Friday, March 23, 2012
Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (March 23)
I'm one of the few people I know who subscribes to Dish Network (the OTHER satellite TV company). I tried Comcast (comparable to Time Warner, for all you coastal snobs), but they really did live up to their reputation as Nazi child molesters. They lied and provided shitty service and really just made me think murderous thoughts about everyone who works for them, which, admittedly, is unfair. No matter -- I switched to Dish when I got married, and it's been pretty great (the service AND the marriage, thankyouverymuch), but not without the occasional corporate frustration (and/or thunderstorm signal loss [ugh]). FOR EXAMPLE, they changed the names of their bundles as well as some service features without much explanation in 2011. The price went up a bit, but nothing that gave me pause. They also threw in, like, 12 Starz channels for a year (and WHAT a year!), so I considered it a wash. Recently, however, whilst perusing the bill, my wife noticed something called Blockbuster @Home that, apparently, we've been PAYING FOR for OVER A YEAR. Listen, I am not proud of this oversight, especially when TV service is (was) the one utility I was responsible for. While my first thought was to cancel the package, I (my wife) decided to read what it offered. I discovered (through my wife explaining it to me in monosyllabic words) that for only $10 a month, I get everything through Blockbuster that Netflix Instant provides (namely, streaming of HD movies), PLUS unlimited one disc DVD deliveries. I think I must be the last person on earth still supporting Blockbuster -- the formerly ubiquitous video rental chain that all but disappeared, and whose locations now house cash for gold outlets and Cricket Wireless stores (does ANYONE actually know ANYONE with a Cricket phone?) -- but this deal ... made sense to me? I am ... a sucker? I like to use ... ellipses? So, we officially signed up for the service, and started receiving DVDs in the mail. Our first movie? Friends with Benefits. Aaaand ... it's starting to feel like a mistake again. The movie is bad, is what I'm saying! "Movies: sometimes they're the worst" -Doug. To summarize, I now subscribe to Dish, Netflix, Amazon Prime and Blockbuster @Home. Total number of movies I've seen this week? Two. #winning (still a thing, right?). THANK YOU FOR READING.
Release date: May 11, 2012
On Facebook (you ARE on Facebook, aren't you? And you're most DEFINITELY following us, right?), Patrick answered a fan's question asking who is the most overrated director working today. He responded, "Tim Burton. He seems to be more popular than ever even though he's become a soulless parody of himself." This response came BEFORE the trailer for Dark Shadows was released, which I'M SURE will make Patrick rethink his opinion. Right? No? No it won't? I rest my case? Case closed? I'm out of order? This whole trial is out of order? If nothing else, this preview should whet your appetite for The Munsters reboot. I KID.
Release date: Feb. 3, 2012 (apparently)
Never heard of this movie? Neither had I, until my recent trip to London (remember when I wouldn't shut the fuck up about London? Ah, February). My wife and I saw a poster for it in a TUBE station (that's what the Brits call, you know, TRAINS). We were all, "Huuuhh?" It's like we couldn't imagine a world in which a movie was playing in a theater that we had never heard of before. Then again, we've never been to India, where our heads would surely explode. IMDb describes the film as, "The affair between King Edward VIII and American divorcée Wallis Simpson, and a contemporary romance between a married woman and a Russian security guard." Most significantly, it's directed by MADONNA. Yes, that Madonna:
Fat Kid Rules the World
Release date: TBA
As if topping the SHOCKING news that Madonna directed the previous movie, THIS film was directed by Matthew Lillard. Yes, that Matthew Lillard: