Pedro Almodóvar's THE SKIN I LIVE IN (2011, Blu-ray)Best, sexiest "Frankenstein"-like tale since Whale's "Bride."orAntonio Bandera's best movie role since "Desperado."
Satoshi Kon's PERFECT BLUE (1997, Blu-ray)Hitchcock, Argento, Nolan... eat your heart out!orExhibit A for anime's visual storytelling prowess.
THE RENTAL (2020, Dir. Dave Franco) Read the fineprint before booking a ScareBnB.
Arachnophobia, Frank Marshall, 1990The spiders give the merlot real legs
One of the teachers at my son's school told him that Arachnophobia was the scariest movie she'd ever seen, and now he's dead set against watching it :( To be fair, I had nightmares for weeks after watching it as a kid.
This was a first time watch. I wouldn't go near it from the trailer alone. The shower scene really got me. But I kinda loved it. Now.
Marrowbone (2017)I found Marrowbone to be slightly Whelmingunder.
Extra Ordinary (2019)Huh? So just the tip doesn’t count...
The Thing (1982)Definitely a better name than 'The Whatchamacallit'
The Mummy (1932)Sometimes a movie is better without Cruise
The Swarm, dir Irwin Allen, 1978Oh no the bees, not the bees!Oh They're in my eyes, my eyes!
😆👍
SADAKO VS. KAYAKO (2016) When do they demolish Mt. Fuji pagoda?
The Exterminating AngelIntangible forces trap people inside? Seems far-fetched
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008) Vampire Noir meets John Hughes tween romance.
Under Water (2020)Not asking for sequel, just more Cthulhu.
Tales from the Hood 3 (2020)Someone shits their pants in this movie.
The Haunted Mansion (2003)Eddie Murphy and Wallace Shawn are boring?
CRY OF THE BANSHEE (1970) She weeps, it’s death that she foresees...
The Haunted Casino aka Paranormal Casino aka Dead Man's Hand (2007, dir. Charles Band)This old Band made great music once.
UNDER THE SKIN (2014)Dir. Jonathan GlazerMurderous alien?I'd still get in van.
Murder Party (2007) on HooplaDespite low budget the excessive murders beguiles.
VFW (2019) “Grumpier Old Men” + “Zombieland” = Best Cheers’ Episode
12 Hour Shift (2020 dir. Brea Grant)This movie de-livers. I'm not kidney-ing you.
😵🥳
Popcorn (1991) All night horrah shows are big grossers
The Covenant (2006, dir. My Boy Renny Harlin)Co-starring Winter Soldier. We sebastian a legend.
The Pool (2018)Dumb crocodile meets dumber man. Mediocrity ensues
Evil Dead II (1987 - Sam Raimi) Demon sounds like children making car sounds.
The Ranger (2018)Turns out punks make terrible Cub Scouts.
Relic (2020)Mama, ooh I don't want to die
Red Eye (2005, dir. Wes Craven)Jayma Mays is the most adorable human.
I've been curious for months now: how do you tag text so it displays as bold?
HTML text formatting.Put < b > at the start and < /b > at the end (without the spaces) to make bold text.
Wish Upon (2017) director John R. Leonetti'Ton tasting translator totally targeted tangentially. Tragic.
Starry Eyes (2014)I mean, we've all been there, right?
Cheap Thrills (2013)This country needs a lot of Healying
Scare Me (2020)Shudder Presents Bottle Episode: The Motion Picture
Evil Dead (1981)Ash's literary choices cost him some friends
The Ranger (2018)Nature will cleanse the punk from you.
Relic (2020)Bleach will clear that dementia right up
🤣👏
House on Haunted Hill (1959)I knew you knew I knew. Boo!!!
The Last Man on Earth (1964)Price really negotiated poorly in the end.
CamCan’t stop thinking about the guacamole tower.
ITSY BITSY (2019) Lots of family drama with occasional spider.
House of Wax (2005)Decent, sorely lacking that Chuck Connors magic
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)What if bad ambrosia were a movie.
Scare Me (2020)Everything is better with pizza and blow.
Halloween (2018)The Terminator 2 of the Halloween Franchise.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)Zombies, Kung Fu, Lena Headey, any questions?
Jason X (2001)Action figure Jason better than movie Jason.ORSomeone watched Alien 3 . . . . but not Alien.
