"Under Fire" made me cry by taking me back to my childhood. I grew up in El Salvador during the start of its bloody civil war (1979-1992) that ended with over 50,000 Salvadorean's murdered and a sizable percentage of the population immigrating overseas, myself included. I had school buddies (two brothers) that were shot dead by death squads. My mother's fiancé, a lawyer, was gunned down the night before they publicly announced their engagement (R.I.P. Tony). If it wasn't for this civil war I wouldn't have left my homeland literally running away from bullets and RPG's, grabbing one of the last planes to leave during the offensive of Nov. '89. Time has made it clear I ended up having a better life here in the States than I would have had if I stayed (I wouldn't be on this website reviewing "UF" in English), which doesn't change the fact my mother died in 2017 (natural causes) having spent 28 years apart from me... many of those years much sooner than both of us anticipated or wanted. :'(
Anywho, despite being set during the fall of Nicaragua in 1979 the war atrocities depicted in "UF" spread over into nearby Central American countries and are almost identical to what we went through in E.S. See Oliver Stone's "Salvador" (1986) for the bloody detailed version. Despite following the dramatic structure of trying-to-be-objective international journalists observing an armed conflict with a detached perspective (as seen during last year's "Civil War" in the newest third-world nation on Earth, U.S.A. :-( ) director Roger Spottiswoode and co-screenwriter Ron Shelton make sure the local Nicaraguan citizens are properly represented and aren't just background window dressing (a rarity for this dramatic sub-genre). It's infrequent, but when war scenes happen they're intense but not as graphic as in "The Killing Fields." Gene Hackman's glorified supporting role is a meaty one, but Nick Nolte (playing against type as a weakling), Joanna Cassidy, Ed Harris and Holly Palance acquit themselves as international folks moved to their core by the plight of this particular group of brown people. 4 INEFFECTIVELY WAVED WHITE FLAGS (out of five).
Four years later another director named Roger (Donaldson) gave Hackman another meaty supporting role in his cold way/military thriller "No Way Out." I knew from pop culture parodies that Kevin Costner and Sean Young hooked-up in the back of a limo, and that Secretary of Defense Brice (Hackman, who starts strong before looking vulnerable) would use Costner's naval intelligence skills to lead a search for the unknown man that killed Susan Atwell (Young) as a cover for Brice's own crime. What I wasn't prepared for was Will Patton (as Brice's right-hand man) dominating every scene he shares with Gene, Kevin and every other acting heavyweight (George Dzundza, Fred Thompson, Howard Duff, Iman, etc.) like a boss. Seriously, if you haven't seen "NON" seek it just to see Patton walk away with a still-going-strong career. Did not see THAT ending coming, which on hindsight seems obvious but back in '87 was the Shyamalan 'what a twist!' of its day. Great movie. 4.5 SOUND-PROOF EMPTY PENTAGON GYMS (out of five).
'THE PACKAGE (1989, KINO BLU-RAY). Streaming on Netflix.
The first of director Andrew Davis' three collaborations with Tommy Lee Jones (and a dress-rehearsal for "The Fugitive" four years later, right down to the same Chicago locations/actors in slightly different roles), "The Package" finds TLJ as the on-the-run fugitive being chased by military man Gene Hackman (with ex-wife Joanna Cassidy tagging along) trying to prevent the former from an assassination attempt on either a bad George Bush-lookalike or an excellent Mikhail Gorbachev impersonator. :-P As in "NON" we're in military action/cold war thriller territory but with enough conspiracy theory fuel to give the shootouts/car chases a sense of paranoia/urgency. Dennis Franz's Chicago PD role (same year "Hill Street Blues" was cancelled) was a pleasant surprise. 4 COOKIES & MILK LAST MEALS (out of five).
I cant put my finger on it but this flick feels sort of one-of-a-kind even thou its one of many many "dude joins top secret organization to do good". Maybe its that Fred Ward feels so everyman? Not sure. Anyhoo a fun revisit of this silly 80s actioner thats got a lot of "buddy cop" vibe within. Plus the Statue of Liberty set piece is an all timer!!
That was going to be my pick too, but then I happened to see a review that said it's got Joel Grey in yellowface, and I just didn't feel like dealing with that right now, so I picked a different movie.
