STEPHEN KING DOUBLE FEATUREMick Garris' SLEEPWALKERS (1992, 35MM, IFC CENTER).Qualifies as e-r-o-t-i-c p-o-r-n-o in "Thundercats" universe.ORTypical King adaptation: neutered, fuzzy and pretentious.
Francis Lawrence's THE LONG WALK (2025, theater) for the first time.Starring Mark Hamill as 'Major [Right-"Wing Commander"].'ORFirst headshot shocks. Second disturbs. 345th annoys.
Francis Ford Coppola's BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992, Blu-ray).How'sROOOOMM!!!!SEEEERVIIIICEE!!!!at Drac's castle, Neo?ORHungry VanHelsing, headless Lucy's delicious ham-to-ham combat.
Weapons (2025)Guns don’t kill people. Witches kill people.
Hellraiser (1987)Huh, Pinhead's actually the good looking one.
SPELLCASTER (1988) Yeah, trust the guy named “Senor Diablo.”
Nightmare Weekend (1986, dir. Henri Sala)Huh?Well the commentary'll explain it all.
Kill List (2011)Part time job? Nah, kill list please.
Until Dawn (2025) Hydration? Nah, I think I’m good.
The Seventh Curse (1986)They really just ignored the child sacrifices?
The Stuff (1985)Ben n Jerrys Flavor: Blob Bodysnatchers BlendorDocumentary about what REALLY happened to TCBY
Dracula's Daughter (1936)Countess Zaleska considered therapy but chose violence.
Otis (2008)Cheap pizza might be worth the kidnapping.
Fright Night (1985)Not last time Evil Ed gets staked
😳🤣😁👍
The Spell (1977)Mother/daughter issues resolved in very unusual ways
INSIDIOUS (2010, Dir. James Wan)Tiny Tim tiptoes towards top ten terrifiers.
ANDY WARHOL’S BLOOD FOR DRACULA (1974) I’m thinking Warhol wasn’t actually on set.
Ready or Not (2019)Fuck, Marry, Kill: All of the above.
Pure (2019)Purity culture - the true horror all along.
28 Years Later (2025)Whole lotta swingin' dicks and floppin' tits.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)Honest Review: This was a pleasant surprise.
Night of the Creeps (1986)Thrill me, a textbook cry for help.
Children of the Corn (1984)So what happens when EVERYONE turns nineteen?
John Carpenter's Halloween (1978)DON'T play the Halloween "Boogeyman" drinking game.
Pumpkinhead (1988)A name that limits career options: HAGGIS.
Longlegs (2024) Dir: Oz PerkinsMeh. I’ve seen longer legs than that.
Paranormal Activity (2007)1. Micah deserved to die in this movie. 2. Katie Featherston deserved much better from Hollywood.
WOLF MAN (2025) Are wolves known for their receding hairlines?
Hell of a SummerI didn’t go to Summer Camp. *Shrugs*
Baskin (2016)What the fuck did I just watch?!
THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER ONE (2024)"To Be Continued" feels like a threat.
Needful Things (1993)Max Von Sydow just said "Air Jordans".
Dracula's Daughter (1936, dir. Lambert Hillyer)Boring movie. Holden and Van Sloan innocent.
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's RevengeAt least it’s better than Freddy’s Dead.
The Vampire Happening (1971)A centuries-old vampire has metal teeth fillings.
HELLRAISER (1987):The female Cenobite’s a real Rob’s Type.
Together (2025)Documentary detailing the invention of Crazy Glue.
Nice! 😃🥰
Nightmare Weekend (1986)Dir. Henri SalaWhat the fuck?! Seriously, What the fuck?!
SINNERS (2025)Michael B Jordan being twice as cool.
Final Destination Bloodlines (2025)“Bloodlines” - cinematic code for absolute horror garbage.
HEART EYES (2025) What a strange sequel to 1981’s HEARTBEEPS.
Ghosts of MarsThe scariest part is Statham with hair.
The Hitcher (2007)Literally end with "For England, James?" line.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)Who's the real monster? Booze? Bravado? Taxidermy?
Cat People (1982)Apparently Leopards thrive in full 80s bushMan’s Best Friend (1993)Ally Sheedy: “I got a high-school makeover for this?”
Barbarian (2022)Someone get that woman a breast pump!
A Haunting in Venice (2023)These should’ve been spooky from the jump
House on Eden (2025)The Blair Witch project this is not.
Together (2025)Stuck on Bandaids? Franco’s stuck on Brie!
This comment has been removed by the author.
Night of the Reaper (2025)It’s like the Jaws of Park Rangers
FEAR STREET: PROM QUEEN (2025) References to Other Horror Movies: The Movie!
