A guy with cyborg parts, innate fighting skills and no memory wakes up in a lab and is thrust into a frankly nonsensical plot involving a telekinetic villain's mastermind plot to conquer the world with a cyborg army or something.
The only thing this movie has is its gimmick: it's shot entirely from the main character's point of view, which makes it feel like a Let's Play video of a mediocre FPS game. The story's even structured like a videogame, with a fetch quest, shoot 'em up levels, a sniper level, a parkour level, a stealth level, a co-op level and a boss fight, clearly delineated by expository cut scenes. As a pleasant surprise, the shaky cam isn't nausea-inducing (at least not for me), it's just annoying. Since the point of view stays the same, every time the movie cuts but stays in the same location, it feels incongruous and takes you out of the movie. Maybe this could've worked a little better if every scene was an unbroken take? And since I'm offering suggestions, maybe write a plot than makes sense and add some fleshed out characters instead of a mugging Sharlto Copley and women who are nothing but sex objects.
'THE OLD MAN [DENZEL] AND THE SEA [OF MEDIOCRITY]' FOUR-WAY SPLIT!
2 GUNS (2013, 4K UHD) THE EQUALIZER (2014, 4K UHD) THE FALL GUY (2024, THEATER) BOY KILLS WORLD (2024, AMAZON RENTAL)
"2 Guns" is what 2010's "The Losers" should have been: a fun 'R' rated adaptation of a graphic novel with self-awareness of its action-driven narrative's silliness that plays it straight but doesn't skimp on the fun factor. Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg make an excellent pair of leads that at first appear to be anti-heroes working with dangerous Mexican criminal Papi Greco (Edward James Olmos), but end up realizing too late they're both good guys working deep undercover for, then against the alphabet soup of U.S. agencies that first sent them out and then start chasing them down. Director Baltasar Kormákur keeps the 2000's desaturated photography at bay (Oliver Woods' cinematography is exquisite) and the plot moving fast. James Marsden, Fred Ward, Bill Paxton (R.I.P. both) and a mostly-wasted Paula Patton get some nice moments, but this one's fueled by Wahlberg and Denzel star wattage. 'It's fine.'3.25 EXPLODING KITCHENS (out of 5).
"The Equalizer" and "The Fall Guy" have zero resemblance to the 80's TV shows that they're named after. Denzel's first crack at an action franchise feels more like "Man On Fire"-caliber, slow-burn revenge that doesn't really get going until the second act. Credit to director Antoine Fuqua for restraining his flashy style until the first bloodbath with the Russian gangsters, trusting that his leading man is compelling enough just reading and avoiding conflict while getting to know the young hooker (Chloë Grace Moretz) he feels an urge to protect. By the end we're not only OK embracing the silly action tropes (best slomo walk away from an explosion ever... until the not-so-great CGI overwhelms the moment!) but actively rooting for Robert McCall to beat the ever-loving crap out of Marton Csokas, David Harbour, Vladimir Kulish and every corrupt cop in town. I would have done away with the whole 'Ralphie (Johnny Skourtis) needs motivation to become a security guard' subplot, but that's just me. The two sequels had great moments/set pieces, but the first "Equalizer" tops them both. 4 DECOY BURNER CELLPHONES ON BUSES (out of 5).
Second viewing of "The Fall Guy" for me after an underwhelming IMAX opening weekend (for my personal taste and the below-expectations box office returns), and I liked it a little bit more. It's basically a rom-com with tremendous action set-pieces (many of them practical and only CG-enhanced, which is appreciated) that coasts on the natural charm that Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt bring to their generic-as-heck, on/off again romantic roles. Their chemistry during the split-screen phone call and retake-after-retake scenes was cute and hilarious. Hollywood can't stop being in love with itself, though, and for anyone with even remote knowledge of how movies are made this is an unending parade of ridiculous plot twists and OTT cartoony acting (Hannah Waddingham and Aaron Taylor-Johnson being the worst offenders) that almost cancelled out the good. I liked "TFG" but it's no "Bullet Train," and I didn't think David Leitch's previous flick was that awesome to begin with. 'It's fine.'3.15 LEE MAJOR CAMEOS WAY TOO LATE INTO THE CREDITS (out of 5).
