I just couldn't stop writing 7-word reviews while watching The Lost Boys (1987) tonight, so here's a bunch of them:
-The Lost Boys (1987) 1. Why pretend heterosexuality exists in this movie? 2. Dianne Wiest is the world's divorced mother. 3. Someone had to storyboard the sax player. 4. Michael wants to know who's on first. 5. Whiny Jason Patric's at the window again... 6. Might be the Ulysses of song lyrics. 7. Tears of joy during beach bro massacre. 8. Do all vampires dress like J.F. Sebastian toys?
The Lords of Salem (2012 Dir Rob Zombie)
ReplyDeleteHow cute. It has his father's tentacles.
or
Almost perfect. Lack of Walgreens hurts film.
Sweeden's EVIL ED: SPECIAL ED-ITION (1995, ARROW BLU-RAY) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteCaptures our FTM SMM month-long odyssey perfectly,
OR
If Ingmar Bergman directed a Troma movie.
The Nun II (2023, Dir. Michael Chaves)
ReplyDeleteThe Bummed Nun That Dumbed, Part Deux
THE DEVILS (1971)
ReplyDeleteEvery bit of the hype is true.
The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
ReplyDelete"Do NOT read the Latin!" killed me.
WE HAVE A GHOST (2023)
ReplyDeleteGlad this ghost harbors no ill will.
The Haunting (1963 - Robert Wise)
ReplyDeleteSecret mission: Miss Moneypenny cut break cord.
Scream IV ( 2023 dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin, Tyler Gillett)
ReplyDeleteBetter movie if more Weaving less Mulroney.
The Nun II (2023)
ReplyDeleteFarmiga back in the habit equals snoozeville!
or w/ a shoutout to Mantzoukas
Please give me "The Nune Three: Nundercover"
THE UNTAMED (2016)
ReplyDeleteNinety-five percent family drama, five percent tentacles.
The Others (2001)
ReplyDeleteLight allergy is a perfectly cromulent disease
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
ReplyDeleteSilver Shamrock bought rights to show Halloween
House at the End of the Street (2012, dir. Mark Tonderai)
ReplyDeleteStupidity at the End of the Movie
V/H/S85 (2023 Shudder)
ReplyDeleteMake It A Blockbuster Night! (and die)
The Exorcist: Believer (2023)
ReplyDeleteTwo spinning heads are better than one.
Van Helsing (2004)
ReplyDeleteDracula was always my favorite Bono persona.
The Funhouse
ReplyDeleteStep right up. Horny Frankenstein awaits you.
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ReplyDeleteV/H/S/85
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for V/H/S insert year.
Vamp (Dir. Richard Wenk 1986)
ReplyDeletePatrons are really into interpretive strip acts.
House (1986)
ReplyDeleteWait... Norm in House?... Not Bar?... What?
V/H/S/85 (2023)
ReplyDeleteNothing scarier than virtual reality community theater
Asylum (1972, dir. Roy Ward Baker)
ReplyDeleteMagee, Cushing, Rampling, Ekland, Lom... Murderer's row.
The Burning (1981)
ReplyDeleteThe real horror's in the opening credits
Eloise (2016)
ReplyDeleteEliza Dushku
Breaks into sepia-toned
Insane asylum
Beautiful
DeleteKiller Clowns From Outer Space (1988)
ReplyDeleteSo the answer on clowns, always scary!
Clown (2014)
ReplyDeleteActually this clown seems a cool hang
Funny Games (1997)
ReplyDeleteNot really anything funny in this movie.
Terrifier 2 (2022)
ReplyDeleteBeating child with chain new clowning staple
Cobweb (2023) If walls could talk they'd say "Cinnamon"
ReplyDeleteTHE BLOOD-SPLATTERED BRIDE (1972)
ReplyDeleteDirector to wardrobe department: “Make everything brown.”
Ghostbusters (1984)
ReplyDeleteHey! Go check on that little guy!
EXORCIST 2: THE HERETIC (1977):
ReplyDelete“It was horrible. Utterly horrible. And fascinating.”
Resident Evil (2002)
ReplyDeleteRoundhouse kick, dog, face... that is all
I just couldn't stop writing 7-word reviews while watching The Lost Boys (1987) tonight, so here's a bunch of them:
ReplyDelete-The Lost Boys (1987)
1. Why pretend heterosexuality exists in this movie?
2. Dianne Wiest is the world's divorced mother.
3. Someone had to storyboard the sax player.
4. Michael wants to know who's on first.
5. Whiny Jason Patric's at the window again...
6. Might be the Ulysses of song lyrics.
7. Tears of joy during beach bro massacre.
8. Do all vampires dress like J.F. Sebastian toys?
Curious to know which (if any) you all like.
I like 4
DeleteThe Boogeyman (2023)
ReplyDeleteDir: Rob Savage
That’s one way to opening a movie.
The Omen (2006)
ReplyDeleteThis kid's defective, can I return it?
Saw X (2023, dir. Kevin Greutert)
ReplyDeleteGreutert's SAW batting average back above .500
Misery (1990, dir. Rob Reiner)
ReplyDeletePaul Sheldon needs to be stopped. #ReleaseTheWilkesCut
Carnival of Souls (1962)
ReplyDeleteI wish Herk Harvey made more movies
THE CREEPING FLESH (1973)
ReplyDeleteRegrown finger looks like a… different appendage.
GHOSTHOUSE (1988, Dir. Umberto Lenzi)
ReplyDeletePreppie ham operators is most fantastical element.
Men (2022)
ReplyDeleteBad boy bussy be birthin bad boys
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeleteThere are no genitals in this film
The Nun 2 (2023
ReplyDeleteBoy... He's got that Nun in em.
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ReplyDeleteOculus (2013 dir. Mike Flanagan)
ReplyDeleteExpensive Mirror complicates a room's Feng Shui.
Halloween (1978 Dir John Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteWatched yearly, loved dearly. Its a classic.
🙌🙌
DeleteANOTHER WOLFCOP (2016, Dir. Lowell Dean)
ReplyDeleteProbably followed by "Look Who's Wolfing Too"
Frenzy (1972) dir. Alfred Hitchcock
ReplyDeletePerverse. Disturbing. Harrowing… Laugh out loud funny.
Halloween (1978)
ReplyDeleteSeven word recreation of famous musical theme…
Review count for day 10: 50
ReplyDeleteReview total after day 10: 666