Junesploitation Cartoon Grab Bag

 by Adam Riske

Some silly movie related clips of ‘90s animated film promotional tie-ins.

Balto



Of course Balto’s fast food tie-in was at Hardee’s. It’s the only restaurant harder to find then the medicine Balto is searching for from the movie. I need to break down and finally see this movie already. I like the paper bag this Balto meal came in too; it’s wintertastic. I would have never thrown it away.

An American Tail: Fievel Goes West



I always wanted to meet Fievel but not like this. He looks disturbing at full size. I remember as a kid wanting to go to Fievel’s Playland at Universal Studios, but I was too old for it. Getting back to meeting Fievel, the problem is if I’m meeting him, I just want it to be a 1:1 and not with a bunch of other kids. I feel like we could have a meaningful conversation is what I’m saying. Why is Fievel watching the kids go down slides? Did Universal Studios think that was a big selling point? It seems like a waste of time at best and something to raise an eyebrow at worst. This ad fundamentally misunderstands Fievel and The West.

Jetsons: The Movie



I remember being convinced Jetsons: The Movie was going to be huge at the box office, so I told my Mom we had to get there early to see a Saturday night show on opening weekend. There was hardly anyone there, let alone Dave Thomas (I like how he says “cool” here, I almost feel the breeze). Those are some sweet cups and the burger looks good. Also is Dave Thomas just talking to a random person sitting behind and across from him? Is he a talker at movies? Is this some Terror in the Aisles shit?

Once Upon a Forest



I like how the third girl is laughing so much that her character introduction is unintelligible. That Edgar the Mole plush toy for proof of purchase and $2.95 is a sweet deal. I like how the kids are all chilling. Do you think they called each other and were like “Want to meet up on the steps and shoot the shit about Once Upon a Forest or something?”

The Pagemaster



I wonder how many adults ordered The Pagemaster Meal Deal with a bunch of extra stuff because they wanted it for themselves but knew it would look weird if they were only getting The Pagemaster Meal Deal. You know, like if you want to buy a copy of Hustler at a convenience store but also get a lottery ticket and an empanada to make it look like that’s not the only reason you’re there. 2025 Business Idea: Pizza Hut should sell Hustler and call that The Pagemaster Meal Deal.

The Pebble and the Penguin



Kids want adventure. And fun. And a penguin voiced by Jim Belushi. I should see this movie. It’s on Prime now and I’m genuinely curious what angle Belushi is going to bring to this bird. Btw…MGM/UA…were those five movies the best you could do to showcase your legacy of family films> Woof…and by that, I mean I’d probably take the copy of All Dogs Go to Heaven.

Quest for Camelot



Why do all these kids want Dave Thomas to take them to Quest for Camelot? Don’t they know he has work? Is this some Judd Hirsch in Independence Day: Resurgence shit where he adopted all these kids? BTW…I don’t believe that one kid is interested in the movie because it’s a heartwarming love story. Also, a ticket that lets the adult get in at the kid’s price. Sly, Warner Bros. Now you got children playing salespeople to their parents and/or adult guardian. Very sly. “Who’s driving? You or me?” – this is classic grown up to kid humor. A chestnut that never gets old. I think it’s because adults know they lost all their power to the kid, so this is them subconsciously trying to level the playing field.

Rock-a-Doodle



Remember when Rock-a-Doodle came out and it was so influential that everyone got pompadours? You must, even the dogs got them. I wonder how many people bought the VHS just to get a few bucks off Wisk. Like they were on the fence about buying Rock-a-Doodle and the Wisk deal was what put it over the top.