Friday, March 23, 2012

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (March 23)

Trailers in a bit, but first, a story ...

I'm one of the few people I know who subscribes to Dish Network (the OTHER satellite TV company). I tried Comcast (comparable to Time Warner, for all you coastal snobs), but they really did live up to their reputation as Nazi child molesters. They lied and provided shitty service and really just made me think murderous thoughts about everyone who works for them, which, admittedly, is unfair. No matter -- I switched to Dish when I got married, and it's been pretty great (the service AND the marriage, thankyouverymuch), but not without the occasional corporate frustration (and/or thunderstorm signal loss [ugh]). FOR EXAMPLE, they changed the names of their bundles as well as some service features without much explanation in 2011. The price went up a bit, but nothing that gave me pause. They also threw in, like, 12 Starz channels for a year (and WHAT a year!), so I considered it a wash. Recently, however, whilst perusing the bill, my wife noticed something called Blockbuster @Home that, apparently, we've been PAYING FOR for OVER A YEAR. Listen, I am not proud of this oversight, especially when TV service is (was) the one utility I was responsible for. While my first thought was to cancel the package, I (my wife) decided to read what it offered. I discovered (through my wife explaining it to me in monosyllabic words) that for only $10 a month, I get everything through Blockbuster that Netflix Instant provides (namely, streaming of HD movies), PLUS unlimited one disc DVD deliveries. I think I must be the last person on earth still supporting Blockbuster -- the formerly ubiquitous video rental chain that all but disappeared, and whose locations now house cash for gold outlets and Cricket Wireless stores (does ANYONE actually know ANYONE with a Cricket phone?) -- but this deal ... made sense to me? I am ... a sucker? I like to use ... ellipses? So, we officially signed up for the service, and started receiving DVDs in the mail. Our first movie? Friends with Benefits. Aaaand ... it's starting to feel like a mistake again. The movie is bad, is what I'm saying! "Movies: sometimes they're the worst" -Doug. To summarize, I now subscribe to Dish, Netflix, Amazon Prime and Blockbuster @Home. Total number of movies I've seen this week? Two. #winning (still a thing, right?). THANK YOU FOR READING.

Dark Shadows
Release date: May 11, 2012

On Facebook (you ARE on Facebook, aren't you? And you're most DEFINITELY following us, right?), Patrick answered a fan's question asking who is the most overrated director working today. He responded, "Tim Burton. He seems to be more popular than ever even though he's become a soulless parody of himself." This response came BEFORE the trailer for Dark Shadows was released, which I'M SURE will make Patrick rethink his opinion. Right? No? No it won't? I rest my case? Case closed? I'm out of order? This whole trial is out of order? If nothing else, this preview should whet your appetite for The Munsters reboot. I KID.

Release date: Feb. 3, 2012 (apparently)

Never heard of this movie? Neither had I, until my recent trip to London (remember when I wouldn't shut the fuck up about London? Ah, February). My wife and I saw a poster for it in a TUBE station (that's what the Brits call, you know, TRAINS). We were all, "Huuuhh?" It's like we couldn't imagine a world in which a movie was playing in a theater that we had never heard of before. Then again, we've never been to India, where our heads would surely explode. IMDb describes the film as, "The affair between King Edward VIII and American divorcée Wallis Simpson, and a contemporary romance between a married woman and a Russian security guard." Most significantly, it's directed by MADONNA. Yes, that Madonna:
So why are most Americans oblivious to this movie? Probably because it's a contemporary romance between a married woman and a RusszzzzZZZzzzzZZZZZzzZ. But guess what? SOMEONE in my household wants to see it! THANK YOU ENGLAND.

Fat Kid Rules the World
Release date: TBA

As if topping the SHOCKING news that Madonna directed the previous movie, THIS film was directed by Matthew Lillard. Yes, that Matthew Lillard:


  1. My father's wife has a Cricket Phone. When I came to visit them in Arizona for Thanksgiving she actually upgraded her contract/phone so she can have unlimited MP3 song downloads for like $50 a month. It's a big deal to her. Cricket is big in the West Coast where they have their own little retail stores (like Sprint and AT&T have in the Northeast) all over the place. In most of the East/Central parts of the country Cricket works in tandem with a partner (Best Buy, etc.) which is why they seem like a 'ghetto' service if you don't live in the West.

    Time Warner Cable is every bit as bad as Comcast (they're all pretty bad; my folks always bitch how their Cox cable service in AZ is the worst) plus, to top it off, they're a monopoly that owns a lot of zoning areas in big cities (Los Angeles, NYC, etc.) where residential zoning laws prevent apartment renters from putting up their own dish. If I could I'd switch to FIOS or Dish yesterday (Direct TV doesn't interest me since they're heavy into sports) but TWC "owns" the franchise for the part of Manhattan I live in, and my building prevents the tenants from putting a dish outside for safety reason (i.e. blocking the fire escape). It's literally Time Warner or move somewhere else, and I like my rent-controlled apartment. :-(

    BTW, you have to wonder the fiscal/long-term prospect of a company like Dish that would think investing in Blockbuster and then keeping a lot of their stores open makes good business sense. I see the quarterly 'churn' numbers every three months and, while not bad-enough to panic, Dish keeps losing more subscribers than it gains while Direct TV is either flat or losing few/gaining few subscribers pretty much year-round. Still, Dish got you and the wife to pony up extra dough for their subscription/streaming service so they probably know what they're doing.

    No Netflix or Blockbuster rentals for me. I only have Amazon Prime access to whatever they're offering, but I was already a subscriber to Prime before they offered free streaming. Just got my 'Deal of the Day' box with "The Sound of Music" 40th Ann. Blu-ray Combo (the big box with extra junk like DVD/music, books, photos, posters, etc.) for $25 the day after I ordered it. Amazon Prime rocks! :-)

  2. Know lots of people here in Denver who have Cricket phones. I'm considering changing to them when my Virgin Mobile phone dies - depends on what kind of smartphone deal each one offers me.

    And yeah..they're "pay as you go" phones.

    Which whatever you want to say about that, we've never been surprised by a several-thousand-dollar data use charge out of nowhere because we misunderstood the contract or left the phone on by accident. You buy what you can afford for the month and when it's gone, you wait until you get home to use the computer.