Johnny Deadline: Coming Attractions

 by JB

The 4K Blu-ray release of Major League last week (along with the regular Blu-ray and DVD release of The Iron Claw) almost escaped me. I don’t keep up with physical media releases as much as I used to, perhaps because there are fewer and fewer must-own physical media releases in our new, crazy, streaming-and-screaming, virtual eco-sphere.

For those of you who, like me, stop and watch Major League—and other basic cable favorites—every time we chance upon them, take my advice. Buy copies of these films, either physical or virtual. The minute you chance upon them when channel surfing, start the Movies Anywhere machine or spin the physical discs. Watch the movie.

Now, go back to the broadcast version. Notice that their version is still playing. The difference between when your viewing ends and when their airing ends, because of commercials, is TIME YOU CAN SPEND DOING SOMETHING ELSE! (ANYTHING ELSE!) I just saved you that tiny percentage of your life. You’re welcome. (I have noticed on many "free" channels that screenings of Major League, Goodfellas, and My Cousin Vinny can contain up to 70 minutes of commercials.) Sheesh.

Where was I?

Oh, right! Here are the physical media releases for the next three months that most intrigue me. Credit cards ready? Let’s go!

OUT TODAY:

My Life with the Living Dead – A new documentary about John Russo, co-writer of Night of the Living Dead. Tasty.

Accidently Preserved, Volume 5 – I cannot believe that I was totally unaware of this series from Undercrank Productions until recently. It’s right up my alley. Four rare and lost silent films from vintage 16mm prints for $20 American? All with new musical scores by Jon C. Mirsalis? Sold.

The Looters (1955) – A group of plane crash survivors in the Rocky Mountains are beset by blood-thirsty mercenaries planning to pillage the crash site. A crazy blend of disaster film and western, made by Universal Pictures and starring Julie Addams, the year after Creature from the Black Lagoon! Co-starring the great Thomas Gomez from Force of Evil. Universal made hundreds and hundreds of Westerns—this is one of them.

APRIL 16:

High Noon (1952) in 4K – Do not forsake me, oh my darling, especially when you are taken from the original negative and feature HDR.

April 23:

The Departed (2006) in 4K

Rolling Thunder (1977) in 4K –

Violence, revenge, and bloodshed... all with improved transfers!

The Cat and the Canary (1939) Special Edition – I hold this film close to my heart for so many reasons. It’s the grand-daddy of all the “I’m sorry, the bridge is out; you’ll have to stay the night” parlor melodramas that eventually led to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Murder by Death, and Clue. Has anyone else noticed that as mainstream entertainment moves toward streaming, physical media offers more and more obscure, niche, and boutique titles? This is a very positive trend. Bring on the esoteric, the exploitative, and the ancient!

Road to Ruin (Forbidden Fruit: The Golden Age of the Exploitation Picture Vol. 15) (1928 and 1934) – Well, you NEED to pick up this low-budget exploitation quickie if you, like me, have already invested in the first 14 titles in the series. Right? I thought so... Has anyone else noticed that as mainstream entertainment moves toward streaming, physical media offers more and more obscure, niche, and boutique titles?

Hardware Wars (1978) – When I was at college in the early 1980s, almost every campus screening featured this short comic gem as an added attraction. Amateur auteur Ernie Fosselius sets his fervid imagination loose on the then-new film Star Wars and perfectly captured the zeitgeist of that phenomenon... as it was happening! Features the now iconic trailer pitch line, “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll kiss five bucks goodbye.” Contains Fosselius’s follow-up, Porklips Now, plus a plethora of bonus material (It gets better: the main feature runs only 13 minutes.)

True Love (1989) – Nancy Savoca’s rambunctious tale of romance and marriage finally makes its disc debut. Featuring early performances by Annabella Sciorra and Ron Eldard and the craziest performance of Chubby Checker’s “The Hucklebuck” ever put on film. Has anyone else noticed that as mainstream entertainment moves toward streaming, physical media offers more and more obscure, niche, and boutique titles?

April 30:

Ocean’s Eleven Trilogy in 4K – Again, you’ll save oodles of time watching these discs instead of broadcast and basic cable screenings. Think of this as an investment in happiness.

Madame Web (2024) – Because you want to see what all the fuss was about. “He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died.”

Se7en (1995): “What’s in the Box?” Special Edition – As much as I was hoping for a disc case that looked like a Gwyneth Paltrow mannequin head in a beat-up cardboard box, we’re going to have to settle for this "unique box packaging” that looks like... well, you know. We also get the film on 4K UHD disc and Blu-ray disc in a deluxe Steelbook, something called “a John Doe 38-page booklet,” a frosted pine “Little Trees” brand air freshener, 7 “Deadly Sin” comic books, 7 “Deadly Sin” crime scene art cards, a double-sided poster, a “Help Me” glow-in-the-dark art card, an investigation chalkboard art card, and a numbered “Sticker of Authenticity.” All for the low, low price of only $134. Shouldn’t SOMEONE remind Warner Brothers that one of the seven deadly sins is GREED?

