THE NO MERCY MAN, aka TRAINED TO KILL: USA (1973, TUBI) THE GODSEND (1980, KINO BLU-RAY) DETECTIVE SCHOOL DROPOUTS (1986, YOUTUBE)
Set in a small Southwestern town overrun by undesirables working for a traveling carnival, "The No Mercy Man" refers to Vietnam veteran Olie Hand (Steve Sandor, who looks like Roger Moore and Elvis Presley mated and the baby was hit with an ugly stick) returning home to find his father's ranch and the locals' businesses under constant harassment. Rather than act heroic and live up to his military badass reputation, Ollie retreats to drinking in his dad's garage to make him forget the war atrocities he committed. Our hero's refusal to heed the call to action is so extreme that his mother/girlfriend/sister are r@ped and his disapproving father (Richard X. Slattery) nearly beaten to death before he finally goes berserk for the final 5 minutes of a 90 min. feature. At least the locals and Ollie's military buddies (who don't suffer the same PTSD as their troop leader) put up a good fight when the undesirables break into the bank to steal money, but they're ultimately wiped out by leader Prophet (Rockne Tarkington) and his motivated-to-harm-white-people baddies. As revenge or 'vetsploitation' options go, you can do a lot better. 2.15 SHELL GAS STATIONS W/O CREDIT CARD SUPPORT (out of five).
The first Cannon movie released in the decade that defined the company's legacy (1/11/80), "The Godsend" is a British horror film that emphasizes "The Omen"-derived tension and creepy vibes over graphic violence. Loving professional couple Alan (Malcolm Stoddard) and Kate (Cyd Hayman) end up adopting a little girl they name Bonnie after a pregnant woman (Angela Pleasence, who looks nothing like her father Donald) gave birth to her in the rural home where the couple are raising their four children before disappearing. One by one the Marlowe kids die under weird circumstances, and it's only late in the narrative that Alan catches on that Bonnie night have something to do with her siblings' deaths. My guess is that if you're a parent the idea of a feature where children die at the hands of another child is repugnant, but you'd be surprised how much "TG" tries to be classy about its difficult subject matter. The gradual destruction of the once-loving couple the story starts with is a potent arc that ends the movie on a difficult but dramatically strong note. 3.65 PERPENDICULAR SWING SETS (out of five).
Though many of Cannon's titles deliver unintentional humor (the Giggler in "Death Wish 3," Chuck Norris' rocket-launching bike in "The Delta Force," the stunt granny in "Revenge of the Ninja," etc.) the company rarely dabbled into actual comedies. Starring David Landsberg and Lorin Dreyfuss (Richard's older brother) as bumbling would-be private detectives dragged into a gang war in Italy to stop a wedding between mafia family heirs (including Valeria Golino in an early role), "Detective School Dropouts" pushes its slapstick buttons so often and hard it borders on farce. Mixing a crew of Italian (director Filippo Ottoni, cinematographer Giancarlo Ferrando, George Eastman in a prominent role) and American filmmakers (composer George S. Clinton, Landsberg/Dreyfuss as writers), there is no situation too outrageous for these two idiots to not insert a pratfall or lame one-liner. Gotta be honest, as many times as the comedy floundered (at least half the gags/jokes fell flat) there are some gut-busting moments (a Ferrari speeding so fast it makes fat ladies fall back and roll down a hill) if you're the type that can appreciate low-brow Italian sense of humor. That some of these silly antics happen in now-restricted areas (a race to avoid the cops on the actual Leaning Tower of Pisa! :-O) is gravy atop a too-sugary cake of '80's silly puddy. YMMV. 3.5 "NINJA III: DOMINATION" PRINTS AS IN-FLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT (out of five).
Must have been a very forgiving crowd. The baddies are menacing but there's no good guy to confront or stand-up to them for most of the movie. Other than his Hulk-out near the end and the time he fought with members of his unit (the only moment his father looked proud of him) Olie is useless as the hero. 🤨😬
The song & the fact that almost no one had even heard of it helped make things better. A crowd of people psychically transforming something mediocre into something better is always a thing, for good or ill...