Like "65" the year before, Sam Raimi produced "Boy Kills World" and watched it die a quick death upon its blink-and-you-missed-it theatrical run. A very "Hardcore Henry" vibe in its too-self-aware bloody revenge tale of 'Boy' (a buff Bill Skarsgård in grown-up form) as he's trained to become an instrument of death by a Shaman (Yayan Ruhian, aka Mad Dog from "The Raid 1 & 2") against the powerful family that did them harm. Or did they? Lots of twists in this one, not just in the plot but on actual human bodies mangled by gunfire and punches/kicks. CG effects and practical fights/stunts make for a winning combo. Worth a rental for Yayan Ruhian alone. 3 FAKE FIGHTING VIDEOGAME MEMORIES (out of 5).
The Matrix (1999): all right, it's not in the 2000s exactly, but let's face it, it changed movies forever. For better or worse, it's still debatable. And without it we wouldn't have John Wick, so thank God for that. Also, I'm one of those freaks who likes the reboot they did recently. Mistakes were made in it, but as a whole I dig it.
Crank (2006): (yes i got the idea of watching it from the screengrab of the day) one of my favorites action movies of the 2000s. It's nasty and fun. I like it when my movies go balls-out-off-the-wall-makes-no-sense-but-we-don't-care, and boy does this movie go for it. The sequel is even crazier.
Like Kunider above, I was inspired by the day's screengrab--just in a slightly different Statham direction.
There's a part in The Transporter when Jason Statham chases after a crop dusting airplane like they're playing a game of tag. He juuust misses the plane, stops running, gives it a pissed off "Oh, you pesky plane" look, then takes off running again to cut it off in a different field... and repeats the whole sequence maybe three times before the plane gets tired and lands. It's hilarious, it's awesome, it's goofy fun, it's The Transporter.
Pretty sure I'll be able to get in multiple movies today, so the question becomes... keep Transporting, or mix it up? Either way, it's win-win on 2000s Action day.
The Dark Knight (2008) and The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
So ive been trying to do only new watches AND i know these arent really sploitation-y however sometimes you need comfort food flix. Ive probably rewatched these more than any other 2000s movies..and for good reason...Christopher Nolan is a genius. The writing, plot, direction and tone of these two flicks elevates them well beyond being pigeon-holed as "super hero comic book" movies. For me they represent some of the best of what going to the movies can offer.
"if i pull that off, would you die?" "it would be extremely painful" "you're a big guy" "for you"
I'm a big fan of Seagal's movies but tapped out pretty early in the DTV era so this was a discovery. Seagal is an aging hitman who has to carry out a few last jobs while trying to reconnect with his daughter and become a better father. This is the first time I've ever seen him play a flawed character and show vulnerability on-screen. Kinda amazing. This is an interesting tight script, well-acted and directed. Highly recommended.
This is for sure the best of the Seagal DTVs and one of my favorite Seagal movies period. There are a few other decent ones but they don't come near this one.
THE WITCH: THE SUBVERSION (2018, dir. Park Hoon-Jung)
I think The Witch: The Subversion is well-made, but it may not be for me. I did not dislike it, and I did not love it, either. Though connecting with 21st-century cinema is not easy for me, I always try be open-minded. A young girl, covered in blood, turns up on a farm in rural South Korea after escaping some kind of institution. A decade after being taken in by the couple who owns the farm, strange people start showing up in her life after she appears on a television singing competition. Then things start getting weird. It is the change in the plot at this point that really threw me off. Moreover, the action truly begins in the second half of the film. This is the second film from this director I have watched during this month and, like the first one (New World), The Witch has a lot of story twists. Too many.
THE A-TEAM (2010) It’s an origin story, where we see the guys meet, get framed, become fugitives, and take on one last job that may or may not clear their good names. This movie is exhausting. We all love a “men on a mission” movie, but this one is so mission-heavy that there’s little sense of character or camaraderie among our heroes. Every line of dialogue is tough guy shouting. Get used to hearing “Move! Move! Move!” a lot. Just a noisy mess.
AVALON (2001) In the future, everyone’s hooked into a popular virtual reality war game. One of the game’s star players investigates a conspiracy involving the game’s creators. This movie was a Japanese/Polish/French co-production, written and directed by Mamoru Oshii, director of Ghost in the Shell. Yes, The Matrix is an obvious influence, but this isn’t an action movie, instead using the “reality vs. virtual reality” concept to explore themes of loneliness and/or PTSD. I found it a little dull, until things got wild with a third act twist. An oddity.
