The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (1972, dir. Emilio Miraglia)
I, too, would kill to inherit castle
Also, sidenote, it's freaking annoying that Tubi won't let me watch the credits. It has a little 15 second timer before it autoplays something else, but there's no way to disable it or pause them timer once it's started. I want to watch the credits goddammit.
Bruce Willis in THE SIXTH SENSE (1999, BLU-RAY).
ReplyDeleteDislike action-oriented, tonally-different sequels "Red," "Red 2."
Ginger Snaps, dir John Fawcett, 2000
ReplyDeleteThis Movie's right. PMS is a bitch
"Wrists are for girls. I'm slitting my throat."
DeleteLamberto Bava's DEMONS (1985, 4K SYNAPSE UHD).
ReplyDelete"Resident Evil"-like before "Resident Evil" videogames existed.
OR
Why would blind man attend theatrical screening?
Abby, dir William Girdler, 1974
ReplyDeleteThe power of William Marshall compels me
Lamberto Bava's DEMONS 2 (1986, 4K SYNAPSE UHD).
ReplyDeleteDemonic boob tube ruins Sally's birthday party.
OR
Supernatural "Die Hard" meets "Gremlins," Italian style.
DeepStar Six (1989, Dir. Sean S. Cunningham)
ReplyDeleteMiguel Ferrer really blew up in this.
DEADLY FRIEND (1986)
ReplyDeleteRobo-Swanson has a future in the WNBA.
SISTERS (1972)
ReplyDeleteWait until you meet their brother, Belial.
The Black Phone (2021, dir. Scott Derrickson)
ReplyDeleteKing's apple didn't fall far from tree.
SAW (2004 blu)
ReplyDeleteNew choice for Batman Riddler? Fu@ked Up.
The Cellar (2022)
ReplyDeleteKim Bauer fights demon not a cougar .
Mail Order Murder: The Story Of W.A.V.E. Productions
ReplyDeleteI'd like a trog gangbang film, please
Boy Eats Girl (2005, dir. Stephen Bradley)
ReplyDeleteThis comedy takes itself way too seriously.
No One Will Save You (2023 Directed by Brian Duffield)
ReplyDeleteHome Alone, Signs, Predator make quiet baby
Brahms: The Boy II (2020)
ReplyDeleteShocked this doesn't respect "The Boy" canon.
X: The Man with X-ray Eyes(1963 dir. Roger Corman)
ReplyDeleteNever take medical advice from the bible
The Creature Walks Among Us (1956, dir. John Sherwood)
ReplyDeleteThe Creature Wears a Sweater Among Us.
Saw IV (2007, dir. Darren Lynn Bousman)
ReplyDeleteDonnie on the rocks! Couple kebab! LUKE!
Saw II (2005)
ReplyDeleteChat with grampy or death? Choose death.
Black Sabbath (1963)
ReplyDeleteJust a late-night stroll with grampa Boris.
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ReplyDelete"Maxs All Warners Video. Wasted Kelly speaking"
DeleteNo One Will Save You (2023)
ReplyDeleteNo one will say any words either.
Insidious: The Red Door (2023, dir. Patrick Wilson)
ReplyDeleteCan a new movie already be underrated?
(Reposting this on the right day. Sorry.)
ReplyDeleteChopping Mall
Robots: Bad security personnel, great head exploders
Orphan (2009)
ReplyDeleteChildren should totally have a return policy
I Am Not a Serial Killer (2016)
ReplyDeleteNo, but you're seriously trending that way
This was a good one!
DeleteGothika (2003)
ReplyDeleteBack when bad cell reception summoned ghosts
The Vigil (2019)
ReplyDeleteNothing creepy ever happens near dead bodies
COCAINE BEAR (2023)
ReplyDeleteSo that's what's in Yogi's picky-nick basket.
Satanic Panic (2019) Chelsea Stardust
ReplyDeleteKillDo. Lady balls. Fuzzy bunnies. Hell yeah!
Pearl (2022)
ReplyDeleteA scarecrow gets more action than me
You’re Next (2011)
ReplyDeleteCome for Crampton, stay for eyeball violence.
Evil Dead Rise (2023)
ReplyDeleteKinda blends in with MAX's reality lineup.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
ReplyDeleteFood for thought ≠ thought for food guys!
THE RATS (2002)
ReplyDeleteGreat, rodent stink combined with chlorine stink.
The Pit (1981, dir. Lew Lehman) (with F This Movie commentary)
ReplyDeleteMany Wisconsinites struggle daily with pit blindness.
The Video Dead (1987 Dir. Robert Scott)
ReplyDeleteSometimes left on the shelf is better.
Halloween H20 (1998 Dir. Steve Miner)
ReplyDeleteor Michael Myers the Dawson's Creek years
THE BROOD (1979)
ReplyDeleteRunning a daycare sure has its complications.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
ReplyDeleteConnie Britton! It can't be that bad
-The Conjuring (2013)
ReplyDeleteI didn't fart. Must be a demon.
-The Innkeepers (2011)
ReplyDeleteThat search history raises so many questions.
The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (1972, dir. Emilio Miraglia)
ReplyDeleteI, too, would kill to inherit castle
Also, sidenote, it's freaking annoying that Tubi won't let me watch the credits. It has a little 15 second timer before it autoplays something else, but there's no way to disable it or pause them timer once it's started. I want to watch the credits goddammit.
I love Tubi though. Tubi is great. Just a little peeve that annoys me at the end of every single movie I watch there.
DeleteLUST FOR A VAMPIRE (1971)
ReplyDeletePretty girls are out to get you.
Lake Nowhere (2014) revisit; Blu Ray
ReplyDeleteOne of few "throwback films" done right.
Intruders (2015) revisit; DVD
ReplyDeleteNot as good as before, still good.
THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS (1991)
ReplyDeleteLike the "Sickos" meme in movie form.
SILENT HILL (2006):
ReplyDeleteYou'll never guess what else is pyramid-shaped.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)
ReplyDeleteBad Dreams for Boyz N The Hospital
Blair Witch (2016)
ReplyDeletePeter? Peter! James?! Heather?! Heather!!? James?!? Heather!??
Phantasm (1979)
ReplyDeleteExtended Version with bonus scene from Dune!
Zombieland (2009, dir. Ruben Fleischer)
ReplyDeleteLess time to terrorize set with cameo.
The Last Man on Earth (1964)
ReplyDeleteCan't tell if these vampires or zombies
Becky (2020)
ReplyDeleteShe's exceptionally bad at wiping her face
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
ReplyDeleteAnd here you thought Max loved yabos
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ReplyDeleteNo One Will Save You (2023)
ReplyDeleteI have no words for this movie.
Talk to Me (2023)
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I prefer texting.
The Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
ReplyDeleteAnswers the eternal question: Is Merrin HORNY?!?
Cronos (1993) - Ron Pearlman reluctantly hunts scarab wielding vampire
ReplyDeleteMARY MARY BLOODY MARY (1975)
ReplyDeleteStarring John Carradine… for about ten seconds.
Creepshow (1982)
ReplyDeleteEvery garden party is better with Billy.
Tales from the Hood (1995)
ReplyDeleteMy favorite horror anthology. All perfect segments.
Starting the month off strong (and 1 day late) with Slotherhouse (2023)
ReplyDeleteSecret Life of Pets meets Michael Myers.
Battle Royale (2000)
ReplyDelete“DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?” “NO?”
Piranha (1978)
ReplyDeleteWhen Blockbuster is all out of Jaws.
Cemetery of Terror (1985, Dir. Rubén Galindo Jr.)
ReplyDeleteStiglitz's signing bonus: unlimited cop car rides.
Also
Cameos: Zap(p)a boat and Michael Jackson Jacket!
The Mummy (1932)
ReplyDeleteI didn't dig it. I'm wrong, right?
Spirit Halloween (2023)
ReplyDeleteThat is one cavernous repurposed abandoned KMART
Witchery (1988, Dir. Fabrizio Laurenti)
ReplyDeleteFelt like 7 different metal music videos
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePsycho (1960, Dir. Alfred Hitchcock)
DeleteMamma"me"a! Mamma"me"a! Mamma"me"a! Stuff a Crow!
Land of the Dead(2005 Dir George Romero)
ReplyDeleteCould be worse. They could ride horses
The Final Girls(2015 Dir. Todd Strauss-Schulson )
ReplyDeleteSheesh! Is someone cutting onions in here?
Ghost Story (1981, Dir. John Irvin)
ReplyDeleteLikely my only Fred Astaire horror film.
Sorry About the Demon (2022) dir. Emily Hagins
ReplyDeleteCute, quirky, family-friendly, haunted house comedy.