Miami teenager Al Haddin finds an ancient lamp and releases a wish-granting Genie. A few ostentatious wishes later, they both start attracting attention from the police, mobsters and child kidnappers.
The plot is a confusing mess (the genie's powers are very nebulous and confusing, the kid has unlimited wishes but uses them sparingly, a child kidnapping ring comes out of nowhere halfway through the movie, the chief of Miami police has his own private army located in Canada - seriously, that's a plot point), and Bud Spencer, who I usually really like, seems pretty checked out. The theme song was my favorite part of the movie.
Hadn't seen this since i was a kid. Didnt really connect with it. Its a well made 80s "USA vs terrorist" movie but it feels like two movies. For 90m its a serious toned hijacking movie with references to middle east conflict as well as Nazi actions from WW2. Then the final 30m is a couple big set piece action scenes that feel like a theme part stunt spectacular. The silly highlight being Chuck Norris driving a dirt bike armed with rockets and machine guns through massive groups of machine gun armed terrorists and never getting a scratch. Also, cant not point out that casting this was...a choice?.....(#the-80s)...
Robert Forster as Abdul Rafai, the leader of the terrorist group.
Michael Dudikoff and Steve James take on a cult that hunts humans for sport in New Orleans (hmm... sounds familiar...). I enjoyed this very goofy and entertaining movie enough. The duo of Dudikoff and James is excellent, their chemistry is real and they are fun to watch together. Unfortunately Steve James is only in the first half and Dudikoff can't quite carry the rest without him.
RUNAWAY TRAIN (1985) This is one of the more prestige-y Cannon films, racking up a few Oscar noms. It starts as a prison movie, with convicts plotting an improbable escape, not becoming a train-based disaster movie until the second half. A whole bunch of familiar character actors show up, and big props to composer Trevor Jones for his absolutely kickin’ 80s score. I’m impressed with how the movie knows when to be rough and gritty, and when it knows to lighten up and be goofy – and these shifts in tone never feel jarring. I see online that this movie originated as a project for Kurosawa to direct! I liked the movie, but I wonder what might have been.
30 days of Georges Melies, day 28: PILLAR OF FIRE (1899) Our old pal Satan summons a woman from his magical well. She seems angelic at first, but then she turns fiery. It’s a nice little 90-second piece of dance and stagecraft. The commenters are trying to convince me that this is somehow an adaptation of the H. Rider Haggard novel SHE. No Sandahl Bergman in this one, though.
However, there is this film, which was directed and produced by Menahem Golan for American-International Pictures. Well, it was co-directed, as it’s said that Raphael Nussbaum assisted. You may know him from 1973’s Pets or the Frank Stallone movie Death Blow for Justice, AKA W.A.R.: Women Against Rape.
Starring Audie Murphy in his first non-Western since 1958, this has him playing Mike Merrick, a spy sent to Egypt to stop German scientist Professor Schlieben (George Sanders), who is developing a rocket that can be shot into the United States. Then, Muslims attack, wanting to destroy the rocket on their own and kill the American. So he runs, taking the scientist’s daughter (Marianne Koch, The Unnaturals) and tries to escape.
Written by Marc Bohm (who would also write X-Ray for Cannon) and Alexander Ramati (whose The Assisi Underground was a Cannon movie, too), this almost starred Stephen Boyd and Senta Berger.
Audie Murphy may have been a war hero, but he’s no James Bond. Also, there is so much day for night and night for day.
For an early 1980s sex comedy this was pretty progressive, especially by Cannon standards. Even though the "peeping Tom" sequence has its cake and eats it too, it refreshing that the Peepie gets ridiculed, especially when it's known real life moster Brian Peck.
The ending, as many have pointed out, elevates this leaps and bounds past the traditional bewb comedy. Diane Franklin's final look is a gut punch.
Like an episode from the final season of Happy Days that goes on forever and the only reason you continue watching it is because there’s boobs every five minutes and even that eventually gets boring too.