Bonus Universal Monster-sploitation: THE MUMMY’S CURSE (1944) Kharis the mummy is back, as is a lady mummy, Queen Ananka. There are also evil cultists and a familiar-seeming adventuring archeologist. I guess I liked this one, even though the Kharis movies are really for hardcore fans only.
I own the Blu-ray box set, but I'm pretty sure a bunch of them are streaming on Peacock and rentable elsewhere. Maybe they're on Internet Archive as well.
Oh, I remember Kunider mentioning Avalon, but it wasn't available to stream anywhere in Canada at the time. But now it's on Youtube and Google Play, so I might check that out soon.
I think this is my favorite The Rock movie (The Other Guys doesn't count, and neither do titles of Michael Bay flicks).
The Rundown is pretty much always trying to be fun, and does a great job of utilizing ol' Dwayne's muscled up badass persona without grinding the movie to a halt to make sure we notice that the bulky tough guy is bulky and tough (cough, Fast franchise, cough). A great example of this is a scene soon after The Rock and Seann William Scott head into the jungle. The Rock easily dodges Scott's lightning/thunder attacks, deals a couple of effortlessly thunderous blows, and quips, "You done beating me up?"--he's a badass, and he's kinda funny too. But as their conversation continues and Rock starts to get a little self-serious with a "No second chances" mantra, Scott mimics the line right back at him in a cartoon meathead voice, deflating any ego/image overinflation on the spot. The Rock is cool, but he's not too cool to make fun of. That constant checking of The Rock's cool factor helps build up enough audience goodwill that by the time he's beating up buildings and walking away unphased by explosion shockwaves in the movie's finale, I'm cheering him on rather than rolling my eyes.
The swinging vines fight with the rebels is incredibly fun, with pretty unique deployment of wirework to exaggerate the way all the bodies are thrown around and redirected by the many, many blows landed. Rosario Dawson is never not delightful, we get a fun Walken villain, and Ewen Bremner's wacky Scotsman schtick is the cherry on top.
With all the Statham I've been seeing this month, I've determined he's either a.) cool and menacing, or b.) angry and shouting, with no other colors in the palette. However, I can't tell if I don't like Jason Statham or if I just don't like the people who direct Jason Statham in movies. I'm also confused by the absolutely dreadful ending of this film. Isn't there a sequel?
(By the way, this is the second time this month I've watched a movie and then it has wound up to be the picture for the day. I feel like I'm LOCKED IN this year!)
Remember when studios thought Colin Ferrell was the next big action star? Strange days. Anyways, big kudos to the casting director here. For all its faults, I could never possibly tire of watching Samuel L Jackson and Colin Ferrell shoot the shit. Combine that with a pretty fun closing action sequence, and I had a pretty fun little Saturday.
The opening sequence is just so, so good that the film just tries to keep upping the action (looking at you helicopter scene), but nothing else made me gasp like the first few minutes.
This was a good one! Also, I think it's the only thing I've seen the great Alexander Siddig outside of Star Trek, so that's what I remember it most for.
I hadn't seen this since its original theatrical run, and I couldn't really remember what I thought of it. I know I was excited for it pre-release, and I can see why. The premise--a bunch of cartoon character assassins compete to take out the same target, a witness under FBI protection--is a cool idea. The cast is even more stacked than I remembered--like Joel Edgerton and Chris Pine competing for 13th billing level stacked. But man, oh man, what a colossal waste of potential.
It's almost impressive that a movie with this premise could be so unfun. Instead of letting a wacky bunch of assassins fight and shoot each other, Smokin' Aces spends more of its energy building up a house-of-cards plot that isn't interesting or clever, and at least half of which (a certain identity switcheroo) is telegraphed and re-telegraphed from the start. There's action in fits and starts, but for the vast majority of the first, oh, hour and fifteen minutes, it feels like the movie is just trying to set up chess pieces for its "mindbending" finale... only this movie doesn't have chess pieces, it has light-up action figures that should be smashing into each other!
