Safety Not Guaranteed
Release date: June 8, 2012
Remember this Internet meme from 2005? Me neither. But now it's a movie, so YOU'RE WELCOME. I dig Aubrey Plaza ("Did you just ask me if I like music?"), and the preview has truly great "moments," if that makes any sense. Very indie, which usually means work, but I'm in. Also, Jake M. Johnson appears in this sans Zooey Deschanel (who is probably the worst part of FOX's New Girl [the best part? Schmidt {dur}]), so it's got that going for it. Weirdly enough, I also really like the end of the trailer wherein glowing newspaper reviews surround the movie's title. Novel. Endearing. Cute.
Cosmopolis
Release date: TBA
This is just a teaser (for the French release, no less, which makes it that much crazier), so there's really no way to understand the story. The plot summary on IMDb states: "Riding across Manhattan in a stretch limo in order to get a haircut, a 28-year-old billionaire asset manager's day devolves into a [sic] odyssey with a cast of characters that start to tear his world apart." HAHAHAHA. I mean, yeah, sure ... Robert Pattinson (Remember Me) is a billionaire. It's called SUSPENDING DISBELIEF (look it up!). The ONLY reason I'm featuring this trailer (aside from some cool/violent/sexy/NSFW[?] imagery) is because it's directed by David Cronenberg. I mean, the guy's a pretty big deal, so you better GET ON BOARD.
Hotel Transylvania
Release date: Sept. 21, 2012
Oh, Adam Sandler. You had me at Eight Crazy Nights.
BONUS TRAILER!
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2
Release date: Nov. 16, 2012
I saw The Hunger Games (you know, a GOOD MOVIE) opening night at Muvico (you are jealous), and this teaser shit in my mouth. The sad part (aside from the all the shit all up in my mouth)? Tweens/teens in the audience actually squealed with delight. F EVERYTHING.
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