AMERICAN SAMURAI (1992, Sam Firstenberg) First-time watch, Warner Bros DVD in glorious 1.33, 6/10. Raised in the mountains of Japan in the samurai way by John Fujioka, David Bradley is loathed by his stepbrother, Mark Dacascos. Dacascos goes yakuza & years later Bradley is lured to Turkey where men fight to the death in an unassuming warehouse. Who will survive & what will be left of them? The moral might be, if you've got the sensitive eyes that Bradley has, use them. Another moral might be to never discount a hairpin relationship turn after companion Valarie Trapp is stuck with the most irritating "will-they/won't-they just shut up" introductory interactions with "our hero". Fortunately, the villain is full Dark Dacascos, with the screen presence of a deadly feline. Mediocre but entertaining diversion for Bradley between AMERICAN NINJA 4 & 5.
I watched Breakin’ for Cannon day a few years back. Today I’m back to bust out some fresh moves and finish the job. The sequel, released mere months after the original, offers more of the same, but MORE. More dancing, more silliness, more plot, more unbelievable outfits. You’re not gonna believe this, but this time around the gang needs to save their community center from getting torn down and turned into, wait for it, a shopping mall. There’s disapproving parents, callous businessmen, career opportunities in Paris, Kelly’s snotty ex-boyfriend, Ozone’s jealous ex-girlfriend, a new girl for Turbo to pine for, a rival dancing gang, and all the 80s-style hip vs. square drama you can dream of.
Lifeforce (1985) A crazily ambitious kitchen sink mash-up of so many sci-fi and horror elements. The movie starts as deliberate space exploration a la Alien, shifts to a more classical British Hammer-y version of Species complete with a smokin' hot wandering killer naked alien lady, then pivots to body-hopping horror (think Invasion of the Body Snatchers crossed with Jason Goes to Hell) with an investigative track-'em-down chase guided by the psychic visions of a returned astronaut from the original space mission who's become psychosexually linked to the sexy alien monster lady. Then the story returns to Hammer horror (stab 'em with an ancient leaded iron sword two inches below the heart!) before becoming a zombie apocalypse mixed with a looming giant spacecraft sucking up soul energy. And oh yeah, the monsters are space vampires (which you know from the get-go). Regardless of how well the movie ultimately works for you, you've got to admire the sheer scope of its genre elements.
Watching Lifeforce felt a little like trying to hang onto the roof a speeding car, and your opinion of its effectiveness probably comes down to how well you feel like you can keep your balance throughout all those gear shifts and wild twists and turns of genre. I felt pretty steady through the first few of those shifts, started slipping back and forth around the halfway point, was almost thrown loose in the third act, and felt like I was dangling from a side mirror by the end. Although I thought the movie got a bit messy toward the end, with some slightly rushed psychic and exposition-heavy shortcuts to keep the plot moving, I was frequently entertained (and never bored) by the ride.
The production design of Lifeforce is pretty impressive, with a lot of great practical effects (the blood draining from the faces to briefly form a scary blood lady was my highlight). I was also tickled by the similarity of the main title theme to the NFL Films music (specifically "The Equalizer"). I kept expecting to see Walter Payton come sprinting into view alongside the spaceship.
This movie is Dudikoff-tastic! No one in it behaves the way a real person would. I'm fairly certain that, in every instance, the group with machine guns loses every skirmish to the group using knives or their bare hands. Michael Dudikoff has the weakest salute I've ever seen from someone playing a soldier. But, Steve James is great in it (as always), and the movie is pretty awesome. If this popped up on TV some weekend, you would blow off whatever you needed to do and sit down to watch the rest of it.
'FORGOTTEN CANNON' TRIPLETS!
ReplyDeleteTHE NO MERCY MAN, aka TRAINED TO KILL: USA (1973, TUBI)
THE GODSEND (1980, KINO BLU-RAY)
DETECTIVE SCHOOL DROPOUTS (1986, YOUTUBE)
Set in a small Southwestern town overrun by undesirables working for a traveling carnival, "The No Mercy Man" refers to Vietnam veteran Olie Hand (Steve Sandor, who looks like Roger Moore and Elvis Presley mated and the baby was hit with an ugly stick) returning home to find his father's ranch and the locals' businesses under constant harassment. Rather than act heroic and live up to his military badass reputation, Ollie retreats to drinking in his dad's garage to make him forget the war atrocities he committed. Our hero's refusal to heed the call to action is so extreme that his mother/girlfriend/sister are r@ped and his disapproving father (Richard X. Slattery) nearly beaten to death before he finally goes berserk for the final 5 minutes of a 90 min. feature. At least the locals and Ollie's military buddies (who don't suffer the same PTSD as their troop leader) put up a good fight when the undesirables break into the bank to steal money, but they're ultimately wiped out by leader Prophet (Rockne Tarkington) and his motivated-to-harm-white-people baddies. As revenge or 'vetsploitation' options go, you can do a lot better. 2.15 SHELL GAS STATIONS W/O CREDIT CARD SUPPORT (out of five).
The first Cannon movie released in the decade that defined the company's legacy (1/11/80), "The Godsend" is a British horror film that emphasizes "The Omen"-derived tension and creepy vibes over graphic violence. Loving professional couple Alan (Malcolm Stoddard) and Kate (Cyd Hayman) end up adopting a little girl they name Bonnie after a pregnant woman (Angela Pleasence, who looks nothing like her father Donald) gave birth to her in the rural home where the couple are raising their four children before disappearing. One by one the Marlowe kids die under weird circumstances, and it's only late in the narrative that Alan catches on that Bonnie night have something to do with her siblings' deaths. My guess is that if you're a parent the idea of a feature where children die at the hands of another child is repugnant, but you'd be surprised how much "TG" tries to be classy about its difficult subject matter. The gradual destruction of the once-loving couple the story starts with is a potent arc that ends the movie on a difficult but dramatically strong note. 3.65 PERPENDICULAR SWING SETS (out of five).
Though many of Cannon's titles deliver unintentional humor (the Giggler in "Death Wish 3," Chuck Norris' rocket-launching bike in "The Delta Force," the stunt granny in "Revenge of the Ninja," etc.) the company rarely dabbled into actual comedies. Starring David Landsberg and Lorin Dreyfuss (Richard's older brother) as bumbling would-be private detectives dragged into a gang war in Italy to stop a wedding between mafia family heirs (including Valeria Golino in an early role), "Detective School Dropouts" pushes its slapstick buttons so often and hard it borders on farce. Mixing a crew of Italian (director Filippo Ottoni, cinematographer Giancarlo Ferrando, George Eastman in a prominent role) and American filmmakers (composer George S. Clinton, Landsberg/Dreyfuss as writers), there is no situation too outrageous for these two idiots to not insert a pratfall or lame one-liner. Gotta be honest, as many times as the comedy floundered (at least half the gags/jokes fell flat) there are some gut-busting moments (a Ferrari speeding so fast it makes fat ladies fall back and roll down a hill) if you're the type that can appreciate low-brow Italian sense of humor. That some of these silly antics happen in now-restricted areas (a race to avoid the cops on the actual Leaning Tower of Pisa! :-O) is gravy atop a too-sugary cake of '80's silly puddy. YMMV. 3.5 "NINJA III: DOMINATION" PRINTS AS IN-FLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT (out of five).
I saw NO MERCY MAN is part of a 12hr exploitation line-up on 35mm, no titles announced. It definitely plays better with a crowd.
DeleteMust have been a very forgiving crowd. The baddies are menacing but there's no good guy to confront or stand-up to them for most of the movie. Other than his Hulk-out near the end and the time he fought with members of his unit (the only moment his father looked proud of him) Olie is useless as the hero. 🤨😬
DeleteThe song & the fact that almost no one had even heard of it helped make things better. A crowd of people psychically transforming something mediocre into something better is always a thing, for good or ill...
DeleteAladdin (1986, dir. Bruno Corbucci)
ReplyDeleteMiami teenager Al Haddin finds an ancient lamp and releases a wish-granting Genie. A few ostentatious wishes later, they both start attracting attention from the police, mobsters and child kidnappers.
The plot is a confusing mess (the genie's powers are very nebulous and confusing, the kid has unlimited wishes but uses them sparingly, a child kidnapping ring comes out of nowhere halfway through the movie, the chief of Miami police has his own private army located in Canada - seriously, that's a plot point), and Bud Spencer, who I usually really like, seems pretty checked out. The theme song was my favorite part of the movie.