The other glaring mismatch in how this movie presents versus what it actually delivers is its bafflingly serious tone. Ryan Reynolds and Jeremy Piven in key roles of a casino shoot-em-up flick? The wisecracking must reach potentially hazardous levels, right? Nope. Piven is crying for--I don't think I'm exaggerating here--over half his screentime. Reynolds goes from annoyed to mad to sad-mad to pretty much a broken man over the course of the movie. Why is Taraji P. Henson crying at the end of a movie called "Smokin' Aces"? The last ten minutes of this movie isn't fun, it's certainly not comedy, and it's not even action... it's dour and depressing, and for some reason, it's doing that on purpose! Jason Bateman, God bless him, shows up for two minutes and is actually funny (interestingly enough, he's sort of doing an A+ version of Piven's typical schtick)... and I have no idea why the tone of THAT scene wasn't the tone of the entire movie.
How to weed out the future bad seeds of society? Send 'em to an island and make 'em kill each other off after they finish 8th grade! Battle Royale predicts the reality show with an accent on ultra-violence. Bullets and blood fly furiously, but it didn't really hit for me as powerfully as I thought it would, as the abundance of characters added action but distracted from its impact. A carnage-filled comic book romp that was worth watching once, but that I probably won't re-view.
Not as good as the first movie, and feels pretty disjointed, like one or more stages of production had last minute deadline shifts... but it's still funny enough, and the three stars are still so charismatic and having such a good time that it manages to remain a pretty fun watch.
Before this, I also rewatched Miss Congeniality for the first time in 20ish years, and although I decided it's not really action-y enough to be 2000s action, I wanted to shout out the movie for being fun as hell. Sandra Bullock is just an A+ superstar.
Hot Fuzz (2007) It is the rare film that can be a parody of a genre and a bonafide film of that genre at the same time. Terrific action, great jokes, and knowing nods to other action films. Bloody, nutty, and hilarious— what else do you want, a Cornetto ice cream cone?
I had never seen this, but I remember Patrick talking about Neveldine/Taylor (who have made less movies than I imagined). Wow, this is pure mid-2000s. It's just completely over the top. There were a lot of slurs that we don't see much in movies anymore.
I really liked it, but it was going for that quick edits, shaky cam thing that was popular then. I like it when it's well done, but even then it's kind of hard to watch. Kind of reminded me of Tony Scott's Domino which came out the year previous.
Brought the 1.5 and 4 year olds to the drive in for a film featuring an acid trip car chase, multiple scenes of soul draining torture and at least one raunchy sex joke.
That's right, folks, we caught Trolls, Band Together (2024) at the drive in.
I know it's not strictly action but it has multiple action setpieces and, as my fellow parent of young ones know, fitting in more than one movie in a day is unlikely.
Honestly didn't hate this one! I'm not the target audience for the music (even if it's clearly grasping at low-hanging fruits for anyone who grew up through the 90s/00s) but found it catchy enough - some of the needle drops were downright surprising. The trippy sequences were fun as well.
On a side note, I also have a weird emotional reaction to just watching movies, especially on the big screen, with my kids (4 year old - this was the 1.5s only experience for some time). Might it taint my reaction for the better? Sure. But I'm more than okay with that.
Patrick good in you for making it through Inside Out 2 without sobbing. I'm the type who gets emotional easily at movies and just the thought of watching something as emotional as Inside Out with my daughter, especially given those themes, gets me a bit choked up.
So.. yeah. 2000s action.
Spoiler: I watched Love Lies Bleeding tomorrow. While also not strictly action, I feel I somewhat redeemed myself.
Hardcore Henry (2015, dir. Ilya Naishuller)
ReplyDeleteA guy with cyborg parts, innate fighting skills and no memory wakes up in a lab and is thrust into a frankly nonsensical plot involving a telekinetic villain's mastermind plot to conquer the world with a cyborg army or something.
The only thing this movie has is its gimmick: it's shot entirely from the main character's point of view, which makes it feel like a Let's Play video of a mediocre FPS game. The story's even structured like a videogame, with a fetch quest, shoot 'em up levels, a sniper level, a parkour level, a stealth level, a co-op level and a boss fight, clearly delineated by expository cut scenes. As a pleasant surprise, the shaky cam isn't nausea-inducing (at least not for me), it's just annoying. Since the point of view stays the same, every time the movie cuts but stays in the same location, it feels incongruous and takes you out of the movie. Maybe this could've worked a little better if every scene was an unbroken take? And since I'm offering suggestions, maybe write a plot than makes sense and add some fleshed out characters instead of a mugging Sharlto Copley and women who are nothing but sex objects.
