What is this? I seems like a bare bones concept that didn't go beyond a funny poster and tagline, but it somehow ended up with the running time of Lawrence of Arabia.
It's a fucking abomination. It's like staring into the abyss and having the abyss stare back at you. JB wrote about it a few years ago, but mere words aren't enough to describe Dickshark.
Bishal Dutta's IT LIVES INSIDE (2023, THEATER) for the first time.
ReplyDelete"Dick" reaches 'first base.' Gets swung... hard!
OR
Outstanding, emotional, cathartic ending. Unusual for PG-13.
Halloween (1978) A Debra Hill Production
ReplyDeleteAfter Lynda, all downhill for Bob anyway.
Dario Argento's OPERA (1987, DVD).
ReplyDeleteKnock! Knock!
BANG!
"She's dead!!!"
The end.
THE MAN WHO LAUGHS (1928)
ReplyDeleteIs this the first horror movie carnival?
Stuart Gordon's DOLLS (1987, AMAZON PRIME).
ReplyDeleteIf "M3GAN" and "Annabelle" smoked crack together.
The Raven(1935 Dir. Louis Friedlander aka Lew Landers)
ReplyDeleteGuests unimpressed by Bela's sweet Poe collection
Tom Atkins and Jamie Lee Curtis in John Carpenter's THE FOG (1980, AMAZON PRIME).
ReplyDeleteAtkins' carpet-stache matches Curtis' drapes. HITCHHIKING RULEZ!!!
Jacob's Ladder, Adrian Lyne 1990
ReplyDelete(in a Stefon accent)
Hallucination's has everything, angels, demons, lizard erections.
Sleepy Hollow Tim Burton 1999
ReplyDeleteRIP Michael Gambon, you are a legend
The Cottage (2008, Dir. Paul Andrew Williams)
ReplyDeleteBrit splat oddity turns into a Serkis.
Evilspeak (1981)
ReplyDeleteThis happened to my buddy John Wick.
Birth/Rebirth 2023
ReplyDeleteDead is better? Jud never met Muriel.
Saw X
ReplyDeleteBest 10th instalment not set in space
Cobweb (2023)
ReplyDeleteIs this is how my sister homeschools?
The Raven (1963)
ReplyDeletePrice helps Lorre, Karloff chew scenery. Yum!
Dracula, dir Tod Browning, 1931
ReplyDeleteYes, Dracula calls his biggest possum bitey
Cocaine Bear (2023)
ReplyDeleteOk forest friends: time for Yogi intervention.
Vampyr (1932, dir. Carl Theodor Dreyer)
ReplyDeleteThe ancestor to Buffy der Vampyr Mörderin.
Anatomie (2000 Dir. Stefan Ruzowitzky)
ReplyDeleteLess medically accurate than The Human Centipede
Christine (1983)
ReplyDeleteWhat I imagine Tesla drivers are like
Stir of Echoes (1999)
ReplyDeleteThe family's like Metro f*cked Kuma's Corner
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ReplyDeletePsycho (1998)
ReplyDeletePatrick made me a believer in rePsychoing.
Dracula's Daughter (1936)
ReplyDeleteOnly have one hour free? Universal Monsters!
The Great Yokai War (2005)
ReplyDeleteTakashi Miike makes a children's monster movie!
Frankenstein | 1931 | James Whale
ReplyDeleteAccept No Substitutes,
Choose Normal Brand™️ Brains!
Grow Up, Tony Phillips (2013) dir. Emily Hagins
ReplyDeleteCouldn’t Tony have tricked, treated AND partied?
April Fool’s Day (1986)
ReplyDeletePlease god, let it be ding-dongs.
The Mummy (1932)
ReplyDeleteNothing says Ancient Egypt like "Swan Lake."
Casper (1995) - Touching haunt, could'a used more Mel Gibson
ReplyDeleteDickshark (2016, dir. Bill Zebub)
ReplyDeleteIt's waaaaayyy too long.
So's the movie.
What is this? I seems like a bare bones concept that didn't go beyond a funny poster and tagline, but it somehow ended up with the running time of Lawrence of Arabia.
DeleteIt's a fucking abomination. It's like staring into the abyss and having the abyss stare back at you. JB wrote about it a few years ago, but mere words aren't enough to describe Dickshark.
DeleteAnd it’s coming out on special edition Blu-Ray on October 10!
DeleteAh, I even commented on that review. "Very funny" (referring to the review, not the movie).
DeleteDolls (1987)
ReplyDeleteFantastic! Let dolls have all the crack.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
ReplyDeleteOppenheimer Part 2: The Hills Have Eyes
The Bride of Frankenstein | 1935 | James Whale
ReplyDeleteA Hiss. No Kiss. Averted Wedded Bliss.
Dracula (1979) Theatrical cut
ReplyDeleteGreat Dracula, but a weak Van Helsing.
It Follows (2014)
ReplyDeleteGreat. Now I'm afraid of people walking.
Saw II (2005, dir. Darren Lynn Bousman)
ReplyDeleteDetective Matthews didn't have right stuff, baby.
