Russell Mulcahy's SILENT TRIGGER (1996, AMAZON PRIME) for the first time. Also streaming on PLUTO TV).
Though it has quite a few more bucks to spend than the first two 90's Action! flicks we talked about ($9 million per IMDB), "Silent Trigger" somehow manages to look/feel far cheaper and smaller than it actually is. Cutting back-and-forth between present (an abandoned half-constructed skyscraper with "wings" in its penthouse) and past (an assassination attempt gone awry in a war-torn country), an eponymous 'Shooter' (Dolph Lundgren) and his attractive, naive and rookie 'Spotter' (Gina Bellman doing an impressive Annabella Sciorra impersonation) argue, stare at each other, lower/build-up their emotional defenses and fall into and out of trouble with superior offices trying in vain to make them carry out their killing tasks. And just because the existential crisis of these not-likable-despite-being-attractive would-be assassins isn't dramatic enough for Herrington and screenwriter Sergio Altieri, a white trash security guard (Conrad Dunn) who has the hots for 'Spotter' spends a third of the film's running time either trying to rape her, cursing her or beating the snot out of her. I'll take what little action "Silent Trigger" can deliver (complete with some "Die Hard"-caliber ginormous squibs like they don't make anymore), but damn if the toxic masculinity rapey vibe for most of the first two thirds left a yucky taste in my mouth. :-(
If you can tolerate Rowdy Herrington's obsession with warehouse-like open spaces to flash giant lights on his actors (or spotty direction like a "dead" extra visibly opening her eyes on-camera at 66:35 min. :-O) "Silent Trigger" is just shy of passable. Decent green screen/matte painting job for the abandoned graveyard of buildings most of the story takes place in (when not flashbacking to a movie set filled with cartoony war-torn extras), and the handful of times cannon fodder shows up Dolph dispatching these goons with his Iver Johnson AMAC-1500 .50 BMG rifle is a thing of beauty. If only there was one (just one) likable character in the story I could have ranked it higher than 3 DRUG-INDUCED CG SPIDER HALLUCINATIONS (out of 5). ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I finally watch Rapid Fire and it was glorious. Powers Booth is a genuine sexy beast. I love how this movie is about Heritage, grief and fighting for something good. It makes it more painful that it's Brandon Lee. Who was a true movie star. Rapid Fire is a fantastic Chicago Crime movie and I am happy I finally have this in my life. Did I mention how sexy Powers Booth is?
IFD has a website and yes, it’s near comical in how much they reveal and how they have never edited their many typos. I mean, this site is full of typos too — people email me about them all the time — but I am actively trying to clean them up.
Here’s what they had to say about Kickboxer the Champion: “A killer and a Trader must battle the odds in the name of honor and justice.
In Shanghai between the wars, one man, Kingsley, is determined to corner the opium trade for all of China by controlling the shipping routes. Boxer is an honest trader who stands in his way, Knowing that Boxer and his friend Richard are amateur kickboxers, Kingsley unleashes his champion, Bulldog on him.
Once Boxer has been eliminated all chaos breaks out in gangland, with crime bosses at each others throats and killers-for-hire assassinating all who oppose Kingsley. It is up to Boxer’s friend Richard to challenge Bulldog to a battle-to-the-death to ensure that justice is served.”
One person has reviewed this — to date — on Letterboxd and only 2 have seen it on IMDB. That’s incredible, because the ninja Godfrey Ho movies are packed with viewers. I guess he was right: you really should just make hundreds of ninja movies.
What is even more amazing is that this movie was edited together with new footage and also scenes from a movie made 17 years earlier — a record, defeating the previous champion, the 16 years different Terror, Sexo Y Brujeria — called Chu zu zuo shou di ren. It also has some recognizable people in it like Sing Chen and Carter Wong, who most American audiences recognize as Thunder from Big Trouble In Little China. Wayne Archer, who plays Kingsley, was also in Operation Condor and several other Godfrey Ho films.
At this point, Godfrey realized that every movie on the shelf in most video stores was saying kickboxer, so he probably made the right movie. It looks like an actual movie, but that’s not what I expect or demand from IFD movies. I want utter inanity and this doesn’t really give me that movie drug rush that I need. It does, however, have white dudes continually proving themselves to be the best fighters in the world, so if you do run a video store, file this under science fiction.
It does, however, make liberal and non-copyright-respecting use of the Psycho theme.
Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a French cop who learns he has a twin brother he didn't even know existed. Unfortunately, that brother is dead because he was mixed up with the Russian mafia in New York, so obviously JCVD tries to find his killer by assuming his brother's identity, which of course includes getting it on with his girlfriend (Natasha Henstridge).
There's a lot more plot and fewer fight scenes than Van Damme's best movies, and the fight scenes we do get don't really let him demonstrate his martial arts prowess (though I did enjoy the one-on-one elevator fight between JCVD and a terrifying-looking goon played by Stefanos Miltsakakis). My favorite part of the movie was the two-scene performance by Frank van Keeken as the weird, manic New York cab driver who ends up helping JCVD.
Con Air (1997, dir. Simon West)
My first rewatch of the month, but it's a movie I hadn't seen in over 20 years, so it was almost a first time watch.
When a group of dangerous convicts take over the airplane transporting them, it's up to the one good guy on board, a newly-paroled ex-soldier (Nic Cage), to save the day.
It's a dumb action movie with a stacked cast it doesn't deserve. The movie would be 20% better if it wasn't so desperately trying (and failing) to be "cool", but I guess that's 90's Action for you. A bad movie, and yet extremely watchable.
THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS (1998, d. Antoine Fuqua) Rewatch on Mill Creek BluRay, 7/10. When I saw this in theaters I thought it was fine & entertaining but 'obviously' fell short of the Hong Kong cinema my 19-year old self knew very little about. Sure enough, it's no HARD BOILED. I don't think I've watched it since, but I know I haven't owned a copy until recently. Since my current mood about action cinema is that any movie that actually flips or even drives an actual vehicle someplace rates higher, Fuqua's first feature is more than fine. I think he's made a legitimate Bullet Ballet & that if essentially the same film were made in Hong Kong it would receive much fonder attention. My rating almost went up a full point for big-screen Mr. Magoo.
