tent pole films have been released, we're getting slammed with snoozers. Dreck. Basura. Shitty movies, is what I'm saying. Stuff like Underworld: Awakening (release date: May 18, 2012) and A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (release date: Nov. 4, 2011), which is pretty typical for late summer/early fall (right before "Awards Season" [tm]). HOWEVER, at least Underworld and Harold & Kumar know exactly what they are -- very specific types of movies (i.e., lame) made for very specific types of people (i.e., not me). Two of the three movies after the jump are just plain bad (though the last one looks awesome). Well, "bad" might be the wrong word. Boring? Misguided? Superfluous? You tell me.
Release date: Oct. 14, 2011
This movie looks ZZzzzZZZzzzz. Everything about it reminds me of something else, which is pretty typical of director Joel Schumacher. Derivative and unoriginal, he's the king of empty style. And the narrator reading the words that are ACTUALLY WRITTEN ON THE SCREEN at the end? YEEESH! Yes, Joel Schumacher is the worst (don't get me wrong), but why only list Phone Booth and Falling Down as his credits during the preview? Um, HELLO? The Number 23? Fucking Batman & Robin?! Full disclosure: I actually like Phone Booth, much to the chagrin of F This Movie! fan/friend Dina. She HATED it. Then again, her favorite movie is The Hangover.
Release date: Sept. 23, 2011
There's only so much shirtless/serious-actor Chris Evans I can take. Next!
Release date: Sept. 16, 2011
How long can the Ryan Gosling lovefest last? My guess: very, very long. This is the kind of trailer you might see in the theater before a movie you're really there to see (but are actually kind of indifferent towards), that, as soon as you get into it, you SO wish it were the ACTUAL film you were there to see. Does that make sense? But, alas, the trailer ends, and the opening credits start for ... oh, I don't know. What? Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (release date: Dec. 16, 2011)? Yes, that works, because Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows a.) looks INCREDIBLY soulless, and b.) is SO something that you feel absolutely no passion for -- nothing in your gut that's really making you dying to see it. In other words, the exact OPPOSITE of Drive. Which looks really good!