André Øvredal's THE LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER (2023, SHOWTIME).Best part: Liam Cunningham's 'Captain's Log' narration.ORLove dogs? Children? STAY AWAY FROM THIS!ORPredictable supernatural slasher that's classy as f%#*.
Rick Rosenthal's HALLOWEEN II (1981, SCREAM! FACTORY 4K UHD).Baby mob took 40 years to de-evolve.ORBen Tramer's combustible personality got him "fired." ORMichael Myers, greatest slasher... of hospital tires.
Osgood Perkins' LONGLEGS (2024, 4K UHD). First time seeing movie in 4K.Nic Cage simultaneously ruins/lifts dodgy narrative.ORImagine Clarice Sterling letting Catherine Martin die.ORScariest tune: "Price Is Right" theme song.
Smile 2, Parker Finn, 2024Sponsored by downing many bottles of Voss
George A. Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968, CRITERION 4K UHD).Barbara, catatonic blueprint for zombie apocalypse Karens.ORAnticipating ending better than the actual ending.
Needful Things Extended Edition (1993 Dir. Fraser Clarke Heston)Henceforth known as the Lisa Blount edition
Sometimes longer is better. Like this time.
Bad Moon (1996)Now wishing ‘Homeward Bound’ had more werewolves
Road Games{tune} "I met a killer Down Underrrrrrr"
Terrifier (2016)What if Freddy Krueger was a mime?
IT'S WHAT'S INSIDE (2024, Dir. Greg Jardin)Point is, we're all interchangeable, insufferable dickbags.
Seven (1995)John Doe would be true crime darling.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Billy the Kid and the Green Blaze Vampire (1985) dir. Alan ClarkeExtremely esoteric. Artistically ambitious. Bored beyond belief.
The Lords of Salem (2012)Sherri Moon moons Man in the Moon
Hush. (2016 dir. Mike Flanagan)To do list: move breaker box inside.
The relic (1997) The audiobook was brighter than the film.
Under The Skin (2013, Jonathon Glazer)Adam Pearson debut overshadowed by nude Johansson
Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)The Bad Seed meets Wolf Girl, Interrupted
Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)Waiting for someone to Lover's Vow me
Ghost Ship (2002)It's The Shining but on a boat?
Uzumaki (2000)It's Japanese, you have to watch backwards
You're Next (2011, dir. Adam Wingard)I found the magic: it's Barbara Crampton.The Substance (2024, dir. Coralie Fargeat)Everyone should worship Moore. She's a Demi-god.
Woman of the Hour (2024)Listen to women. Listen to women. Listentowomen.
Woman of the Hour (2024)Dating Game - major source of 70's creeps.
THE BODY SHOP a.k.a. DR. GORE (1972) Did this movie just invent Jiffy Pop?
Mirrors (2008)We've failed Paula Patton and Amy Smart
Race With The Devil (1975)Don’t steal reference books from the library.
Alien Romulus (2024) The android inexplicably has the MOST personality
All Hallows’ Eve (2013)Just like Clarabell, Art says “Goodbye, kids.”
In a Violent Nature (2024)Jason Voorhees, a day in the life.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) My hidden dream power is Larry Fishburne!
TERRIFIER 2 (2022)It’s funny, but not “ha ha” funny…
THE CONJURING 3: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (2021) You’d think their relationship would be stressful.
Ready or Not (2019)Chekhov's elephant gun leaves balls firmly blue.
Late Night With The Devil (dir. Cameron and Colin Cairnes 2023)Ever wonder if demons thought about exfoliating?
The Devil's Rejects (2005)Otis grew a beard, literal and trope
Silver Bullet (1985)Was it good? The eyes have it
The Bat (1959)Bat man bats man throws bats, man
A Bucket of Blood (1959)What's more confusing the title or poster?
Carved(2024 Dir Justin Harding)Linus was lucky the Great Pumpkin no-showed
Carved (2024)Barely a movie but has some charm.
André Øvredal's THE LAST VOYAGE OF THE DEMETER (2023, SHOWTIME).
ReplyDeleteBest part: Liam Cunningham's 'Captain's Log' narration.
OR
Love dogs? Children? STAY AWAY FROM THIS!
OR
Predictable supernatural slasher that's classy as f%#*.
Rick Rosenthal's HALLOWEEN II (1981, SCREAM! FACTORY 4K UHD).
ReplyDeleteBaby mob took 40 years to de-evolve.
