Klaus Kinski in SCHIZOID (1980, TCM Underground) for the first time. Also streaming on Amazon Prime.Cannon unicorn: sleazy, well acted procedural/slasher.ORKinski's wardrobe mirrors his scissors: sharp, shiny.
Seriously... What a weird fucking movie where Klaus Kinski plays the least mentally disturbed of the bunch
Tonino Ricci's PANIC (1982, Raygun) for the first time.Italian-as-Brits coppers chase "Slithis"-type creature through sewers.OR"Resident Evil 2" tropes long before "RE2."
Edgar Wright's SHAUN OF THE DEAD (2004, 4K UHD Blu-ray).Among its innumerable positive attributes: NO SEQUEL.
The only first film in a trilogy to have no sequel
Neil Marshall's THE DESCENT (2005, Blu-ray). Unrated Version with director/cast commentary. Rated version streaming on Amazon Prime, Hulu, TUBI, Pluto, etc.Fuck Juno, Marry Sarah, Kill all Crawlers.ORBechdel saw this, threw her hands up.
Frankenstein (2004)Is a movie, plus three more words.
The Night House (2020, Dir. David Bruckner) What has gotten into Rebecca Hall? Nothing.
1981 double feature inspired by Patrick's 24-hour marathon:Dead & Buried (1981, dir. Gary Sherman)The town motto: homicide by the seaside.
Student Bodies (1981, dir. Mickey Rose)Wig makes lead look like Kristen Wiig.
Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde (1971, dir. Roy Ward Baker)Jekyll gets a breast of the situation.
The Mummy Returns (2001) Half the fun of the first one.
The Forever Purge (2021)How many more of these movies? Forever?
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)They finally killed Michael Myers for good.
VAMPYR (1932)The “drowned in flour” cliche again? Yawn.
Dead Again (1991)Remembered the first twist, not the second.
Dead Heat (1988)Dir: Mark GoldblattLame Piscopo one-liners really killed this one.
The Happening (2008)Dir: M. Night ShyamalanQuit trying to hate this so hard!
WEREWOLF WOMAN (1976) Werewolf transformation at minute one. Premise fulfilled!
Corpse Bride (2005)Strangers fall in love by being apart.
Terror Train (1980: Shudder Joe Bob Briggs Halloween)"Take the last train to deathsville" Monkees
Nightbeast (1982, dir. Don Dohler)Wasn't expecting such a curly-haired hero.
The Night House (2021, dir. David Bruckner)Liked better when it wasn't all metaphor.
Day of the Dead (1985) Let them Choke on ‘em! - Bub (Zombie)
Martin (1977)Vampire or not, he's one weird mf.
HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959):These hipsters and their murder mystery parties.
Crimson Peak (2015)I incest that you drink your tea.
Dracula Untold (2014)Sick of all these Batman origin stories.
The Prophecy by Gregory Widen (1995). Even angels retire in Arizona and die.
House of the Witch (2017, dir. Alex Merkin)Teenagers go where teenagers shouldn't be going.
Prince Of Darkness (1987)Any green liquid should stay in Vegas.
Carrie (1976)Didn't realize roadhouse whiskey was powerful aphrodisiac.
Malignant (2021)MY malignance volunteers at the soup kitchen
The Void (2016)So what's fun up in this void?
Halloween (2018, dir. David Gordon Green)Michael's the number one reason for podfade.
The Beyond (1981)I never trusted God damn service animalsOrAh! Spiders!...I mean eventually ah, spiders
Suspiria (1977)Bathroom? Down the hall from the wirepit
Suspiria (2018)Why is that old man strangely hot?OrSo this flick is still going on
ORPHAN (2009) Bring back Esther for remake of Gigi.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)Like the Sawyers, movie has zero waste.
The People Under the Stairs (1991)Wes Craven's take on Saturday morning cartoons
Dead Silence (2007)Does this count as a Cronenberg joint?
The Hills Have Eyes 1977Who puts Jaws poster in vacation camper?!?!
HATCHET (2006): This is all skinny Adam Driver's fault.
LIFEFORCE (1985) Rail burglar, give me my rails back!
Final Destination 2Chasing pigeons and paying the ultimate price!
You're Next (2011)Won't be blending smoothies anytime soon. Blech!
Fright Night (1985, dir. Tom Holland)Just let these teenagers fuck in peace!orWow, vampires accumulate a lot of junk
GRIZZLY II: REVENGEThe best concert film with bear cameo
The Thing (2011)CG test exposes poor imitation of original.
TO THE DEVIL A DAUGHTER (1976)To The Hammer Film A Pubes Shot
The Broken (2008, dir. Sean Ellis)Better mirrors than Mirrors (I'm an expert).
The Mummy (1932)bet they had one helluva wrap party!