The Delta Force (1985)
ReplyDeleteHadn't seen this since i was a kid. Didnt really connect with it. Its a well made 80s "USA vs terrorist" movie but it feels like two movies. For 90m its a serious toned hijacking movie with references to middle east conflict as well as Nazi actions from WW2. Then the final 30m is a couple big set piece action scenes that feel like a theme part stunt spectacular. The silly highlight being Chuck Norris driving a dirt bike armed with rockets and machine guns through massive groups of machine gun armed terrorists and never getting a scratch. Also, cant not point out that casting this was...a choice?.....(#the-80s)...
Robert Forster as Abdul Rafai, the leader of the terrorist group.
Do we agree that Alan Silvestri's theme song for "The Delta Force" rules and made the hair in your chest grow several inches in length? 😵🥵😅
DeleteAvenging Force (1986, dir. Sam Firstenberg)
ReplyDeleteMichael Dudikoff and Steve James take on a cult that hunts humans for sport in New Orleans (hmm... sounds familiar...). I enjoyed this very goofy and entertaining movie enough. The duo of Dudikoff and James is excellent, their chemistry is real and they are fun to watch together. Unfortunately Steve James is only in the first half and Dudikoff can't quite carry the rest without him.
RUNAWAY TRAIN (1985)
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the more prestige-y Cannon films, racking up a few Oscar noms. It starts as a prison movie, with convicts plotting an improbable escape, not becoming a train-based disaster movie until the second half. A whole bunch of familiar character actors show up, and big props to composer Trevor Jones for his absolutely kickin’ 80s score. I’m impressed with how the movie knows when to be rough and gritty, and when it knows to lighten up and be goofy – and these shifts in tone never feel jarring. I see online that this movie originated as a project for Kurosawa to direct! I liked the movie, but I wonder what might have been.
30 days of Georges Melies, day 28: PILLAR OF FIRE (1899)
Our old pal Satan summons a woman from his magical well. She seems angelic at first, but then she turns fiery. It’s a nice little 90-second piece of dance and stagecraft. The commenters are trying to convince me that this is somehow an adaptation of the H. Rider Haggard novel SHE. No Sandahl Bergman in this one, though.
Trunk to Cairo (1966)
ReplyDeleteI’ve watched 162/162 of all Cannon films — Golan and Globus era — as well as 56/56 of the Dewey/Friedland years, 106/246 of the Cannon Home Video releases, 6 out of the 12 movies Golan and Globus did before Cannon, 39 of the 39 movies that Golan made as 21st Century after Cannon, 111 of the 127 21st Century films under Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer version, 31 of the 69 Cannon theatrical releases they didn’t produce, all 8 of the Golan/Globus 1970s films, all 35 of the Assonitis-Globus-Pearce Cannon films and 2 of the 20 Pathé — Cannon’s sister company — releases, as well as 3 of the 23 movies Pathé released as Cannon and 22 of the 68 Pathé Cannon video releases.
There aren’t many Cannon movies left for me.
However, there is this film, which was directed and produced by Menahem Golan for American-International Pictures. Well, it was co-directed, as it’s said that Raphael Nussbaum assisted. You may know him from 1973’s Pets or the Frank Stallone movie Death Blow for Justice, AKA W.A.R.: Women Against Rape.
Starring Audie Murphy in his first non-Western since 1958, this has him playing Mike Merrick, a spy sent to Egypt to stop German scientist Professor Schlieben (George Sanders), who is developing a rocket that can be shot into the United States. Then, Muslims attack, wanting to destroy the rocket on their own and kill the American. So he runs, taking the scientist’s daughter (Marianne Koch, The Unnaturals) and tries to escape.
Written by Marc Bohm (who would also write X-Ray for Cannon) and Alexander Ramati (whose The Assisi Underground was a Cannon movie, too), this almost starred Stephen Boyd and Senta Berger.
Audie Murphy may have been a war hero, but he’s no James Bond. Also, there is so much day for night and night for day.
The Last American Virgin (1982)
ReplyDeleteDir. Boaz Davidson
For an early 1980s sex comedy this was pretty progressive, especially by Cannon standards. Even though the "peeping Tom" sequence has its cake and eats it too, it refreshing that the Peepie gets ridiculed, especially when it's known real life moster Brian Peck.