Dug the first one so much that I decided to keep going...
While not exactly a sequel to the original film, Mark Lester's spiritual successor still tackles issues in education, gang warfare, and policing. In this film, which is significantly more of an action film compared to the first entry, robot teachers take over classrooms with strict corporal punishment (the scene where one robot teacher spanks a student is unbelievably funny) and zero tolerance for nonsense. The techno-educators are played by Pam Grier, John P. Ryan, and Patrick Kilpatrick, under the direction of a white-haired and white-eyed Stacy Keach, to great evil effect. The film's tagline of THE ULTIMATE TEACHING MACHINE…OUT OF CONTROL shows the direction that the film will ultimately go because...of course this is a bad idea! But this teacher couldn't help but get a kick out of it.
What other movie featured Arnold, around the time of Last Action Hero and True Lies?
The direct-to-video Beretta's Island (1993), of course!
If you have not seen this so-bad-it's-good gem, what are you doing? Stop right now and set a reminder to find this movie! (Note: It's not listed on Justwatch, but I did find it on Youtube.)
Franco Columbu wrote and stars in Beretta's Island as Franco "Beretta" Armando. As one of Columbu’s oldest friends, Arnold Schwarzenegger appears in one early scene, but of course also makes it onto the VHS cover!
A small sample of things that make this movie so great: • the totally surplus workout scene with Franco and Arnold spotting each other, which goes on for far too long • wine-making in a suburban Los Angeles home’s garage/driveway • delicious timing and technique in all the fight choreography, including the bullets that feel like punches • at a cemetery, Franco apprehending an evil-doer… which is possibly shot on a Columbu family grave? what an easter egg! • heavy betting on a youth soccer game played on a gravel field • Franco indulging in various activities and forms of local Sardinia culture… while he’s supposed to be on a case to hunt down the baddies! …plus so many other unnecessary scenes and dialogue!
If this appeals to you, rest assured: there is much more that I haven’t mentioned, and it’s paced out wonderfully. For 90% of the movie, we didn’t wait too long before the next time we paused to say “did that just happen”. I recommend watching with friends, because sharing this would be a great gift and experience for all. It’s dynamite.
This might be my ideal movie for Junesploitation. It’s incredibly dumb and goofy but has a stellar cast and enough WTF moments to be entertaining for all of its 75min runtime - the Mark Lester Special.
Dolph Lundgren plays the ultimate “way into Japanese culture” white boy cop who gets partnered with military-brat-who-knows-nothing-about-his-cultural-heritage cop played by Brandon Lee. The yakuza, headed of course by scary Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, have taken over the L.A. drug trade with their rock candy UltraMeth™ and hatred of women. Tia Carrere is the club singer employed by the yakuza who gets in over her head and falls into the giant sweaty arms of Lundgren and Lee. It pretty much goes exactly where you’d expect from there.
The partnership dynamic between the two leads is a bit odd. You totally buy them as who the characters are written to be, it’s more about how they compliment and balance each other in the plot and action because Lundgren gets the high-status position at every opportunity. He knows everything about the yakuza, gets the girl, singe-handedly gets revenge on his parent’s killer, etc. Makes me wonder if there was some weird ego flexing that went on behind the scenes. And yet… Lundgren still comes off as incredibly doofy with his teenage fetishization of bushido and his constant Kool-Aid Man-ing through walls and flipping cars over for cover during shootouts.
Speaking of subs(text), there’s a delightful bit of queerness to Lee’s character that can’t be overlooked. Again, with Lundgren being the high-status one, all he has to do is darken door frames and everyone caught in his shadow is suddenly pregnant. Lee, who is a stunningly handsome pretty boy, has to overcompensate in the most unbelievably incredulous ways like making sure the entire room is aware that he’s definitely coming back to this club to get titty sushi. For Dorothy’s sake, he literally tells Lundgren before they jump into a fight, “…just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you, you have the biggest dick I’ve ever seen on a man.” Telling your co-worker you’ve seen his UniSol and think it’s exceptional right before a gunfight is the best gay bro shit there is and I’m here for it.
Come for the one-liners, window smashes, bad fashion, Where’s Al Leong?, and hot tub Tia Carrere. Stay (or also come ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) for the bromance.
New-to-me: THE GLIMMER MAN (1996) Here's a movie trying too many things at once. Steven Seagal plays a former spy who's now a cop, AND he's a Buddhist monk? And the case involves a serial killer, and some gangsters, and police corruption, and an evil politician, AND the murder of the Glimmer Man's ex-wife? Who can follow any of this??? The good news is there's a lot of classic Seagal slap-fighting for your buck, there's a deep bench of reliable character actors, and Keenan Ivory Wayans is fun as the partner who has no patience for all this B.S. A mixed bag, as the saying goes.
Old fave: TOTAL RECALL (1990) What's not to love? 1) Huge production value. 2) Outrageous action and violence. 3) A twisty-turny, mind-bening plot, and 4) arguably Arnold's best work as an actor. I especially enjoy the Earthbound stuff at the start of the movie, and I always wish we could spend more time there before getting our a** to Mars. But that's the quibbliest of quibbles. I've seen this a bajillion times, and it's a thrill ride each time.
Like the Crack of a whip Jeff Speakman Kicks and attacks Front to Back In this movie that's far from crap. bad dudes scared showing serious tremble. Jeff beating on them , kicking their temples Fighting in the day, night and all other time Scenes so good they aged like good wine Mako, Professor Tanaka and James Wong all in this thing. This cast is really insane Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, yeah, yeah, yeah-eah Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, yeah, getting kinda heavy
JCVD in white tube socks, classic! The Ashley Bartlet Bacon backstory! “I’m all ears.” !!! The UniSols are as good of shots as Imperial Troopers. Lucky there was a ramp inside the motel lobby. The Cohens stole the wood chipper idea from this?!?!?!
Still holds up. It's awesome. The opening scene is still one of the most intense scenes ever put on film. The plane transfer stunt is arguably the GOAT. The 4K looks GORGEOUS. What a treat.