Scream 4 (2011) Roger L. Jackson for the new siri!
Return of the Fly (1959)When "Like father, like son" goes wrong.
STAGE FRIGHT: AQUARIUS (1987)Great news for all the understudies!
Malignant (2021)Horrorcon vendors get "people walking backwards" insurance.
The Babadook (2014)True story behind "Go Eat Worms" song.
Possum (2018)Freaky spider puppet freaks out freaky puppeteer.
Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)This American High School Looks suspiciously Canadian
The Hills Have Eyes Part 2 1984Female Daredevil, Beast and Hulk versus Morlocks
This comment has been removed by the author.
Monkey shines(1988)Biting monkey's neck makes him walk again
Crimewave 1985Kinda thought Brion James was Joe Spinell
November (2017):Love, Loss, and Souls inhabiting farm equipment.
Dead Again (1991)Beautiful amnesiac's fears revolve around die shears.
Underwater (2020)This team doesn't perform well under pressure.
The Belko Experiment (2017, Greg McLean)Tony Goldwyn, a king of resting doucheface
Burning Moon 1992Not sure how heroin helps one's storytelling...
Dracula's Daughter (1936, dir. Lambert Hillyer)She's the least menacing of Dracula's relativesorTransylvanians are the drunkest and horniest folk
FRANKENSTEIN (1931) Nobody tell Don Quixote about this windmill.
JENNIFER'S BODY (2009)"No one wants to see your ki-ki."
Muppets Haunted Mansion (2021)Ed Asner was typecast in this movie.
The Cave (2005)Cole Hauser says "Dr. Nicolai" with pizzazz
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors 1965Don't steal from Big Bad Voodoo Daddy!
Wishmaster (1997)Must wish me bye the bye everlasting.
Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999)The rules got kind of wishy washy.
Blue Monkey (1987)"Huh, huh, huh shock the blue monkey!"
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986):Leatherface: Hold still, ima sex you up.
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (1989) Fewer opera numbers, more gooey face peelings.
HOCUS POCUS (1993):Formed unrealistic expectations for mischievous little sisters.
The Thing(2011). The THING!!!! Ugh, it's the other Thing.
Tales of Terror 1962Without doubt, the best wine drinking scene!
30 Miles From Nowhere (2018), Dir: Caitlin Koller30 miles from making any damn sense.
Maximum overdrive (1986)Who made who you might ask… cocaine
Halloween (1978)Scared 1970s teenagers in high wasted jeans
THE UNKNOWN TERROR (1957)Indiana Jones and the Cave of Fungus
Hocus Pocus (1993)Nostalgia won’t let you admit it’s bad
Doctor Sleep (2019)Wait a minute, was that zombie baby?
THE BATMAN VS DRACULA (2005)Alucard? Fool me twice, shame on me!
THE BLOB (1958) Creeps, leaps, glides, slides, splotch, blotch... blub.
Cabin Fever (2002) Dir. Eli RothWhy is anyone even friends with Bert?
Ms. 45 (1981)Less skeevy than expected. Good lead performance.
Black Roses (1988)The most okay parts of heavy metal.
Incident in a Ghostland (2018)Very unpleasant. Horrifying to watch. Four stars.
Graveyard Shift, dir Ralph S. Singleton, 1990Dude thinks he's Vasquez with a hoseOrConveniently, Dorif had a prepared casket waiting
Suspiria (2018)Fun fact, Tilda Swinton was every characterOrMarcos' greatest crime: never wearing a robe
Monster Club (1981)Hums the greatest monster of them all.
Phantoms (Joe Chappelle, 1998)Liev Schreiber is the bomb in Phantoms
There’s Someone Inside The House (2021)Let’s do Scream again but less scary
The Hunger (1983)David Bowie in M. Night Shyamalan's "Old"
Anna and the Apocalypse (2018, John McPhail)The saddest zombie musical comedy ever made
PAGANINI HORROR (1988) How many genres can one movie be?
The House October Built(2014, Dir Bobby Roe)Who follows someone down an NOLA alleyorMore like, "Genre Myrick and Sánchez Built"
Muppets Haunted Mansion (2021)I like that King Harvest song too!
When a Stranger Calls (1978) dir. Fred WaltonMy tween: “Terrifying. Then boring. Then terrifying!”
Them (2006)Reverse and remove T because it's meh
Horror of Dracula (1958)Ladies get bit, the undertaker got bits
The Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism (1967)This movie owes me a Dr. Sadism.
Hideaway (1995)Kinda expected killer to be Goldblum, backwards.
The Boys From County Hell(2021, Dir Chris Baugh)Like Shawn except Irish, vamps and heartless.
Curse II: The Bite (1989)Was expecting more snakes. And more thrills
An American Werewolf in London (1981)Still my favorite werewolf transformation effects scene.
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.