Friday, October 28, 2011

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (October 28)

As we all know, #ScaryMovieMonth is not a sprint -- it's a marathon. And we here at F This Movie! are at mile 24. Almost there guys! Can you feel that burn in your calves? Have your toenails fallen off yet? Are your nipples bleeding? GOOD ANALOGIES! If you answered "yes" to any of the above (gross) questions, please click "Read more" below. #ScaryMovieMonth won't last forever, so soak up the last remaining bits of horror before it's too late!

The Exorcist
Release date: Dec. 26, 1973

Merry Christmas? I've only seen this movie once (on the floor of an empty bedroom in an enormous, empty house with all my friends passed out around me [were they ... POSSESSED?!), and, while I can acknowledge it's awesomeness, it didn't really "scare" me as it did others. My wife, for example, sites this as the scariest thing she's ever seen. If I'm not mistaken, F This Movie!'s own Erika also gets the heebie-jeebies when she watches it. Maybe it has something to do with my complete lack of a religious upbringing. Or maybe it's because an adolescent Linda Blair puking all over the place is my number one turn on. IN ANY EVENT, this is a pretty kick-butt trailer, one that really purports the actual Exorcist dude as some sort of superhero. If only he had enough super-strength to prevent the making of Exorcist II: The Heretic.

Release date: Dec. 20, 1996

Chappy Chanukah? I haven't seen Scream since the '90s, but it's on my list of movies to watch this weekend (before I'm officially banned from watching horror for another 11 months). I remember liking it fine, but also being turned off by both a.) Matthew Lillard, and b.) the next generation of imitators that it spawned. Patrick discussed this briefly (and much more eloquently than I ever could) in his Wes Craven write-up earlier this month. The only thing I'll add is yes, the Scream imitator movies are the WORST, except, of course, for Idle Hands (no-a-doy). Re: the trailer, I'm glad that the narrator from The Silence of the Lambs preview is back! Finally, if you liked David Arquette's performance as Deputy Dewey, you should probably vote for him on Dancing with the Stars. It's all the man has left!

Terror Firmer (NSFW)
Release date: June 20, 1999

I don't even know what to say about this movie. I love it, but I can't defend it. You either "get" Troma (which, admittedly, sounds douchy), or you don't. And either is fine! What I CAN say is that Terror Firmer is near-and-dear to my heart, as Patrick and I saw it in 1999 during a midnight show at the Music Box Theatre (the happiest place on earth?). I am by no means an expert on Troma or Lloyd Kaufman, so I'm not even sure if this is a good introduction to the studio's films. Maybe The Toxic Avenger or Class of Nuke 'Em High or Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead would be better "first" experiences. I dunno. However, I've never seen another movie crammed so full of gross-out jokes and sight-gags and "celebrity" cameos and shtick. Terror Firmer is as overwhelming as it is underachieving. And that's what makes it great!

Happy Halloween, F Heads!

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