[You know Scary Movie Month's coming to an end when the under-60 min. and/or arthouse pornography titles start rising. :-P]J.C. Crickett's SEX DEMON (1975, NYC's IFC CENTER) for the first time. Part of IFC's 'Red Eye' series. NSFW TRAILER.Unlike "Exorcist," wears 'X' rating unapologetically proud.OR'Power of Christ compels fisting, rim jobs!'ORMakes Friedkin's "Cruising" look like "Hello Kitty."
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)She was fast, but he was Furious!
THE VELOCIPASTOR (2018, FREEVEE) for the first time.Half "hungry" clergyman, half dinosaur, all ham.ORNo joke, Alyssa Kempinski's hooker-with-heart-of-gold genuinely compelling.ORDope-selling Christian ninjas? Shit just got real!
Ethan Hawke in Scott Derrickson's SINISTER (2012, BLU-RAY).--'Get outta the house!!!'--Eh, actually, don't.ORWorks as "Black Telephone's" sort-of spiritual prequel.
Cat People (1942)Psychiatrist profession is deadly when pawing clients.
Sharksploitation (2023)Some of those sharks were really sharksploited
Tales From The Hood (1995)Babysitter for hire, I'm graffiti - Michael MasseeOrDavid Allen Grier is scary as hellOrDoes Wings know he's in a movie?OrI must've missed this disneyworld spinny rideOrClarence Williams 3? Who was the first?!
Suitable Flesh (2023, Dir. Joe Lynch)Lynch/Graham/Crampton honouring horror's horny history.
The Fall of the House of Usher (2023 - Mike Flanagan, Michael Fimognari)Yeah, yeah! Okay, okay! Usher, Usher, Usher.OR"Acid drop! You get it?" Flanagan, probably.
The Terrifier 2 (2022)No mother of the year. So sweary
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Puppetman (2023)There wasn’t even a mention of Toulon.
The Beast Must Die, Paul Annett, 1974Eeny, meeny, miny, moe .... shit a Werewolf
The Exorcist, William Friedkin , 1973Let's be honest, Burke had it coming
The Black Room (1935, dir. Roy William Neill)Two Boris Karloffs are better than one.
Five Nights At Freddy's (2023)I think I'd rather file for unemployment.
Fear Street Part 2 1978(2021)"Color Wars" seems rather tonedeaf for 1978
Skeleton Crew (2009, dir. Tero Molin & Tommi Lepola)Positives: one good song on the soundtrack.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)Every kindergarten has a sex dungeon, right?
Night of the Hunted (2023)Lots of dialog, very little actually said
End of Days (1999){needle drop} "Byrne, Baby, Byrne. Disco Inferno"
When Evil Lurks (2023)Highlight of the month, but huge downer
THE MONSTER OF THE OPERA (1964) Plot? None. Overly artsy dance numbers? Lots.
BloodRayne (2005, dir. Uwe Boll)My first Uwe Boll movie. And last.
Body Bags (1993)Skeevy Craven! Hilarious hair affair! Skywalker's butt!
The Dark and the Wicked (2020)There's no such thing as dying peacefully
The Final Terror (1983)Definitive proof Joey Pants was born balding
Them! (1954)Great! Giant ants! Thanks a lot, Oppenheimer!
cackling
The Howling (1981, dir. Joe Dante)I wanna hang out at Dick's bookstore.
House (1985)Richard Moll, may you rest in piece.
PHONE BHOOT (2022) What’s the business model for freelance exorcists?
I, Madman (1989)I miss when movies like this existed.
Society (1981, dir. Brian Yuzna)Movie is kind of strange then WHAT!!!
Interview with the Vampire (1994)Angry vampire and depressed vampire shouldn't adopt.
The Final Girls (2015) dir. Todd Strauss-SchulsonAdam Devine could not die fast enough.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)That security guard knew an awful lot.
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)J.P. isn't kinky enough for the cube...
When Evil Lurks (2023)Demonic possession. Fun for the whole family!
FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S (2023, Dir. Emma Tammi)Breaded Lillard in his natural environment... horror! Woman's ice cream order, most terrifying thing!