You can't argue that the soundtrack isn't awesome though.
DeleteI seem to be the only one in the world who likes this movie. I'm due for a rewatch
'THE OLD MAN [DENZEL] AND THE SEA [OF MEDIOCRITY]' FOUR-WAY SPLIT!
ReplyDelete2 GUNS (2013, 4K UHD)
THE EQUALIZER (2014, 4K UHD)
THE FALL GUY (2024, THEATER)
BOY KILLS WORLD (2024, AMAZON RENTAL)
"2 Guns" is what 2010's "The Losers" should have been: a fun 'R' rated adaptation of a graphic novel with self-awareness of its action-driven narrative's silliness that plays it straight but doesn't skimp on the fun factor. Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg make an excellent pair of leads that at first appear to be anti-heroes working with dangerous Mexican criminal Papi Greco (Edward James Olmos), but end up realizing too late they're both good guys working deep undercover for, then against the alphabet soup of U.S. agencies that first sent them out and then start chasing them down. Director Baltasar Kormákur keeps the 2000's desaturated photography at bay (Oliver Woods' cinematography is exquisite) and the plot moving fast. James Marsden, Fred Ward, Bill Paxton (R.I.P. both) and a mostly-wasted Paula Patton get some nice moments, but this one's fueled by Wahlberg and Denzel star wattage. 'It's fine.' 3.25 EXPLODING KITCHENS (out of 5).
"The Equalizer" and "The Fall Guy" have zero resemblance to the 80's TV shows that they're named after. Denzel's first crack at an action franchise feels more like "Man On Fire"-caliber, slow-burn revenge that doesn't really get going until the second act. Credit to director Antoine Fuqua for restraining his flashy style until the first bloodbath with the Russian gangsters, trusting that his leading man is compelling enough just reading and avoiding conflict while getting to know the young hooker (Chloë Grace Moretz) he feels an urge to protect. By the end we're not only OK embracing the silly action tropes (best slomo walk away from an explosion ever... until the not-so-great CGI overwhelms the moment!) but actively rooting for Robert McCall to beat the ever-loving crap out of Marton Csokas, David Harbour, Vladimir Kulish and every corrupt cop in town. I would have done away with the whole 'Ralphie (Johnny Skourtis) needs motivation to become a security guard' subplot, but that's just me. The two sequels had great moments/set pieces, but the first "Equalizer" tops them both. 4 DECOY BURNER CELLPHONES ON BUSES (out of 5).
Second viewing of "The Fall Guy" for me after an underwhelming IMAX opening weekend (for my personal taste and the below-expectations box office returns), and I liked it a little bit more. It's basically a rom-com with tremendous action set-pieces (many of them practical and only CG-enhanced, which is appreciated) that coasts on the natural charm that Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt bring to their generic-as-heck, on/off again romantic roles. Their chemistry during the split-screen phone call and retake-after-retake scenes was cute and hilarious. Hollywood can't stop being in love with itself, though, and for anyone with even remote knowledge of how movies are made this is an unending parade of ridiculous plot twists and OTT cartoony acting (Hannah Waddingham and Aaron Taylor-Johnson being the worst offenders) that almost cancelled out the good. I liked "TFG" but it's no "Bullet Train," and I didn't think David Leitch's previous flick was that awesome to begin with. 'It's fine.' 3.15 LEE MAJOR CAMEOS WAY TOO LATE INTO THE CREDITS (out of 5).
Like "65" the year before, Sam Raimi produced "Boy Kills World" and watched it die a quick death upon its blink-and-you-missed-it theatrical run. A very "Hardcore Henry" vibe in its too-self-aware bloody revenge tale of 'Boy' (a buff Bill Skarsgård in grown-up form) as he's trained to become an instrument of death by a Shaman (Yayan Ruhian, aka Mad Dog from "The Raid 1 & 2") against the powerful family that did them harm. Or did they? Lots of twists in this one, not just in the plot but on actual human bodies mangled by gunfire and punches/kicks. CG effects and practical fights/stunts make for a winning combo. Worth a rental for Yayan Ruhian alone. 3 FAKE FIGHTING VIDEOGAME MEMORIES (out of 5).
ReplyDeleteThe Matrix (1999): all right, it's not in the 2000s exactly, but let's face it, it changed movies forever. For better or worse, it's still debatable. And without it we wouldn't have John Wick, so thank God for that. Also, I'm one of those freaks who likes the reboot they did recently. Mistakes were made in it, but as a whole I dig it.