Rewatching two not so classic, but entertaining films. First up was Back in Action (1994) starring Roddy Piper and Billy Blanks taking on a drug cartel. Lots of bullets and blood squibs.
Following it up is Without Mercy (1995). A Rapi Films production trying its best to convince us it's an American film. A Marine gets framed for a murder he didn't commit. I don't remember a lot from this one.
An extremely mid-90s adaptation of an indie comic about a spunky, crazy-haired Lori Petty driving her tank in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. There's frankly not a lot of pure action here, but I'm really glad I could finally cross this one off the list.
I really loved the movie's trashy, garish style and bratty attitude, both embodied by the title character. Petty gives her all as the cheeky heroine (I'm sure I'm not the first to point out that her performance seems to be cut from the same cloth as Margot Robbie's much more celebrated take on Harley Quinn), and she gets some great help from a dark-haired Naomi Watts. There are static comic book panels, entire animated sequences, quite a lot of horniness (not always of a super wholesome variety - it was the mid-90s after all), a pretty badass pimped-out tank, a full-on musical number in the middle, a squad of mutant supersoldiers (including a sax-playing beat poet), and Malcolm McDowell hamming it up as an evil corporation overlord. It's a lot, and not everything totally works, but I was on this movie's side so completely that I was willing to forgive any narrative or technical shoddiness (in the final battle there are multiple shots where you can clearly see the wires). Honestly, it's kind of a mess, but a very charming and rewarding mess.
First time viewing. Patrick has talked about this movie forever and I traditionally like to use Junesploitation to catch up on my blind spots, so I waited until now to see it. I suppose the obvious reaction is that it proves what a tragedy the death of Brandon Lee was because he's so great in this. But, it's also a shame that we don't get movies like this on a regular basis anymore because the whole thing is terrific.
ANGEL TOWN (1990, d. Eric Karson) First-time watch on MVD BluRay, 8/10. JCVD runner-up Olivier Gruner leaves France where he's used to banging blondes in the cemetery so he can attend grad school in L.A. Forced to live in gangland, Gruner tries to help Theresa Saldana, enlisting Peter Kwong & his dojo. This isn't amazing, but it was just what I didn't know I needed. L.A. gang violence, math & flashbacks to the French ghetto. Gruner had to deal with the same harsh discipline as Billy from SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, thanks to Lilyan Chauvin; no wonder he's dangerous. Saldana could be her character from Flynn's DEFIANCE, 10yrs later. No wonder she married the Commish next year... The Imperial imprint gives ANGEL TOWN that vaguely foreign feeling that has nothing to do with Gruner's accent. The image has a slightly washed-out, sunny look that's perfect for summer.
Last of the Finest (1990, Dir. John Mackenzie) asks the age-old dramatic question: What if Brian Dennehy led his own A-Team style gang of LAPD officers against departmental corruption and a government-funded drug ring? Joe Pantoliano, Jeff Fahey and Bill Paxton do some of their best cop acting as members of Dennehy's squad, each with their own specialty and personality quirks. The film spends a lot of time on the inner life of each officer, how they barbecue, play football, vacation and camp together like one big extended family. Not every film can pull this level of lived-in relationship off, especially action films, but boy these guys chemistry is off the charts. Come for the action, stay for the bromance.
Ring of Fire (1991) and Ring of Fire II: Blood and Steel (1993). Both these movie are directed by Richard Munchkin and star Don "The Dragon" Wilson and Maria Ford. I had heard Part 2 was super good, so I decided to watch the first one as well.
Part 1 is super low budget, and about 2 rival teams of kickfighters. A girlfriend (Ford) from one team falls in love with a fighter from another team (The Dragon) who also is a full time doctor, and also works night shift as a waiter. Busy dude. The fighting honestly isn't the best, and whole swaths of the movie are spent on the romance which however is kind of sweet. There's a big climax that ends with the girl getting stabbed...and then the movie just ends.
Part 2, Blood and Steel, opens not long after the 1st one ends, and it opens with a bang. There a robbery that is foiled, with a shootout, and a big car chase with huge explosions, and the baddies kidnap the girl from the hospital. Then it takes a turn (I think blew their whole budget already), and the rest of the movie is spent travelling through some underground world (ie. cheap soundstages) fighting various baddies (like from The Warriors) on the way to save the girl. A discount Forest Whitaker helps our hero along until they finally come in and blast the baddies. But at the end they found it in the budget to return to the surface and film a huge explosion.
The 2nd one has a bigger score, bigger fights, more characters, bigger explosions, but think I liked the 1st one better, for the romantic sub-plot, as cheesy as the acting was. Just a better story, and was a little more enjoyable with the cheesiness. The 2nd felt repetitive as they fought one baddie after another, and M. Ford was barely in it (she was captured by the baddies the whole movie). All in all, a decent low budget fight franchise, but not really a recommend. There's a 3rd, but I'm not going to seek it out.
UNDECLARED WAR (1990, d. Ringo Lam) First-time watch on Vinegar Syndrome BluRay, 8/10. Inspector Bong? I hardly knew her. International "dissidents" Olivia Hussey & Vernon Wells get on the personal shitlist of GHOULIES' own Peter Liapis. Liapis' C.I.A. credentials don't make a partnership with Hong Kong cop Danny Lee very easy, but neither does all the terrorism. Great Hong Kong action flick with Rosamund Kwan & Mars along for the ride. Perhaps UNDECLARED WAR would make a nice chaser for NIGHTHAWKS...
I thought I had seen most of this on cable over the years but I didn't really remember much. What a slog. The only positive thing I will take away is Jean Reno's Elvis impression.
It's Nic Cage as John Travolta playing Nic Cage versus John Travolta as Nic Cage playing John Travolta versus the universal laws of physics and just plain ol' common sense in this under-intelligent, over-the-top fiasco from John Woo. I loved Woo's Hong Kong action flicks, and he borrows liberally from them here, but there's something lost in translation that turns this into one laugh-riot of an action epic. The acting is ludicrous, the dialogue insipid, and there's an amazing number of bullets wasted as, like a fifth-grade basketball game, no one can seem to shoot straight. It all adds up to an epic of complete nonsense that, taken as a comedy, might be satisfying if one only ignore the treacly score and accept the squandered opportunity of the 140 minute runtime. And WTF is Joan Allen doing in this???
