'EMPTYING THE DVR OF NEW-TO-ME HORROR FLICKS' HUMP DAY!Lon Chaney Jr. in Roland West's THE MONSTER (1925, Turner Classic Movies) for the first time.Chaplin would approve of telephone wire stunts.
Renny Harlin's DEVIL'S PASS (2013, IFC Center) for the first time.Found footage flick starts weak, ends weakest.
SWALLOW (2020, Showtime) for the first time.Pica sufferer crashes toxic men's birthday parties.ORDenis O'Hare's short scene steals movie... again.
VARSITY BLOOD (2014, AMC Pass) for the first time. Also streaming on TUBI."Halloween" with slutty cheerleaders/jocks. Trashy fun.
#HORROR (2015, IFC Films) for the first time."'Fat Girl/Bully': Millennial Social Media Edition."ORChloë Sevigny, Balthazar Getty, Timothy Hutton... #WHY?!?!
The Lost Boys (1987)Not gay vampires, ‘80s vampires! Big difference!
Dave Franco's THE RENTAL (2020, Showtime) for the first time.Another cup of Joe Swanberg nightmare fuel.OR"Peeping Tom" morphs into hi-tech "The Strangers."
The Funhouse (Tobe Hooper, 1981)Little brother is scariest part of movie
Arachnophobia (1990, Dir. Frank Marshall) Arachno perv digs 'em wet and sudsy.
Books of Blood (2020, dir. Brannon Braga)Movie makes good point, people are garbage.
Linda Blair in Tom DeSimone's HELL NIGHT (1981, TCM Underground) for the first time.Minimal vomit-inducing gore, performances won't turn heads.ORMac Ahlberg's nighttime cinematography steals the show.
DRACULA'S DAUGHTER (1936)Pleased they use 'Draculas' as plural noun.
LAST NIGHT IN SOHO (2021)Edgar Writes a spooky swinging 60's spectacular.
Gremlins (1984)Perfect for a family scary movie night.
Ghostbusters (1984)I ain't afraid of no authority figures.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Insidious 2 (2013, dir. James Wan)Wan just had to take it further.
Jon Knautz's THE CLEANING LADY (2018, AMC Thrillers) for the first time. Also streaming on Amazon Prime.Takes 'dropping acid' to new cinematic extremes.ORMakes Takashi Miike's "Audition" look like "Bambi."
IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS (1994) "Dost thou want to read Sutter-y books?"
OFF-TOPIC BUT ON-POINT FOR SCARY MOVIE MONTH! "Hollywood" Heath Ledger just posted his YouTube interview with our own JB to talk about the new 4K UHD Blu-rays for Universal's Classic Monsters. Great half-hour watch. :-D
Ledger?
Yikes! 🥵🤯 "Hollywood" Heath Holland interviews JB! That's what l get for pulling an all-nighter. 😛😪
MAUSOLEUM (1983)You won’t like her when she’s horny
Halloween (1978)Survivors all remain safe to this day.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)What? Nobody else used to play corner?
Blade II (2002, dir. Guillermo del Toro)Points to Blade for using "whom" correctly.
The Lost Boys (1987)For some reason I'm suddenly craving Chinese.
Midsommar: Director's Cut (2019)Maybe the murder cult aren't good guys
THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA (1973) Dracula cameos in a generic conspiracy thriller.
Titane (2021)French Firemen lavender dance party? Oui oui!
Halloween (1978) prod./co writer Debra HillBest last moment in film. Sequels superfluous.
Prom Night (1980)Headless caveman student ruins the disco prom
Ready or not (2019)Well at least it isn’t Monopoly.
Psycho Goreman (2020)My little Demon. New playset from Mattel!
Killer Party (1986)Fall leaves AND everyone saying “April Fools”??
Muppets Haunted Mansion (2021)Almost my daughter’s first movie. Then Stamos...
BLOODSUCKING FREAKS (1976) Feels like I need 1,000,000 showers now.
Halloween Kills (2021)Evil Dies Tonight!* (*Evil dying not guaranteed)
The House of the Devil8 dollar medium pizzas. In this economy?
The Keep (1983)Pushy soul sucking golem seems trustworthy enough.
Antlers (2021)Teacher senses troubled student requires multipronged approach.
The Witches of Eastwick (1987)Good old fashioned phantasmagorical sex comedy allegory.
Angel (1983):Needing more Donna Wilkes in my life!
Host (2020):Success! It’s difficult to make me jump!
