My Stepmother is an Alien
• Why does Michael Medved say Kim Basinger will make you forget E.T.? It’s like we’re also to assume he lusted for E.T. for six years until My Stepmother is an Alien bailed him out. If I asked Michael Medved about E.T. in 2023 (which I plan on doing), would he not know what it is because Kim Basinger made him forget about it?
• Tri-Star Pictures is trying to convince everyone that the movie is 1/6 about Daryl Hannah being the highest jumping Magnolia, 1/6 about Sally Field lifting her skirt like Marilyn Monroe, and 1/6 about Shirley MacLaine as a tree.
Look Who’s Talking Too!
• ‘Tis the season to be laughing’ is incredible. It’s so lame that it circles back around and became amazing again. It sounds like something I would say in a pitch meeting as a joke and be horrified when the boss is like “I like it! Real schmaltz. It plays!”
• I like that the tagline says to “Spend Christmas with two of the brightest stars of the holidays” and then the Santa hats on Culkin and Anna Chlumsky have stars on it, so we’re not confused who they mean.
• Also, what’s up with Gene Shalit’s pull quote of “Millions of Americans will wish she (Anna Chlumsky) were their girl.” You mean children right, Gene? This is worse than the bees. Also, why did Thomas J. have to die from bees? He can’t see without his glasses. Now I’m crying.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
• How did they get the hat on the Statue of Liberty? I buy they got her to make the screaming face but getting the hat on through her spikes is a stretch.
• Is St. Nick meeting St. Bernard a showdown of significance?
• “The Day I Fall in Love” by Dolly Parton and James Ingram is a jam. It should have been nominated for Best Original Song at the Golden Globes. I love at the 1:38 mark when Dolly Parton passionately sings “Roll over Beethoven! Won’t you play with me?!” and then at 2:42 James Ingram belts “I’ll BE YOUR BEETHOVEN!”
• Also, why are they calling it “…the holiday season’s comedy smash”? It opened in October and only grossed $4.6M at the box office. Swingers’ legacy began later on home video from my recollection.
• Also, what’s with the line at the bottom of the ad: “It’s the most fun you’ll have at the movies…ask anyone who’s seen it”? At the time of this ad, how do you suggest common folks do that? Is there going to be a networking event where Swingers viewers will be there to mingle with filmgoers who haven’t taken the dive yet?
The Little Mermaid (1997 Re-Release)
• Why does it say at the bottom “Only in Theaters”? Did they take away everyone’s VHS copies and I just forgot about it?
Happy Holidays everyone!