Night of the Reaper (2025)It’s like Jaws, but for park rangers.
Heart Eyes (2025)Strange Hobbs and Shaw reboot movie.
VAMPS (2012) dir. Amy HeckerlingCampy. Charming. Clueless 2 it is not.
The Black Phone (2021)Guy with cool mask thwarted by ghosts.
MIRROR, MIRROR(1990)Mirrors inhabited by demons are best avoided
Final Destination 5 (2011)Todd Packer is Michael Scott is dead.
Rosemary’s Baby (1968)“Fuck you” - me every time Guy speaks
Beast of War, Kiah Roache-Turner, 2025Raft of Medusa plus big ass shark
Suspiria (2018)Susie was out of her Volken mind!
Same movie but I had a dream where I sent this instead:That's "turned into a ball" room dancing.
Sinners (2025 Dir Ryan Cooglar)Suddenly Michael Flatley's appeal makes more sense
2nd best scene in the movie. 🤘😎
Bad Milo! (2013)Oh, Britta's in this? *check back cover*
The House on Sorority Row (1983)Under casket is pretty smart body disposal
Deadstream (2022)Forget the rope; aim for the bushes
Murders in the Rue Morgue (1932)Robert Florey doesn't know chimp from gorilla
Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957)You're going to need a bigger pot
Tarantula (1955)Space Cowboy Eastwood napalms giant ass spider.
The Descent (2005)I’d drink these ladies’ cavewater any day.
Review count for day 2: 69Review total after day 2: 139
STEPHEN KING DOUBLE FEATURE
ReplyDeleteMick Garris' SLEEPWALKERS (1992, 35MM, IFC CENTER).
Qualifies as e-r-o-t-i-c p-o-r-n-o in "Thundercats" universe.
OR
Typical King adaptation: neutered, fuzzy and pretentious.
Francis Lawrence's THE LONG WALK (2025, theater) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteStarring Mark Hamill as 'Major [Right-"Wing Commander"].'
OR
First headshot shocks. Second disturbs. 345th annoys.
Francis Ford Coppola's BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA (1992, Blu-ray).
ReplyDeleteHow's
ROOOOMM!!!!
SEEEERVIIIICEE!!!!
at Drac's castle, Neo?
OR
Hungry VanHelsing, headless Lucy's delicious ham-to-ham combat.
Weapons (2025)
ReplyDeleteGuns don’t kill people. Witches kill people.
Hellraiser (1987)
ReplyDeleteHuh, Pinhead's actually the good looking one.
SPELLCASTER (1988)
ReplyDeleteYeah, trust the guy named “Senor Diablo.”
Nightmare Weekend (1986, dir. Henri Sala)
ReplyDeleteHuh?
Well the commentary'll explain it all.
Kill List (2011)
ReplyDeletePart time job? Nah, kill list please.
Until Dawn (2025) Hydration? Nah, I think I’m good.
ReplyDeleteThe Seventh Curse (1986)
ReplyDeleteThey really just ignored the child sacrifices?
The Stuff (1985)
ReplyDeleteBen n Jerrys Flavor: Blob Bodysnatchers Blend
or
Documentary about what REALLY happened to TCBY
Dracula's Daughter (1936)
ReplyDeleteCountess Zaleska considered therapy but chose violence.
Otis (2008)
ReplyDeleteCheap pizza might be worth the kidnapping.
Fright Night (1985)
ReplyDeleteNot last time Evil Ed gets staked
😳🤣😁👍
DeleteThe Spell (1977)
ReplyDeleteMother/daughter issues resolved in very unusual ways
INSIDIOUS (2010, Dir. James Wan)
ReplyDeleteTiny Tim tiptoes towards top ten terrifiers.
ANDY WARHOL’S BLOOD FOR DRACULA (1974)
ReplyDeleteI’m thinking Warhol wasn’t actually on set.
Ready or Not (2019)
ReplyDeleteFuck, Marry, Kill: All of the above.
Pure (2019)
ReplyDeletePurity culture - the true horror all along.
28 Years Later (2025)
ReplyDeleteWhole lotta swingin' dicks and floppin' tits.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)
ReplyDeleteHonest Review: This was a pleasant surprise.
Night of the Creeps (1986)
ReplyDeleteThrill me, a textbook cry for help.
Children of the Corn (1984)
ReplyDeleteSo what happens when EVERYONE turns nineteen?
John Carpenter's Halloween (1978)
ReplyDeleteDON'T play the Halloween "Boogeyman" drinking game.
Pumpkinhead (1988)
ReplyDeleteA name that limits career options: HAGGIS.