Vicious Fun (2020):Julian Richings is one creepy fucking clown
Da Hip Hop Witch(2003 Dir: Dale Resteghini)I guess this is a movie. maybe?
Witchboard (1986) Dir. Kevin TenneyTry explaining this to your captain, copper!
Class of 1984 (1982):A delightful Glee and Dangerous Minds mashup
Doctor Sleep: Director's Cut (2019)Almost succeeded in making Rebecca Ferguson unlikable
Hell Night (1981)Not particularly hellish, especially for LINDA BLAIR.
Last Night in Soho (2021) Dir. Edgar Wright Turns out it's the same old song.
GIRLS SCHOOL SCREAMERS (1985) Can one lightbulb do that much damage?
Shed of the dead 2019 YouTube Pure Comedy horror with a British twist
The House of the Devil (2009) One thing leads to another satanic ritual.
THE INVISIBLE GHOST (1941) Let's go see, let's go see Lugosi.
Saturn 3 1980Body hitting airlock "wires"(?) looked like watermelon.
Midnight Hour 1985Soundtrack alone would sink small boutique label
Dawn of the Dead (1978) Dir. George A. RomeroLimited housing opportunities in Hell cause spillover.
Don't Panic (1987)Watched because it was on RLM BOTW
SPOOKS RUN WILD (1941) Kids should've stayed in the East End.
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)Just make it bigger, faster and louder.
The Fog (1980)Glowing fog raises less concern than expected
House On Haunted Hill (1999)Seriously, how are they gonna get down?
THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993):Selick: “I directed it!”World: “Suuuuurrrreeeee, buddy.”
Halloween Kills (2021) dir. David Gordon GreenJust make a ten episode series instead
Scream (1996)90’s crush - Neve20’s crush - the houses!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988) dir. Renny Harlin I am eternal..except mirrors, no mirrors!
Drag Me To Hell (2009)My new phobia is death by gumming
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985) dir. Jack Sholder'The one with the bus' - my dad
Valentine (2001)I was expecting more bow and arrows.
Hellrasier: Hellworld, Rick Bota, 2005Where Superman receives an incredibly awkward blowjobOrPinhead's easiest gig. He's just hanging out.
HALLOWEENTOWN (1998):Roughly the same plot as HALLOWEEN (2018).
Ticks (1993)Y-U-Z-N-A spells "quality!"
Werewolves Within (2021)Small town politics are just the worst.
Scream (1996)Apparantely Scream is my favourite scary movie.
Scream 2 (1997)Who gets up during the cold open?
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)Firmly grasp it in your hand grandpa
Willy's Wonderland (2021)Best Punch Pop commercial I've ever seen.
The Village (2004 - M. Night Shyamalan)Revenge or retreat? Bruce Wayne's alternate story.
Vicious Fun (2020 - Cody Calahan)I'll always pop for sloppy killer Kurrgan.ORGreat movie for a fun Halloween night.
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968) Homer: "I call the big one 'Bitey.'"
Shocker (1989)Cure for limp: walking on a ladder
HALLOWEENTOWN 2: KALABAN’S REVENGE (2001):Screen legend Debbie Reynolds appears in this.
Arachnophobia (1990)I'm convinced there are spiders everywhere now.
House of the Devil (2009) - Except for the Satanists, pretty easy gig.
THE EARTH DIES SCREAMING (1964)Robots shamble around a small English town.
Old (2021)Correction: 11 tries to make a baby
DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978) How's this a mall with no Sbarro?
Dead Heat (1988)The fish in this movie are cursed
Tales From The Crypt 1972NO ONE treats Peter Cushing like that!!!!
Razorback (1984)Most extreme example of insult to injury
Hell Fest (2018)Gavin was too pure for this world.
Final Destination 5 (2011)Shyamalan wishes he thought of this twist.
Ernest Scared Stupid(1991 Dir:John R. Cherry)Better than Hocus Pocus. I said it.
The Conjuring 3:The Devil made me do it(2021). Evils going to need a good chiropractor
DAY OF THE DEAD (1985) Breakdown of communication. Collapse of civilization. Bub.
Inhuman ResourcesThe legal department for the Jigsaw Corporation.
Monsters Crash the Pajama Party 1965Mad Scientist labeled clearly, so we know!
Orgy of the Dead 1965Tortured by never-ending barrage of topless dancers
Saw a review once that said that with some minor changes this is just Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats"
PG: Psycho Goreman (2021)This movie has my sense of humor.
