Monday, December 9, 2024

The 2024 Binness Awards

by Adam Riske
What award did your favorite movies get this year?


Attaboy: Juror #2

Best Crypt Keeper Haircut: Ed Harris, Love Lies Bleeding

Best Duo in a Great Movie: Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley, The Substance

Best Restaurant Documentary: Casa Bonita Mi Amor!

Best Soundtrack: Smile 2 

Best Trio in a Good Movie: Zendaya, Mike Faist, and Josh O’Conner, Challengers

Better Than I Expected: My Old Ass

Biggest Disappointment: Maxxxine

Boo Hoo: MoviePass, MovieCrash
Did I Hallucinate It? Road House (2024) 

Dumbest Shit Ever: The 4:30 Movie

Enough Already: Bad Boys: Ride or Die

Fun: Trap

Good But Now Possibly Unwatchable Because of World Events: Civil War

Good Drama, Bad Horror Movie: A Quiet Place: Day One

Good Movie I Have Zero Enthusiasm For & Will Check Out Completely If You Bring It Up: Dune: Part Two

“Heartbreak Feels Good in A Place Like This”: Here 

Hidden Gem: The Last Stop in Yuma County

Horniest: Drive-Away Dolls
I Didn’t Hate It: Abigail 

I Dunno…Recommended? Heretic

I Hate It: I Used to Be Funny

I Liked Some of It: The First Omen

I’m The Only Person Who Saw: Here Comes a New Challenger

Interesting: A Real Pain

“It Insists Upon Itself”: The Fall Guy

It’s Alight: Late Night with the Devil

It’s Fine: Enter the Clones of Bruce 

Least Intimidating Villain: Longlegs 
Like a Movie from 1989: Horizon: An American Saga - Chapter 1

Like a Movie from 1993: The Bikeriders

Like a Movie from 2009: Immaculate

Like Eating at Applebee’s when you Wanted to Eat at Chili’s: Twisters

Like Going Spirit Halloween Wanting to Buy Something but Finding Nothing You Want: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Made Me Want Cash for Hanukkah: Anora

Most Annoying: Deadpool & Wolverine

Most Charming: Hit Man

Most Clamoring for an MTV Movie Award Nomination for Best Villain: Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

Most Directed: Strange Darling 

Most Underseen: I Like Movies

Most Walmart $5 Bin: Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

Movie I Like Less than Everyone Else: Snack Shack

Movie I Like More than Everyone Else: Kinds of Kindness

Movie I Want to Erase from My Memory: I.S.S. 

Not as Good as Speed Kills: Cash Out

Not Terrible: Alien: Romulus

Pretty Good: I Saw the TV Glow

Pretty Indifferent: Terrifier 3
So Bad It Should Be Against the Law: The Idea of You

Sweetest: Inside Out 2

Ugh: The Beekeeper

Wait, That Was This Year? Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes

We All Have Problems, Bud: Brats

Whatever: Saturday Night 

Worst Movie: Trigger Warning

WTF: The Crow (2024)

Yeah, No, I Dunno, It’s Good I Guess: The Greatest Night in Pop

You Can Stop at Any Time Now: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire 

3 comments:

  1. The Idea of You was bad, huh? It's not the kind of movie I'd watch, good or bad, but somehow I'm bummed. I always thought Nicholas Galitzine had something special.

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  2. 1) i LOVE this list.

    2) i was going to post a review of Brats on the weekend thread but was out of town. my review was going to be something along the line of "feels more like a bit of self-reflective look at a situation by McCarthy that left him feeling pigeonholed. maybe true/maybe not but the doc doesnt really do more than check in with several stars and have them do a little small talk catchup and reflection on a nickname." I think your comment summarizes that nicely!

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  3. I just rewatched Civil War and I didn’t think of it as an America-in-2028 movie. This time around it was more of a passing of the torch movie that just happened to be set in America in 2028. A definite top ten for me. I feel like Dunst will be the least talked about snub durning awards season.
    I hate that I have to agree with you about the 4:30 Movie.
    And for me the biggest disappointment was Dune part two because it’s a great book and it had all the right ingredients but it just didn’t… Adam? … Adam? … oh, yeah.

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