This is one of my top Blu wishes. The pool scene scarred me harder than most everything else I saw growing up.
SHARK NIGHT (2011) Partying college students vacation at an island beach house, where they’re menaced by sharks. This is meant to be a throwback to old-timey creature features, but the PG-13 rating means it sinks, or doesn’t have bite, or whatever metaphor/pun you like. Sara Paxton is in this, and although she’s good, she deserves better than to be a bikini babe in a shark movie. 30 days of HELLO MARY LOU: PROM NIGHT II, day 4 Today’s viewing was to examine whether this movie’s fantasy/supernatural elements follow any sort of rules at all, or is it just craziness for the sake of craziness? The first thing we see in the movie is the empty high school, followed by a shot of the old trunk in the school’s mysterious “prop room.” The trunk bursts open, and then we go into the opening flashback. It would seem, then, that Mary Lou is not the villain, but there is some unidentified evil lurking under the school, manipulating both Alice and Vicki. As to what that evil force is, I don’t think we’re meant to know.
Tiger On Beat (1988) Yeah, I know it's not what's meant by Animals. But goddamn, this was a good decision. Incredible 80's HK action with Chow Yun Fat.This opens with a kick ass 80's anthem, then we go to Chow waking up handcuffed to another dude's wife. It just gets better til the chainsaw fight at the end. Endearingly sleazy goofball cop Chow is partnered with a straight arrow to.. um.. chase like drug dealers or something? I dunno, doesn't matter, it's just a string for action and comedy bits. It's closer to Jackie Chan goofy than John Woo intense, but man is Chow made for it. He does the action like he's Chow Yun Fat, but he's just as good at the comedy, with not a shred of vanity. You never saw Van Damme chug twelve raw eggs then piss himself in a hostage situation five minutes later (in a movie, anyway.) My highest recommendation.
I applaud this subversion of established Junesploitation guidelines.
Day of the Animals (1977- dir. William Girdler)Sets itself up as something of a disaster movie, and like most of those, its a little too long in the tooth and too many of the characters are flat out uninteresting. The first half hour of this is all set-up, and not particularly interesting set-up at that. However, once the animals start attacking (think, The Birds, but ALL of the animals), it picks up enough to be enjoyable. And then you have Leslie Nielsen, playing a guy who is a certified asshole, pretty insane, frequently shirtless, yells at God then wrestles a bear... it is glorious. This is worth a watch for that alone (and the goofy animal attacks... those too).
Animal House (1978)I didn't have anything theme-appropriate lined up for today, so I just decided to have some fun with it. In my defense, a horse plays an important role in the plot early on, and at one point the Delta frat is likened to a zoo, so as far as I'm concerned, it counts.As for the movie itself, it was fine. I think I expected something a little more focused and a little bit funnier (I guess I'm just not a huge fan of the Belushi shtick), but overall I had a good time and it's always good to cross a classic like that off the list.
Mimic (1997) dir. Guillermo del ToroThis was my first watch and I wasn't prepared for how dirty, slimy and repulsive nearly every frame of this movie is. There's a layer of sweat, bug goo, mud, sewage or grime everywhere in this movie! GdT is just the master of crafting horrifying, disgusting but wholly mesmerizing horror scenarios, even if it's clearly an Alien knockoff. The monsters have some fucking incredible practical creature models/puppets even if, by the end, they're reduced to mid-90s early CGI.Hilarious to witness Jeremy Northam's laughably absurd American accent, but it's a treat to see Charles S. Dutton play the action hero. I think I'm echoing Patrick's feelings about this, but I wish they'd cast Mira Sorvino in more movies.This was released in the same year as Starship Troopers, it seems 1997 was a banner year for killing giant bugs.
I didn't know what to watch, so I checked out a couple films others posted about today.Eaten Alive (1977) Tubi TvThis was not for me. Way to rapey, cheap, dirty. I almost tapped out but wanted to see if the old bastard gets it in the end. The movie is less than 90 mins but it still drags and has filler. The camera panning out to show one more shot of bewbs made me laugh out loud. I needed a shower after this one.Burning Bright (2010) Tubi TvSuper low budget Crawl + autistic kid + tiger. This movie was a surprise. It was quick and a few scenes are really well done buildingsuspense. Negative, the kid. Why autistic? Kids acting is hit or miss and this was a miss. The lead actress does a good job carrying the movie. A pretty entertaining flick.
The Birds (1963, dir. Alfred Hitchcock)Like The Beyond, I enjoy The Birds more each time I watch it. I know some consider it lesser-Hitchcock, but I think it's terrific.
The Birds (1963)Not exactly an exploitation movie, but I had been wanting to watch it for some time, and it was the first movie mentioned in the link of the Junesploitation Primer.What to say about it, other than it's really great. I just finished watching, so I'm still digesting it. I thought the scariest/creepiest bit was at the end, when the birds stopped attacking, but were just all sitting there watching. The only other movie I've seen with Tippi Hedren was Roar (1981), which I was considering watching next.
Tentacles (1977)Woeful giant octopus Jaws rip-off. John Huston, Shelley Winters and Henry Fonda sleepwalk through an interminable, boring creature feature with little action and dire special effects; an octopus orca battle looks to have been filmed using an inflatable toy whale which is repeatedly thrust into a real, possibly dead octopus. Not even laughably bad unfortunately.
I watched this a few years ago. The boredom nearly killed me.
Ticks (1993, dir. Tony Randel)Hicksploitation meets ticksploitation when a group of inner-city kids run afoul of orthodontically challenged redneck pot farmers and mutant ticks the size of cantaloupes. The ensemble cast (featuring Seth Green, Ami Dolenz, Alfonso Ribeiro, Peter Scolari, and Clint Howard) seems to have been assembled with a Mad Libs book, but the real stars are the goopy, skittering, pulsating practical effects on display. It’s all pretty charmingly dumb, but not as dumb as my decision to try to eat a salad while watching a gloppy gross-out movie like Ticks.
Grizzly (1976)Human cigarette Christopher George battles Smokey the Bear.
The ending is 1,000% worth the wait.
If there was a Junesploitation Mount Rushmore, #HCCG would be on it...
Who'd be up there on Rushmore next to #HCCC? I'd nominate the Cannon logo (duh), Fulci (double duh!) and Pam 'Motherfucking' Grier. But heck, there can be ten faces/logos in Junesploitation! Mt. Rushmore as far as I'm concerned. :-)
Ben (1972)What's worse 100,000 one pound rats or 1,000 one hundred pound rats? Unfortunately, this film refuses to answer that question. Instead, it gives an 11 year old boy with heart problems a rat to play with. Apparently, this picks up right after Willard from a year earlier. I'm pretty sure I saw Willard when I was a kid and enjoyed it. This was also decent, nothing special.
THE LION KING (2019):It's incredible. You can actually HEAR how bored everyone is. What a waste. THE LION KING (1994):"Dad, can we watch it again?" "Yes. But properly, this time."
Disagree completely, both "Lion Kings" are awesome. CG Pumba and Timon '19 are every bit as funny as their '93 animated counterparts. And as remakes go, I've seen much worse.
Congo (1995, Frank Marshall)I haven't seen this 1995 when I was 14 and still just liked every movie I watched. I found it more fascinating than anything else. It's so stuffed with well stuff. But still feels kind of empty. I have no Idea if that makes any sense.But I loved the cast. It's a great cast, with every bit player stealing every scene, and Laura Linney taking it very seriously. Though, for me Ernie Hudson just picks up the movie and walks away with it.
I have a weird history with this movie, which only endears it to me more. My family took a trip to DC/NYC when I was young. We drove the whole length of the east coast, staying at hotels along the way. 'Congo' was on HBO literally every night, so we would just pickup wherever it happened to be. I didn't see the movie start to finish until about 5 yrs ago. My brothers and I all still yell "STOP EATING MY SESAME CAKE!" at each other.
I can very much understand that. It's a movie with a huge amount of quirk. Especially if you grew up with it.
Cry Wilderness (1987, dir. Jay Schlossberg-Cohen)Bananas. Pass the Coca-Cola.
Okay, "WILDERNESS!"Thanks MST3K reboot.
Backcountry (2014, dir. Adam MacDonald)Glacial burn, but better maul effects than The Revenant.
Monster Dog (1984)A Spainish horror film starring (Super Duper) Alice Cooper. I've been on a bit of an Alice Cooper kick musically over the past few months so this seemed like an ideal choice today. It comes at a time when Cooper was struggling commercially and just getting sober. You would think with Alice's shock rock image that he would fit in a horror film pretty easily, but he's very poorly overdubbed and looks a bit out of place with the rest of the cast. The only time we actually hear his voice are in two cheesy music videos, which are probably the main reason anyone would watch this. There is a decent werewolf transformation later in the film as well.
Crawl (2019) If you missed this one last year, I definitely recommend checking it out. Even knowing the premise of the movie, when the first alligator shows up, I said "oh shit" out loud. Very tight, no wasted time. And its fun!
Blood Freak (1972)Drug-addled Chicken Man totally counts for Animals! Day. A little bit of a slog, but holy shit the chicken man is totally worth it.
The Plague Dogs (1982)Very good, but I don't ever want to see it again.
Does for test animals what "Grave of the Fireflies" did for war bombings on populated civilian areas. Well made, but no thanks. I have but only one heart to break, and "Plague Dogs" already shattered it. :'(
Tarzan and his Mate (1934, dir. Cedric Gibbons)I recently discovered that Tarzan is one of the biggest franchises in film history. We just don't hear about them much because they stopped (almost) in the '60s. Anyway, I watched the original Tarzan, the Ape Man last month and have now moved on to the sequel.So much Animal bang for your buck! Lions, apes, rhinos, elephants. It was a great watch for today. This is a superior sequel, much due to what a great unconventional portrait of domestic bliss Tarzan and Jane are. They really feel like a unit, rather than "hero" and "love-interest". And yes, pre-code nudity is very present.My main complaint is this. *SPOILERS* The movie features a real rotten bastard of a villain, and I couldn't wait for Tarzan to beat the hell out of this guy. But it never happens! Sure he dies, but Tarzan has nothing to do with it. No final confrontation. Lame. Still like the movie though.Winnie the Pooh (2011, dir. Don Hall & Stephen John Anderson)Animationsploitation? Stefanie is a huge Winnie the Pooh fan and immediately picked this for Animals day. It's very cute and I enjoyed it.