The Watcher in the Woods (1980)F**k this. I'd rather join The Skulls.
Jakob's Wife (2021)October recipient of the repeat viewing bump.
SPIDER BABY (1967) The maddest seven word review ever told.
The Black Cat 1934That's one way to skin a Karloff
Bad Moon(1996) Man's best friend vs worlds hairiest Uncle
Fido (2006) dir. Andrew CurrieTrinity’s favorite Matrix world. Fido is Neo.
Häxan 1922Black metal wish they had these visuals
Terrorvision 1986Gerrit Graham gives a bud a chub.
(Halloween 2007, Dir Rob Zombie)Better than remembered. Still not my jamorHasn't Danielle been thru enough Meyer shit
Bones (2001)Snoop Doggy dogg doggy dogg doggy gghost
Halloween Kills (2021)Had a good time, ignoring the critics
Saw II (2005)Door marked exit always the way out
Saw III (2006)Oh what a tangled web we weave
Event Horizon (1997)I always feel like ... somebody's watchin me ...
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
'EMPTYING THE DVR OF NEW-TO-ME HORROR FLICKS' HUMP DAY!
ReplyDeleteLon Chaney Jr. in Roland West's THE MONSTER (1925, Turner Classic Movies) for the first time.
Chaplin would approve of telephone wire stunts.
Renny Harlin's DEVIL'S PASS (2013, IFC Center) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteFound footage flick starts weak, ends weakest.
SWALLOW (2020, Showtime) for the first time.
ReplyDeletePica sufferer crashes toxic men's birthday parties.
OR
Denis O'Hare's short scene steals movie... again.
VARSITY BLOOD (2014, AMC Pass) for the first time. Also streaming on TUBI.
ReplyDelete"Halloween" with slutty cheerleaders/jocks. Trashy fun.
#HORROR (2015, IFC Films) for the first time.
ReplyDelete"'Fat Girl/Bully': Millennial Social Media Edition."
OR
Chloë Sevigny, Balthazar Getty, Timothy Hutton... #WHY?!?!
The Lost Boys (1987)
ReplyDeleteNot gay vampires, ‘80s vampires! Big difference!
Dave Franco's THE RENTAL (2020, Showtime) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteAnother cup of Joe Swanberg nightmare fuel.
OR
"Peeping Tom" morphs into hi-tech "The Strangers."
The Funhouse (Tobe Hooper, 1981)
ReplyDeleteLittle brother is scariest part of movie
Arachnophobia (1990, Dir. Frank Marshall)
ReplyDeleteArachno perv digs 'em wet and sudsy.
Books of Blood (2020, dir. Brannon Braga)
ReplyDeleteMovie makes good point, people are garbage.
Linda Blair in Tom DeSimone's HELL NIGHT (1981, TCM Underground) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteMinimal vomit-inducing gore, performances won't turn heads.
OR
Mac Ahlberg's nighttime cinematography steals the show.
DRACULA'S DAUGHTER (1936)
ReplyDeletePleased they use 'Draculas' as plural noun.
LAST NIGHT IN SOHO (2021)
ReplyDeleteEdgar Writes a spooky swinging 60's spectacular.
Gremlins (1984)
ReplyDeletePerfect for a family scary movie night.
Ghostbusters (1984)
ReplyDeleteI ain't afraid of no authority figures.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteInsidious 2 (2013, dir. James Wan)
DeleteWan just had to take it further.
Jon Knautz's THE CLEANING LADY (2018, AMC Thrillers) for the first time. Also streaming on Amazon Prime.
ReplyDeleteTakes 'dropping acid' to new cinematic extremes.
OR
Makes Takashi Miike's "Audition" look like "Bambi."
IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS (1994)
ReplyDelete"Dost thou want to read Sutter-y books?"
OFF-TOPIC BUT ON-POINT FOR SCARY MOVIE MONTH! "Hollywood" Heath Ledger just posted his YouTube interview with our own JB to talk about the new 4K UHD Blu-rays for Universal's Classic Monsters. Great half-hour watch. :-D
ReplyDeleteLedger?
DeleteYikes! 🥵🤯 "Hollywood" Heath Holland interviews JB! That's what l get for pulling an all-nighter. 😛😪
DeleteMAUSOLEUM (1983)
ReplyDeleteYou won’t like her when she’s horny
Halloween (1978)
ReplyDeleteSurvivors all remain safe to this day.
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
ReplyDeleteWhat? Nobody else used to play corner?