In my personal ranking system, the highest praise i can give a movie usually comes down to "rewatchability". Welp this is one of my fav movies ever and i find it ENDLESSLY rewatchable. Its incredible. All i can say is...."4k WHEN!?!?!?!"
What can I say, Stallone is great again, and again, and again. Very cheesy, very violent and very funny.
The world building in this is also great ! Listening to old radio ads like music, wiping with 3 seashells and now we know for sure that you really cant out-pizza the hut.
Speed (1994) first time...more entertaining than it has any right to be, thanks to Dennis Hopper... this is so 90s down to the opening music and Microsoft Word 3D text
In this age of CGI-everything and endlessly powerful superheroes, it's nice to be reminded that the world has produced one super human: Jackie Chan. While the Hong Kong sensibilities of the storytelling are admittedly not for me, my god are the fight scenes flawless. There were times that I had to remind myself that I was actually watching Jackie Chan jump between 2 building, with out digital manipulation or even a safety harness. It's just hard to believe that we actually used to let people make movies this way.
THE BIG HIT (1998, d. Kirk Wong) Rewatch on Sony BluRay, still 6/10. JOHN WICK 0 starring Dirk Diggler. I haven't seen this since its theatrical release. Every time this movie gets so silly that I can't stand it, something more entertaining happens & I'm smiling again. The soundtrack made me dizzy (especially since I listened to the CD too often back when) waiting for the good songs that seem only to be prominent during the end credits. Notably: "Don't Sleep" by Mark Wahlberg. I wish the video store biz was the A-story with the whole kidnapping & assassination plot slid back to B. Maybe an action-packed goof on AMERICAN PSYCHO. Oh well.
THE TAKING OF BEVERLY HILLS (1991) dir. Sidney J. Furie
Ken Wahl’s mullet vs. Robert Davi’s singing! Mister Body, Max Headroom, Ferris Bueller’s dad AND The Favor’s Harley Jane Kozak! The world’s biggest bubble bath! EMF’s Unbelievable! Faith No More’s Epic!
If anything, Patrick and Adam undersold this. It’s bananas and everyone involved was 100% committed.
“It’s only halftime my friend. Only halftime.”
“You know, I really hate guys who don’t like football.”
Of all the regular Junesploitation categories, '90s action is the one that I learn the most from. Besides the early 1990s films, this is a big gap in my movie-watching. Though there are still films of the period that I still find difficult to warm up to, I have a much greater appreciation for them.
DRIVE (1997, dir. Steve Wang) – A modest action comedy starring Mark Dacascos that does not do anything new but entertains. Dacascos is a super-charged killer from Hong Kong fleeing to the United States, but his employers are hot on his trail. Kadeem Hardison is the reluctant sidekick who accompanies him on the journey. The action scenes are handled well and get bigger as the level of ridiculousness rises. It’s fine.
I'm not sure I have seen this since it's release in '93. Everything about it is so 90's. The charming good guys Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Oliver Platt and Chris O'Donnell, the devious villains Tim Curry, Michael Wincott and Rebecca De Mornay, with Gabrielle Anwar as the Queen and Julie Delpy as her hand maiden, who stands out for being the only cast member in this French classic with a French accent. On top of that throw in a theme song featuring Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting.
As you would expect it doesn't take itself too seriously and doesn't expect much from its audience than to go along for the ride and have fun with it.
Former kickboxer champ and legit badass Kathy long is the Stranger. Andrew Divoff is the leader of the gang that runs a small desert town. When Divoff takes his best men out on a heist Long flies in and starts taking out all the bikers left in town like a wraith. But as she fight the bikers certain townsfolk fight her. Until it all comes to a boiling point when Divoff returns. This movie just wasn't good. Despite all the actors dong their best , This mix of Yojimbo, The Wraith, The Crow and High Noon makes no sense. Characters seemed to be playing three different roles but wearing the same costumes. They change motivation and personalities from scene to scene. In one scene Ginger Allen watches Long kill two bikers in her store, is so terrified she could barely hand Long a bag but follows Long into the bar and instantly starts "Don't be messing with my man" to Long. What was her man doing? Well her man the sheriff was questioning Long about the murders. Its insane. I'd almost recommend it just on the wtf-ness of the whole thing if the action was good. But tis not. Its that kind of 90s low effort DTV Pose-Fu action that made the stuff made being made the same time in foreign markets so appealing. Plusses include a really young Danny Trejo, Vivoff who's playing half bodhisattva and half psycho and a surprise Gregg Henry. Long does her best but her skills are never put on display.
This one has the interesting feel of a live televised stage play. Ice T stars and provides an EP worth of original songs. That's where the similarities to Ricochet end ;-) Soundtrack also features a hot joint from co-star Romany Malco!(?)
Russell Mulcahy's SILENT TRIGGER (1996, AMAZON PRIME) for the first time. Also streaming on PLUTO TV).
ReplyDeleteThough it has quite a few more bucks to spend than the first two 90's Action! flicks we talked about ($9 million per IMDB), "Silent Trigger" somehow manages to look/feel far cheaper and smaller than it actually is. Cutting back-and-forth between present (an abandoned half-constructed skyscraper with "wings" in its penthouse) and past (an assassination attempt gone awry in a war-torn country), an eponymous 'Shooter' (Dolph Lundgren) and his attractive, naive and rookie 'Spotter' (Gina Bellman doing an impressive Annabella Sciorra impersonation) argue, stare at each other, lower/build-up their emotional defenses and fall into and out of trouble with superior offices trying in vain to make them carry out their killing tasks. And just because the existential crisis of these not-likable-despite-being-attractive would-be assassins isn't dramatic enough for Herrington and screenwriter Sergio Altieri, a white trash security guard (Conrad Dunn) who has the hots for 'Spotter' spends a third of the film's running time either trying to rape her, cursing her or beating the snot out of her. I'll take what little action "Silent Trigger" can deliver (complete with some "Die Hard"-caliber ginormous squibs like they don't make anymore), but damn if the toxic masculinity rapey vibe for most of the first two thirds left a yucky taste in my mouth. :-(
If you can tolerate Rowdy Herrington's obsession with warehouse-like open spaces to flash giant lights on his actors (or spotty direction like a "dead" extra visibly opening her eyes on-camera at 66:35 min. :-O) "Silent Trigger" is just shy of passable. Decent green screen/matte painting job for the abandoned graveyard of buildings most of the story takes place in (when not flashbacking to a movie set filled with cartoony war-torn extras), and the handful of times cannon fodder shows up Dolph dispatching these goons with his Iver Johnson AMAC-1500 .50 BMG rifle is a thing of beauty. If only there was one (just one) likable character in the story I could have ranked it higher than 3 DRUG-INDUCED CG SPIDER HALLUCINATIONS (out of 5). ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Rapid Fire, Dwight H. Little, 1992
ReplyDeleteI finally watch Rapid Fire and it was glorious. Powers Booth is a genuine sexy beast. I love how this movie is about Heritage, grief and fighting for something good. It makes it more painful that it's Brandon Lee. Who was a true movie star. Rapid Fire is a fantastic Chicago Crime movie and I am happy I finally have this in my life. Did I mention how sexy Powers Booth is?
Kickboxer the Champion (1991)
ReplyDeleteIFD has a website and yes, it’s near comical in how much they reveal and how they have never edited their many typos. I mean, this site is full of typos too — people email me about them all the time — but I am actively trying to clean them up.
Here’s what they had to say about Kickboxer the Champion: “A killer and a Trader must battle the odds in the name of honor and justice.
In Shanghai between the wars, one man, Kingsley, is determined to corner the opium trade for all of China by controlling the shipping routes. Boxer is an honest trader who stands in his way, Knowing that Boxer and his friend Richard are amateur kickboxers, Kingsley unleashes his champion, Bulldog on him.
Once Boxer has been eliminated all chaos breaks out in gangland, with crime bosses at each others throats and killers-for-hire assassinating all who oppose Kingsley. It is up to Boxer’s friend Richard to challenge Bulldog to a battle-to-the-death to ensure that justice is served.”
One person has reviewed this — to date — on Letterboxd and only 2 have seen it on IMDB. That’s incredible, because the ninja Godfrey Ho movies are packed with viewers. I guess he was right: you really should just make hundreds of ninja movies.
What is even more amazing is that this movie was edited together with new footage and also scenes from a movie made 17 years earlier — a record, defeating the previous champion, the 16 years different Terror, Sexo Y Brujeria — called Chu zu zuo shou di ren. It also has some recognizable people in it like Sing Chen and Carter Wong, who most American audiences recognize as Thunder from Big Trouble In Little China. Wayne Archer, who plays Kingsley, was also in Operation Condor and several other Godfrey Ho films.
At this point, Godfrey realized that every movie on the shelf in most video stores was saying kickboxer, so he probably made the right movie. It looks like an actual movie, but that’s not what I expect or demand from IFD movies. I want utter inanity and this doesn’t really give me that movie drug rush that I need. It does, however, have white dudes continually proving themselves to be the best fighters in the world, so if you do run a video store, file this under science fiction.
It does, however, make liberal and non-copyright-respecting use of the Psycho theme.
The "this site is full of typos" applies to my site and not your fine one!
DeleteMaximum Risk (1996, dir. Ringo Lam)
ReplyDeleteJean-Claude Van Damme plays a French cop who learns he has a twin brother he didn't even know existed. Unfortunately, that brother is dead because he was mixed up with the Russian mafia in New York, so obviously JCVD tries to find his killer by assuming his brother's identity, which of course includes getting it on with his girlfriend (Natasha Henstridge).
There's a lot more plot and fewer fight scenes than Van Damme's best movies, and the fight scenes we do get don't really let him demonstrate his martial arts prowess (though I did enjoy the one-on-one elevator fight between JCVD and a terrifying-looking goon played by Stefanos Miltsakakis). My favorite part of the movie was the two-scene performance by Frank van Keeken as the weird, manic New York cab driver who ends up helping JCVD.
Con Air (1997, dir. Simon West)
My first rewatch of the month, but it's a movie I hadn't seen in over 20 years, so it was almost a first time watch.
When a group of dangerous convicts take over the airplane transporting them, it's up to the one good guy on board, a newly-paroled ex-soldier (Nic Cage), to save the day.
It's a dumb action movie with a stacked cast it doesn't deserve. The movie would be 20% better if it wasn't so desperately trying (and failing) to be "cool", but I guess that's 90's Action for you. A bad movie, and yet extremely watchable.
THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS (1998, d. Antoine Fuqua)
ReplyDeleteRewatch on Mill Creek BluRay, 7/10.
When I saw this in theaters I thought it was fine & entertaining but 'obviously' fell short of the Hong Kong cinema my 19-year old self knew very little about. Sure enough, it's no HARD BOILED. I don't think I've watched it since, but I know I haven't owned a copy until recently. Since my current mood about action cinema is that any movie that actually flips or even drives an actual vehicle someplace rates higher, Fuqua's first feature is more than fine. I think he's made a legitimate Bullet Ballet & that if essentially the same film were made in Hong Kong it would receive much fonder attention.
My rating almost went up a full point for big-screen Mr. Magoo.
Class of 1999 (1990)
ReplyDeleteDug the first one so much that I decided to keep going...
While not exactly a sequel to the original film, Mark Lester's spiritual successor still tackles issues in education, gang warfare, and policing. In this film, which is significantly more of an action film compared to the first entry, robot teachers take over classrooms with strict corporal punishment (the scene where one robot teacher spanks a student is unbelievably funny) and zero tolerance for nonsense. The techno-educators are played by Pam Grier, John P. Ryan, and Patrick Kilpatrick, under the direction of a white-haired and white-eyed Stacy Keach, to great evil effect. The film's tagline of THE ULTIMATE TEACHING MACHINE…OUT OF CONTROL shows the direction that the film will ultimately go because...of course this is a bad idea! But this teacher couldn't help but get a kick out of it.
What other movie featured Arnold, around the time of Last Action Hero and True Lies?
ReplyDeleteThe direct-to-video Beretta's Island (1993), of course!
If you have not seen this so-bad-it's-good gem, what are you doing? Stop right now and set a reminder to find this movie! (Note: It's not listed on Justwatch, but I did find it on Youtube.)
Franco Columbu wrote and stars in Beretta's Island as Franco "Beretta" Armando. As one of Columbu’s oldest friends, Arnold Schwarzenegger appears in one early scene, but of course also makes it onto the VHS cover!
A small sample of things that make this movie so great:
• the totally surplus workout scene with Franco and Arnold spotting each other, which goes on for far too long
• wine-making in a suburban Los Angeles home’s garage/driveway
• delicious timing and technique in all the fight choreography, including the bullets that feel like punches
• at a cemetery, Franco apprehending an evil-doer… which is possibly shot on a Columbu family grave? what an easter egg!
• heavy betting on a youth soccer game played on a gravel field
• Franco indulging in various activities and forms of local Sardinia culture… while he’s supposed to be on a case to hunt down the baddies! …plus so many other unnecessary scenes and dialogue!
If this appeals to you, rest assured: there is much more that I haven’t mentioned, and it’s paced out wonderfully. For 90% of the movie, we didn’t wait too long before the next time we paused to say “did that just happen”. I recommend watching with friends, because sharing this would be a great gift and experience for all. It’s dynamite.
Happy Junesploitation!
Showdown in Little Tokyo - 1991, dir. Mark Lester
ReplyDeleteThis might be my ideal movie for Junesploitation. It’s incredibly dumb and goofy but has a stellar cast and enough WTF moments to be entertaining for all of its 75min runtime - the Mark Lester Special.
Dolph Lundgren plays the ultimate “way into Japanese culture” white boy cop who gets partnered with military-brat-who-knows-nothing-about-his-cultural-heritage cop played by Brandon Lee. The yakuza, headed of course by scary Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, have taken over the L.A. drug trade with their rock candy UltraMeth™ and hatred of women. Tia Carrere is the club singer employed by the yakuza who gets in over her head and falls into the giant sweaty arms of Lundgren and Lee. It pretty much goes exactly where you’d expect from there.
The partnership dynamic between the two leads is a bit odd. You totally buy them as who the characters are written to be, it’s more about how they compliment and balance each other in the plot and action because Lundgren gets the high-status position at every opportunity. He knows everything about the yakuza, gets the girl, singe-handedly gets revenge on his parent’s killer, etc. Makes me wonder if there was some weird ego flexing that went on behind the scenes. And yet… Lundgren still comes off as incredibly doofy with his teenage fetishization of bushido and his constant Kool-Aid Man-ing through walls and flipping cars over for cover during shootouts.
Speaking of subs(text), there’s a delightful bit of queerness to Lee’s character that can’t be overlooked. Again, with Lundgren being the high-status one, all he has to do is darken door frames and everyone caught in his shadow is suddenly pregnant. Lee, who is a stunningly handsome pretty boy, has to overcompensate in the most unbelievably incredulous ways like making sure the entire room is aware that he’s definitely coming back to this club to get titty sushi. For Dorothy’s sake, he literally tells Lundgren before they jump into a fight, “…just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you, you have the biggest dick I’ve ever seen on a man.” Telling your co-worker you’ve seen his UniSol and think it’s exceptional right before a gunfight is the best gay bro shit there is and I’m here for it.
Come for the one-liners, window smashes, bad fashion, Where’s Al Leong?, and hot tub Tia Carrere. Stay (or also come ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) for the bromance.
New-to-me: THE GLIMMER MAN (1996)
ReplyDeleteHere's a movie trying too many things at once. Steven Seagal plays a former spy who's now a cop, AND he's a Buddhist monk? And the case involves a serial killer, and some gangsters, and police corruption, and an evil politician, AND the murder of the Glimmer Man's ex-wife? Who can follow any of this??? The good news is there's a lot of classic Seagal slap-fighting for your buck, there's a deep bench of reliable character actors, and Keenan Ivory Wayans is fun as the partner who has no patience for all this B.S. A mixed bag, as the saying goes.
Old fave: TOTAL RECALL (1990)
What's not to love? 1) Huge production value. 2) Outrageous action and violence. 3) A twisty-turny, mind-bening plot, and 4) arguably Arnold's best work as an actor. I especially enjoy the Earthbound stuff at the start of the movie, and I always wish we could spend more time there before getting our a** to Mars. But that's the quibbliest of quibbles. I've seen this a bajillion times, and it's a thrill ride each time.
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ReplyDeleteThe Perfect Weapon(1991 Dir, Mark Disalle)
ReplyDeleteLike the Crack of a whip Jeff Speakman Kicks and attacks
Front to Back In this movie that's far from crap.
bad dudes scared showing serious tremble.
Jeff beating on them , kicking their temples
Fighting in the day, night and all other time
Scenes so good they aged like good wine
Mako, Professor Tanaka and James Wong all in this thing.
This cast is really insane
Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, yeah, yeah, yeah-eah
Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, yeah, getting kinda heavy
{applause} well done Munkee. well done indeed.
DeleteUNIVERSAL SOLDIER (1992)
ReplyDeletedir. Roland Emmerich
JCVD in white tube socks, classic!
The Ashley Bartlet Bacon backstory!
“I’m all ears.” !!!
The UniSols are as good of shots as Imperial Troopers.
Lucky there was a ramp inside the motel lobby.
The Cohens stole the wood chipper idea from this?!?!?!
“Look for something unusual, something hard.”
Cliffhanger (1993, dir. Renny Harlin)
ReplyDeleteStill holds up. It's awesome. The opening scene is still one of the most intense scenes ever put on film. The plane transfer stunt is arguably the GOAT. The 4K looks GORGEOUS. What a treat.
Rewatching two not so classic, but entertaining films. First up was Back in Action (1994) starring Roddy Piper and Billy Blanks taking on a drug cartel. Lots of bullets and blood squibs.
ReplyDeleteFollowing it up is Without Mercy (1995). A Rapi Films production trying its best to convince us it's an American film. A Marine gets framed for a murder he didn't commit. I don't remember a lot from this one.