Longlegs (2024) Dir: Oz Perkins
ReplyDeleteMeh. I’ve seen longer legs than that.
Paranormal Activity (2007)
ReplyDelete1. Micah deserved to die in this movie.
2. Katie Featherston deserved much better from Hollywood.
WOLF MAN (2025)
ReplyDeleteAre wolves known for their receding hairlines?
Hell of a Summer
ReplyDeleteI didn’t go to Summer Camp. *Shrugs*
Baskin (2016)
ReplyDeleteWhat the fuck did I just watch?!
THE STRANGERS: CHAPTER ONE (2024)
ReplyDelete"To Be Continued" feels like a threat.
Needful Things (1993)
ReplyDeleteMax Von Sydow just said "Air Jordans".
Dracula's Daughter (1936, dir. Lambert Hillyer)
ReplyDeleteBoring movie. Holden and Van Sloan innocent.
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2: Freddy's Revenge
ReplyDeleteAt least it’s better than Freddy’s Dead.
The Vampire Happening (1971)
ReplyDeleteA centuries-old vampire has metal teeth fillings.
HELLRAISER (1987):
ReplyDeleteThe female Cenobite’s a real Rob’s Type.
Together (2025)
ReplyDeleteDocumentary detailing the invention of Crazy Glue.
Nice! 😃🥰
DeleteNightmare Weekend (1986)
ReplyDeleteDir. Henri Sala
What the fuck?! Seriously, What the fuck?!
SINNERS (2025)
ReplyDeleteMichael B Jordan being twice as cool.
Final Destination Bloodlines (2025)
ReplyDelete“Bloodlines” - cinematic code for absolute horror garbage.
HEART EYES (2025)
ReplyDeleteWhat a strange sequel to 1981’s HEARTBEEPS.
Ghosts of Mars
ReplyDeleteThe scariest part is Statham with hair.
The Hitcher (2007)
ReplyDeleteLiterally end with "For England, James?" line.
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)
ReplyDeleteWho's the real monster? Booze? Bravado? Taxidermy?
Cat People (1982)
ReplyDeleteApparently Leopards thrive in full 80s bush
Man’s Best Friend (1993)
Ally Sheedy: “I got a high-school makeover for this?”
Barbarian (2022)
ReplyDeleteSomeone get that woman a breast pump!
A Haunting in Venice (2023)
ReplyDeleteThese should’ve been spooky from the jump
House on Eden (2025)
ReplyDeleteThe Blair Witch project this is not.
Together (2025)
ReplyDeleteStuck on Bandaids? Franco’s stuck on Brie!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNight of the Reaper (2025)
ReplyDeleteIt’s like the Jaws of Park Rangers
FEAR STREET: PROM QUEEN (2025)
ReplyDeleteReferences to Other Horror Movies: The Movie!
Night of the Reaper (2025)
ReplyDeleteIt’s like Jaws, but for park rangers.
Heart Eyes (2025)
ReplyDeleteStrange Hobbs and Shaw reboot movie.
VAMPS (2012) dir. Amy Heckerling
ReplyDeleteCampy. Charming. Clueless 2 it is not.
The Black Phone (2021)
ReplyDeleteGuy with cool mask thwarted by ghosts.
MIRROR, MIRROR(1990)
ReplyDeleteMirrors inhabited by demons are best avoided
Final Destination 5 (2011)
ReplyDeleteTodd Packer is Michael Scott is dead.
Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
ReplyDelete“Fuck you” - me every time Guy speaks
Beast of War, Kiah Roache-Turner, 2025
ReplyDeleteRaft of Medusa plus big ass shark
Suspiria (2018)
ReplyDeleteSusie was out of her Volken mind!
Same movie but I had a dream where I sent this instead:
DeleteThat's "turned into a ball" room dancing.
Sinners (2025 Dir Ryan Cooglar)
ReplyDeleteSuddenly Michael Flatley's appeal makes more sense
2nd best scene in the movie. 🤘😎
DeleteBad Milo! (2013)
ReplyDeleteOh, Britta's in this? *check back cover*
The House on Sorority Row (1983)
ReplyDeleteUnder casket is pretty smart body disposal
Deadstream (2022)
ReplyDeleteForget the rope; aim for the bushes
Murders in the Rue Morgue (1932)
ReplyDeleteRobert Florey doesn't know chimp from gorilla
Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957)
ReplyDeleteYou're going to need a bigger pot
Tarantula (1955)
ReplyDeleteSpace Cowboy Eastwood napalms giant ass spider.
The Descent (2005)
ReplyDeleteI’d drink these ladies’ cavewater any day.
Review count for day 2: 69
ReplyDeleteReview total after day 2: 139