House of Darkness (2022) Dir: Neil LaBute
ReplyDeleteLong's HoD/Barbarian characters deserve a good walrusing.
TALK TO ME (2023)
ReplyDeleteTalk to the hand... sorry, couldn't resist.
FAUST (1994):
ReplyDeleteThe only Faust with puppet sex, guaranteed.
THE PIT (1981)
ReplyDeleteYankovic: "PIT me with your best shot!"
The Lost Boys (1987)
ReplyDeleteRichard Gilmore leads a team of hooligans.
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteDracula: "Fuck! Everybody just has mirrors now?!"
Saw (2004)
ReplyDeleteSome Ajax will cut through that problem.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Gallows (2015)
ReplyDeleteTheater is way more dangerous than football.
Mausoleum (1983)
ReplyDeleteHer green eyes make my head explode.
The Pit (1981)
ReplyDeletePit with monkeys or Pitt's 12 Monkeys?
Ghostkeeper(1981 Dir. Jim Matichuk)
ReplyDeleteWendigo? When to stay? The eternal debate
BOOK OF SHADOWS: BLAIR WITCH 2 (2000):
ReplyDeleteWell, we’re off to a bad start!
Dracula (1979) Director's cut
ReplyDeleteDesaturation terrible substitute for Black & White.
THE VAMPIRE LOVERS (1970)
ReplyDeleteFine, just throw me onto the Pitt.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
ReplyDeleteStart watching this and you’ll be “hooked.”
The Invisible Man Returns (1940)
ReplyDeleteThat kid Vincent Price is going places!
Saw II (2005)
ReplyDeleteDetective Matthews, you've got the right scruff!
🤣
DeletePHANTOM SHIP (1935)
ReplyDeleteBela Lugosi as Popeye is interesting casting.
PET SEMATARY: BLOODLINES (2023):
ReplyDeleteIt will absorb eighty-seven of your minutes.
May (2002)
ReplyDeleteIn 2023, Soozy gets three spinoff movies.
BTW Patrick I'm digging the new F THIS MOVIE font. It's a Fun House to be at during SMM.
ReplyDeleteDoug deserves all the credit!
DeleteGINGER SNAPS 2: UNLEASHED 2007
ReplyDelete(Dir. Brett Sullivan)
Lady's fap yoga gave Brigitte man hands!
Dead Heat (1988)
ReplyDeleteI'm in love with Lucas Giolito's mom
Saw II (2005)
ReplyDeleteInteresting, took this out of the basement.
Saw III (2006)
ReplyDeleteI demand we get justice for Dizzy!
Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
ReplyDeleteAs usual, a great start for SMM.
Scream For Help (1984)
ReplyDeleteFirst time watch. Sleazier than I expected!
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ReplyDeleteTWINS OF EVIL (1971)
ReplyDeleteThese puritans are perhaps not so puritanical.
Talk to Me (2023)
ReplyDeleteThese damn kids and their hand stuff.
Saw IV (2007)
ReplyDeleteThink I'm done answering the call backs.
-Insidious (2010)
ReplyDeleteMy astral projection wears a toddler leash.
-Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
ReplyDeleteTom Atkins saves world...after this drink.
-The Thing from Another World (1951)
ReplyDeleteSuper carrot from space? What a scoop!
-Trick 'R Treat (2007)
ReplyDeleteCurrently Zillowing homes in Warren Valley, Ohio.
-Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
ReplyDeleteDo all apocryphal scriptures have topless parties?
-The Devil's Advocate (1997)
ReplyDeleteLawyers doing lawyer stuff. Nothing strange here.
-John Carpenter's In the Mouth of Madness (1994)
ReplyDeleteSuspending disbelief watching adults actually reading books.
Alien (1979)
ReplyDeleteAssured girlfriend of Jonesy’s survival several times.
Halloween H20 (1998 Dir Steve Miner)
ReplyDeleteBest Halloween movie ever!!!*
*Featuring Adam Arkin
The Exorcist (1973)
ReplyDeleteParenting tip: 12 is a tough age.
Bug (1975 Dir Jeannot Szwarc)
ReplyDeleteNancy Regan was right about burning roaches?
Frankenstein (1931)
ReplyDelete"Maybe it'll smell better after the lightning?"
Friday the 13th (2009)
ReplyDeleteWhat did Christmas ever do to you?
M3GAN (2022)
ReplyDelete“Trust me, kids love Austin Powers’ outfits!”
Castle Freak (1995)
ReplyDeleteBreastfeeding doesn't mean you bite the titty
The Exorcist (1973)
ReplyDeleteThe power of Christ compels… Fathom Events!
Swamp Thing (1982)
ReplyDeleteCuts? Dissolves? No, Wes cravin more wipes
Green Room (2015)
ReplyDeleteMaeby, you shouldn't piss off the Nazis
No One Will Save You (2023, Dir. Brian Duffield)
ReplyDeleteKaitlyn Dever vs. aliens and her guilt.
CAPTAIN KRONOS, VAMPIRE HUNTER
ReplyDeleteLow budget, low box office...high fun!!