Friday, July 15, 2011

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Week of July 11)

The trailer for The Amazing Spider-Man will be released next week with select prints of Captain America: The First Avenger. Yay? I mean, yes -- yay. It's exciting! Never mind the fact that we have to wait an additional 353 days until it's actually in theaters (just like one of our trailers below)! I said NEVER MIND the FACT! And I bet you just can't WAIT to hear what I have to say about it (sneak preview: "I'm not crazy about Andrew Garfield!"). The reason I bring this up here is simple ... I'm NEVER NOT THINKING OF YOU GUYS. And trailers. Those two things in combination. For real, I'm 24/7 A.B.T.: Always Be Trailerz'ing.

*Quick note: I was going to post the teaser trailer for The Dark Knight Rises today (it supposedly "premiered" before Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 [although I wouldn't know, because I'm seeing HP8 tonight! Jealous?]), but it's still not available online. D'oh! I even wrote a whole big thing about how excited I was to see it. ANYHOOZERS, the reason today's post is late is because I had to scramble to find a suitable (read: chipmunk-themed) replacement trailer. SORRY!

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chip-Wrecked
Release date: Dec. 16, 2011

Everything about this teaser trailer makes sense. Titanic references ("I'm the king of the world!"), a chipmunk-ified Go-Go's song ("Vacation") ... even a batshit crazy Web URL ( EVERYTHING. Listen ... LISTEN: Titanic came out in 1997, before the audience for this movie was born. "Vacation" was released in 1982, before the parents of the audience for this movie were born. And that domain name? What the MUNK? Are kids supposed to get that "MUNK" means "FUCK"? What else could it mean? And fuck MYself? Really?! All around, classy job guys! I'm kidding! AWFUL JOB, ALL AROUND! BTW, Amy Poehler and Jenny Slate are in this movie. Have you no shame, ladies?

Release date: June 22, 2012

What is this? Watchin' Teaserz with Doug?! Here's the latest from Pixar -- the studio that could do no wrong before shitting out Cars 2 -- about a girl who fights bears in the forest. She has long, curly red hair, which I think makes people happy (I'm looking at you, Harry Knowles -- now you can let Willow Smith reboot Annie). It's also the first Pixar movie to feature a female heroine. I read that in Esquire (thanks again for the subscription, JB!), and I guess it's a big deal. Pixar's used to be all, "BOYS ONLY" (except the "S" in "BOYS" was written backwards). Final thought: that hawk screech at 0:18 is HILARIOUS, but is it intentionally so? A hawk screech in a trailer might be the new record scratch. Just kidding, record scratch! You'll always be the worst! "Ow! I feel good!"

The Undefeated
Release date: Never, hopefully


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