OR
Ben Tramer's combustible personality got him "fired."
OR
Michael Myers, greatest slasher... of hospital tires.
Osgood Perkins' LONGLEGS (2024, 4K UHD). First time seeing movie in 4K.
ReplyDeleteNic Cage simultaneously ruins/lifts dodgy narrative.
OR
Imagine Clarice Sterling letting Catherine Martin die.
OR
Scariest tune: "Price Is Right" theme song.
Smile 2, Parker Finn, 2024
ReplyDeleteSponsored by downing many bottles of Voss
George A. Romero's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968, CRITERION 4K UHD).
ReplyDeleteBarbara, catatonic blueprint for zombie apocalypse Karens.
OR
Anticipating ending better than the actual ending.
Needful Things Extended Edition (1993 Dir. Fraser Clarke Heston)
ReplyDeleteHenceforth known as the Lisa Blount edition
Sometimes longer is better. Like this time.
DeleteBad Moon (1996)
ReplyDeleteNow wishing ‘Homeward Bound’ had more werewolves
Road Games
ReplyDelete{tune} "I met a killer Down Underrrrrrr"
Terrifier (2016)
ReplyDeleteWhat if Freddy Krueger was a mime?
IT'S WHAT'S INSIDE (2024, Dir. Greg Jardin)
ReplyDeletePoint is, we're all interchangeable, insufferable dickbags.
Seven (1995)
ReplyDeleteJohn Doe would be true crime darling.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBilly the Kid and the Green Blaze Vampire (1985) dir. Alan Clarke
ReplyDeleteExtremely esoteric. Artistically ambitious. Bored beyond belief.
The Lords of Salem (2012)
ReplyDeleteSherri Moon moons Man in the Moon
Hush. (2016 dir. Mike Flanagan)
ReplyDeleteTo do list: move breaker box inside.
The relic (1997)
ReplyDeleteThe audiobook was brighter than the film.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteUnder The Skin (2013, Jonathon Glazer)
ReplyDeleteAdam Pearson debut overshadowed by nude Johansson
Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)
ReplyDeleteThe Bad Seed meets Wolf Girl, Interrupted
Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)
ReplyDeleteWaiting for someone to Lover's Vow me
Ghost Ship (2002)
ReplyDeleteIt's The Shining but on a boat?
Uzumaki (2000)
ReplyDeleteIt's Japanese, you have to watch backwards
You're Next (2011, dir. Adam Wingard)
ReplyDeleteI found the magic: it's Barbara Crampton.
The Substance (2024, dir. Coralie Fargeat)
Everyone should worship Moore. She's a Demi-god.
Woman of the Hour (2024)
ReplyDeleteListen to women. Listen to women. Listentowomen.
Woman of the Hour (2024)
ReplyDeleteDating Game - major source of 70's creeps.
THE BODY SHOP a.k.a. DR. GORE (1972)
ReplyDeleteDid this movie just invent Jiffy Pop?
Mirrors (2008)
ReplyDeleteWe've failed Paula Patton and Amy Smart
Race With The Devil (1975)
ReplyDeleteDon’t steal reference books from the library.
Alien Romulus (2024)
ReplyDeleteThe android inexplicably has the MOST personality
All Hallows’ Eve (2013)
ReplyDeleteJust like Clarabell, Art says “Goodbye, kids.”
In a Violent Nature (2024)
ReplyDeleteJason Voorhees, a day in the life.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) My hidden dream power is Larry Fishburne!
ReplyDeleteTERRIFIER 2 (2022)
ReplyDeleteIt’s funny, but not “ha ha” funny…
THE CONJURING 3: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT (2021)
ReplyDeleteYou’d think their relationship would be stressful.
Ready or Not (2019)
ReplyDeleteChekhov's elephant gun leaves balls firmly blue.
Late Night With The Devil (dir. Cameron and Colin Cairnes 2023)
ReplyDeleteEver wonder if demons thought about exfoliating?
The Devil's Rejects (2005)
ReplyDeleteOtis grew a beard, literal and trope
Silver Bullet (1985)
ReplyDeleteWas it good? The eyes have it
The Bat (1959)
ReplyDeleteBat man bats man throws bats, man
A Bucket of Blood (1959)
ReplyDeleteWhat's more confusing the title or poster?
Carved(2024 Dir Justin Harding)
ReplyDeleteLinus was lucky the Great Pumpkin no-showed
Carved (2024)
ReplyDeleteBarely a movie but has some charm.