Martyrs (2008)Movie watching equivalent of living through 2020.
The Return of Doctor X (1939)Bogart plays dead. Everybody dies at Rick’s!
Scare Me (2020) New anthology spin that doesn’t fully land
Howling III: The Marsupials (1987) director Phillipe MoraThylocene III: A Dingo IS Your Baby
All Hallow's Eve (2013)Who needs plot when clowns sell merchandise
Night Tide (1961)There's something fishy about Mora. Barely horror.
Carnival Of Souls (1998)Are You Afraid Of The Dark - Adult. OrCravin’ Craven shouldn’t bother with this movie.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Psycho (1998)Was on STARZ, while I worked...what!? :)
The Lie (2018) Dir. Veena SudLove the snow. Otherwise, it's really bad.
Mr. Vampire (1985)I learned a lot about sticky rice
Ghost Ship (2002)The Love Boat's gritty reboot really sank
LET IT SNOW (2020):Two slices of white bread fight evil.
Kindred Spirits (2019)Caitlin Stasey takin' care of Macon Blair.
Night of the Demons (1988)"All She Wants to Do Is Dance"
Maniac Cop (1988) Dir. William Lustig This movie and "Cop" should switch titles.
Tales From the Hood (1995)"Sir, we're gonna need your mortuary license."
The Mummy’s Hand (1940) Someone check Kharis’ blood tana leaves level.
The Others (2001)These people just needed their own Beetlejuice
Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (1971)Antique shopping with Jessica gets real old
Gretel & Hansel (Perkins, 2020)Finding hair in food just got grosser
The House of Frankenstein (1944)A dog in Niemann's cell wall equation ?!?
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) director Joe BerlingerBerlinger's screenwriting philosphy is "Chuck the Owl"
Stephen King's Sleepwalkers (1992)Alice Krige: giving "Huh..." boners since 1981.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1974)Riff Raff's arc is pure class struggle.
THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993, dir. Henry Selick)Jack fucks up everything and finds love.
Apostle (2018)Some brutally inventive kills on display here.
Mausoleum (1983)Scant mausoleums. Mainly green eyes, possessed boobs
Dracula (1931)You know what this really needs? Sparkles
I apologize.
The Mummy's Ghost (1944)Whose idea was 7 word reviews anyway?
Tales From the Hood 3 (2020)Movie is missing Robo Patriot, Dumas Beech.
Scarecrows (1988) director William WesleyLike From Dusk Til Dawn meets Predator
The Girl Next Door (2007)I can't be quippy about Sylvia Likens.
The Man They Could Not Hang (1939)Boris Karloff in No Time To Die
Alien (1979)Ash barely conceals dishonest edict from group.
Overlord (2018)The answer is always add more flamethrower.
Antrum (2018)Probably shouldn’t DIG A HOLE TO HELL!
Howling IV: The Original Nightmare (1988)Ballsy, claiming part 4 is the Original.
The Invisible Man (1932)No gajillionaire faking his own death? Laaaaame
From Beyond (1986) The Resonator may result in forehead penis.
Body Bags (’93, Carpenter)Cute! John Carpenter and pals making movies
Tammy and the T-Rex (1991)The T-Rex is better than Charlie Sheen.
Pedro Almodóvar's THE SKIN I LIVE IN (2011, Blu-ray)
ReplyDeleteBest, sexiest "Frankenstein"-like tale since Whale's "Bride."
or
Antonio Bandera's best movie role since "Desperado."
Satoshi Kon's PERFECT BLUE (1997, Blu-ray)
ReplyDeleteHitchcock, Argento, Nolan... eat your heart out!
or
Exhibit A for anime's visual storytelling prowess.
THE RENTAL (2020, Dir. Dave Franco)
ReplyDeleteRead the fineprint before booking a ScareBnB.
Arachnophobia, Frank Marshall, 1990
ReplyDeleteThe spiders give the merlot real legs
One of the teachers at my son's school told him that Arachnophobia was the scariest movie she'd ever seen, and now he's dead set against watching it :(
DeleteTo be fair, I had nightmares for weeks after watching it as a kid.
This was a first time watch. I wouldn't go near it from the trailer alone. The shower scene really got me. But I kinda loved it. Now.