Vitagraph Comedies – According to Kino-Lorber, this 3-disc collection contains 39 silent farces produced by the Vitagraph Studios from 1907-1922. It includes films by John Bunny, Larry Semon, Frank Daniels, Edith Storey, and Mr. And Mrs. Sidney Drew. Has anyone else noticed that as mainstream entertainment moves toward streaming, physical media offers more and more obscure, niche, and boutique titles?

Dune (1984) (Via Vision Special Edition) – With all the fuss and feathers over the new version, don’t you get a hankering to see David Lynch’s version again? How long has it been? This release includes the original theatrical version and the extended TV version that Lynch disowned.

Dogfight (1991) (Criterion Collection) – A personal favorite finally gets a Blu-ray release, featuring career-best performances from River Phoenix and Lili Taylor. If you are on a tight budget, wait a few weeks for the big Criterion 50% Off Sale at Barnes & Noble in July.

Basket Case (1982) in 4K – Because I’m dying to see how an ultra-low-budget exploitation film, originally shot on 16mm, looks in 4K. Yadda Yadda Yadda... obscure, niche, and boutique titles?

May 7:

The Crow (1994) in 4K – Just in time for the remake! The original with improved picture and, with any luck at all, much more crow!

Remembering Gene Wilder (2023) – New documentary featuring friends and family eulogizing the beloved late actor.

May 14:

Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) in 4K – I re-watched this a few days ago on the basic cable machine. So much iconic imagery. So much iconic music. Has any director ever framed a shot the way Sergio Leone did? I can’t wait to see this classic in HDR; I’m betting it will make Henry Fonda’s horrific bad guy Frank only that much WORSE.

Peeping Tom (1960) in 4K (Criterion Collection) – 4K Goodness! If you are on a tight budget, wait a few weeks for the big Criterion 50% Off Sale at Barnes & Noble in July. Assuming Barnes & Noble doesn’t suddenly go out of business.

May 21:

Paramount Marketing Strategy — All Four Formats/One Great Price:

Hunt for Red October, Shutter Island, Escape from LA, Interstellar, The Untouchables, Beverly Hills Cop, Cloverfield, A Quiet Place, and The Lost City

Each release includes four formats (DVD, Blu-ray disc, 4K Blu-ray, and Digital Code) packed into one box for only $10.99. That is to say, you'll get all formats dirt cheap.

I wonder if anywhere in the country, groups of four film fans are getting together to split these up. By my reckoning, they would pay about three dollars apiece with tax; the one with the worst TV gets the DVD, the one without a disc player gets the digital code, the “regular guy” gets the Blu-ray, and the tech-head gets the 4K Blu-ray disc. Why, it’s the physical media version of socialism! As for me, I can’t wait to see what the disc CASES look like! #RunningOutofRoom.

May 28:

Cry Baby (1990) in 4K

Anatomy of a Fall (2023) (Criterion Collection) – First you’ll laugh, then you’ll cry,

On a tight budget? You may have heard that there will be a big Criterion 50% Off Sale at Barnes & Noble in July.

June 4:

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in 4K (1998) (Criterion Collection)

The Long Good Friday in 4K (1980) (Arrow Films Special Edition)

Again: Budget? Wait! Criterion 50% Off Sale, Barnes & Noble, July.

The Uninvited (1944) /The Unseen (1945): Imprint Films Special Edition Boxset – While expensive ($69.99), this double feature boxset looks intriguing as The Uninvited is one of the most underrated horror films ever made. (I have never seen The Unseen. There’s a joke there somewhere.) A bit pricey for a blind buy, sure, but Imprint’s releases seldom disappoint.

June 18:

Chinatown (1974) in 4K – Forget it, Jake. It’s 4K.

June 25:

Bound (1996) in 4K (Criterion Collection)

Blue Velvet (1986) in 4K (Criterion Collection)

Again, if you are on a tight budget, wait a few weeks for the big Criterion 50% Off Sale at Barnes & Noble in July.

Something Weird Backwoods Double Feature: Common Law Wife (1963) & Jennie: Wife/Child (1968) – The Film Masters label is slowly (painfully slowly) re-releasing some choice Something Weird (RIP) titles on Blu-ray. I can’t tell you how many of these exploitation gems I collected when the original DVDs went out of print and, during a very short window, could be had dirt-cheap. I have a big binder full of them, as I lacked the shelf space for titles like Common-Law Wife and Jennie: Wife/Child. This release is full of extras, too: from a pair of audio commentaries to a Ballyhoo Pictures documentary on hixploitation. Highly recommended.

Hey, has anyone else noticed that as mainstream entertainment moves toward streaming, physical media offers more and more obscure, niche, and boutique titles? THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE NOTICED.

ON THE HORIZON:

August 13:

The Bat Whispers (1930) Special Edition – The disc this year that I’m most looking forward to, this 1930 sound version of the Broadway play The Bat is one of the first widescreen films ever made. Long thought lost, it was discovered when Mary Pickford donated her personal film collection to the Library of Congress, and it was finally restored in 1988. It was remade again under its original title in 1959; that version starred Vincent Price and Agnes Moorhead and is now in the public domain.

I want that bat to whisper to me.