Tank Girl (1995)
ReplyDeleteAn extremely mid-90s adaptation of an indie comic about a spunky, crazy-haired Lori Petty driving her tank in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. There's frankly not a lot of pure action here, but I'm really glad I could finally cross this one off the list.
I really loved the movie's trashy, garish style and bratty attitude, both embodied by the title character. Petty gives her all as the cheeky heroine (I'm sure I'm not the first to point out that her performance seems to be cut from the same cloth as Margot Robbie's much more celebrated take on Harley Quinn), and she gets some great help from a dark-haired Naomi Watts. There are static comic book panels, entire animated sequences, quite a lot of horniness (not always of a super wholesome variety - it was the mid-90s after all), a pretty badass pimped-out tank, a full-on musical number in the middle, a squad of mutant supersoldiers (including a sax-playing beat poet), and Malcolm McDowell hamming it up as an evil corporation overlord. It's a lot, and not everything totally works, but I was on this movie's side so completely that I was willing to forgive any narrative or technical shoddiness (in the final battle there are multiple shots where you can clearly see the wires). Honestly, it's kind of a mess, but a very charming and rewarding mess.
i havent revisited since theaters. i wanted to love it soo much. maybe its time to retry?
DeleteRapid Fire (1992)
ReplyDeleteFirst time viewing. Patrick has talked about this movie forever and I traditionally like to use Junesploitation to catch up on my blind spots, so I waited until now to see it. I suppose the obvious reaction is that it proves what a tragedy the death of Brandon Lee was because he's so great in this. But, it's also a shame that we don't get movies like this on a regular basis anymore because the whole thing is terrific.
ANGEL TOWN (1990, d. Eric Karson)
ReplyDeleteFirst-time watch on MVD BluRay, 8/10.
JCVD runner-up Olivier Gruner leaves France where he's used to banging blondes in the cemetery so he can attend grad school in L.A. Forced to live in gangland, Gruner tries to help Theresa Saldana, enlisting Peter Kwong & his dojo. This isn't amazing, but it was just what I didn't know I needed. L.A. gang violence, math & flashbacks to the French ghetto. Gruner had to deal with the same harsh discipline as Billy from SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT, thanks to Lilyan Chauvin; no wonder he's dangerous. Saldana could be her character from Flynn's DEFIANCE, 10yrs later. No wonder she married the Commish next year... The Imperial imprint gives ANGEL TOWN that vaguely foreign feeling that has nothing to do with Gruner's accent. The image has a slightly washed-out, sunny look that's perfect for summer.
Last of the Finest (1990, Dir. John Mackenzie) asks the age-old dramatic question: What if Brian Dennehy led his own A-Team style gang of LAPD officers against departmental corruption and a government-funded drug ring? Joe Pantoliano, Jeff Fahey and Bill Paxton do some of their best cop acting as members of Dennehy's squad, each with their own specialty and personality quirks. The film spends a lot of time on the inner life of each officer, how they barbecue, play football, vacation and camp together like one big extended family. Not every film can pull this level of lived-in relationship off, especially action films, but boy these guys chemistry is off the charts. Come for the action, stay for the bromance.
ReplyDeleteRing of Fire (1991) and Ring of Fire II: Blood and Steel (1993). Both these movie are directed by Richard Munchkin and star Don "The Dragon" Wilson and Maria Ford. I had heard Part 2 was super good, so I decided to watch the first one as well.
ReplyDeletePart 1 is super low budget, and about 2 rival teams of kickfighters. A girlfriend (Ford) from one team falls in love with a fighter from another team (The Dragon) who also is a full time doctor, and also works night shift as a waiter. Busy dude. The fighting honestly isn't the best, and whole swaths of the movie are spent on the romance which however is kind of sweet. There's a big climax that ends with the girl getting stabbed...and then the movie just ends.
Part 2, Blood and Steel, opens not long after the 1st one ends, and it opens with a bang. There a robbery that is foiled, with a shootout, and a big car chase with huge explosions, and the baddies kidnap the girl from the hospital. Then it takes a turn (I think blew their whole budget already), and the rest of the movie is spent travelling through some underground world (ie. cheap soundstages) fighting various baddies (like from The Warriors) on the way to save the girl. A discount Forest Whitaker helps our hero along until they finally come in and blast the baddies. But at the end they found it in the budget to return to the surface and film a huge explosion.
The 2nd one has a bigger score, bigger fights, more characters, bigger explosions, but think I liked the 1st one better, for the romantic sub-plot, as cheesy as the acting was. Just a better story, and was a little more enjoyable with the cheesiness. The 2nd felt repetitive as they fought one baddie after another, and M. Ford was barely in it (she was captured by the baddies the whole movie). All in all, a decent low budget fight franchise, but not really a recommend. There's a 3rd, but I'm not going to seek it out.
That should have been edited down to 2 short paragraphs :\
DeletePaul, you talking to me? 😉😁
DeleteUNDECLARED WAR (1990, d. Ringo Lam)
ReplyDeleteFirst-time watch on Vinegar Syndrome BluRay, 8/10.
Inspector Bong? I hardly knew her.
International "dissidents" Olivia Hussey & Vernon Wells get on the personal shitlist of GHOULIES' own Peter Liapis. Liapis' C.I.A. credentials don't make a partnership with Hong Kong cop Danny Lee very easy, but neither does all the terrorism. Great Hong Kong action flick with Rosamund Kwan & Mars along for the ride.
Perhaps UNDECLARED WAR would make a nice chaser for NIGHTHAWKS...
Godzilla (1998) dir. Roland Emmerich
ReplyDeleteI thought I had seen most of this on cable over the years but I didn't really remember much. What a slog. The only positive thing I will take away is Jean Reno's Elvis impression.