Crank (2006): (yes i got the idea of watching it from the screengrab of the day) one of my favorites action movies of the 2000s. It's nasty and fun. I like it when my movies go balls-out-off-the-wall-makes-no-sense-but-we-don't-care, and boy does this movie go for it. The sequel is even crazier.
The Transporter (2002)
ReplyDeleteLike Kunider above, I was inspired by the day's screengrab--just in a slightly different Statham direction.
There's a part in The Transporter when Jason Statham chases after a crop dusting airplane like they're playing a game of tag. He juuust misses the plane, stops running, gives it a pissed off "Oh, you pesky plane" look, then takes off running again to cut it off in a different field... and repeats the whole sequence maybe three times before the plane gets tired and lands. It's hilarious, it's awesome, it's goofy fun, it's The Transporter.
Pretty sure I'll be able to get in multiple movies today, so the question becomes... keep Transporting, or mix it up? Either way, it's win-win on 2000s Action day.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on the rest of the series, I remember thinking 2 was a big step down but really enjoying 3 as a big departure...
DeleteI enjoy all 3 Transporter movies, to different level (we don't talk about the 2015 movie)
DeleteChocolate (2008)
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite sploitation categories, Lethal Ladies, is missing this year, but I make do.
The Dark Knight (2008) and The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
ReplyDeleteSo ive been trying to do only new watches AND i know these arent really sploitation-y however sometimes you need comfort food flix. Ive probably rewatched these more than any other 2000s movies..and for good reason...Christopher Nolan is a genius. The writing, plot, direction and tone of these two flicks elevates them well beyond being pigeon-holed as "super hero comic book" movies. For me they represent some of the best of what going to the movies can offer.
"if i pull that off, would you die?"
"it would be extremely painful"
"you're a big guy"
"for you"
Pistol Whipped (2008, dir. Roel Reine)
ReplyDeleteI'm a big fan of Seagal's movies but tapped out pretty early in the DTV era so this was a discovery. Seagal is an aging hitman who has to carry out a few last jobs while trying to reconnect with his daughter and become a better father. This is the first time I've ever seen him play a flawed character and show vulnerability on-screen. Kinda amazing. This is an interesting tight script, well-acted and directed. Highly recommended.
This is for sure the best of the Seagal DTVs and one of my favorite Seagal movies period. There are a few other decent ones but they don't come near this one.
DeleteTHE WITCH: THE SUBVERSION (2018, dir. Park Hoon-Jung)
ReplyDeleteI think The Witch: The Subversion is well-made, but it may not be for me. I did not dislike it, and I did not love it, either. Though connecting with 21st-century cinema is not easy for me, I always try be open-minded. A young girl, covered in blood, turns up on a farm in rural South Korea after escaping some kind of institution. A decade after being taken in by the couple who owns the farm, strange people start showing up in her life after she appears on a television singing competition. Then things start getting weird. It is the change in the plot at this point that really threw me off. Moreover, the action truly begins in the second half of the film. This is the second film from this director I have watched during this month and, like the first one (New World), The Witch has a lot of story twists. Too many.
THE A-TEAM (2010)
ReplyDeleteIt’s an origin story, where we see the guys meet, get framed, become fugitives, and take on one last job that may or may not clear their good names. This movie is exhausting. We all love a “men on a mission” movie, but this one is so mission-heavy that there’s little sense of character or camaraderie among our heroes. Every line of dialogue is tough guy shouting. Get used to hearing “Move! Move! Move!” a lot. Just a noisy mess.
AVALON (2001)
In the future, everyone’s hooked into a popular virtual reality war game. One of the game’s star players investigates a conspiracy involving the game’s creators. This movie was a Japanese/Polish/French co-production, written and directed by Mamoru Oshii, director of Ghost in the Shell. Yes, The Matrix is an obvious influence, but this isn’t an action movie, instead using the “reality vs. virtual reality” concept to explore themes of loneliness and/or PTSD. I found it a little dull, until things got wild with a third act twist. An oddity.
Bonus Universal Monster-sploitation: THE MUMMY’S CURSE (1944)
Kharis the mummy is back, as is a lady mummy, Queen Ananka. There are also evil cultists and a familiar-seeming adventuring archeologist. I guess I liked this one, even though the Kharis movies are really for hardcore fans only.