@Mikko...i was actually going to comment about that...quite randomly its the 2nd day in a row i came across such a casting choice. i hadnt seen the movie since childhood and was reallllly caught off guard by that situation.
Spoilers ahead: An elite squad of American soldiers is sent on a secret mission in a Central American jungle. They destroy an enemy camp and rescue a captive woman, but soon realize there's a bigger threat: what they were really sent there to fight was a mysterious creature who has superior firepower, sees its surroundings via a pixelated heads-up-display, and only communicates through distorted recordings of human voices. The team keep firing their guns into the jungle at every sound they hear, but the enemy picks them off one by one, until it all comes down to a head-to-head confrontation between the creature and the squad leader, which ends with the creature triggering a self-destruct device, and the squad leader and the rescued woman are the only ones who escape the jungle. At the end, we get hero shots of all the actors before the credits roll. Sound familiar?
It's as blatant as blatant ripoffs go, they took Predator's script and changed a few small details, the main one being it's a government-built robot they're fighting instead of an alien. It's obviously also a lot cheaper-looking and doesn't have the star power (Reb Brown is no Arnold), but it's still surprisingly well-made, moves at a pace and has Italian hair metal on the soundtrack, so all in all not a bad time.
RUNNING ON EMPTY (aka Fast Lane Fever) (1982) dir. John Clark
Basic story. Incomprehensible Aussie accents. A wise and old blind master. But you really came for the street racing between the Fox-1 440-six pack 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T, a chopped ‘57 Chevy, and a (literally) flaming Aussie Phase III Ford Falcon GTHO.
The final race is cool but is pretty damn short. It goes out with a whimper rather than a bang.
The year is a futuristic 2008 where global warming has caused London to be partially underwater. Rutger Hauer is a cop (addicted to candy, chocolate, and cigars) tracking a serial killer who might also be a 10-foot tall monster and might also be Satan.
If that premise doesn't make you want to see this movie I can't help you.
I kind of fell behind with the busyness of life. But as Patrick said on a recent podcast, it's a marathon. And some people finish later than others, and I'm committed to finishing. I watched Wet Hot American Summer for Teenagers! and Riki-Oh. The Story of Ricky for Hong Kong Action! I have a bunch of missed days to fill. The way I see it, I just get to experience the joy of Junesploitation a little longer!
Diving into the seemingly inexhaustible well that is 1980s action cinema. When you think you have seen them all, another one pops up somewhere.
EYE OF THE TIGER (1986, dir. Richard Sarafian)
Brought to you from the director of Vanishing Point. Watching Eye of the Tiger, you would not guess there was a connection. This has a basic script with bad dialogue, flat acting, flat direction, and runs near two hours. When this began, I was convinced that I was going to hate the film. By the time the Survivor song “Eye of the Tiger” came on with the end credits, I had to give the film a little applause. There is so much ridiculousness and generic ‘80s action goodness that the film won me over. Though done on the cheap, the actions scenes work well. Everything kind of revenge action plot element is thrown into the mix. William Smith always played a good villain. I am sure the script for his part read: “Just scowl whenever the camera is on you.” Perhaps the biggest surprise of the month so far.
CERTAIN FURY (1985, dir. Stephan Gyllenhaal)
Certain Fury was not on my radar until I came across the film on Amazon Prime and put it in my watch list. When Patrick talked about it during a podcast, it moved up my list of candidates for Junesploitation. I almost watched it for New World Pictures day, but here it now is for ‘80s action. I found Certain Fury a curious mix of elements, some of which did not work for me. Of course, there is the action, which greatly surprised me how bloody it begins. That courtroom scene was done well. There is the drama, too. Tatum O’Neil and Irene Caras play off each other well, but I cannot say I completely bought into O’Neil’s toughness here. I believe it mainly was the random script that left me a little frustrated by the end. Overall, if you like very 1985 movies, Certain Fury should not disappoint. I liked a lot more of it than I disliked.