Child’s Play 3 (1991) dir. Jack BenderPairs well with Taps and The Funhouse.Or Lucky for Chucky just a close shave.
Orphan (2009)Batshit pulp, mainstream disguised... kinda like Esther!
-John Carpenter's Christine (1983) Never EVER stab another man's yogurt bag.
THE TERROR (1963) Coppola gets producer credit, but Corman’s driving.
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)One of the worst movie titles ever?
Orphan: First Kill (2022)Bonkers fun, owes "The Imposter" story credit.
Blue Sunshine (1978)Bald is the most attractive 78 hairstyle.
Pet Sematary Two (1992)Jack Torrance would question Gus's parenting style.
-Near Dark (1987)The night's great, but so are showers.
JOHN CARPENTER’S VAMPIRES (1998) Would the church really hire these guys?
Triangle (2009 Dir. Christopher Smith)Expected Bermuda Triangle got Trauma Triangle instead..
Oculus (2013)Mean mirror murders mutts, mums and moms
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)Wait... but what about inside the cupcake?
-It Follows (2014)Friend-zoned tortoise beats shlubby neighbor hare.
In the Mouth of Madness (1995)Man with every accent takes a drive.
Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023) dir. Emma TammiThose fried green tomatoes will kill ya.
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) dir. Eli CraigGot eye-rolling teenagers to shutdown iPhones.
Review count for day 28: 55Review total after day 28: 1566
EraserHead (1977): Didn't know what confusion was until now.
[You know Scary Movie Month's coming to an end when the under-60 min. and/or arthouse pornography titles start rising. :-P]
ReplyDeleteJ.C. Crickett's SEX DEMON (1975, NYC's IFC CENTER) for the first time. Part of IFC's 'Red Eye' series. NSFW TRAILER.
Unlike "Exorcist," wears 'X' rating unapologetically proud.
OR
'Power of Christ compels fisting, rim jobs!'
OR
Makes Friedkin's "Cruising" look like "Hello Kitty."
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
ReplyDeleteShe was fast, but he was Furious!
THE VELOCIPASTOR (2018, FREEVEE) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteHalf "hungry" clergyman, half dinosaur, all ham.
OR
No joke, Alyssa Kempinski's hooker-with-heart-of-gold genuinely compelling.
OR
Dope-selling Christian ninjas? Shit just got real!
Ethan Hawke in Scott Derrickson's SINISTER (2012, BLU-RAY).
ReplyDelete--'Get outta the house!!!'
--Eh, actually, don't.
OR
Works as "Black Telephone's" sort-of spiritual prequel.
Cat People (1942)
ReplyDeletePsychiatrist profession is deadly when pawing clients.
Sharksploitation (2023)
ReplyDeleteSome of those sharks were really sharksploited
Tales From The Hood (1995)
ReplyDeleteBabysitter for hire, I'm graffiti - Michael Massee
Or
David Allen Grier is scary as hell
Or
Does Wings know he's in a movie?
Or
I must've missed this disneyworld spinny ride
Or
Clarence Williams 3? Who was the first?!
Suitable Flesh (2023, Dir. Joe Lynch)
ReplyDeleteLynch/Graham/Crampton honouring horror's horny history.
The Fall of the House of Usher (2023 - Mike Flanagan, Michael Fimognari)
ReplyDeleteYeah, yeah! Okay, okay! Usher, Usher, Usher.
OR
"Acid drop! You get it?" Flanagan, probably.
The Terrifier 2 (2022)
ReplyDeleteNo mother of the year. So sweary
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Puppetman (2023)
ReplyDeleteThere wasn’t even a mention of Toulon.
The Beast Must Die, Paul Annett, 1974
ReplyDeleteEeny, meeny, miny, moe .... shit a Werewolf
The Exorcist, William Friedkin , 1973
ReplyDeleteLet's be honest, Burke had it coming
The Black Room (1935, dir. Roy William Neill)
ReplyDeleteTwo Boris Karloffs are better than one.
Five Nights At Freddy's (2023)
ReplyDeleteI think I'd rather file for unemployment.