DeleteMarrowbone (2017)
ReplyDeleteI found Marrowbone to be slightly Whelmingunder.
Extra Ordinary (2019)
ReplyDeleteHuh? So just the tip doesn’t count...
The Thing (1982)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely a better name than 'The Whatchamacallit'
The Mummy (1932)
ReplyDeleteSometimes a movie is better without Cruise
The Swarm, dir Irwin Allen, 1978
ReplyDeleteOh no the bees, not the bees!
Oh They're in my eyes, my eyes!
😆👍
DeleteSADAKO VS. KAYAKO (2016)
ReplyDeleteWhen do they demolish Mt. Fuji pagoda?
The Exterminating Angel
ReplyDeleteIntangible forces trap people inside? Seems far-fetched
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008)
ReplyDeleteVampire Noir meets John Hughes tween romance.
Under Water (2020)
ReplyDeleteNot asking for sequel, just more Cthulhu.
Tales from the Hood 3 (2020)
ReplyDeleteSomeone shits their pants in this movie.
The Haunted Mansion (2003)
ReplyDeleteEddie Murphy and Wallace Shawn are boring?
CRY OF THE BANSHEE (1970)
ReplyDeleteShe weeps, it’s death that she foresees...
The Haunted Casino aka Paranormal Casino aka Dead Man's Hand (2007, dir. Charles Band)
ReplyDeleteThis old Band made great music once.
UNDER THE SKIN (2014)
ReplyDeleteDir. Jonathan Glazer
Murderous alien?
I'd still get in van.
Murder Party (2007) on Hoopla
ReplyDeleteDespite low budget the excessive murders beguiles.
VFW (2019)
ReplyDelete“Grumpier Old Men” + “Zombieland” = Best Cheers’ Episode
12 Hour Shift (2020 dir. Brea Grant)
ReplyDeleteThis movie de-livers. I'm not kidney-ing you.
😵🥳
DeletePopcorn (1991)
ReplyDeleteAll night horrah shows are big grossers
The Covenant (2006, dir. My Boy Renny Harlin)
ReplyDeleteCo-starring Winter Soldier. We sebastian a legend.
The Pool (2018)
ReplyDeleteDumb crocodile meets dumber man. Mediocrity ensues
Evil Dead II (1987 - Sam Raimi)
ReplyDeleteDemon sounds like children making car sounds.
The Ranger (2018)
ReplyDeleteTurns out punks make terrible Cub Scouts.
Relic (2020)
ReplyDeleteMama, ooh I don't want to die
Red Eye (2005, dir. Wes Craven)
ReplyDeleteJayma Mays is the most adorable human.
I've been curious for months now: how do you tag text so it displays as bold?
DeleteHTML text formatting.
DeletePut < b > at the start and < /b > at the end (without the spaces) to make bold text.
Wish Upon (2017) director John R. Leonetti
ReplyDelete'Ton tasting translator totally targeted tangentially. Tragic.
Starry Eyes (2014)
ReplyDeleteI mean, we've all been there, right?
Cheap Thrills (2013)
ReplyDeleteThis country needs a lot of Healying
Scare Me (2020)
ReplyDeleteShudder Presents Bottle Episode: The Motion Picture
Evil Dead (1981)
ReplyDeleteAsh's literary choices cost him some friends
The Ranger (2018)
ReplyDeleteNature will cleanse the punk from you.
Relic (2020)
ReplyDeleteBleach will clear that dementia right up
🤣👏
DeleteHouse on Haunted Hill (1959)
ReplyDeleteI knew you knew I knew. Boo!!!
The Last Man on Earth (1964)
ReplyDeletePrice really negotiated poorly in the end.
Cam
ReplyDeleteCan’t stop thinking about the guacamole tower.
ITSY BITSY (2019)
ReplyDeleteLots of family drama with occasional spider.
House of Wax (2005)
ReplyDeleteDecent, sorely lacking that Chuck Connors magic
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
ReplyDeleteWhat if bad ambrosia were a movie.
Scare Me (2020)
ReplyDeleteEverything is better with pizza and blow.
Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteThe Terminator 2 of the Halloween Franchise.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016)
ReplyDeleteZombies, Kung Fu, Lena Headey, any questions?