Blade II (2002, dir. Guillermo del Toro)
ReplyDeletePoints to Blade for using "whom" correctly.
The Lost Boys (1987)
ReplyDeleteFor some reason I'm suddenly craving Chinese.
Midsommar: Director's Cut (2019)
ReplyDeleteMaybe the murder cult aren't good guys
THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA (1973)
ReplyDeleteDracula cameos in a generic conspiracy thriller.
Titane (2021)
ReplyDeleteFrench Firemen lavender dance party? Oui oui!
Halloween (1978) prod./co writer Debra Hill
ReplyDeleteBest last moment in film. Sequels superfluous.
Prom Night (1980)
ReplyDeleteHeadless caveman student ruins the disco prom
Ready or not (2019)
ReplyDeleteWell at least it isn’t Monopoly.
Psycho Goreman (2020)
ReplyDeleteMy little Demon. New playset from Mattel!
Killer Party (1986)
ReplyDeleteFall leaves AND everyone saying “April Fools”??
Muppets Haunted Mansion (2021)
ReplyDeleteAlmost my daughter’s first movie. Then Stamos...
BLOODSUCKING FREAKS (1976)
ReplyDeleteFeels like I need 1,000,000 showers now.
Halloween Kills (2021)
ReplyDeleteEvil Dies Tonight!*
(*Evil dying not guaranteed)
The House of the Devil
ReplyDelete8 dollar medium pizzas. In this economy?
The Keep (1983)
ReplyDeletePushy soul sucking golem seems trustworthy enough.
Antlers (2021)
ReplyDeleteTeacher senses troubled student requires multipronged approach.
The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
ReplyDeleteGood old fashioned phantasmagorical sex comedy allegory.
Angel (1983):
ReplyDeleteNeeding more Donna Wilkes in my life!
Host (2020):
ReplyDeleteSuccess! It’s difficult to make me jump!
Vicious Fun (2020):
ReplyDeleteJulian Richings is one creepy fucking clown
Da Hip Hop Witch(2003 Dir: Dale Resteghini)
ReplyDeleteI guess this is a movie. maybe?
Witchboard (1986) Dir. Kevin Tenney
ReplyDeleteTry explaining this to your captain, copper!
Class of 1984 (1982):
ReplyDeleteA delightful Glee and Dangerous Minds mashup
Doctor Sleep: Director's Cut (2019)
ReplyDeleteAlmost succeeded in making Rebecca Ferguson unlikable
Hell Night (1981)
ReplyDeleteNot particularly hellish, especially for LINDA BLAIR.
Last Night in Soho (2021) Dir. Edgar Wright
ReplyDeleteTurns out it's the same old song.
GIRLS SCHOOL SCREAMERS (1985)
ReplyDeleteCan one lightbulb do that much damage?
Shed of the dead 2019 YouTube
ReplyDeletePure Comedy horror with a British twist
The House of the Devil (2009)
ReplyDeleteOne thing leads to another satanic ritual.
THE INVISIBLE GHOST (1941)
ReplyDeleteLet's go see, let's go see Lugosi.
Saturn 3 1980
ReplyDeleteBody hitting airlock "wires"(?) looked like watermelon.
Midnight Hour 1985
ReplyDeleteSoundtrack alone would sink small boutique label
Dawn of the Dead (1978) Dir. George A. Romero
ReplyDeleteLimited housing opportunities in Hell cause spillover.
Don't Panic (1987)
ReplyDeleteWatched because it was on RLM BOTW
SPOOKS RUN WILD (1941)
ReplyDeleteKids should've stayed in the East End.
A Quiet Place Part II (2020)
ReplyDeleteJust make it bigger, faster and louder.
The Fog (1980)
ReplyDeleteGlowing fog raises less concern than expected
House On Haunted Hill (1999)
ReplyDeleteSeriously, how are they gonna get down?
THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1993):
ReplyDeleteSelick: “I directed it!”
World: “Suuuuurrrreeeee, buddy.”
Halloween Kills (2021) dir. David Gordon Green
ReplyDeleteJust make a ten episode series instead
Scream (1996)
ReplyDelete90’s crush - Neve
20’s crush - the houses!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988) dir. Renny Harlin
ReplyDeleteI am eternal..except mirrors, no mirrors!
Drag Me To Hell (2009)
ReplyDeleteMy new phobia is death by gumming
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985) dir. Jack Sholder
ReplyDelete'The one with the bus' - my dad
Valentine (2001)
ReplyDeleteI was expecting more bow and arrows.
