This past weekend, several of us at F This Movie! attended The Massacre, the 24-hour horror movie festival at Chicago's Portage Theater. This is our story.
Don't worry everyone. I made it through. (By masturbating.)
In all seriousness, thanks for giving us a glimpse into what the Massacre is like. I wish I could go someday, but living on the other side of the world is gonna make that a bit difficult.
Also: there's something strangely amusing about seeing really tired people.
Wow, I didn't even realize you guys had faces! I think we should make F This Movie membership beard-mandatory - I've got mine! - and don't worry, ladies (and Doug), we'll accept the beard from down below, if you know what I'm saying.
Glad to see you guys had...fun..? I don't think I could do it...it was kinda hard watching 5 or 6 movies in a row for the F This Movie Fest and that was in the comfort and pantslessness of my own home!
P.S. Patrick - I sent you a couple emails over the past couple weeks with a question and never heard back - did I get spam-blocked perhaps?
Oooh, sorry if I brought up a touchy subject...haha, actually I BARELY can. Took me a long time with a pretty bad in-between period that I would not be able to go through again now that I'm not a student. I haven't shaved it all off in 8 years because I'd never be able to go through the trouble again and my girlfriend/spousal equivalent of 8 years (not a coincidence) is a beard-lover.
Anyway, Doug - Google "Cash Cab Canada Host" and check out the images - maybe I'm getting an inaccurate impression from this video, but is that guy your doppelgänger?
Why do you hate Canada, Doug? Is it because of our FREEDOM?
I would actually put my heterosexual reputation at stake to agree with you on the handsomeness and the fact I'd like to see you kiss each other. How can it be wrong when it feels so right?
I like TH's idea of mandatory beards, but I'm wondering if I will be accepted since I've trimmed my former beard into a Frank Zappa mustache with soul patch. Or maybe it's a Wyatt Earp Tombstone kind of thing. My hypocrisy knows no bounds.
OK, no joke here, Doug looks/sounds a lot more handsome and gorgeous (!) than his voice on the podcast would indicate. He's the stud of the 'F This Movie' gang appearance-wise, and I'm confident enough in my manly heterosexuality in admitting I'm jealous of the guy's looks. There, I said it I would say it again if I didn't have Sanka for breakfast.
It's amazing what associating names/voices/personalities you're familiar with from a podcast does when those same people are seen/heard through normal video or in person. I thought I could identify Mike or Patrick or Doug if I heard them on the street walking by me, but based on that video I wouldn't be able to pick their real-voice in a "Law & Order" voice line-up if my life depended on it. JB still sounds kind-of like JB though. BTW. "a ladder" = F'n brilliant. :-)
I gotta ask though, was the silent stare at nothing shot of Patrick during the "Hausu" footage planned, i.e. he deliberately stood there saying nothing, or was that just pre-roll tape from other takes that you guys put to good use afterwards ? Because I honestly can't tell and it's brilliant, and I do (well, did but I'm still in 'the biz') TV production editing for a living. Is this video a test-run of sorts toward having more video content uploaded on FThisMovie.net?
cool video. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see you Patrick, or Doug when I came by the deisgnated F This Movie part of the theater. You guys must have been out in the lobby filming. But props to you guys for staying the entire length of the event. I left around 2:00am
Since this thread already features some man love talk already, I think I'm just going to jump on the bandwagon and take my man crush on Doug to the public. Don't hate him because he's beautiful and witty!
This is awesome, guys. Clearly a lot of work and editing went into this, and that's outside of the work that already went into surviving a 24 hour movie marathon and then keeping any sort of normal life in the aftermath. You guys are some creative, talented motherfuckers. Thanks for bringing us along on something that's kind of personal, in a weird way.
Also, I suspect you guys will have to take the month of November off just to recover from all this. And Doug, I smell man rape. Run! Or...enjoy? It's up to you. Have I ever told you you have a pretty mouth?
Also also, I unironically totally love Dokken. They are ridiculous and fun, just like most horror movies themselves. Great to see them in the video.
We brought our own food, and left at one point and walked to a nearby Subway. Otherwise, it's pretty much movie food. I heard rumors there was a food truck selling Meat Loaf at one point, but it was gone before we went out there. Adam Riske was upset, because he wanted a Bat Out of Hell CD.
Oy Vey! I think I can smell the Portage theater through the video :-) If I shot a documentary of myself there it would feature a 6am shot of me walking aimlessly down Milwaukee avenue trying to find any place with food. I was SOOOOOO hungry. I had to get in my car and drive to Dunkin and there was a creepy (homeless???) guy there trying to show me his bus pass. Don't get me wrong it was nice, but it's too early for that...that's a 7am conversation.
BTW...did anyone watch the new Evil Dead remake trailer? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! The fact that Bruce Campbell is schilling for the Evil Texas Chainsaw Dead is depressing to me. That and meeting him in person...talk about a bubble bursting :-(
Well, as the recipient of one Munchkin, let me say IT WAS WORTH IT.
I watched that Evil Dead trailer and also thought it looked a LOT like a Platinum Dunes movie. I don't get why all the online guys are saying it looks really good. I'll see it because I've got a thing for Jane Levy, but my hopes are NOT HIGH.
Adam, I had like 8 pounds of homemade snack mix -- TWO KINDS -- why did you not get any?! Did you think it was for the beardies only? You must have heard me pushing snack mix all night... by 3 am "whowantssnaaaackmiiiiix" was pretty much the only word I could say.
I totally forgot....my bad. You did offer me snack mix earlier in the evening. I wanted coffee really bad and BK also has french toast sticks which was my plan. When I saw they were closed I had to audible and I wound up at Dunkin Donuts.
Awesome video guys. It’s great to get a bit more insight into your experiences at The Massacre. It looked like a real slog to get through. I don’t think I could last that long without a proper meal and a good sleep without getting really cranky.
It’s really weird putting faces to your voices after all this time. I know you’ve posted a couple of photos in the past, but I just skimmed past them, so I had these ideas in my head of what you all looked like and for some reason I pictured Patrick as being bald.
I don't think I'm mentally prepared to see your faces and hear your voices at the same time.
ReplyDeleteAgreed, but I'm glad I did. It illustrates the true feeling of enduring the entire Massacre very well. Tanks for making this great video!
DeleteOn a side note, I really need to check out Hausu, I think. It looks freaking crazy, and I tend to love Japanese films in general.
Thanks, Murph. You should DEFINITELY check out Hausu. But you have to do it at 2 a.m. after watching seven other movies.
DeleteDon't worry everyone. I made it through. (By masturbating.)
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, thanks for giving us a glimpse into what the Massacre is like. I wish I could go someday, but living on the other side of the world is gonna make that a bit difficult.
Also: there's something strangely amusing about seeing really tired people.
That's how I made it through, too!
DeletePS -- Don't tell JB's wife.
Hi guys! Wait -- don't tell me what?
DeleteWow, I didn't even realize you guys had faces! I think we should make F This Movie membership beard-mandatory - I've got mine! - and don't worry, ladies (and Doug), we'll accept the beard from down below, if you know what I'm saying.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you guys had...fun..? I don't think I could do it...it was kinda hard watching 5 or 6 movies in a row for the F This Movie Fest and that was in the comfort and pantslessness of my own home!
P.S. Patrick - I sent you a couple emails over the past couple weeks with a question and never heard back - did I get spam-blocked perhaps?
I can't grow a beard :(
Delete34 going on 13.
Oooh, sorry if I brought up a touchy subject...haha, actually I BARELY can. Took me a long time with a pretty bad in-between period that I would not be able to go through again now that I'm not a student. I haven't shaved it all off in 8 years because I'd never be able to go through the trouble again and my girlfriend/spousal equivalent of 8 years (not a coincidence) is a beard-lover.
DeleteAnyway, Doug - Google "Cash Cab Canada Host" and check out the images - maybe I'm getting an inaccurate impression from this video, but is that guy your doppelgänger?
Thanks Tall Hot. But is there even a Canadian city large enough to support an entire cab system?
DeleteAlso, I'm more handsome than him [OBVIOUSLY], but I'd still let him kiss my mouth. You know -- for science.
PS -- we all know that Patrick, Mike and JB are the alphas of the team.
Why do you hate Canada, Doug? Is it because of our FREEDOM?
DeleteI would actually put my heterosexual reputation at stake to agree with you on the handsomeness and the fact I'd like to see you kiss each other. How can it be wrong when it feels so right?
I LOVE Canada -- I've been to Toronto (twice), Fort Frances, Voyageurs National Park, Montreal and Victoria. It's my favorite suburb of America!
DeleteRicky Receptacle Says Thank You.
Seriously, love it. Think I'm going back to Toronto this fall.
I like TH's idea of mandatory beards, but I'm wondering if I will be accepted since I've trimmed my former beard into a Frank Zappa mustache with soul patch. Or maybe it's a Wyatt Earp Tombstone kind of thing. My hypocrisy knows no bounds.
DeleteSorry, TH. I'll get back to you right away.
DeleteOK, no joke here, Doug looks/sounds a lot more handsome and gorgeous (!) than his voice on the podcast would indicate. He's the stud of the 'F This Movie' gang appearance-wise, and I'm confident enough in my manly heterosexuality in admitting I'm jealous of the guy's looks. There, I said it I would say it again if I didn't have Sanka for breakfast.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing what associating names/voices/personalities you're familiar with from a podcast does when those same people are seen/heard through normal video or in person. I thought I could identify Mike or Patrick or Doug if I heard them on the street walking by me, but based on that video I wouldn't be able to pick their real-voice in a "Law & Order" voice line-up if my life depended on it. JB still sounds kind-of like JB though. BTW. "a ladder" = F'n brilliant. :-)
I gotta ask though, was the silent stare at nothing shot of Patrick during the "Hausu" footage planned, i.e. he deliberately stood there saying nothing, or was that just pre-roll tape from other takes that you guys put to good use afterwards ? Because I honestly can't tell and it's brilliant, and I do (well, did but I'm still in 'the biz') TV production editing for a living. Is this video a test-run of sorts toward having more video content uploaded on FThisMovie.net?
cool video. Unfortunately, I didn't get to see you Patrick, or Doug when I came by the deisgnated F This Movie part of the theater. You guys must have been out in the lobby filming. But props to you guys for staying the entire length of the event. I left around 2:00am
ReplyDeleteCool video. Would definately be interested to see more of this type of content on the site.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Brad! We plan to do more, hopefully in the near future.