Fear Street Part 2 1978(2021)
ReplyDelete"Color Wars" seems rather tonedeaf for 1978
Skeleton Crew (2009, dir. Tero Molin & Tommi Lepola)
ReplyDeletePositives: one good song on the soundtrack.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
ReplyDeleteEvery kindergarten has a sex dungeon, right?
Night of the Hunted (2023)
ReplyDeleteLots of dialog, very little actually said
End of Days (1999)
ReplyDelete{needle drop} "Byrne, Baby, Byrne. Disco Inferno"
When Evil Lurks (2023)
ReplyDeleteHighlight of the month, but huge downer
THE MONSTER OF THE OPERA (1964)
ReplyDeletePlot? None. Overly artsy dance numbers? Lots.
BloodRayne (2005, dir. Uwe Boll)
ReplyDeleteMy first Uwe Boll movie. And last.
Body Bags (1993)
ReplyDeleteSkeevy Craven! Hilarious hair affair! Skywalker's butt!
The Dark and the Wicked (2020)
ReplyDeleteThere's no such thing as dying peacefully
The Final Terror (1983)
ReplyDeleteDefinitive proof Joey Pants was born balding
Them! (1954)
ReplyDeleteGreat! Giant ants! Thanks a lot, Oppenheimer!
cackling
DeleteThe Howling (1981, dir. Joe Dante)
ReplyDeleteI wanna hang out at Dick's bookstore.
House (1985)
ReplyDeleteRichard Moll, may you rest in piece.
PHONE BHOOT (2022)
ReplyDeleteWhat’s the business model for freelance exorcists?
I, Madman (1989)
ReplyDeleteI miss when movies like this existed.
Society (1981, dir. Brian Yuzna)
ReplyDeleteMovie is kind of strange then WHAT!!!
Interview with the Vampire (1994)
ReplyDeleteAngry vampire and depressed vampire shouldn't adopt.
The Final Girls (2015) dir. Todd Strauss-Schulson
ReplyDeleteAdam Devine could not die fast enough.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
ReplyDeleteThat security guard knew an awful lot.
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)
ReplyDeleteJ.P. isn't kinky enough for the cube...
When Evil Lurks (2023)
ReplyDeleteDemonic possession. Fun for the whole family!
FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S (2023, Dir. Emma Tammi)
ReplyDeleteBreaded Lillard in his natural environment... horror!
Woman's ice cream order, most terrifying thing!
Child’s Play 3 (1991) dir. Jack Bender
ReplyDeletePairs well with Taps and The Funhouse.
Or
Lucky for Chucky just a close shave.
Orphan (2009)
ReplyDeleteBatshit pulp, mainstream disguised... kinda like Esther!
-John Carpenter's Christine (1983)
ReplyDeleteNever EVER stab another man's yogurt bag.
ReplyDeleteTHE TERROR (1963)
Coppola gets producer credit, but Corman’s driving.
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
ReplyDeleteOne of the worst movie titles ever?
Orphan: First Kill (2022)
ReplyDeleteBonkers fun, owes "The Imposter" story credit.
Blue Sunshine (1978)
ReplyDeleteBald is the most attractive 78 hairstyle.
Pet Sematary Two (1992)
ReplyDeleteJack Torrance would question Gus's parenting style.
-Near Dark (1987)
ReplyDeleteThe night's great, but so are showers.
JOHN CARPENTER’S VAMPIRES (1998)
ReplyDeleteWould the church really hire these guys?
Triangle (2009 Dir. Christopher Smith)
ReplyDeleteExpected Bermuda Triangle got Trauma Triangle instead..
Oculus (2013)
ReplyDeleteMean mirror murders mutts, mums and moms
Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
ReplyDeleteWait... but what about inside the cupcake?
-It Follows (2014)
ReplyDeleteFriend-zoned tortoise beats shlubby neighbor hare.
In the Mouth of Madness (1995)
ReplyDeleteMan with every accent takes a drive.
Five Nights at Freddy’s (2023) dir. Emma Tammi
ReplyDeleteThose fried green tomatoes will kill ya.
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) dir. Eli Craig
ReplyDeleteGot eye-rolling teenagers to shutdown iPhones.
Review count for day 28: 55
ReplyDeleteReview total after day 28: 1566
EraserHead (1977): Didn't know what confusion was until now.
ReplyDelete