Hellrasier: Hellworld, Rick Bota, 2005
ReplyDeleteWhere Superman receives an incredibly awkward blowjob
Or
Pinhead's easiest gig. He's just hanging out.
HALLOWEENTOWN (1998):
ReplyDeleteRoughly the same plot as HALLOWEEN (2018).
Ticks (1993)
ReplyDeleteY-U-Z-N-A spells "quality!"
Werewolves Within (2021)
ReplyDeleteSmall town politics are just the worst.
Scream (1996)
ReplyDeleteApparantely Scream is my favourite scary movie.
Scream 2 (1997)
ReplyDeleteWho gets up during the cold open?
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
ReplyDeleteFirmly grasp it in your hand grandpa
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
ReplyDeleteBest Punch Pop commercial I've ever seen.
The Village (2004 - M. Night Shyamalan)
ReplyDeleteRevenge or retreat? Bruce Wayne's alternate story.
Vicious Fun (2020 - Cody Calahan)
ReplyDeleteI'll always pop for sloppy killer Kurrgan.
OR
Great movie for a fun Halloween night.
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)
ReplyDeleteHomer: "I call the big one 'Bitey.'"
Shocker (1989)
ReplyDeleteCure for limp: walking on a ladder
HALLOWEENTOWN 2: KALABAN’S REVENGE (2001):
ReplyDeleteScreen legend Debbie Reynolds appears in this.
Arachnophobia (1990)
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced there are spiders everywhere now.
House of the Devil (2009) - Except for the Satanists, pretty easy gig.
ReplyDeleteTHE EARTH DIES SCREAMING (1964)
ReplyDeleteRobots shamble around a small English town.
Old (2021)
ReplyDeleteCorrection: 11 tries to make a baby
DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978)
ReplyDeleteHow's this a mall with no Sbarro?
Dead Heat (1988)
ReplyDeleteThe fish in this movie are cursed
Tales From The Crypt 1972
ReplyDeleteNO ONE treats Peter Cushing like that!!!!
Razorback (1984)
ReplyDeleteMost extreme example of insult to injury
Hell Fest (2018)
ReplyDeleteGavin was too pure for this world.
Final Destination 5 (2011)
ReplyDeleteShyamalan wishes he thought of this twist.
Ernest Scared Stupid(1991 Dir:John R. Cherry)
ReplyDeleteBetter than Hocus Pocus. I said it.
The Conjuring 3:The Devil made me do it(2021). Evils going to need a good chiropractor
ReplyDeleteDAY OF THE DEAD (1985)
ReplyDeleteBreakdown of communication. Collapse of civilization. Bub.
Inhuman Resources
ReplyDeleteThe legal department for the Jigsaw Corporation.
Monsters Crash the Pajama Party 1965
ReplyDeleteMad Scientist labeled clearly, so we know!
Orgy of the Dead 1965
ReplyDeleteTortured by never-ending barrage of topless dancers
Saw a review once that said that with some minor changes this is just Andrew Lloyd Weber's "Cats"
DeletePG: Psycho Goreman (2021)
ReplyDeleteThis movie has my sense of humor.
The Watcher in the Woods (1980)
ReplyDeleteF**k this. I'd rather join The Skulls.
Jakob's Wife (2021)
ReplyDeleteOctober recipient of the repeat viewing bump.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSPIDER BABY (1967)
ReplyDeleteThe maddest seven word review ever told.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Black Cat 1934
ReplyDeleteThat's one way to skin a Karloff
Bad Moon(1996) Man's best friend vs worlds hairiest Uncle
ReplyDeleteFido (2006) dir. Andrew Currie
ReplyDeleteTrinity’s favorite Matrix world. Fido is Neo.
Häxan 1922
ReplyDeleteBlack metal wish they had these visuals
Terrorvision 1986
ReplyDeleteGerrit Graham gives a bud a chub.
(Halloween 2007, Dir Rob Zombie)
ReplyDeleteBetter than remembered. Still not my jam
or
Hasn't Danielle been thru enough Meyer shit
Bones (2001)
ReplyDeleteSnoop Doggy dogg doggy dogg doggy gghost
Halloween Kills (2021)
ReplyDeleteHad a good time, ignoring the critics
Saw II (2005)
ReplyDeleteDoor marked exit always the way out
Saw III (2006)
ReplyDeleteOh what a tangled web we weave
Event Horizon (1997)
ReplyDeleteI always feel like ... somebody's watchin me ...
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete