Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (January 6)

Happy 2012, everyone! Seeing as it's our last year on earth (Mayans!), it's also fitting that this is the year Batman dies. Spoilers?

The Dark Knight Rises
Release date: July 20, 2012



This is late, as the trailer was released a few weeks ago. CUT ME SOME SLACK I WAS ON VACATION. To make it up to you, here's a link to the first six minutes of the film, which was released before select showings of Mission: Impossible -- Ghost Protocol in IMAX. YOU'RE WELCOME (sorry the quality is so bootleg shitty). If you still haven't seen the preview, I'm glad I can be the one to introduce it to you. Ladies and germs, I present Christopher Nolan's third (and final, in which the "legend" "ends") Batman film! If you can get past a few things -- namely, Pittsburgh substituting for Chicago (substituting for New York [but please, Chicago's the best]), questionable CGI of a collapsing football field and everything Anne Hathaway (what is it with the casting of lame-o female leads in these movies?) -- this trailer looks pretty F'ing rad. Gave me a major case of "The Coming Attractions Conundrum," in which I [kinda] wished The Dark Knight Rises was actually playing next after watching the preview. It's OK, though -- I settled for MI4, my favorite movie of 2011. The music, in typical Nolan fashion, is EPIC, and the theme, while a little on the nose, is timely and intriguing. Occupy Gotham? It's nice to have a movie actually SAY something, and not just be about how robots are in disguise. I don't know anything about the villain, Bane, nor do I care to, because that's not why I go see a Batman movie. If it were, I'd be making a bigger stink that King Tut hasn't been featured yet.

Prometheus
Release date: June 8, 2012



Ridley Scott, he of Alien fame, directs another Alien movie. While not an Alien prequel and not directly linked to the original Alien story, Prometheus shares "strands of Alien's DNA, so to speak," according to Alien Director Ridley Scott. Alien Alien Alien. Doesn't even look like a real word anymore, does it?

Chronicle
Release date: Feb. 3, 2012



Thanks to our Twitter follower Chris Willis (@chris_willis_uk) for sharing the above trailer with us. Chronicle is a "found footage" film in which three teenage friends gain superpowers after discovering a mysterious crater. The preview was originally released in October 2011 before showings of Paranormal Activity 3, so, obviously, it's a "serious" and "scary" movie. Frankly, if I had telekinesis or the power or flight or invisibility, I'd be all about HILARIOUS superpranks, like that dancing teddy bear gag, only WAY funnier. I'd also spy on the ladies locker room shower, à la Porky's (superboner). Then, when I got superbored, I'd steal the Declaration of Independence and kidnap the President of the United States. You know -- for kicks! I can just imagine the honor I'll bring to the country. The last thing I'd do is embrace my dark side ...