The ending, as many have pointed out, elevates this leaps and bounds past the traditional bewb comedy. Diane Franklin's final look is a gut punch.
GAS PUMP GIRLS (1979)
ReplyDeletedir. Joel Bender
Like an episode from the final season of Happy Days that goes on forever and the only reason you continue watching it is because there’s boobs every five minutes and even that eventually gets boring too.
AMERICAN SAMURAI (1992, Sam Firstenberg)
ReplyDeleteFirst-time watch, Warner Bros DVD in glorious 1.33, 6/10.
Raised in the mountains of Japan in the samurai way by John Fujioka, David Bradley is loathed by his stepbrother, Mark Dacascos. Dacascos goes yakuza & years later Bradley is lured to Turkey where men fight to the death in an unassuming warehouse. Who will survive & what will be left of them? The moral might be, if you've got the sensitive eyes that Bradley has, use them. Another moral might be to never discount a hairpin relationship turn after companion Valarie Trapp is stuck with the most irritating "will-they/won't-they just shut up" introductory interactions with "our hero". Fortunately, the villain is full Dark Dacascos, with the screen presence of a deadly feline. Mediocre but entertaining diversion for Bradley between AMERICAN NINJA 4 & 5.
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984)
ReplyDeleteI watched Breakin’ for Cannon day a few years back. Today I’m back to bust out some fresh moves and finish the job.
The sequel, released mere months after the original, offers more of the same, but MORE. More dancing, more silliness, more plot, more unbelievable outfits. You’re not gonna believe this, but this time around the gang needs to save their community center from getting torn down and turned into, wait for it, a shopping mall. There’s disapproving parents, callous businessmen, career opportunities in Paris, Kelly’s snotty ex-boyfriend, Ozone’s jealous ex-girlfriend, a new girl for Turbo to pine for, a rival dancing gang, and all the 80s-style hip vs. square drama you can dream of.
Lifeforce (1985)
ReplyDeleteA crazily ambitious kitchen sink mash-up of so many sci-fi and horror elements. The movie starts as deliberate space exploration a la Alien, shifts to a more classical British Hammer-y version of Species complete with a smokin' hot wandering killer naked alien lady, then pivots to body-hopping horror (think Invasion of the Body Snatchers crossed with Jason Goes to Hell) with an investigative track-'em-down chase guided by the psychic visions of a returned astronaut from the original space mission who's become psychosexually linked to the sexy alien monster lady. Then the story returns to Hammer horror (stab 'em with an ancient leaded iron sword two inches below the heart!) before becoming a zombie apocalypse mixed with a looming giant spacecraft sucking up soul energy. And oh yeah, the monsters are space vampires (which you know from the get-go). Regardless of how well the movie ultimately works for you, you've got to admire the sheer scope of its genre elements.
Watching Lifeforce felt a little like trying to hang onto the roof a speeding car, and your opinion of its effectiveness probably comes down to how well you feel like you can keep your balance throughout all those gear shifts and wild twists and turns of genre. I felt pretty steady through the first few of those shifts, started slipping back and forth around the halfway point, was almost thrown loose in the third act, and felt like I was dangling from a side mirror by the end. Although I thought the movie got a bit messy toward the end, with some slightly rushed psychic and exposition-heavy shortcuts to keep the plot moving, I was frequently entertained (and never bored) by the ride.
The production design of Lifeforce is pretty impressive, with a lot of great practical effects (the blood draining from the faces to briefly form a scary blood lady was my highlight). I was also tickled by the similarity of the main title theme to the NFL Films music (specifically "The Equalizer"). I kept expecting to see Walter Payton come sprinting into view alongside the spaceship.
American Ninja (1985)
ReplyDeleteThis movie is Dudikoff-tastic! No one in it behaves the way a real person would. I'm fairly certain that, in every instance, the group with machine guns loses every skirmish to the group using knives or their bare hands. Michael Dudikoff has the weakest salute I've ever seen from someone playing a soldier. But, Steve James is great in it (as always), and the movie is pretty awesome. If this popped up on TV some weekend, you would blow off whatever you needed to do and sit down to watch the rest of it.