A fun fact: The director is the father of Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
I had no idea Ridley Scott directed this until I started watching. Michael Douglas does a nice job doing the "out of control cop" thing. I liked that when the characters wouldn't understand the Japanese being spoken, there were no subtitles on the screen (because the audience doesn't need to know either). The movie didn't feel very 1980's until the end when a character gives Michael Douglas a number of wrapped presents AT THE AIRPORT before he boards his plane, and then I thought, "Oh. Yeah. I guess that used to happen."
A Better Tomorrow (1986) It's fun to see Chow Yun Fat play a character who's a little looser, more impulsive, with more attitude. All the cop/criminal, brothers, friends, stuck on opposite sides stuff really worked for me. It's not quite the nonstop action onslaught of some other Woo movies, and I liked that the movie let the drama breathe a little more.
To Live and Die in L.A. I needed a Willem Dafoe palate cleanser after really not liking Speed 2 earlier this week. Rewatching this slick and dirty crime classic absolutely did the trick. Dafoe is a total maniac. Between this and Manhunter, it's kind of a shame William Petersen wasn't in five more "obsessed cop" movies.
TARZAN IN MANHATTAN (1989) Tarzan’s beloved chimp pal Cheetah is kidnapped and taken to New York City for animal experimentation, so Tarzan’s leaving the jungle for the urban jungle to rescue him. (Is this the first Tarzan movie where little Cheetah affects the plot?) Jane in this version is a NYC cab driver who teams up with Tarzan, becoming the Scully to his ape-Mulder. I daresay I actually liked this. It’s full of fun fish-out-of-water gags where Tarzan doesn’t know what to make of the modern world. As our hero, actor Joe Lara looks like he stepped off a romance novel cover, but he also understands the assignment and has fun with this. The movie’s dumb, but it left me with a smile on my face.
30 days of Georges Melies, day 29: THE HAUNTED CASTLE (1896) A wizard/vampire type of guy casts all sorts of magic spells, befuddling two men who visit his castle. Online commenters keeps calling this “the first horror film,” but I suspect that’s up for debate. It does remind me of the original Dracula, with a janky bat puppet, and three ghostly brides who show up. Young Tod Browning must have been a fan.
Mark, John, Jim, Jack, and Tom (if there’s one thing I love it’s creative character names) are a Taekwondo-practicing rock band who must stand up to a gang of ninjas on motorcycles under the command of a ruthless white ninja who wants to take over the drug trade in Miami. Cue multiple fight scenes, stage performances, and beach hangout scenes. There is stuff in here that has to be seen to be believed, because no amount of fancy talk can do it justice. True cult movie status cannot be achieved on purpose, only through that special combination of earnestness and incompetence, and Miami Connection has both in spades. This is Junesploitation at its Junesploitanionest.
Ninja III: The Domination 1984 Directed by Sam Firstenberg
A wild one... very 80s, very violent, very weird. The opening scene is amazing in which with no explanation, a man changes from a suit into ninja garb and goes on a killing spree at a golf course, and is unstoppable despite the cartoonish amount of lead pumped into him. The start is the strongest part of the movie, but there's still plenty to stay around for: spirit possession forcing murder sprees, seduction via pouring V8 on oneself, not enough James Hong, but lots of (daytime??) ninja action.
The Boxer’s Omen 1983 Directed by Kuei Chih-Hung
Wow I came across this just browsing what was available on Arrow Player… and boy was it on another level!
There are multiple visual onslaughts with insane arrays of fake creatures, fluids, mutilations, magic, dismemberments, decompositions, and so on. It's like they took a stack of gnarly giallos, stuck em in a blender, then distilled it to cask strength.
I suggest not reading more about it to just experience it, but I'll mention one fun bit where some fake spiders were drinking up a puddle of venom through little straws. Simultaneously menacing, cute, and laughable.
Years ago, Jack Maraccio (Anthony East) killed the parents of Mark Quinn (Rom Kristoff). Mark didn’t grow up to be Batman. No, he’s a cop and working with his partner Ty Jackson (Jim Moss), he’s keeping the Philippines safe.
Imagine if you took Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rocky and Cobra, threw them in a cup with raw eggs and drank it before running up some steps and blowing things up. That’s this movie, which has a cover that looks just like Marion Cobretti, which was totally an accident and no one meant for it to look that way. Nor did they intend for Jim Gaines’ pimp character named Sly to make you think of anyone else by that name. As for our hero, Kristoff never takes his glasses off, was raised by a ninja and is now a ninja himself, something Stallone never did.
