Reel Talk: ANACONDA (2025)

 by Sonia Mansfield and Adam Riske

If Sonia likes this movie, Adam is going to call her Sony(a). Read on to find out!

Adam: We’re taking a new direction for this monthly series in 2026, and that’s to discuss new releases. First up is the reboot/satire Anaconda (2025) directed by Tom Gormican (The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent) and starring Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Thandiwe Newton, and Steve Zahn with special cameos along the way. The setup is this foursome were childhood friends who like to make home movies together inspired by action-adventure films of their day. Rudd’s character secures the rights to Anaconda and suggests they remake the 1997 creature feature as a way of City Slickers-ing their lives and bringing them new purpose and joy. It’s a comedy, it’s an action movie, it’s a meta commentary, it’s…also not really any of these things successfully. I don’t know what this movie is to be honest. It sure feels like they aimed at the bare minimum and still missed.

What did you think of the new Anaconda, Sonia?

Sonia: City Slickers is a great call-out, Adam. I went into this movie with low expectations. Really low. I actually chuckled a few times in the beginning when the friends all got together to watch the home movie they made as kids, “The Squatch.” As someone who also grew up making home movies with friends, I know those movies. And I know the feeling of being young and dreaming of going to Hollywood and making movies. I also know the feeling of getting older, having responsibilities, and your life moving in a different direction.

This could’ve been a really fun movie about reconnecting with your passions and a giant snake is trying to eat you. That’s plenty of plot. Instead, this movie throws in even more plot with illegal gold mining, which is not fun. It turns out MY anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got fun, hun. Sorry. I had to.

What do you think about the performances in the movie, Adam?

Adam: I’m not really sure, to be honest. I can’t tell if they were betrayed by bad writing or if their performances are underwhelming or possibly both. I can say that Black, Rudd, and Zahn have been much more spirited in other movies than they are here. Newton doesn’t have much to do. There’s a muted energy all around that takes over the movie. Is now a good time to mention I fell asleep for about 15 minutes around the end of the first act? It’s when they got further into the jungle and we picked back up with that illegal gold mining subplot which sank the movie completely. The only reason I think it’s included is to have more characters for the snake to attack.

I agree with you that I chuckled a few times (three that I can remember right now) but I think the movie has a fatal flaw which is other than meta commentary on Hollywood laziness, why Anaconda? We get a brief scene where the characters reminisce on the weirdness of Jon Voight’s performance in Anaconda (1997), but if you’re gonna have characters leave their lives to remake something out of love for that thing then they would have to have a much deeper knowledge and affection for that thing than what’s displayed here. I love the original Anaconda (1997) too and I was hoping this new movie would be full of in-jokes for fans, but there’s almost none of that. It basically just says: snake (check), jungle (check), cameos by a couple of people from the cast of the original (check). They didn’t even have the good sense of joking about Anacondas: Hunt for the Blood Orchid. The characters in this movie should know that as part of their lore. I’m a little bummed because this movie could have been a neat artifact -- a love letter to a mid-tier hit movie with minor cultural legacy -- but instead it’s a movie about a movie that has little interest in the movie it’s satirizing.

The more I think back on the movie, it’s not even about what I said: Paul Rudd picks Anaconda because he walks past a poster of it on the Sony lot and he recruits Jack Black and company because he says he has the rights. It could have been any movie poster he walked past. This could’ve been called The Big Hit (2025) and been about rebooting that movie just as easily.

What was Ione Skye doing in this? Did you see any good trailers before the movie?

Sonia: There was a missed opportunity here to cast Jason Biggs in the Paul Rudd role, which would’ve made it an Anaconda reboot AND a Saving Silverman reunion.

There was a preview for the thriller Crime 101, starring Chris Hemsworth, Monica Barbaro, Barry Keoghan, Mark Ruffalo, and Halle Berry. It looks like a solid three-star movie that I’ll probably watch on streaming, because it’s coming out the same weekend as Wuthering Heights. (Don’t judge me)

Adam: I want to see both of those! Crime 101 I’m hoping will rise to the heights of the first Den of Thieves.

Sonia: But the one you really wanna know about is The Breadwinner, starring Nate Bargatze as a husband and father who has to take care of his own kids because his wife (Mandy Moore) is on a work trip. It’s basically a reboot of Mr. Mom, so it makes sense they had a preview before the reboot of Anaconda.

I had a visceral reaction to this trailer. Even in the '80s, Mr. Mom was kinda pushing it with the idea that running a house and taking care of the kids is a job for the ladies, not men like Michael Keaton. The movie works because of how much we love Keaton and Terri Garr. I don’t have that affection for Bargatze. The fact that this grown-ass man doesn’t know how to do laundry or cook for himself or where his kids go to school isn’t funny to me at all. Unless he’s got a medical reason for not knowing how to do basic household chores, that’s called weaponized incompetence, and it’s part of the reason there’s a male loneliness epidemic. Dads should be offended by this movie.

Adam: Yeah, I saw that trailer too. It looks like something that would’ve come out in April 2014. That makes sense in my head.

Sonia: What trailers did you see, Adam?

Adam: I’m looking at the release calendar to try to remember. I should have made a mental note we were supposed to talk about this, haha. I remember The Super Mario Bros. Galaxy Movie being one of them, which is a trailer that goes in one ear out the other for me. I like the look of those movies but there’s nothing there for me as an adult man who knew about but didn’t play Mario all the time growing up.

I think Scream 7 was another one, mainly because I see that trailer before every movie. It looks fine. I know I’ll see it just for curiosity's sake. The last one was pretty good and I’m happy Neve Campbell is back.

Oh, yeah, we saw a trailer for an animated basketball movie called GOAT, which looks like Space Jam with Into the Spiderverse style animation. I’m not a fan of that type of animation, so this was hard to sit through. The movie also doesn’t look very good, but I’m obviously not the intended audience.

Sonia: GOAT 100 percent looks like they came up with the name first and worked backwards.

Adam: To wrap up, what’s the next new movie you’re most looking forward to? For me it’s Send Help because it’s finally a Sam Raimi movie that looks like a Sam Raimi movie. Also, I love Rachel McAdams. I’m happy she got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She just seems like a lovely person.

Sonia: Along with Wuthering Heights, I’m looking forward to Send Help, too. I keep seeing the trailer for The Bride, starring Jessie Buckley and Christian Bale, and it’s directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal. It looks like The Bride of Frankenstein meets Bonnie and Clyde. Sure, why not?

What about you, F This Movie community? Did you see Anaconda? What trailers have caught your eye?