Scott Derrickson's BLACK PHONE 2 (2025, AMC DOLBY CINEMA) for the first time.Grabber "borrows" Freddy Krueger playbook. Mixed results.ORBetter than has any right to be.OR 🎵 I'm dreaming in grainy 8mm Christmas footage 🎵
THE BRIDE (VIETNAM, '25, THEATER) for the first time.Revenge-driven sister wrecks Thai family's sacrificial fireworks.OREnglish language mangled worse than busybody in-laws.
CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984, ARROW BLU-RAY).Gatlin, Nebraska. Unlikely birthplace of cool gun.ORMovie summer Linda Hamilton turned pretty [badass]!
Dagon (2001 Dir. Stuart Gordon)It’s an indescribable, unfathomable, unimaginable fish person!
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Everybody's head-taking. What about head-giving?
28 Years Later (2025, Danny Boyle)All that zombie dick had me Savilating
The Incubus (1981 Dir. John Hough)Incredibly classy despite countless conversations about cum
Presence (2025)Such a shame Soderbergh retired in 2013.
GRETEL AND HANSEL (2020) Nothing good ever happens in a forest.
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)Meta Mockumentary: Making Masked Monster. Muy Magnifico!
Event Horizon (1997)It's one of the few noteworthy Noseworthy's
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! (1978)They must have really hated Donnie Osmond.
New Year's Evil (1980)Radio host as horror protagonist - never fails.
SEVERANCE (2006) dir. Christopher SmithI’ve been on worse team building weekends.
The Woman (2011, dir. Lucky McKee)The Man might be the real problem.
Body Parts (1991)He definitely gave himself the ultimate stranger
Van Helsing (2004)"Never give up on a movie" counter-argument.
Leviathan (1989)Studio exec vote: Alien 99, Jaws 1
Graveyard Shift (1990) Rats potentially activated by phony Maine accents.
Just watched last week. Stephen Macht should have used that accent his entire career.
The Dead Don’t Die (2019)Fracking breaks planet; Driver breaks fourth wall.
The Descent*Raises Glasses* The correct term is spelunking.
Prince of Darkness (1987)Don’t get any in my…ah fuck!
Night of the Eagle AKA Burn Witch Burn (1962) Have an affair like everyone else, already!
Freddy vs Jason (2003)CGI worm-Freddy is the actual winner.
Silver Bullet (1985)Does Communion received by werewolf still count?
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Mummy's Ghost (1944, dir. Reginald Le Borg)This movie's just a lot of applesauce.
Suspiria (2018)Wicked witches of West Berlin get... Exploded?
The First PurgeYou’d find me under my bed crying.
Stanley Kubrick's The Shining (1980)"A photo finish! Big Wheel beats Steadicam!"
3 From Hell (2019)Director (shouting): Call my wife hot! Again!
Bones and All (2022)My favorite horror movie of the 20s.
Hell yeah! 🤘
The Conjuring (2013) That’s a lotta kids for two non-Catholics.
Phantom Ship aka The Mystery of the Mary Celeste (1935)Lugosi's vampire-less Last Voyage of the Demeter.
Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)Sheriff bends over backwards for his daughter.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)Pinkett ruins Zane's life. Will Smith nods.
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood (1996)Feels like visiting relatives at this point
Bring Her Back (2025)An a24 meditation on grief? No way!OrWater in a movie? Think Sally Hawkins!
Alucarda (1977)Satanic lesbian orphans... dynamite Pornhub search terms
Stuck (2007)Horns, gunshots. Nobody cares; only in America
The Living Skeleton (1968)There's a living skeleton inside us all
Howling (1981)Dog friendly isolated psychiatric retreat.Sounds nice.
Carrie (1976. Dir. Brian De Palma)You're all going to fry by her.
Review count for day 17: 44Review total after day 17: 913
Scott Derrickson's BLACK PHONE 2 (2025, AMC DOLBY CINEMA) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteGrabber "borrows" Freddy Krueger playbook. Mixed results.
OR
Better than has any right to be.
OR
🎵 I'm dreaming in grainy 8mm Christmas footage 🎵
THE BRIDE (VIETNAM, '25, THEATER) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteRevenge-driven sister wrecks Thai family's sacrificial fireworks.
OR
English language mangled worse than busybody in-laws.
CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984, ARROW BLU-RAY).
ReplyDeleteGatlin, Nebraska. Unlikely birthplace of cool gun.
OR
Movie summer Linda Hamilton turned pretty [badass]!
Dagon (2001 Dir. Stuart Gordon)
ReplyDeleteIt’s an indescribable, unfathomable, unimaginable fish person!
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
ReplyDeleteEverybody's head-taking. What about head-giving?
28 Years Later (2025, Danny Boyle)
ReplyDeleteAll that zombie dick had me Savilating
The Incubus (1981 Dir. John Hough)
ReplyDeleteIncredibly classy despite countless conversations about cum
Presence (2025)
ReplyDeleteSuch a shame Soderbergh retired in 2013.
GRETEL AND HANSEL (2020)
ReplyDeleteNothing good ever happens in a forest.
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
ReplyDeleteMeta Mockumentary: Making Masked Monster. Muy Magnifico!
Event Horizon (1997)
ReplyDeleteIt's one of the few noteworthy Noseworthy's
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! (1978)
ReplyDeleteThey must have really hated Donnie Osmond.
New Year's Evil (1980)
ReplyDeleteRadio host as horror protagonist - never fails.
SEVERANCE (2006) dir. Christopher Smith
ReplyDeleteI’ve been on worse team building weekends.
The Woman (2011, dir. Lucky McKee)
ReplyDeleteThe Man might be the real problem.
Body Parts (1991)
ReplyDeleteHe definitely gave himself the ultimate stranger
Van Helsing (2004)
ReplyDelete"Never give up on a movie" counter-argument.
Leviathan (1989)
ReplyDeleteStudio exec vote: Alien 99, Jaws 1
Graveyard Shift (1990)
ReplyDeleteRats potentially activated by phony Maine accents.
Just watched last week. Stephen Macht should have used that accent his entire career.
DeleteThe Dead Don’t Die (2019)
ReplyDeleteFracking breaks planet; Driver breaks fourth wall.
The Descent
ReplyDelete*Raises Glasses* The correct term is spelunking.
Prince of Darkness (1987)
ReplyDeleteDon’t get any in my…ah fuck!
Night of the Eagle AKA Burn Witch Burn (1962)
ReplyDeleteHave an affair like everyone else, already!
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
ReplyDeleteCGI worm-Freddy is the actual winner.
Silver Bullet (1985)
ReplyDeleteDoes Communion received by werewolf still count?
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThe Mummy's Ghost (1944, dir. Reginald Le Borg)
ReplyDeleteThis movie's just a lot of applesauce.
Suspiria (2018)
ReplyDeleteWicked witches of West Berlin get... Exploded?
The First Purge
ReplyDeleteYou’d find me under my bed crying.
Stanley Kubrick's The Shining (1980)
ReplyDelete"A photo finish! Big Wheel beats Steadicam!"
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete3 From Hell (2019)
ReplyDeleteDirector (shouting): Call my wife hot! Again!
Bones and All (2022)
ReplyDeleteMy favorite horror movie of the 20s.
Hell yeah! 🤘
DeleteThe Conjuring (2013)
ReplyDeleteThat’s a lotta kids for two non-Catholics.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePhantom Ship aka The Mystery of the Mary Celeste (1935)
ReplyDeleteLugosi's vampire-less Last Voyage of the Demeter.
Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
ReplyDeleteSheriff bends over backwards for his daughter.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)
ReplyDeletePinkett ruins Zane's life. Will Smith nods.
Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood (1996)
ReplyDeleteFeels like visiting relatives at this point
Bring Her Back (2025)
ReplyDeleteAn a24 meditation on grief? No way!
Or
Water in a movie? Think Sally Hawkins!
Alucarda (1977)
ReplyDeleteSatanic lesbian orphans... dynamite Pornhub search terms
Stuck (2007)
ReplyDeleteHorns, gunshots. Nobody cares; only in America
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Living Skeleton (1968)
ReplyDeleteThere's a living skeleton inside us all
Howling (1981)
ReplyDeleteDog friendly isolated psychiatric retreat.
Sounds nice.
Carrie (1976. Dir. Brian De Palma)
ReplyDeleteYou're all going to fry by her.
Review count for day 17: 44
ReplyDeleteReview total after day 17: 913