This was directed and written by Teddy Page, who also made Fireback, Jungle Rats, Blazing Guns and so many more movies like this before using the name Teddy Chuck as a first assistant director for movies like The Love Nights of Anthony and Cleopatra (Hakkan Serbes is in that and if you got excited, you’re a pervert), Samson in the Amazon’s Land, Raiders, Sodoma & Gomorra and Showgirl. Yes, Joe D’Amato adult films. I would call that making it.
I have been on travel the last few days and am currently on a plane back to LA. I apologize for slacking off. Yesterday was a first time watch of Cyborg for me for Cannon. Today is Revenge of the Ninja from 1983. Also a first time watch. I am also almost almost done with some Indonesian 80s film called Action Virgin Force.
SOUTHERN COMFORT (1981, Walter Hill) Rewatch, first time on 4K from Vinegar Syndrome, still 10/10. I love this film. Infinitely drab, like the perfect summation of the uselessness that keeps this stolen canoe moving down river.
R.I.P. GENE HACKMAN (1930-2025)
ReplyDeleteUNDER FIRE (1983, ROKU CHANNEL)
"Under Fire" made me cry by taking me back to my childhood. I grew up in El Salvador during the start of its bloody civil war (1979-1992) that ended with over 50,000 Salvadorean's murdered and a sizable percentage of the population immigrating overseas, myself included. I had school buddies (two brothers) that were shot dead by death squads. My mother's fiancé, a lawyer, was gunned down the night before they publicly announced their engagement (R.I.P. Tony). If it wasn't for this civil war I wouldn't have left my homeland literally running away from bullets and RPG's, grabbing one of the last planes to leave during the offensive of Nov. '89. Time has made it clear I ended up having a better life here in the States than I would have had if I stayed (I wouldn't be on this website reviewing "UF" in English), which doesn't change the fact my mother died in 2017 (natural causes) having spent 28 years apart from me... many of those years much sooner than both of us anticipated or wanted. :'(
Anywho, despite being set during the fall of Nicaragua in 1979 the war atrocities depicted in "UF" spread over into nearby Central American countries and are almost identical to what we went through in E.S. See Oliver Stone's "Salvador" (1986) for the bloody detailed version. Despite following the dramatic structure of trying-to-be-objective international journalists observing an armed conflict with a detached perspective (as seen during last year's "Civil War" in the newest third-world nation on Earth, U.S.A. :-( ) director Roger Spottiswoode and co-screenwriter Ron Shelton make sure the local Nicaraguan citizens are properly represented and aren't just background window dressing (a rarity for this dramatic sub-genre). It's infrequent, but when war scenes happen they're intense but not as graphic as in "The Killing Fields." Gene Hackman's glorified supporting role is a meaty one, but Nick Nolte (playing against type as a weakling), Joanna Cassidy, Ed Harris and Holly Palance acquit themselves as international folks moved to their core by the plight of this particular group of brown people. 4 INEFFECTIVELY WAVED WHITE FLAGS (out of five).
NO WAY OUT (1987, KINO 4K UHD)
ReplyDeleteFour years later another director named Roger (Donaldson) gave Hackman another meaty supporting role in his cold way/military thriller "No Way Out." I knew from pop culture parodies that Kevin Costner and Sean Young hooked-up in the back of a limo, and that Secretary of Defense Brice (Hackman, who starts strong before looking vulnerable) would use Costner's naval intelligence skills to lead a search for the unknown man that killed Susan Atwell (Young) as a cover for Brice's own crime. What I wasn't prepared for was Will Patton (as Brice's right-hand man) dominating every scene he shares with Gene, Kevin and every other acting heavyweight (George Dzundza, Fred Thompson, Howard Duff, Iman, etc.) like a boss. Seriously, if you haven't seen "NON" seek it just to see Patton walk away with a still-going-strong career. Did not see THAT ending coming, which on hindsight seems obvious but back in '87 was the Shyamalan 'what a twist!' of its day. Great movie. 4.5 SOUND-PROOF EMPTY PENTAGON GYMS (out of five).