Tarzan and His Mate is a terrific choice. As you state, Daniel, there are so many animals. I watched this earlier this year and was completely startled by it. The editing of the jungle battle alone is impressive.
Great pick Mr and Mrs. Epler! I gotta check out Tarzan, I have heard good things from your venture into the jungle. As for Winnie the Pooh, you know I like bear movies...
The Fantastic Mr Fox (2009)Wes Anderson. Nuff' said. Fantastic.
The Reef (2010)Its not much different from a traditional people stranded in the ocean chased by sharks, but there are some great shots of people in the water way too close to actual sharks. Shout out to them for doing one of my true fears. If you too get tense over animals that can eat you, you might find it enjoyable (if you even find tension enjoyable).
Arachnophobia (1990, dir. Frank Marshall)I haven't seen this in maybe 20 years and the humor played so well for me now as adult.
I was trying to convince my kids to watch this ("It's Disney!", "It's supposed to be funny") but they weren't having any of it. Being very scared of spiders myself, I tried to watch it a few years ago for Junesploitation, but turned it off a short while in. It gave me nightmares as a kid.
There are several scenes that still give me intense chills! Insects coming out of sink drains will always be scary
Piranha (1978First time watching this, I consider myself a Dante fan, just never got around to it. What a blast I had been missing out on. This movie cheap, super inventive, and bat shit crazy. Piranha effects were super crude but worked for me. I thought the movie was going to go for the jugular with the kids all playing just off shore but I guess piranhas can't chew through rubber as fast as they can through human flesh.My seven word review is...Dick Miller's pink tie stole the movie!
Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)I like this one a lot. There's animals like Buckbeak. There's Butterbeer. There's tomfoolery. There's ballyhoo. I always enjoyed low stakes Potter more than the Voldemort stuff.
Cockfighter (1974, dir. Monte Hellman)Starring Warren Oates and Harry Dean Stanton and produced by Corman. This was actually really good. The cockfighting is more of a backdrop for the story of a rambling mute that loses nearly everything in a cockfight, but then sells everything he has left to get back in the game (mostly a mute. He talks sometimes. It's not clear why he doesn't talk usually). It's got a really "southern" vibe to it. However, there are numerous actual cockfights in the movie so I could understand why this movie wasn't successful (I read somewhere that it was the only Corman movie of the 70's to not make money). Several of the fights are shot really beautifully, which leaves the viewer in the uncomfortable position of "this is really wrong, but damn if I don't enjoy watching it". But yeah, definitely not for everyone.
Deadly Eyes (1982, dir. Robert Clouse)Killer rats played by dachshunds. Great movie theater sequence. Good schlock.
Paddington (2015) dir Paul KingThe story of a miniture Peruvian ursus, smuggled in on an international freighter, and set loose on the citizens of London. None who come in contact with it walk away unscathed, as it delivers heart-pounding shocks to his victims, all the while leaving a trail of putrid, orange ooze in its wake. A thrilling escape atop the London skyline leads to a rooftop shoot-out, answering once and for all who is the greater monster - man or beast?
This movie sounds terrifying.
I what to know what's the weather like in Unknown's planet (and what drugs he took to experience said weather).
Cats (2019, dir. Tom Hooper)Gotta go start up another movie real fast so, just in case I die in my sleep tonight, Cats won’t be the last movie I watched on earth.
The Cat from Outer Space (1978)A cat named Jake comes to earth to turn everyone into degenerate gamblers so it can get what it wants.
The Plague Dogs (1982)Very powerful but hard to watch. If I had a dog, I would name it Snitter.
If I had a fox I WOULDN'T name it "The Tod." :-O
Man's Best Friend (1993)This was an interesting remake of Short Circuit. Ally Sheedy befriends a giant horse dog instead of a robot. Lance Henrikson wants the dog back but refuses to take off that hideous Jean jacket. Max goes full Taking of Deborah Logan on a cat and pisses acid. I dug this motion picture.
Sasq-Watch (2017)Tim Meadows!
... has bills, needs money... welcome to the club. :-P
Piranha 3DD (2012)Was expecting bad schlock but was happy to find a mix of good and bad schlock! Ving Rhames!
Shakma (1990)This movie would be so much fun if the pacing wasn't so tedious!That baboon is legitimately terrifying. To quote mister Bromley, "I would not like to be a female baboon".
Shakma (1990)Covered pretty extensively here already - miserable pacing, terrifying baboon. Loved the final confrontation. First choice was deadly eyes, but $300/DVD is a bit steep. Some day!
The Shallows (2016):The shark is ALWAYS a metaphor.
I forgot to post yesterday, but I chose King Kong (1933) and it was a first time watch. Blew me away, in fact it blew me off the Empire State Building.
Does this mean you're watching "Blown Away" next? :-)