Jason X (2001)
ReplyDeleteAction figure Jason better than movie Jason.
OR
Someone watched Alien 3 . . . . but not Alien.
Martyrs (2008)
ReplyDeleteMovie watching equivalent of living through 2020.
The Return of Doctor X (1939)
ReplyDeleteBogart plays dead. Everybody dies at Rick’s!
Scare Me (2020)
ReplyDeleteNew anthology spin that doesn’t fully land
Howling III: The Marsupials (1987) director Phillipe Mora
ReplyDeleteThylocene III: A Dingo IS Your Baby
All Hallow's Eve (2013)
ReplyDeleteWho needs plot when clowns sell merchandise
Night Tide (1961)
ReplyDeleteThere's something fishy about Mora. Barely horror.
Carnival Of Souls (1998)
ReplyDeleteAre You Afraid Of The Dark - Adult.
Or
Cravin’ Craven shouldn’t bother with this movie.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePsycho (1998)
ReplyDeleteWas on STARZ, while I worked...what!? :)
The Lie (2018) Dir. Veena Sud
ReplyDeleteLove the snow. Otherwise, it's really bad.
Mr. Vampire (1985)
ReplyDeleteI learned a lot about sticky rice
Ghost Ship (2002)
ReplyDeleteThe Love Boat's gritty reboot really sank
LET IT SNOW (2020):
ReplyDeleteTwo slices of white bread fight evil.
Kindred Spirits (2019)
ReplyDeleteCaitlin Stasey takin' care of Macon Blair.
Night of the Demons (1988)
ReplyDelete"All She Wants to Do Is Dance"
Maniac Cop (1988) Dir. William Lustig
ReplyDeleteThis movie and "Cop" should switch titles.
Tales From the Hood (1995)
ReplyDelete"Sir, we're gonna need your mortuary license."
The Mummy’s Hand (1940)
ReplyDeleteSomeone check Kharis’ blood tana leaves level.
The Others (2001)
ReplyDeleteThese people just needed their own Beetlejuice
Let’s Scare Jessica to Death (1971)
ReplyDeleteAntique shopping with Jessica gets real old
Gretel & Hansel (Perkins, 2020)
ReplyDeleteFinding hair in food just got grosser
The House of Frankenstein (1944)
ReplyDeleteA dog in Niemann's cell wall equation ?!?
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) director Joe Berlinger
ReplyDeleteBerlinger's screenwriting philosphy is "Chuck the Owl"
Stephen King's Sleepwalkers (1992)
ReplyDeleteAlice Krige: giving "Huh..." boners since 1981.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1974)
ReplyDeleteRiff Raff's arc is pure class struggle.
THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993, dir. Henry Selick)
ReplyDeleteJack fucks up everything and finds love.
Apostle (2018)
ReplyDeleteSome brutally inventive kills on display here.
Mausoleum (1983)
ReplyDeleteScant mausoleums. Mainly green eyes, possessed boobs
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteYou know what this really needs? Sparkles
I apologize.
DeleteThe Mummy's Ghost (1944)
ReplyDeleteWhose idea was 7 word reviews anyway?
Tales From the Hood 3 (2020)
ReplyDeleteMovie is missing Robo Patriot, Dumas Beech.
Scarecrows (1988) director William Wesley
ReplyDeleteLike From Dusk Til Dawn meets Predator
The Girl Next Door (2007)
ReplyDeleteI can't be quippy about Sylvia Likens.
The Man They Could Not Hang (1939)
ReplyDeleteBoris Karloff in No Time To Die
Alien (1979)
ReplyDeleteAsh barely conceals dishonest edict from group.
Overlord (2018)
ReplyDeleteThe answer is always add more flamethrower.
Antrum (2018)
ReplyDeleteProbably shouldn’t DIG A HOLE TO HELL!
Howling IV: The Original Nightmare (1988)
ReplyDeleteBallsy, claiming part 4 is the Original.
The Invisible Man (1932)
ReplyDeleteNo gajillionaire faking his own death? Laaaaame
From Beyond (1986)
ReplyDeleteThe Resonator may result in forehead penis.
Body Bags (’93, Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteCute! John Carpenter and pals making movies
Tammy and the T-Rex (1991)
ReplyDeleteThe T-Rex is better than Charlie Sheen.