'THE PACKAGE (1989, KINO BLU-RAY). Streaming on Netflix.
ReplyDeleteThe first of director Andrew Davis' three collaborations with Tommy Lee Jones (and a dress-rehearsal for "The Fugitive" four years later, right down to the same Chicago locations/actors in slightly different roles), "The Package" finds TLJ as the on-the-run fugitive being chased by military man Gene Hackman (with ex-wife Joanna Cassidy tagging along) trying to prevent the former from an assassination attempt on either a bad George Bush-lookalike or an excellent Mikhail Gorbachev impersonator. :-P As in "NON" we're in military action/cold war thriller territory but with enough conspiracy theory fuel to give the shootouts/car chases a sense of paranoia/urgency. Dennis Franz's Chicago PD role (same year "Hill Street Blues" was cancelled) was a pleasant surprise. 4 COOKIES & MILK LAST MEALS (out of five).
Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins (1985)
ReplyDeleteI cant put my finger on it but this flick feels sort of one-of-a-kind even thou its one of many many "dude joins top secret organization to do good". Maybe its that Fred Ward feels so everyman? Not sure. Anyhoo a fun revisit of this silly 80s actioner thats got a lot of "buddy cop" vibe within. Plus the Statue of Liberty set piece is an all timer!!
That was going to be my pick too, but then I happened to see a review that said it's got Joel Grey in yellowface, and I just didn't feel like dealing with that right now, so I picked a different movie.
Delete@Mikko...i was actually going to comment about that...quite randomly its the 2nd day in a row i came across such a casting choice. i hadnt seen the movie since childhood and was reallllly caught off guard by that situation.
DeleteYou mean the performance that was nominated for a Golden Globe?
DeleteRobowar (1988, dir. Bruno Mattei)
ReplyDeleteSpoilers ahead: An elite squad of American soldiers is sent on a secret mission in a Central American jungle. They destroy an enemy camp and rescue a captive woman, but soon realize there's a bigger threat: what they were really sent there to fight was a mysterious creature who has superior firepower, sees its surroundings via a pixelated heads-up-display, and only communicates through distorted recordings of human voices. The team keep firing their guns into the jungle at every sound they hear, but the enemy picks them off one by one, until it all comes down to a head-to-head confrontation between the creature and the squad leader, which ends with the creature triggering a self-destruct device, and the squad leader and the rescued woman are the only ones who escape the jungle. At the end, we get hero shots of all the actors before the credits roll. Sound familiar?
It's as blatant as blatant ripoffs go, they took Predator's script and changed a few small details, the main one being it's a government-built robot they're fighting instead of an alien. It's obviously also a lot cheaper-looking and doesn't have the star power (Reb Brown is no Arnold), but it's still surprisingly well-made, moves at a pace and has Italian hair metal on the soundtrack, so all in all not a bad time.
I watched this for Rip-offs day a couple of years ago. I wonder if anyone has made more rip-off movies than Bruno Mattei.
DeleteI encourage you to check out the Strike Commando movies if you liked this! Much of the same Mattei madness!
ReplyDeleteI will definitely take that under advisement.
DeleteI have seen the second one, but that first Strike Commando film is hilarious.
Delete"have not seen"
DeleteRUNNING ON EMPTY
ReplyDelete(aka Fast Lane Fever)
(1982) dir. John Clark
Basic story. Incomprehensible Aussie accents. A wise and old blind master. But you really came for the street racing between the Fox-1 440-six pack 1970 Dodge Challenger R/T, a chopped ‘57 Chevy, and a (literally) flaming Aussie Phase III Ford Falcon GTHO.
The final race is cool but is pretty damn short.
It goes out with a whimper rather than a bang.
American Ninja (1985): You guy could've mentioned it was with the brunette from Weird Science. I missed Cannon day yesterday, so I'm catching up.
ReplyDeleteChuck Norris' face welcomes you to either day. 😉😄
DeleteSplit Second (1992, dir. Tony Maylam)
ReplyDeleteWhoops I got the decade wrong...
The year is a futuristic 2008 where global warming has caused London to be partially underwater. Rutger Hauer is a cop (addicted to candy, chocolate, and cigars) tracking a serial killer who might also be a 10-foot tall monster and might also be Satan.
If that premise doesn't make you want to see this movie I can't help you.
We're down to fumes for this month-long odyssey, Matt. '92, '82, who cares? 😉😱
DeleteI've seen this and it's fantastic. Mustn't forget to mention Kim Cattrall is in it too!
DeleteI kind of fell behind with the busyness of life. But as Patrick said on a recent podcast, it's a marathon. And some people finish later than others, and I'm committed to finishing. I watched Wet Hot American Summer for Teenagers! and Riki-Oh. The Story of Ricky for Hong Kong Action! I have a bunch of missed days to fill. The way I see it, I just get to experience the joy of Junesploitation a little longer!
ReplyDeleteDiving into the seemingly inexhaustible well that is 1980s action cinema. When you think you have seen them all, another one pops up somewhere.
ReplyDeleteEYE OF THE TIGER (1986, dir. Richard Sarafian)
Brought to you from the director of Vanishing Point. Watching Eye of the Tiger, you would not guess there was a connection. This has a basic script with bad dialogue, flat acting, flat direction, and runs near two hours. When this began, I was convinced that I was going to hate the film. By the time the Survivor song “Eye of the Tiger” came on with the end credits, I had to give the film a little applause. There is so much ridiculousness and generic ‘80s action goodness that the film won me over. Though done on the cheap, the actions scenes work well. Everything kind of revenge action plot element is thrown into the mix. William Smith always played a good villain. I am sure the script for his part read: “Just scowl whenever the camera is on you.” Perhaps the biggest surprise of the month so far.
CERTAIN FURY (1985, dir. Stephan Gyllenhaal)
Certain Fury was not on my radar until I came across the film on Amazon Prime and put it in my watch list. When Patrick talked about it during a podcast, it moved up my list of candidates for Junesploitation. I almost watched it for New World Pictures day, but here it now is for ‘80s action. I found Certain Fury a curious mix of elements, some of which did not work for me. Of course, there is the action, which greatly surprised me how bloody it begins. That courtroom scene was done well. There is the drama, too. Tatum O’Neil and Irene Caras play off each other well, but I cannot say I completely bought into O’Neil’s toughness here. I believe it mainly was the random script that left me a little frustrated by the end. Overall, if you like very 1985 movies, Certain Fury should not disappoint. I liked a lot more of it than I disliked.
A fun fact: The director is the father of Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Black Rain (1989)
ReplyDeleteI had no idea Ridley Scott directed this until I started watching. Michael Douglas does a nice job doing the "out of control cop" thing. I liked that when the characters wouldn't understand the Japanese being spoken, there were no subtitles on the screen (because the audience doesn't need to know either). The movie didn't feel very 1980's until the end when a character gives Michael Douglas a number of wrapped presents AT THE AIRPORT before he boards his plane, and then I thought, "Oh. Yeah. I guess that used to happen."
Went with a counterfeiter's doubleheader today...
ReplyDeleteA Better Tomorrow (1986)
It's fun to see Chow Yun Fat play a character who's a little looser, more impulsive, with more attitude. All the cop/criminal, brothers, friends, stuck on opposite sides stuff really worked for me. It's not quite the nonstop action onslaught of some other Woo movies, and I liked that the movie let the drama breathe a little more.
To Live and Die in L.A.
I needed a Willem Dafoe palate cleanser after really not liking Speed 2 earlier this week. Rewatching this slick and dirty crime classic absolutely did the trick. Dafoe is a total maniac. Between this and Manhunter, it's kind of a shame William Petersen wasn't in five more "obsessed cop" movies.
TARZAN IN MANHATTAN (1989)
ReplyDeleteTarzan’s beloved chimp pal Cheetah is kidnapped and taken to New York City for animal experimentation, so Tarzan’s leaving the jungle for the urban jungle to rescue him. (Is this the first Tarzan movie where little Cheetah affects the plot?) Jane in this version is a NYC cab driver who teams up with Tarzan, becoming the Scully to his ape-Mulder. I daresay I actually liked this. It’s full of fun fish-out-of-water gags where Tarzan doesn’t know what to make of the modern world. As our hero, actor Joe Lara looks like he stepped off a romance novel cover, but he also understands the assignment and has fun with this. The movie’s dumb, but it left me with a smile on my face.