I wish Avalon had a proper disc release
DeleteHow are you watching the Universal monster films, Mac?
DeleteI own the Blu-ray box set, but I'm pretty sure a bunch of them are streaming on Peacock and rentable elsewhere. Maybe they're on Internet Archive as well.
DeleteDo you have the giant box with all the monsters and all their movies? It's an awesome set.
DeleteOh, I remember Kunider mentioning Avalon, but it wasn't available to stream anywhere in Canada at the time. But now it's on Youtube and Google Play, so I might check that out soon.
DeleteAlien vs. Predator (2004)
ReplyDeleteI want a predator bestie!
The Rundown (2003)
ReplyDeleteI think this is my favorite The Rock movie (The Other Guys doesn't count, and neither do titles of Michael Bay flicks).
The Rundown is pretty much always trying to be fun, and does a great job of utilizing ol' Dwayne's muscled up badass persona without grinding the movie to a halt to make sure we notice that the bulky tough guy is bulky and tough (cough, Fast franchise, cough). A great example of this is a scene soon after The Rock and Seann William Scott head into the jungle. The Rock easily dodges Scott's lightning/thunder attacks, deals a couple of effortlessly thunderous blows, and quips, "You done beating me up?"--he's a badass, and he's kinda funny too. But as their conversation continues and Rock starts to get a little self-serious with a "No second chances" mantra, Scott mimics the line right back at him in a cartoon meathead voice, deflating any ego/image overinflation on the spot. The Rock is cool, but he's not too cool to make fun of. That constant checking of The Rock's cool factor helps build up enough audience goodwill that by the time he's beating up buildings and walking away unphased by explosion shockwaves in the movie's finale, I'm cheering him on rather than rolling my eyes.
The swinging vines fight with the rebels is incredibly fun, with pretty unique deployment of wirework to exaggerate the way all the bodies are thrown around and redirected by the many, many blows landed. Rosario Dawson is never not delightful, we get a fun Walken villain, and Ewen Bremner's wacky Scotsman schtick is the cherry on top.
Crank (2006)
ReplyDeleteWith all the Statham I've been seeing this month, I've determined he's either a.) cool and menacing, or b.) angry and shouting, with no other colors in the palette. However, I can't tell if I don't like Jason Statham or if I just don't like the people who direct Jason Statham in movies. I'm also confused by the absolutely dreadful ending of this film. Isn't there a sequel?
(By the way, this is the second time this month I've watched a movie and then it has wound up to be the picture for the day. I feel like I'm LOCKED IN this year!)
Yes there's a sequel. You have to watch it
DeleteSWAT (2003)
ReplyDeleteRemember when studios thought Colin Ferrell was the next big action star? Strange days. Anyways, big kudos to the casting director here. For all its faults, I could never possibly tire of watching Samuel L Jackson and Colin Ferrell shoot the shit. Combine that with a pretty fun closing action sequence, and I had a pretty fun little Saturday.
A pretty fun little Saturday describes SWAT perfectly.
DeleteWell, i was wondering what to watch while i eat dinner. You just provided the perfect suggestion
DeleteVertical Limit (2000)
ReplyDeleteThe opening sequence is just so, so good that the film just tries to keep upping the action (looking at you helicopter scene), but nothing else made me gasp like the first few minutes.
This was a good one! Also, I think it's the only thing I've seen the great Alexander Siddig outside of Star Trek, so that's what I remember it most for.
DeleteSmokin' Aces (2006)
ReplyDeleteMore like Steamin' Deuces.
I hadn't seen this since its original theatrical run, and I couldn't really remember what I thought of it. I know I was excited for it pre-release, and I can see why. The premise--a bunch of cartoon character assassins compete to take out the same target, a witness under FBI protection--is a cool idea. The cast is even more stacked than I remembered--like Joel Edgerton and Chris Pine competing for 13th billing level stacked. But man, oh man, what a colossal waste of potential.
It's almost impressive that a movie with this premise could be so unfun. Instead of letting a wacky bunch of assassins fight and shoot each other, Smokin' Aces spends more of its energy building up a house-of-cards plot that isn't interesting or clever, and at least half of which (a certain identity switcheroo) is telegraphed and re-telegraphed from the start. There's action in fits and starts, but for the vast majority of the first, oh, hour and fifteen minutes, it feels like the movie is just trying to set up chess pieces for its "mindbending" finale... only this movie doesn't have chess pieces, it has light-up action figures that should be smashing into each other!