DeleteSince this thread already features some man love talk already, I think I'm just going to jump on the bandwagon and take my man crush on Doug to the public. Don't hate him because he's beautiful and witty!
ReplyDeleteI always new watermelon was your favorite.
DeleteTastes great, looks even more mouthwatery in person. ;-)
DeleteBet you got that "supernatural baloney" clip from the Monkees movie, Head...
ReplyDeleteThat's not where the clip is pulled from, but that's certainly what inspired it. Good eye.
DeleteJust wanted to say that SMC3 has cracked 700!
ReplyDeleteWhoohoo!
YES!
DeleteThis is awesome, guys. Clearly a lot of work and editing went into this, and that's outside of the work that already went into surviving a 24 hour movie marathon and then keeping any sort of normal life in the aftermath. You guys are some creative, talented motherfuckers. Thanks for bringing us along on something that's kind of personal, in a weird way.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I suspect you guys will have to take the month of November off just to recover from all this. And Doug, I smell man rape. Run! Or...enjoy? It's up to you. Have I ever told you you have a pretty mouth?
Also also, I unironically totally love Dokken. They are ridiculous and fun, just like most horror movies themselves. Great to see them in the video.
Also also also, you guys are awesome.
Thanks, HH. It is a of work, but reactions like yours make it all worth it. I know that sounds LAME but it's completely sincere.
DeleteI'll miss Doug when he's just a skin suit. Won't you?
So, do they feed you guys during these things, or are you forced to subsist off of popcorn and candy from the snack bar for 24 hours, or what?
ReplyDeleteWe brought our own food, and left at one point and walked to a nearby Subway. Otherwise, it's pretty much movie food. I heard rumors there was a food truck selling Meat Loaf at one point, but it was gone before we went out there. Adam Riske was upset, because he wanted a Bat Out of Hell CD.
DeleteHA! Maybe I'm biased... But you're funny.
DeleteYou guys rock! They Should issue a belt buckle every time you do this.
ReplyDeleteI wish we had something like that over here in Seattle/Tacoma.
Thanks, David! A belt buckle would be great. My pants would stay on!
DeleteNext year, we should post the lineup so everyone can play along at home. Including US.
Oh Dude!!! "Tweet The Massacre!" Best idea ever!
DeleteOy Vey! I think I can smell the Portage theater through the video :-) If I shot a documentary of myself there it would feature a 6am shot of me walking aimlessly down Milwaukee avenue trying to find any place with food. I was SOOOOOO hungry. I had to get in my car and drive to Dunkin and there was a creepy (homeless???) guy there trying to show me his bus pass. Don't get me wrong it was nice, but it's too early for that...that's a 7am conversation.
ReplyDeleteBTW...did anyone watch the new Evil Dead remake trailer? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! The fact that Bruce Campbell is schilling for the Evil Texas Chainsaw Dead is depressing to me. That and meeting him in person...talk about a bubble bursting :-(
Well, as the recipient of one Munchkin, let me say IT WAS WORTH IT.
DeleteI watched that Evil Dead trailer and also thought it looked a LOT like a Platinum Dunes movie. I don't get why all the online guys are saying it looks really good. I'll see it because I've got a thing for Jane Levy, but my hopes are NOT HIGH.
Adam, I had like 8 pounds of homemade snack mix -- TWO KINDS -- why did you not get any?! Did you think it was for the beardies only? You must have heard me pushing snack mix all night... by 3 am "whowantssnaaaackmiiiiix" was pretty much the only word I could say.
DeleteI totally forgot....my bad. You did offer me snack mix earlier in the evening. I wanted coffee really bad and BK also has french toast sticks which was my plan. When I saw they were closed I had to audible and I wound up at Dunkin Donuts.
ReplyDeleteAwesome video guys. It’s great to get a bit more insight into your experiences at The Massacre. It looked like a real slog to get through. I don’t think I could last that long without a proper meal and a good sleep without getting really cranky.
ReplyDeleteIt’s really weird putting faces to your voices after all this time. I know you’ve posted a couple of photos in the past, but I just skimmed past them, so I had these ideas in my head of what you all looked like and for some reason I pictured Patrick as being bald.
I don't know how to feel about that.
DeleteI like to picture you as a small Filipino woman. This has nothing to do with the podcast.
DeleteI'm bald. And by that I mean a bald Filipino woman.
ReplyDelete