30 days of Georges Melies, day 29: THE HAUNTED CASTLE (1896)
A wizard/vampire type of guy casts all sorts of magic spells, befuddling two men who visit his castle. Online commenters keeps calling this “the first horror film,” but I suspect that’s up for debate. It does remind me of the original Dracula, with a janky bat puppet, and three ghostly brides who show up. Young Tod Browning must have been a fan.
Miami Connection (1987)
ReplyDeleteMark, John, Jim, Jack, and Tom (if there’s one thing I love it’s creative character names) are a Taekwondo-practicing rock band who must stand up to a gang of ninjas on motorcycles under the command of a ruthless white ninja who wants to take over the drug trade in Miami. Cue multiple fight scenes, stage performances, and beach hangout scenes. There is stuff in here that has to be seen to be believed, because no amount of fancy talk can do it justice. True cult movie status cannot be achieved on purpose, only through that special combination of earnestness and incompetence, and Miami Connection has both in spades. This is Junesploitation at its Junesploitanionest.
Truly a classic! I think it was my first step into bad movies as entertainment.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNinja III: The Domination 1984
ReplyDeleteDirected by Sam Firstenberg
A wild one... very 80s, very violent, very weird. The opening scene is amazing in which with no explanation, a man changes from a suit into ninja garb and goes on a killing spree at a golf course, and is unstoppable despite the cartoonish amount of lead pumped into him. The start is the strongest part of the movie, but there's still plenty to stay around for: spirit possession forcing murder sprees, seduction via pouring V8 on oneself, not enough James Hong, but lots of (daytime??) ninja action.
The Boxer’s Omen 1983
Directed by Kuei Chih-Hung
Wow I came across this just browsing what was available on Arrow Player… and boy was it on another level!
There are multiple visual onslaughts with insane arrays of fake creatures, fluids, mutilations, magic, dismemberments, decompositions, and so on. It's like they took a stack of gnarly giallos, stuck em in a blender, then distilled it to cask strength.
I suggest not reading more about it to just experience it, but I'll mention one fun bit where some fake spiders were drinking up a puddle of venom through little straws. Simultaneously menacing, cute, and laughable.
Double Edge (1985)
ReplyDeleteYears ago, Jack Maraccio (Anthony East) killed the parents of Mark Quinn (Rom Kristoff). Mark didn’t grow up to be Batman. No, he’s a cop and working with his partner Ty Jackson (Jim Moss), he’s keeping the Philippines safe.
Imagine if you took Rambo: First Blood Part II, Rocky and Cobra, threw them in a cup with raw eggs and drank it before running up some steps and blowing things up. That’s this movie, which has a cover that looks just like Marion Cobretti, which was totally an accident and no one meant for it to look that way. Nor did they intend for Jim Gaines’ pimp character named Sly to make you think of anyone else by that name. As for our hero, Kristoff never takes his glasses off, was raised by a ninja and is now a ninja himself, something Stallone never did.
This was directed and written by Teddy Page, who also made Fireback, Jungle Rats, Blazing Guns and so many more movies like this before using the name Teddy Chuck as a first assistant director for movies like The Love Nights of Anthony and Cleopatra (Hakkan Serbes is in that and if you got excited, you’re a pervert), Samson in the Amazon’s Land, Raiders, Sodoma & Gomorra and Showgirl. Yes, Joe D’Amato adult films. I would call that making it.
I have been on travel the last few days and am currently on a plane back to LA. I apologize for slacking off. Yesterday was a first time watch of Cyborg for me for Cannon. Today is Revenge of the Ninja from 1983. Also a first time watch. I am also almost almost done with some Indonesian 80s film called Action Virgin Force.
ReplyDeleteSpecilazing on impersonation and assassinatino
DeleteSOUTHERN COMFORT (1981, Walter Hill)
ReplyDeleteRewatch, first time on 4K from Vinegar Syndrome, still 10/10.
I love this film. Infinitely drab, like the perfect summation of the uselessness that keeps this stolen canoe moving down river.