The other glaring mismatch in how this movie presents versus what it actually delivers is its bafflingly serious tone. Ryan Reynolds and Jeremy Piven in key roles of a casino shoot-em-up flick? The wisecracking must reach potentially hazardous levels, right? Nope. Piven is crying for--I don't think I'm exaggerating here--over half his screentime. Reynolds goes from annoyed to mad to sad-mad to pretty much a broken man over the course of the movie. Why is Taraji P. Henson crying at the end of a movie called "Smokin' Aces"? The last ten minutes of this movie isn't fun, it's certainly not comedy, and it's not even action... it's dour and depressing, and for some reason, it's doing that on purpose! Jason Bateman, God bless him, shows up for two minutes and is actually funny (interestingly enough, he's sort of doing an A+ version of Piven's typical schtick)... and I have no idea why the tone of THAT scene wasn't the tone of the entire movie.
Battle Royale (2000)
ReplyDeleteHow to weed out the future bad seeds of society? Send 'em to an island and make 'em kill each other off after they finish 8th grade! Battle Royale predicts the reality show with an accent on ultra-violence. Bullets and blood fly furiously, but it didn't really hit for me as powerfully as I thought it would, as the abundance of characters added action but distracted from its impact. A carnage-filled comic book romp that was worth watching once, but that I probably won't re-view.
Atlas (2024 Brad Peyton)
ReplyDeleteI shrugged.
Jlo should have spent some of that this is me now money on this movies F/X.
"I shrugged". LOL!
DeleteCharlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)
ReplyDeleteNot as good as the first movie, and feels pretty disjointed, like one or more stages of production had last minute deadline shifts... but it's still funny enough, and the three stars are still so charismatic and having such a good time that it manages to remain a pretty fun watch.
Before this, I also rewatched Miss Congeniality for the first time in 20ish years, and although I decided it's not really action-y enough to be 2000s action, I wanted to shout out the movie for being fun as hell. Sandra Bullock is just an A+ superstar.
Hot Fuzz (2007)
ReplyDeleteIt is the rare film that can be a parody of a genre and a bonafide film of that genre at the same time. Terrific action, great jokes, and knowing nods to other action films. Bloody, nutty, and hilarious— what else do you want, a Cornetto ice cream cone?
ZEBRAMAN (2004):
ReplyDeleteApparently my Junesploitation theme is "sick little freaks," so I had to include some Takashi Miike. This one's pretty out there.
Crank (2006)
ReplyDeleteI had never seen this, but I remember Patrick talking about Neveldine/Taylor (who have made less movies than I imagined). Wow, this is pure mid-2000s. It's just completely over the top. There were a lot of slurs that we don't see much in movies anymore.
I really liked it, but it was going for that quick edits, shaky cam thing that was popular then. I like it when it's well done, but even then it's kind of hard to watch. Kind of reminded me of Tony Scott's Domino which came out the year previous.
Bit late here, busy parent life and all.
ReplyDeleteBrought the 1.5 and 4 year olds to the drive in for a film featuring an acid trip car chase, multiple scenes of soul draining torture and at least one raunchy sex joke.
That's right, folks, we caught Trolls, Band Together (2024) at the drive in.
I know it's not strictly action but it has multiple action setpieces and, as my fellow parent of young ones know, fitting in more than one movie in a day is unlikely.
Honestly didn't hate this one! I'm not the target audience for the music (even if it's clearly grasping at low-hanging fruits for anyone who grew up through the 90s/00s) but found it catchy enough - some of the needle drops were downright surprising. The trippy sequences were fun as well.
On a side note, I also have a weird emotional reaction to just watching movies, especially on the big screen, with my kids (4 year old - this was the 1.5s only experience for some time). Might it taint my reaction for the better? Sure. But I'm more than okay with that.
Patrick good in you for making it through Inside Out 2 without sobbing. I'm the type who gets emotional easily at movies and just the thought of watching something as emotional as Inside Out with my daughter, especially given those themes, gets me a bit choked up.
So.. yeah. 2000s action.
Spoiler: I watched Love Lies Bleeding tomorrow. While also not strictly action, I feel I somewhat redeemed myself.