Face/Off (1997)
ReplyDeleteIt's Nic Cage as John Travolta playing Nic Cage versus John Travolta as Nic Cage playing John Travolta versus the universal laws of physics and just plain ol' common sense in this under-intelligent, over-the-top fiasco from John Woo. I loved Woo's Hong Kong action flicks, and he borrows liberally from them here, but there's something lost in translation that turns this into one laugh-riot of an action epic. The acting is ludicrous, the dialogue insipid, and there's an amazing number of bullets wasted as, like a fifth-grade basketball game, no one can seem to shoot straight. It all adds up to an epic of complete nonsense that, taken as a comedy, might be satisfying if one only ignore the treacly score and accept the squandered opportunity of the 140 minute runtime. And WTF is Joan Allen doing in this???
Point Break (1991 blu)
ReplyDeleteIn my personal ranking system, the highest praise i can give a movie usually comes down to "rewatchability". Welp this is one of my fav movies ever and i find it ENDLESSLY rewatchable. Its incredible. All i can say is...."4k WHEN!?!?!?!"
Demolition Man (1993)
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say, Stallone is great again, and again, and again. Very cheesy, very violent and very funny.
The world building in this is also great ! Listening to old radio ads like music, wiping with 3 seashells and now we know for sure that you really cant out-pizza the hut.
Another successful day for Junesploitation.
Speed (1994) first time...more entertaining than it has any right to be, thanks to Dennis Hopper... this is so 90s down to the opening music and Microsoft Word 3D text
ReplyDeleteRumble in the Bronx (1995)
ReplyDeleteIn this age of CGI-everything and endlessly powerful superheroes, it's nice to be reminded that the world has produced one super human: Jackie Chan. While the Hong Kong sensibilities of the storytelling are admittedly not for me, my god are the fight scenes flawless. There were times that I had to remind myself that I was actually watching Jackie Chan jump between 2 building, with out digital manipulation or even a safety harness. It's just hard to believe that we actually used to let people make movies this way.
I always loved that Jackie Chan showed the outtakes of the stunts in these movies to show how real everything was.
DeleteTHE BIG HIT (1998, d. Kirk Wong)
ReplyDeleteRewatch on Sony BluRay, still 6/10.
JOHN WICK 0 starring Dirk Diggler. I haven't seen this since its theatrical release. Every time this movie gets so silly that I can't stand it, something more entertaining happens & I'm smiling again. The soundtrack made me dizzy (especially since I listened to the CD too often back when) waiting for the good songs that seem only to be prominent during the end credits. Notably: "Don't Sleep" by Mark Wahlberg. I wish the video store biz was the A-story with the whole kidnapping & assassination plot slid back to B. Maybe an action-packed goof on AMERICAN PSYCHO. Oh well.
I'm still waiting for a Patrick and Adam episode on The Big Hit. It would be solid gold.
DeleteTHE TAKING OF BEVERLY HILLS
ReplyDelete(1991) dir. Sidney J. Furie
Ken Wahl’s mullet vs. Robert Davi’s singing!
Mister Body, Max Headroom, Ferris Bueller’s dad AND The Favor’s Harley Jane Kozak!
The world’s biggest bubble bath!
EMF’s Unbelievable!
Faith No More’s Epic!
If anything, Patrick and Adam undersold this. It’s bananas and everyone involved was 100% committed.
“It’s only halftime my friend. Only halftime.”
“You know, I really hate guys who don’t like football.”
One of these Junes I will get out my blu-ray of this for a watch.
DeleteOf all the regular Junesploitation categories, '90s action is the one that I learn the most from. Besides the early 1990s films, this is a big gap in my movie-watching. Though there are still films of the period that I still find difficult to warm up to, I have a much greater appreciation for them.
ReplyDeleteDRIVE (1997, dir. Steve Wang) – A modest action comedy starring Mark Dacascos that does not do anything new but entertains. Dacascos is a super-charged killer from Hong Kong fleeing to the United States, but his employers are hot on his trail. Kadeem Hardison is the reluctant sidekick who accompanies him on the journey. The action scenes are handled well and get bigger as the level of ridiculousness rises. It’s fine.
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ReplyDeleteThe Three Musketeers (1993) dir. Stephen Herek
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I have seen this since it's release in '93. Everything about it is so 90's. The charming good guys Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Oliver Platt and Chris O'Donnell, the devious villains Tim Curry, Michael Wincott and Rebecca De Mornay, with Gabrielle Anwar as the Queen and Julie Delpy as her hand maiden, who stands out for being the only cast member in this French classic with a French accent. On top of that throw in a theme song featuring Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting.
As you would expect it doesn't take itself too seriously and doesn't expect much from its audience than to go along for the ride and have fun with it.
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ReplyDeleteThe Stranger(1995 Dir, Fritz Kiersch)
ReplyDeleteFormer kickboxer champ and legit badass Kathy long is the Stranger. Andrew Divoff is the leader of the gang that runs a small desert town. When Divoff takes his best men out on a heist Long flies in and starts taking out all the bikers left in town like a wraith. But as she fight the bikers certain townsfolk fight her. Until it all comes to a boiling point when Divoff returns.
This movie just wasn't good. Despite all the actors dong their best , This mix of Yojimbo, The Wraith, The Crow and High Noon makes no sense. Characters seemed to be playing three different roles but wearing the same costumes. They change motivation and personalities from scene to scene.
In one scene Ginger Allen watches Long kill two bikers in her store, is so terrified she could barely hand Long a bag but follows Long into the bar and instantly starts "Don't be messing with my man" to Long. What was her man doing? Well her man the sheriff was questioning Long about the murders. Its insane.
I'd almost recommend it just on the wtf-ness of the whole thing if the action was good. But tis not. Its that kind of 90s low effort DTV Pose-Fu action that made the stuff made being made the same time in foreign markets so appealing. Plusses include a really young Danny Trejo, Vivoff who's playing half bodhisattva and half psycho and a surprise Gregg Henry. Long does her best but her skills are never put on display.
Corrupt (1999) Albert Pyun
ReplyDeleteThis one has the interesting feel of a live televised stage play. Ice T stars and provides an EP worth of original songs. That's where the similarities to Ricochet end ;-) Soundtrack also features a hot joint from co-star Romany Malco!(?)
THE PERFECT WEAPON (1991) - This is so rad and yeah I studied Kenpo because of it
ReplyDeleteIs Mariska Hargitay your spirit animal? :-P
Delete